We hope that you all get really drunk tonight, that your costume is the hit of the party, and that you find a small child whose mother is too dumb to have taught him not to accept candy from strangers. If you’re having a hard time figuring out how to conceal the razor inside the candy apple, remember that you should dip the apple in candy AFTER you slide the razor in, so that the sauce covers up the gap.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Thanks to Jay from All Hallow’s Evil for making and sending in the above video!

I’m boycotting Halloween this year. I’m just over it. All the effort that goes into planning out your costume, procuring it and dressing up… and worst of all the constant TALK with EVERYONE about “what are you wearing?” and “what are you doing this year?” It’s like the obligatory weather-related elevator conversation… cringe-inducing. So over it.

But I’m most certainly not boycotting German power metallers Helloween, who have posted their brand new album 7 Sinners in its entirety on MySpace just in time for today’s festivities. We all know how I feel about bands that sing about METAL and this album’s got a song called “Are You Metal?” so it’s an automatic win in my book. Raise your fist in the air this Halloween with some tasty new Helloween as you go out dressed up as Snooki / The Situation or whatever the hot costume is this year.

-VN

Thanks: Captain Wookie

Halloween is making me absolutely fucking crazy this year. You know how people get fed up with the mass-consumerism of Christmas and what it says about American society? I kind of see Halloween in the same light. As soon as October hits (and often even before), the grocery store isles fill up with candy and all anyone can talk about is “what are you gonna be for Halloween this year???”. There’s SO much emphasis and pressure on it that it just becomes crazy and stressful. Like on New Year’s Eve how everyone stresses about where they’re going to be when the ball drops… who fucking cares? It’s a damn cluster of lights signifying the fact that the earth has once again passed by an arbitrarily determined point in space. Get over it. Can’t we just leave Halloween be as a fun time for dress-up for the kiddies?

Maybe I’m just being an old curmudgeon. The ladies of Reign in Blonde took a stab at suggesting how some of their favorite metal musicians should dress up for Halloween this year. Doc Coyle as Wolverine? I like it.

Last year Frank @ Metal Injection went as a pagan metaller, full-on clad in skins, makeup and the whole 9. It was a brilliant costume I wish I’d thought up myself. This year we’re having a little party at the MS Mansion Vince Division and I think I’m just gonna be Louie and run around offering to dip my balls in things. What all do you have planned? Anything metal?

-VN

MS Maniac Brutal Jay tipped us off to the existence of the hilarious Halloween “Metal Mayhem Child Costume” now available at Walmart. My immediate instinct was to be a hater and harp on the co-option of metal culture by a huge conglomerate who obviously cares solely about how much money this product bring in, but then I realized that, for a young kid who’s into metal, this costume is ten times cooler than your average superhero/devil/zombie/vampire whatever costume.

Although, I think if it were me, I’d definitely opt for the Mick Mars edition.

-VN

…and any hope I had that this might be better than Rob Zombie’s Halloween just went right out the fucking window.

Michael Meyers doesn’t have mommy issues. He’s also not a hillbilly. Both of those traits describe Jason Voorhees just fine, but not Michael Meyers. Congratulations, Rob, you are now doing sub-Platinum Dunes work.

-AR

Cripples shouldn’t get so drunk before they leave the house. But despite my lack of gravity-confidence, I wasn’t missing this fucking show. After hearing about half of Between The Buried And Me‘s riconkulous new album, Colors, I knew I had to take the opportunity to see the live show – broken shoulder/Halloween or not; who gives a fuck? Get wasted and go…see…METAL.

So last Wednesday (All Hallow’s Eve), this guy imbibed a half bottle of whiskey and headed out to brave the not-so-creepiness. I’m sure in many crevices of the city evil-doers and maniacal mischief-makers must have been tearing it loose, but thankfully I avoided too much nonsense and rolled up to the venue about 10 minutes before BTBAM was to go on.

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