MetalSucks

Yesterday, October 19th, 2009 – a date which will live in infamy – Nick Barham, Rosie O’Donnell look-alike and lead vocalist for Attack Attack!, suddenly and deliberately quit the band. And only mere days before the group was scheduled to begin a tour with another one of the 21st century’s most groundbreaking musical acts, I Set My Friends On Fire.

There is terrible news, to be sure; indeed, I am having a hard time typing this through my tears. It feels like the days Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Stanley Kubrick, Norman Mailer, and Jesus Christ died, all rolled into one. It is a true, true tragedy.

When reached for comment, Barham said, “Like, what do you mean?”

Click to read more…

We’ve worked pretty hard to achieve our title of the “Most Negative Site in Metal.” And we’re proud of that title. We’ve earned it, damn it.

So we’re jealous that those fuckers at The Deciblog, and not us, thought of this brilliant idea:

THE DECIBLOG SCREAMO COVER ELIMINATION BRACKET.

Luckily, they invited us to participate.

Here’s the description of how it’s gonna work:

Click to read more…

MetalSucks Maniac Matt Clark sent us the link to the below video of the unsigned band YEAH! Destroyer covering Katy Perry’s “Hot N’ Cold.” And while I’m fairly certain Matt meant for us to see this cover as a good thing, I have to say – it fucking sucks. And I’m sick of bands doing this kind of shit.

Click to read more…

The May issue of Revolver has an article on Hollywood Undead and “the screamo-crunk explosion,” and while I’m aware that there are people I completely respect who love this shit, this particular sub-genre pretty much makes me want the ending of Dr. Strangelove to come true.

The article included some bands we’ve already declared our hatred for here at MS – the aforementioned Hollywood Undead, Brokencyde, and I Set My Friends on Fire – but also has the unfortunate distinction of having introduced me to Breathe Carolina and 3OH!3.

Honestly, I can’t see how these bands are considered metal, or even hard rock. But, then, I  can’t see how they would be considered anything other than “awful.”

Breathe Carolina, “Diamonds”

Click to read more…

Monday was 2008 Sucks day here at MetalSucks, but we rocked out the rest of the week with some ridiculous shit as per usual:

• We announced our best-of lists for 2008. Check ‘em out.
• Contest: You tell us why you hate the holidays, we send you 100 CDs. Sweet deal.
• PA woman tortures kitties with piercings.
• We spoke with Misery Index’s Jason Netherton and Three Inches of Blood’s Cam Pipes.
• Corporate rock still sells, but Chinese Democracy apparently doesn’t.
• We hated on this band, this band and this band, the latter of whom sent their fans here in droves to hate us back.
• We wondered whether Roadrunner Records actually dropped Amanda Palmer because of her “belly fat” (hint: they didn’t even drop her).
• God Forbid released the cover artwork and tracklisting of Earthsblood, and Pack of Wolves (ex-At All Cost member) released new music.

Tonight it’s new The End Records-signees Hull for Kip and me. Have a good one, everybody.

This is terrible in too many ways to even bother describing. [Thanks: nick @ The Deciblog]

-VN

Here’s what The Deciblog posted this morning with regards to the above video:

“And how’s this for weirdo irony: Epitaph’s recent signing I Set My Friends on Fire is the first case of a MySpace sensation inking a deal based entirely on a reinterpretation of another MySpace sensation’s work (a batshit crazy “screamo” cover of Soulja Boy’s “Crank Dat”). Good for the kids in I Set My Friends on Fire for taking advantage of those desperately out-of-touch carpetbaggers at Epitaph and grabbing the loot — they’d probably find other ways of peddling their wares without a deal, but now they can make music with less distractions. As you can see from the video above, Matt and Nabil seem like pretty funny guys and obviously don’t take themselves too seriously. And the songs on their MySpace page — despite drawing from a somewhat limited palette — are proof that ironic screamo is the only tolerable form of screamo. Since society is getting dumber by the minute, Matt and Nabil could make a killing amongst their 89,000 MySpace friends; when the actual record comes out in Fall 2008, though, they may be the only ones laughing.”

Now, I don’t have a problem with humorous metal so long as it’s accompanied by something resembling musical talent; which is to say, I’m with The Deciblog on this one. What could I Set My Friends on Fire possibly hope to be, other than metal’s answer to Afroman?

-AR