Refs were fucking up this week, people. I know it’s part of the game, but wow! Some teams owe their wins to hard work and practice and some owe them to the zebra men looking the other way. One of these games was the Dolphins-Steelers match. Miami’s D was crushing against the Steelers who pulled out a victory by one point. I’m sure Pittsburgh is happy to have that mattress shaped man back at QB. One team that didn’t need the refs’ help was the Oakland Raiders. Zoinks. As I was watching the games shown on the east coast, the score ticker would pop up and every time it came to the Raiders game I couldn’t believe the absolute slaying that was going on. Kerry King would be proud.

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Well, it’s Sunday again: Time for nachos, football and terrible beer and car ads. One ad in particular that caught my attention this week opens with a young red coat running through the forest, who rushes to his pals who are awaiting the oncoming Yanks during the Revolutionary War. They seem confident in their numbers and abilities as the Union Jack sways in the wind, when out of nowhere George Fucking Washington comes blasting at them in the new Dodge Challenger complete with an American flag. WOO-HOO!!! Holy shit, Britain, look out!!! He must have built a god damned time machine and decided to forgo the WMD’s and use scare tactics instead. This ain’t no horse and buggy, you English bastards!!!

The best part is when Dexter, who does the voice-over, announces “Here are a couple of things America got right: cars and freedom.” I actually laughed at this point in the ad. Apparently Dodge thinks that all football fans are lowest common denominator no-sleeve American flag t-shirt wearing morons. I mean, I’m sure some of us are, but come on.

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Seriously, if you haven’t read Vince’s epic story about how MetalSucks Maniac “whiskey” won last week’s last week’s photo caption contest, you need to go read it now. It’s pretty amazing. Whiskey’s mom even left a comment! We like to think of MetalSucks as something the whole fucking family can enjoy together, so that warmed the cockles of our collective heart.

Here’s some other fun stuff that happened this week:

• We debuted a performance clip from the new Shadows Fall live DVD, the new Intronaut album, and a new Madball song. PHEW!
• We spoke to Jeremy Creamer from Daath, Johnny Plague from Winds of Plague, Adam Warren from Oceano, and Ashmedi from Melechesh. Oh, and Anso unveiled part one of his massive two-part interview with Atheist’s Kelly Shaefer.
• We checked out new releases by Salome, Madball, Woe, and Arson Anthem and Ender. And a DWARR reissue!
• Greg Weeks from The Red Chord said good-bye to Randy Moss and hello to men wearing pink tights, Sacha Dunable from Intronaut contemplated the legalization of recreational marijuana use in California, and Eyal Levi from Daath discovered DestinAsian.
• Sergeant D. celebrated the thirtieth anniversary of Pantera’s Cowboys from Hell. Wait, what?
• We couldn’t figure out why everyone was so surprised that ICP are evangelical Christians.
• We found out the hard way that Attack Attack!’s music could be even worse than it already is.
• We took a slow ride on Metallica’s Lightning.
• We laughed at one shit stain calling another shit stain “a shit stain.”
• And, oh yeah! Gary Suarez took over the site for a day.

Next week is CMJ here in New York! If you’re in the area and looking for some awesome metal, check out our handy guide to all the festivities — including not one but TWO showcases sponsored by MetalSucks. We’re not gonna lie — we are going to be very hungover and tired next week. But that just means we’ll be crankier than usual. We’ll still be here with lots of debuts, interviews, and other assorted nonsense. Bring your mom! It’ll be fun.

-AR

I’d like to begin this week by congratulating the Lions on their crushing 44-6 win against the Rams. Look out Chicago, Detroit is coming for you!

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve seen state vs. state action. This week is no different. In an upset that took seven years the Oakland Raiders defeated the San Diego Chargers. Their win brings the division to a three way tie.

Here in New England the Pats say goodbye to wide receiver Randy Moss. After reportedly telling QB Tom Brady he “looks like a girl” and not getting the attention on the field he thinks he needs, Randy went back to the Vikings. New England received a third round pick in the 2011 draft. As much of a pain as Moss may or may not have been, trading him in the early season for a third round pick has some of us raising our eyebrows. Who’s going to keep the secondary busy while Brady throws to everyone else? It seems to me that Moss wanted to break records and leave behind a name rather than be a part of a team. At least now he gets a second shot at the Jets.

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Earlier this week I had a dream that I was working with Atreyu. I don’t know in what capacity I could possibly find myself “working with” Atreyu, since I’m not a manager, nor a publicist, nor a label rep, and they’re about as likely to end up doing a guest column here as I am to give the new In This Moment album a perfect 5-horn review, but, hey, the subconscious works in mysterious ways. Why did I have Atreyu on the brain? Was my mind trying to tell me “The glass is half-full?” Do I have  a hankering to re-watch The Neverending Story? Did I just ingest too many different substances that night? I’ll have to bring it up in therapy next week.

Here’s other shit that happened this week, some of which, believe it or not, is even more terrifying than the thought of working with Atreyu:

• Freddy Madball is counting down his favorite hard and heavy non-hardcore bands of all time, TesseracT’s Acle walked us through the history of djent, The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley spoke to Converge’s Kurt Ballou about Taco Riffs, The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks made some suggestions for losing NFL teams, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable contemplated the ways in which technology has changed touring, Daath’s Eyal Levi wondered, “Is this it?”, and a wide array of metal stars previewed the just-begun NHL season.
• We spoke to Kirk Windstein from Crowbar/Down/Kingdom of Sorrow, Sean Z. from Daath, Daddy X and Dirtball from Kottonmouth Kings, and Yoshiki Hayashi from X Japan.
• We checked out the latest releases from Abysse and Deafheaven.
• We contemplated trancecore.
• As the headline says, we heard the worst thing ever.
• We reviewed the history of terrible Limp Bizkit cover songs.
• We had fun with misheard song lyrics.
• We bemoaned the signing of another re-thrash band.
• We applauded Slayer fans’ desire to help the physically disabled.
• We had yet another laugh at Winds of Plague’s expense.

We have a special surprise for you next week. I can’t promise you’re going to like it, but I can promise you’re going to have a strong reaction to it. See ya then.

-AR

So, the regular season is a quarter of the way through and we can separate the good from the not so good. I’ve compiled a quick list of suggestions for certain teams (Bills, Lions, Panthers and ’9ers) to claw their way back to the top. Where muscles and tattoos used to intimidate the enemy, today’s athletes are on ‘roids and look like human coloring books. Here are some ideas that are outside of the box.

Suggestion 1: Have your entire defensive line eat a bunch of Mexican food for breakfast and chase it with a ton of castor oil.

As they shit themselves and vomit all over their opponents’ front line, the distraction, if not the smell alone, will clear a direct path to the QB. I’m not sure how many times this’ll work, seeing as if a human vomits and has diarrhea for the length of a football game they’ll be dead, but it might get at least one slash in the win column.

A quick example: There was a young lady who won the Boston Marathon while having her “lady event” and also pooping. Was she a great runner or did no one want to come close to her? It’s a sports mystery.

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In case you can’t tell by all the posting I’ve been doing about the soundtrack, I really wanna see The Social Network. It’s just like the story of how MetalSucks was created, only we didn’t go to ivy league schools, we’re not billionaires, and we haven’t sued each other (yet). How dare David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin steal our life story!

Speaking of our life story, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new music by The Fucking Wrath.
• Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable wondered if America really has any talent, The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks discussed the NFL with Job for a Cowboy’s Charn, and Daath’s Eyal Levi taught us about proper etiquette for being a houseguest.
• We spoke to Eric Guenther from From Exile and the new Daath album.
• We checked out new releases by The Serpent & The Siren as well as Mutant Supremacy, Pyrrhon and Parasitic Extirpation.
• We found out that way more of you like nu-metal than we thought.
• We learned how to look like a hot metal chick.
• We bemoaned the latest batch of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees.
• We watched the new Cephalic Carnage video and now we’re afraid we’ll never get a boner again.
• We got excited about the first awesome tour of 2011.
• We declared Cradle of Filth to be a glam band now.

Have a good weekend, folks. See ya Monday!

-AR

Oh snap!!! During Monday night football last week, down-on-his-luck Saints running back Reggie Bush snapped his fibula. After realizing he was hurt, Reggie attempted to walk on the broken leg. It reminded me of a video I once saw. In the video, a guy was on PCP and being chased by the cops. He jumped off of a second story parking garage and landed on his side. He completely shattered one of his legs, got up and attempted to run again. It was fucking gross! After falling a couple of times, due to the perp’s now-rubber leg, the cops easily apprehended him. In short, I think the NFL should have a week where every team is on PCP. Even non-football fans would tune in.

Even though it’s an exciting week for football — Texas vs. Texas (Texas won!), Drew Brees on 60 Minutes (how is Andy Rooney still alive?), and still no Roethlisberger (and the Steelers can’t lose) — I took it upon myself to mix this blog up a bit. Knowing I’d be more focused on the season premiere of Eastbound and Down than highlights, I decided to call up a fellow football fan and ask him a couple questions. His name is Charn, he has an amazing throwing arm, and he plays drums for Job For A Cowboy.

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So this normally where we write some fairly meaningless bullshit as an intro to our weekly recap, but reader Sean Williams sent us a link to the below video update from one Mr. Devin Townsend, and we really can’t think of a better way to kick-off the weekend. As Sean put it, “Deconstruction AND Ghost as a double record? Holy fucking shit!” And it gets “Holy shittier” when we get to hear a little bit of new music…

Here are some other fun things that happened at MetalSucks this week:

• We debuted Joe Satriani’s first Black Swans and Wormhole Wizards webisode and new music by Sweet Cobra.
• Gwar’s Oderus Urungus answered more of your idiotic questions, The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks got unnecessarily rough, Daath’s Eyal Levi pondered the meaning of sacrifice, and Rumpelstiltskin Grinder’s Shawn Riley taught us how to make delicious hot wings.
• We spoke to producer/engineer/mixer extraordinaire Mark Lewis, The Contortionist’s Jon Carpenter, and Shred Sean from Blessed by a Broken Heart.
• We checked out new releases from Dawnbringer and Merkaba.
• We helped A Day to Remember struggle with young adulthood.
• We gave Jason Newsted a shoulder to cry on.
• We got excited that Byzantine are making a new record.
• The kid of the dude from the E-Street Band is out of Madball.
• We’ve decided that when we die, we want our ashes to be pressed into vinyl.
• Can you please help us find Elote 5?

Until Monday… don’t get alcohol poisoning…

-AR

Few bands give interviews as entertaining as ones with The Red Chord, and Metal Injection‘s latest — conducted backstage during the NYC stop of this year’s Summer Slaughter tour — is no exception. Bassist (and now MetalSucks NFL columnist!) Greg Weeks and guitarist Mike “Gunface” McKenzie basically highjack the thing, and, well, I almost feel bad for anyone who got anywhere near them during the course of the interview (especially the members of “Veil of Papaya”). I would seriously love it if these dudes had their own television series, so I could just tune in and watch them go kuh-ray-zee on a weekly basis.

Head over to Metal Injection for tons more interviews and awesome live footage from Summer Slaughter.

-AR

Many metal fans might be thinking, “Why is there a blog about organized sports on a metal site?” The answer: I have no fucking idea. I’m not sure you can make many similarities between metal and the NFL, other than they both usually have dudes smashing into each other in a semi-homoerotic way.

In any case, rooting for your local team, which is usually filled with no one from your area, to win games — something you have zero control over while sitting on your couch eating Funyuns — is pretty fun if you want it to be. The frequent concussions, the controversies, and the occasional femur snap make it all worth it for me. If you’re still not convinced, watch Terrell Owens crying:

Now, onto the games!

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Let the Games Begin!!!

Hello there. MetalSucks is letting me bring you my heavily opinionated, and often correct, views on today’s NFL. Once a week, I’ll be letting you know about the upsets, great plays, and ridiculous behavior of our beloved athletes.

The Saints-Vikings re-match was a great way to kick off the season. In a repeat of last season’s NFC Championship game, The Saints, once again, were victorious over There’s Something About Mary actor and AARP-dodger Brett Favre and his Vikings. In Eagles news, I still love seeing Michael Vick lose. Nothing against Philly, but that guy’s a dick.

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Last week we gave Fed Through the Teeth Machine, the incredible new album from death/grind/prog pioneers The Red Chord, four out of five horns, and, honestly, we’re not even sure that that’s a high enough rating. Certain to make many year-end lists, Fed Through the Teeth Machine displays The Red Chord doing what they do best: defying expectations, breaking genre conventions, and tearing the listener a new asshole.

Metal Blade will release Fed Through the Teeth Machine this coming Tuesday, October 27, but as always, MetalSucks has ya covered: we’re streaming the entire album now through Monday, so you can hear how awesome it is before you buy it. We hope you love it as much as we do.

And while we’re on the topic, why you don’t read our interview with The Red Chord’s Gunface about the making of the album?

[This promotion has ended. -Ed.]

If there’s any justice in the world, The Red Chord’s excellent new album, Fed Through the Teeth Machine (read my four out of five horns review here), will cement Mike “Gunface” McKenzie’s status as one of his generation’s great guitar gods while introducing his truly unique playing to scores of new fans. Now The Red Chord’s sole axe slinger, Gunface really steps up his game on Teeth – the riffs and solos on this album are easily some of the year’s very best.

That being the case, I was very, very excited to have the opportunity to e-mail some questions to Gunface earlier this week. He follows bassist Greg Weeks and vocalist Guy Kozowyk as the latest member of The Red Chord to humor me by answering some truly idiotic (and hopefully a few intelligent) questions (I’m sure we’ll get to drummer Brad Fickeisen sooner or later). After the jump, get Gunface’s thoughts on the creation of Fed Through the Teeth Machine, writing solos, his various side projects, the value of the Death Star, and more.

Fed Through the Teeth Machine is out October 27 on Metal Blade.

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Only history will tell us for sure, but I suspect that The Red Chord’s 2002 debut, Fused Together in Revolving Doors, will end up being regarded as one of the most influential metal records of its time. Its title is truly appropriate; it’s not a death album, it’s not a grind album, it’s not a hardcore album, it’s basically just a “play whatever the fuck we want album.” There are now hordes of bands aping it, and most of them are doing a shit job.

Meanwhile, three albums, seven years, and a whole bunch of line-up changes later, The Red Chord are just as uncompromising and self-assured in their vision. I have no idea what a teeth machine is – apparently it has something to do with zippers – but Fed Through the Teeth Machine certainly makes me feel as though that’s exactly what I’ve experienced.

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Like the characters in Martin Scorsese’s awesome cops n’ gangsters undercover thriller The Departed, Greg Weeks is from Boston. He doesn’t actually have one of those great MA accents, but, hey, you take what you can get.

Which must why our hetero life mates at Metal Injection selected Weeks to go undercover at this year’s Maryland Deathfest, going into the crowd “to get the fans to explain to him what metal is tr00ly about.”

The results are, needless to say, hilarious. Check it out:

-AR

The Red Chord guitarist Mike “Gunface” McKenzie is shooting and editing an in-studio diary for our friends at Metal Injection chronicling the making of the band’s new album, which will hopefully drop later this year.

When we interviewed Red Chord bassist Greg Weeks last year, he described the band’s writing and recording process thusly:

“We all get in a room and yell at each other about stupid shit and then painstakingly put riffs together even though it kills us a little bit each time… We argue, we each want it done our way, we smell, we curse, we bleed all over the place, I kicked someone, let’s eat, we yell, we hate the way other people breathe, cannon ball, kitchen craft, we ignore suggestions, we’re ugly and Santa was there, too.”

Hopefully we’ll get to see some of this insanity in upcoming episodes of Gunface’s diary. In the meantime, here’s his first entry, which documents some drum tracking:

-AR

It wasn’t that long ago that we interviewed The Red Chord bassist Greg Weeks via e-mail, but since a) that interview turned out to be one of the best we’ve ever done and b) we love The Red Chord, we just couldn’t resist the chance to sit down with vocalist Guy Kozowyk at the Long Island stop of the Rockstar Mayhem Festival. Guy was happy, or at least very good at pretending to be happy, to talk to us about the tour, playing in front of such huge crowds, and the already legendary Ladder Up an Ass project, but, like his bandmate, he was also cool enough to humor Axl Rosenberg when he asked a stupid question on behalf of his girlfriend. Check out the full transcript of our chat after the jump.

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At the beginning of April, just as genre-bending metal masters The Red Chord were kicking off a tour with Converge, Genghis Tron, Baroness and Coliseum, we were given the opportunity to e-mail bassist Greg Weeks some questions. Of course, we jumped at the chance.

And then we never heard back.

At the time, we assumed that Greg had decided our questions were just too stupid to answer (and who could blame the dude?); in fact, there was another culprit at fault for Greg’s delayed response.

After the jump, find out why it took Greg so long to get back to us, and read his thoughts on such incredibly relevant political topics as why no producer will work with the band more than once, touring with Disturbed, and the current state of large beards in metal. For, surely, this interview proves our journalistic integrity.

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