The time is nigh, my friends. VH1 declared ’90s nostalgia relevant way before its time, but now it’s almost 2010… and ’90s nu-metal nostalgia is starting to creep into mainstream culture on a more organic level. Aside from shitstains like Hollywood Undead seemingly arriving via time-warp and stalwarts like (hed)p.e. completely neglecting the passage of an entire decade (punk, dude!), the generally on-point Sergeant D of Metal Inquisition posted a retroview of Crazytown’s entire discography over the holidays. This is the man who consistently pays non-ironic tributes to Nitro, and anyone who loves Nitro non-ironically is A-ok in our book.

But yo son, for realz: Crazytown?

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You may have noticed that one of the Google ads that keeps popping up around here recently is for some group called Hollywood Undead (In case you’re retarded, you should know that we actually have no control over what Google ads pop up on our site.). After seeing the same picture of this band day after day, I finally decided to check them out for myself.

Well, I would have been better off being the meat in a fuck sandwich with Billy Milano and Dino Cazares. Do people really still make, listen to, or in any way associate themselves with crap like this? Or did someone stick me in a time machine and whisk me away to 1998? I’m fairly certain that Hollywood Undead are just the members of Crazy Town with masks on so they don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of being recognized as the members of Crazy Town.

Anyway, I can’t even get through this entire piece of squirrel feces (For the record, I got as far as the gross chick with the mohawk taking her top off; then I barfed on my computer and turned it off.). Good luck to anyone else who cares to try.

-AR

P.S. Yes, I’m aware that simply by posting this article I’ve probably ensured hundreds of more Google ads for these dudes. Oh well.

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