[For the next several weeks, HORSE the band keyboardist Erik Engstrom will be posting exclusive tour blogs from the road here at MetalSucks. Erik is quite the witty gentlemen, and has some, um, interesting things to say about life on the road. We hope you enjoy his writing as much as we do. Be sure to check out HORSE the band on MySpace, and catch them on their North American tour which runs through the end of November.]

This week I realized something important. It is that if someone thinks you are gay, and may be thinking about killing you, you tell them you are in a metal band. You will immediately have a reversal of fortune in your life, even if at the time you are wearing LEI jeans, eyeliner, have straightened your hair every day for the last 3 years, and were thinking about fucking a little boy in the van a few minutes beforehand and are carrying HIV. In fact, the person who was thinking about killing you (usually a cop or a big white dude in Texas or Wyoming) will now maybe even hug you or shake your hand, make inside jokes about smokin’ Js and tell you about his buddy’s band, TreaZen. None of this matters. What matters is that they are wrong and should still try to kill you.

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