I betcha when you saw that headline, you got all excited and thought I was talking about the band’s new album, didnjcha? Sorry if I misled you, but, really, doncha think ya oughta know better by now?

In point of fact, I’m referring to the news that there’s going to be a Guitar Hero game based around Metallica, not unlike that Aerosmith one that’s coming out later this summer. Says Game Spot:

“Guitar Hero: Metallica is no longer a case of wishful thinking or idle speculation–it’s fact. When sifting through an SEC filing of Activision’s over the weekend, Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Edward Woo–associate of the highly visible Michael Pachter–uncovered a gem in the section where the Santa Monica, California-based publisher discussed its upcoming game slate.”

I know a lot of people think that the Guitar Hero craze is over, but the game’s sales (and ongoing sales of new downloadable songs) don’t reflect that; personally, I’m playing way less GH than I was a year ago, but that’s mostly because after perfecting Slayer’s “Raining Blood” and, yes, Metallica’s “One,” I just couldn’t be bothered with songs by craps acts like My Chemical Romance anymore. In other words: I can see myself wasting several weeks of my life on this game – and, yes, I’ve taken into account that I won’t want to play anymore once I’ve reached all post-’91 material (Yes, I’m one of those people who actually likes The Black Album. Deal with it.). Getting really, insanely good at “Fade to Black” and “Disposable Heroes” should keep me plenty occupied, thank you very much.

The game is supposed to drop in the first quarter of ’09. Tell your girlfriend that would be a perfect time for her to gather her posse and finally check out that Sex and the Shitty movie you’re refusing to take her to.

-AR

[Thanks: Myles Hutchinson]

Look: I know the new Def Leppard single, “Nine Lives,” is gonna suck, and you know the new Def Leppard single is gonna suck. Even if Def Lep haven’t grown into as monumental an embarrassment as, say, Motley Crue, they certainly haven’t written anything anyone should give a crap about in a long, long while. Plus, “Nine Lives” – which comes from the band’s forthcoming new offering, Songs from the Sparkle Lounge* – is a collaboration with country singer/Faith Hill fucker Tim McGraw, which places it squarely in the Sevendust/Chris Daughtry “Just Shoot Me in the Fucking Head” category.

But the band is releasing the single via Guitar Hero III, and I’m tired of playing “One” and “Raining Blood” over and over again. So, yes, I do plan to download the song and play the living shit out of it.

Besides, it has to better than Aerosmith’s “Nine Lives”… right?

-AR

*They couldn’t just call it Gay: The Album?

The U.S. has reached the saturation point with Guitar Hero, the video game franchise that makes teenagers and wanna-be heshers everywhere feel like rock stars by pushing buttons on a plastic guitar. The peak arrived last Spring/Summer as the past couple of years of Guitar Hero fervor climaxed with the near-simultaneous release of Guitar Hero 3 and Rock Band. You couldn’t go to any store without seeing it, any news site without reading about it, or anyone’s house without playing it. Guitar Hero even invaded bars and entire events were organized around it — in short, it was a cultural phenomenon. Perhaps the peak was a Southpark lampoon, the ultimate stamp of pop-culture relevance.

Here we are in March 2008, and the backlash has begun. Plastic guitars sit in corners of my friends’ apartments rarely used. Occasionally the ‘Hero comes out for some drunken fun, but for the most part this trend seems to have passed; people have had their fill. And frankly, I have to agree that at this point Guitar Hero seems quite passé. But Activision / RedOctane / whoever is making these things these days doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo; they’ve announced a portable “On Tour” edition for the hand-held system Nintendo DS. Talk about overkill. I’d be way more satisfied with the below ad if at the end they actually threw the thing off the side of the building.

Is the Guitar Hero fad over or does it still have some steam left?

-VN

Because we all secretly aspire to be a roadie but don’t have the balls to follow through with our dreams.

-VN

Guitar Hero haters and lovers alike, thank MetalSucks commenter Aaron Cooper for this one. Whether you love air-guitaring with 5 buttons or you think it’s ludicrous, this is fucking impressive.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/wV0qM6-HLuk" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Is there something wrong with people when a video of some dude playing a video game has over 2 million views??? On the other hand, dude has some versatile fingers… I’ll bet he knows how to pleasure his lady.

-VN

Before I go any further, I need to admit right off the bat that I have never played any of the Guitar Hero games. So while I am offering up my preconceived notions for attack and debate, please let it be known that I am well aware that these opinions are preconceived, and I am considering this my “before” post. If and when I do ever play Geettaar Hero 1, 2, or 3, I pledge to write an “after” post that honestly outlines my excitement or yawns, my expertise or ineptitude…

That said, I have to ask as one of the uninitiated, what’s the big fucking deal??? You play guitar…with a controller that has four buttons? Okay, sure — if I was not a musically inclined lad with a strong understanding of how the fretboard of a guitar works, I have to imagine that I would be overjoyed to feel like I was “rocking out” via any means necessary. But I have rocked out, for real, and I strongly suspect that that sensation cannot be recreated through a frickin video game.

I respect that I could be wrong — I’ve been wrong before, once, in the mid 90s, and I gladly recognized it then too. I’m totally open to being convinced otherwise, but I guess until I experience Guitar Hero for myself, I’m stuck thinking that it’s kinda silly.

Although I’m definitely a fan of that commercial where Slash comes out of the dude’s head. The power of the non-non-Jewish former members of G N’ R is infinite.

-KW

As Axl reported yesterday, South Park aired a hilarious parody of Guitar Hero on Wednesday night. Thanks to MetalSucks commenter TedTedPoleyPoley, here is one of the scenes from Wednesday’s episode. As usual, the South Park writers totally nail it.

-VN

I think it’s now safe to say that Guitar Hero is a genuine cultural phenomenon. Last night’s brilliant South Park episode, “Guitar Queer-o,” was exemplary of the show’s usual satirical intelligence: it took the structure of your clichéd rise-and-fall rock stardom story, which served to illustrate how dumb the game actually is (which is not to say I don’t really enjoy the game – I love it – but it’s not a real “skill” per se, now is it?). Plus, it had enough hair metal in it to make you think you were hanging on the Strip in ’85.

Now International Society of Supervillains has posted an article entitled “Real-World Scenearios in Which Guitar Hero Skills Could be Useful.” An example of one such scenario:

“Terrorists have overtaken the local Best Buy and have threatened to shoot all the ‘Battlestar Galactica’ DVDs out of a gun fashioned out of parts from several Plasma TVs and a refrigerator at the people at the Target across the street. The terrorists are bested, however, when a brave young player gets every note in the Expert version of ‘Killing in the Name’ at the store’s demo kiosk, which makes the terrorists realize that, fuck you, they shouldn’t do what you tell them. As a result, they give up on terrorism, buy some Rage CDs and go smoke in front of Forever 21.”

I highly recommend you read the rest of the piece and seek out that South Park episode (it’s not on YouTube – fuckin’ Viacom!). Hi-larious.

-AR

You guys are gonna be happy with this — the tracklisting for Rock Band, aka Guitar Hero for the whole band, has been revealed. Such shredster-pleasers as Nine Inch Nails, Boston, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, Faith No More and Metallica are confirmed to be in the game, which comes out on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 platforms on November 20, and PlayStation 2 on December 18.Those in New York City can play a demo of the game for free at the Best Buy on 23rd St. & 6th Ave — not sure about other locations and cities, but I’m guessing some of them have the demos as well. The complete Rock Band soundtrack after the jump.

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The song list to the upcoming video game Rock Band — you know, like Guitar Hero except for all the instruments in a full rock band — has been released [The Syndicate Blog]. Jams by such headbanger friendly bands as Faith No More, KISS, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Metallica and Nine Inch Nails are confirmed to be included in the game.

We still don’t really understand how the singer part is going to work, but we’re hoping reports are true that you get extra points for flashing the screen while performing Hole’s “Celebrity Skin.”

Full song listing for Rock Band after the jump.

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