Say what you will about its corny message and lulzy ’90s in-your-faceness, but let us all face facts about Extreme’s “Get The Funk Out”: Holy ballz this jam is the work of superstuds. For starters, drummer Paul Geary just rips on it, esp on those big entrances to the choruses (i.e. on the “If you”s); the second one (at 1:53) is what a renowned musicologist may describe as mega-bonerz awesome. With Geary in charge, the whole band locks ass-tight into the swing. I love!
Tuesday, January 10th, 2012 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Yesterday we ran a very silly post in which we hypothesized about possible new vocalists for Killswitch Engage, except that the majority of candidates we named are not realistic possibilites (more on that in a second). I know that there are people who were bummed that we didn’t consider more realistic potentialities, but there was a reason we didn’t do that — it seems to us that Jesse Leach is really the only man for this job. (And, yes, we know that Leach just told fans via Facebook that “If I have something to say, I WILL say it. For the moment I have no comments on KSE.” But what do you expect him to say?)
Leach isn’t just the obvious choice — he’s really the best choice. Because his voice is still in great shape; because he’s a great performer; and because in 2012, we’d like to think that bands have learned from the Gary Cherones, Blaze Bayleys, and Dan Nelsons of the world. Being the third singer for a really famous band is a thankless task, even if you’re really talented. Tommy Vext, for example, is a great vocalist — but if he really did join KsE, he would face a momentous uphill battle to be accepted by fans and come out from under the shadow of Leach and Jones. And history teaches us that he — or any other singer, for that matter — probably would not win that battle.
So. This message on Killswitch’s official website certainly caught me by surprise…
Wednesday, July 27th, 2011 at 4:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
1) Be nicer to Sebastian Bach
2) Compare penis sizes with Tommy Lee
3) Hire Phil LaBonte as a vocal coach
4) Hire Billy Milano as a personal trainer
5) Hire Tripp Eisen as a baby sitter
6) Sleep with present-day Tawny Kitaen
7) Help Danzig clean up his motherfucking bricks, bitch
8) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about politics
9) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about romance
10) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about Ted Nugent
Thursday, January 13th, 2011 at 4:00pm by Leyla Ford
Yesterday, Sergeant D. posted a Metal Edition of the classic parlor game Marry, Fuck, or Kill, and you guys responded, uh, enthusiastically, surprising no one. And because we’re equal opportunity offenders — don’t forget that this is the site which posts leaked naked pictures of women and men alike — we decided that today we should post a metal d00dz edition.
So we sat down with the Mansion’s resident feminist, Leyla Ford, and presented her with some hot metal d00dz for a new game of MFK. Check out the results after the jump…
Since its inception by the typings of some clever music journalist in the 80s, the categorization “hair metal” (or “glam metal”) has been as amorphous and, consequently, as misused as “metalcore” has been in the aughties. And since it’s hair metal week here on MetalSucks, we thought we’d try to address this issue by pointing the spotlight on ten bands that are often, and incorrectly, deemed “hair metal.” And to that end…
If Van Halen set the standard for the flashy guitar techniques and outrageous frontman theatrics that would later come to define hair metal, then it’s only fair to call Extreme their proverbial nephews and similarly disrobe them of the “hair metal” tag. At their peak more than a full decade after EVH and DLR changed the face of heavy music forever, the Boston duo of Gary Cherone on vocals and wunkerkind Nuno Bettencourt on guitar channeled the vintage feel-good VH vibes into three killer albums that still stand up today. Nuno’s unabashed EVH worship was on display at all times both in his supersonic leads and intricately voiced, highly rhythmic rhythms — I suppose one could argue that he stylistically one-upped EVH and took everything he’d done to the next level, but I don’t think I’m gonna go there — and Cherone, though not as outrageous as David Lee Roth, certainly summoned his whacky / feel good on-stage personality, and not for nothin’ was definitely a better vocalist. And of course there’s that little thing where Cherone sang for Van Halen for a minute… but we don’t talk about that.
I had a blast when Vince and I saw the Van Halen/DLR reunion tour in 2007 — so much so that I actually considered forking over an obscene amount of money to go see the band on the second leg of the same tour, Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s presence be damned. And yet, this rumor, first reported by VH fan site Van Halen News Desk, fills me with dread:
“It’s been a while since I reached out to one of my best sources of Van Halen info over the years, but it had to be done. And I got the information I was hoping for – independent confirmation from a long time source I trust that Van Halen are indeed working towards finishing recording of a long awaited new studio album with David Lee Roth, set for release sometime in the first half of 2011. A single is slated for release before the end of this year, but exact timing still remains very much up in the air. I’m told the relationship between Eddie and Dave remains as complex as ever, but there is a definite desire to get a new record completed.”
I have no doubt that this is really happening, ’cause, well, CHA-CHING! (And I have no doubt that “complex” is the nicest possible word you could use to describe the relationship between Diamond Dave and EVH — lest we forget, these two can’t even be in dressing rooms in close proximity to one another.) But why, if I had so much fun at the band’s concert, am I so terrified by the idea of a new Van Halen album?
Well, lemme ask you this: anybody remember “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” and “Me Wise Magic,” the VH/DLR reunion songs the band recorded for their 1996 greatest hits collection? Yeah, neither did I ’til I just re-listened to ‘em — and I actually bought that CD the day it came it out just for those songs alone (no illegal downloading in those days, kiddies).
