Readers, I have failed you.

I feel obligated to tell you that there’s another new Cavalera Conspiracy song out (“Thrasher,” below) because it’s the Cavaleras, but I’ve listened to it three times trying to find something to say about it, and then I was like, “Oh I wanna listen to Chaos A.D.,” and then I just put Chaos A.D. on.

It’s not that I hate the Cavalera Conspiracy song or anything, it’s just that none of what we’ve heard so far socks me in the bread basket the way Inflikted did (when it was like “HOLY SHIT THESE BOYS CAN STILL WRITE SEPULTURA SONGS AFTER ALL!!!”), and, besides, like I said, I have access to Chaos A.D. And Beneath the Remains. And Arise! I should find some quality time with Arise real soon, it’s been awhile.

C&C Music Factory’s latest, Blunt Force Trauma, comes out March 28 on Roadrunner. Despite the fact that none of the songs we’ve heard so far have fucked my face off, I am going to listen to it all the way through at least once.

-AR

Cavalera Conspiracy are giving away a new song, “Killing Inside,” for free download here (you gotta give up your e-mail address to get it, natch). It’s the first song we’ve heard from the Cavalera brothers’ eagerly anticipated new album, Blunt Force Trauma, and… I think it’s kind of a bummer.

Correction: half a bummer. Everything from Marc “Why the fuck is he wearing that backpack?” Rizzo’s guitar solo onwards is exactly what I want from CC — which is to say, it sounds appropriately like old school Sepultura, with plenty of thrash elements and lots of awesome shredding. (I may not like that Rizzo was once in Ill Nino, but I can’t fault his skills as a musician.) But the first half of the song is incredibly meh. I hate to sound like the typical lugheaded metal fan, but the shit needs to be faster and more vicious — even the superior second half doesn’t hold a candle to anything on the band’s debut, Inflikted. The riff that powers “Killing Inside” is slow and redundant and kinda reminds me of the riff from the Murderolls’ “Dead in Hollywood.” Which I doubt is what Max and Igor were going for.

Download the song here, and then let us know what you think in the comments section. Blunt Force Trauma comes out March 29 on Roadrunner; I’m holding out hope that this song isn’t representative of the quality of the remainder of the record.

-AR

Scorched-Earth Policy
TBA
Label – Self-release
Release date – Spring 2011

Back in 2001, my first taste of Slipknot’s then-forthcoming sophomore album, Iowa, was a two-minute piece of “The Heretic Anthem.” The snippet was found on a wee little mini-CD from Roadrunner Japan alongside similarly abridged jams by Fear Factory, Ill Nino, Bat Cave, Sepultura, and, uh, Cairo, among others. The weird thing is that this CD5-shaped Reader’s Digest of macho gruntcore — clearly designed for overhead play at Japan’s CD superstores — stayed in heavy rotation at my place for months. Crazy, right? But you can see how, once distilled to its 120-second essence, no song could overstay its welcome or commit an unforgivable gaffe — even Ill Nino’s! And listening to them all was like taking a healthy bite of twelve different pizza slices, some undercooked, most boldly similar, and totally fun! Even Ill Nino’s!

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It was a long weekend, and seemingly eight thousand fucking bands all decided to put out music videos while we were away. Let’s check ‘em out and see if any of them are decent, shall we?

First up we have a video for “Larvae” by Portal. This band pushes so many envelopes they were all offered jobs at the post office, so I’m disappointed they couldn’t come up with a more innovative video. This clip is seriously boring as fuck, as I have no idea what’s going on. Which is how some people feel about Portal’s music, I guess. So, in that regard, this video is a success!

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How about another pointless exercise in trumpeting sales figures that aren’t going to matter in a couple years time when no one will be paying for music ownership because music ownership will be irrelevant? Who’s in? Me! New releases this week included (Hed)p.e., Ill Niño, Monster Magnet, Forbidden,  and Kylesa.

OK, let’s go.

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Jason Suecof is a genius. I don’t mean that in the metaphorical way; he really must be one the smartest guys in all of metal. I remember the “making of” documentary DVD packaged with some album he produced a few years back [Chimaira, I think] in which he picked up a guitar and started ad-libbing a parody of whatever band it was right on the spot, complete with riffs, leads and lyrics. He’s also fucking hilarious, as anyone who’s ever met him or seen interviews with him can attest to. And best of all, he’s got a sense of humor about himself.

While Suecof’s twisted combination of talent and comedy don’t often intermingle on the finished records that you hear, he’s done a series of parody songs over the years that show off both qualities and probably took him all of 5 minutes to write and record. The first, “Shadows Balls,” was — duh, a Shadows Fall parody — that perfectly nails all of that bands trademark sounds in one song. Now he’s decided to let the world in on an Ill Niño parody he tracked back in 2005, and, no surprise, it’s both spot on and fucking hysterical. Stream “Dill Piño” over at Gun Shy Assassin. I suppose that October of 2010 is a fine time to let this song out of the bag, as Ill Niño are about to drop a new record on leading independent label VICTORY RECORDS.

Yeah, you heard that chorus correctly: “You make me feel so real, so fucking unreal /  You make feel so unreal that I feel real.” Perfect.

-VN

Here’s the head-scratcher of the day: Ill Nino have signed with Victory Records. Not just for the release of their next album, either – but for merchandising and publishing, too.

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When it comes to music (and other things really), I tend to play devil’s advocate. If everyone is shitting on a certain band, for some reason, I become more attracted to that band and seek them out. I don’t know what it is about my personality, but I think it stems from the same perspective that inspired me to write the antagonistic blog about rethrash. It may be a character flaw, but I’m sure it has something to do with a need to be an individual. From what I gather, this website is inhabited mainly by “true” metal heads. What I define as “true” are people whom are purists in the realm of metal and usually scoff at any band or trend that reeks of premeditated commercialism or an overt play for popularity, and who usually demand a certain level of musicianship and underground credibility. These fans usually hate every Metallica record after …And Justice For All, and for that matter always prefer any particular band’s older releases, which usually have a more raw and unrefined recording quality, as well as more abstract, less traditional song writing. For example, they will prefer Carcass’s Necrotiscim to Heartwork, or Morbid Angel’s Blessed Are The Sick to Domination. Oh yeah, and these guys gave up on In Flames and Soilwork years ago.

I have a good deal of that purism in my bones, but it always seemed short sighted and close minded. You have no idea how many arguments the Adler brothers from Lamb of God and I have gotten into over the merits of a particluar Metallica or Megadeth record. If you even bring up Disturbed or Limp Bizkit on MetalSucks, it is mocked and disregarded 100% of the time. I think metal heads often have a sheep mentality because of the fear of being viewed by their peers as less credible for liking bands that aren’t considered “true” or “real” enough. We all have guilty pleasures, but the real question is “Why should we feel guilty about something we enjoy?”

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A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR

It’s a little surprising that a band like EkoTren exists in 2008. What isn’t surprising is that bassist Derek DeSantis used to be in Twisted Method and that Light the Fire was produced by Paul Trust, who has worked with the likes of Endo and Diecast – because most of this album seems like chunky, poppy nu-metal slightly re-jiggered to fit more current trends.

Look: these dudes clearly know how write a decent hook, and they seem to do the whole Swedish dual-guitar harmonies thing well enough; if they allowed their music to edge a little more towards the raw side, they might even have a decent album in them. But their arrangements are totally generic, and Trust’s way-too-slick production isn’t helping any: the choruses (clean sung, natch) are auto-tuned to the point where it sounds like they’re being crooned by the Decibot. And, oh yeah, songs that seem fit for a band like Ill Nino (EkoTren’s one time tour mates), like “Become” and “Tranqualized,” are just annoying as all get out, and need to be cut from the band’s repertoire ASAP.

“You need to hear this,” vocalist John Sheldon screams during “Paper Thin.” Unfortunately for him and his bandmates, you probably don’t.

(two out of five horns)

-AR

In the “(hed)p.e. level of suck” department, Ill Nino has delayed the release of their new album Enigma for at least the third time. Originally scheduled for late Summer, then pushed back to October 9, then to today (Jan. 8), and now delayed indefinitely, the band blames the continued setbacks on their label, Cement Shoes Records.

I think I just heard the faint groan of Ill Nino’s one remaining fan. Oh wait, no, that was just Axl farting.

-VN

I hate Halloween. I mean, I guess I don’t mind it in theory, but here in NYC, there’s this huge parade every year that makes it virtually impossible to cross Sixth Avenue all night, which is a real bitch, ’cause I live on one side of Sixth but work on the other – so, sooner or later, I’m gonna hafta try and find a way across. Basically, my evening turns into the most irritating game of Frogger, like, ever.

ANYWAY, here’s ten metal videos that, for whatever reason, strike me as Halloween appropriate. Enjoy.

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