The “Top Hard Music” Chart I’ve been using for this column for the past couple of years is a mixed bag; on one hand, a lot of the “Top Hard Music” albums are really old albums that continue to sell (Metallica’s Black Album, various greatest hits collections, catalogue albums of whatever big band happens to be on tour at the time, etc) which paints a skewed picture of what I’m really interested in, namely the new stuff. On the other hand, it’s interesting to see how those older albums continue to sell.

I was recently alerted to the existence of a different chart, “Current Hard Music;” I’m not sure what the criteria is for what constitutes “Current” as some albums on this chart have been on for 90+ weeks and some artists are certainly not “current” by any means, but it does seem to paint a much better picture of the sales of newer albums. Without perrenial classics and greatest hits comps hogging up precious chart space, fewer units need to be sold for a band to get into the Top 100 on the “Current” chart. I am contemplating a move to focusing on that chart in the future. For now, I’ll stick with Top Hard Music with some added albums from the bottom of the other chart. What do you guys think?

Anyway, this week we’ve got big debuts from Pearl Jam and Opeth, big second week drops from a number of artists (Anthrax, Dream Theater and more) that still have pretty big sales numbers, and a look at some albums that came out earlier this year (Black Dahlia Murder, All Shall Perish, more).

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My own fragile sense of mortality means that I’m still adjusting to the fact that the original bands from the New Wave of American Heavy Metal — commonly mislabeled as “metalcore” — are now hovering somewhere around their tenth year of existence. As I Lay Dying are the latest band to hit the one decade mark, and while I can’t say I was one of the cool kids who has known about them since the release of Beneath the Encasing of Ashes, I do remember when I first heard Frail Words Collapse, and it really seems like it was just last week.

But enough about my own neurosis. The story here is As I Lay Dying’s tenth anniversary, which they’ll celebrate by releasing an album entitled Decas. Mercifully, it’s not just a lame greatest hits collection — instead, it will feature three new songs, covers of classics by Slayer, Judas Priest, and Descendents, and remixes of old AILD tunes by the likes of The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Ben Weinman, Big Chocolate, and Kelly “Carnage” Cairns. You can check out the first new tune, “Paralyzed,” below. It’s equal parts heavy and catchy, which is to say, it’s an As I Lay Dying song, and a good reminder of why the band grew to be so popular in the first place.

Decas will come out November 8 on Metal Blade, and you can already pre-order it here. And if that isn’t enough to give you your As I Lay Dying fix, the band will continue the celebration of their birthday with the ”A Decade of Destruction,” which starts at the end of November and will feature support from Of Mice & Men, The Ghost Inside, Iwrestledabearonce, and, maybe best of all, Sylosis, who I personally am absolutely dying (no pun intended) to see. Here are dates, courtesy of AP:

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Last week we focused on the complete inertia of modern rock radio over the past 10 years, as manifested in the top ten selling records of the week. Rest assured, all ten of those releases are still selling well… no need to re-hash them in this space again. Instead let’s look at newer records, including debuts from All Shall Perish, Wirestledabearonce, Jamey Jasta’s solo effort and more.

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Well, this is a strange week. On the one hand, we have some great stuff coming out, including new music from Big Business and Iwrestledabearonce, as well as World Under Blood’s first record, All Shall Perish’s new one and the solo effort from Jamey Jasta. We also have some complete garbage piles from faceless, nameless bands such as As Hell Retreats. Enjoy!

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I’ll keep this brief, ’cause we’ve written about all of these releases at length before. But in case you’re interested (and you probably should be):

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Not only does the title “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly” make me laugh every time I see it, and not only have I been saying it people for most of the summer (seriously), but it also happens to be my favorite song on Iwrestledabearonce’s new album, Ruining it for Everybody. And now it’s streaming right here!

The first half of the song is typically whacky IWABO stuff, but it’s the second half of the song, when it slows down and becomes really epic, that gets me. And then, at the end — A CHOIR! GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH! And according to an interview with guitarist Stephen Bradley that accompanies the track debut, the song is “all about organized religion and questioning things as opposed to following them blindly,” which I did not previously realize. So now that choir takes on extra meaning/hilarity, and feels like more than just something random the band did ’cause it sounds cool.

Check out “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly” here. Ruining it for Everybody comes out July 26 on Century Media.

-AR

Remember those bizarre Iwrestledabearonce video clips we posted yesterday? Turns out they were actually teasers for a new music video for the song “You Know That Ain’t Them Dogs’ Real Voice,” from IWABO’s forthcoming album Ruining It For Everybody (July 26th, Century Media).

I can’t take it anymore! Since Axl’s away this week and Pappa Vince is running the show, it’s my turn to tell you what I think of this band and this song: boring. They’re nothing to really get worked up about or direct tons of vitriol towards, they’re just… mediocre, interchangeable with a million other bands. This song could’ve been sent to us by any unsigned band and I probably would’ve shut it off after the first deathcore chugga chugga and seemingly “random” guitar squibbity-boop. And no, they didn’t do it first. I appreciate when bands incorporate oddball influences and random mindfuckery into their music, but whenever IWABO do so it seems completely deliberate, forced and see-through. It reeks of “hey, LOOK at what I’m doing NOW!” instead of just going on and doing it. I know Axl would disagree, but MetalSucks is a democracy and everyone’s entitled to their own opinion; that’s what makes us go, yin and yang.

In any case, the video features guest appearances by members of Winds Of Plague, In Fear And Faith, As Blood Runs Black and I Set My Friends On Fire… so, uh… yeah, that’s not really helping its cause much. The idea for the music video is fun — the band members and a drunken clown doing stupid shit at a mock children’s backyward birthday party — except that the execution is as boring as the song; nothing interesting happens the entire time. On this point I’m pretty sure that even Sir Axl “Music Video King” Rosenberg would agree.

Watch the video below, courtesy of Artist Direct.

-VN

Axl is away this week. Can you believe that old coot finally took a vacation? The last real vacation he took was when we went to the U.K.’s Download Festival together in 2006 — that’s five years ago, people, before this site even existed — while I’ve vacationed to Egypt, Amsterdam, Paris, Alaska, and all over these good old lower 48 United States. The man works hard and he deserves a break! Hopefully as I type this he’s already smoked his first joint of the day and is sitting lakeside with a good book, a frosty beer and maybe a fishing pole. Although the thought of what Axl would do with a fish once he actually brings it in is somewhat amusing.

While Axl is really the resident MS Iwrestledabearonce superfan (they annoy me), Axl did me a solid by posting the new Dream Theater song while I was away so I’m gonna do him the same by posting these IWABO teaser clips ’cause we’re chummy and besties like that. They seem to fit in with the whole Ruining It For Everybody theme and are actually somewhat clever and amusing, kinda like that State skit where Michael Showalter and Ken Marino crash a 5-year old’s birthday party.

Watch the first clip below and the other two after the jump. Ruining it For Everybody drops July 26th on Century Media, and you can stream the album track “Karate Nipples” right here on MS.

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After debuting the song “Karate Nipples” right here on MetalSucks last month, Iwrestledabearonce — possibly the most popular allegedly unpopular band in metal today — have unveiled another new song on their Facebook page. This one is called “Next Visible Delicious,” and it’s actually the opening track from the band’s forthcoming release, Ruining it for Everybody.

And… I don’t know what else to say. Sorry. Don’t mean to be lazy. But it seems like most of you have made up your mind about IWABO already. So some of us will be over on one side of the room, rockin’ out to this song and having fun, and the rest of you will be on the other side room, quietly and almost imperceptibly bobbing your heads along with Yog Sogolgoth or some band like that. And a percentage of the Yog Sogolgoth crowd will probably be secretly wishing they could be on the IWABO side of the room, but they’re too scared to walk over for fear of what their pal in the Necrobluhdist shirt will say about them. So it’s really just a sad situation over on the Yog Sogolgoth side of the room.

Shrug. Your loss.

Ruining it for Everybody comes out July 26 on Century Media. The band hasn’t even released the best material from the album yet.

-AR

Iwrestledabearonce have released the album art for their forthcoming Ruining it for Everybody, and… Yep. That is pretty much a perfect visual representation of the music on the record. Between that photo and the title, you can’t accuse the band of failing to warn listeners that this ain’t gonna be a Burzum album.

Ruining it for Everybody comes out July 26 on Century Media; we’re still streaming a new song from the album, “Karate Nipples,” right here. The album also features  a song called “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly,” a phrase I have said to at least three women in the past four days.

-AR

“Ooh no!”

“Macho Man” Randy Savage has perished. My father and I were actually at his first wedding, which is to say, we were at Summer Slam ’91. Vince and I are so bummed right now… I don’t think I can even go outside. I need to curl up with YouTube and remember a time when the “Macho Man” really did seem invincible.

We’ll never forget you, Mr. Savage.

Maybe this will cheer you up?

• We lied and said that Iwrestledabearonce were becoming a black metal band. Then, depending on your perspective, we either made it better or made it worse by debuting a new track from the band.
• We also debuted a stretched-out version of Hammerfall’s “Hearts on Fire.”
• Our list of the The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists continued.
• We spoke to Max Cavalera from Cavalera Conspiracy and Soulfly, Dean Herrera and Henry Selva from The Human Abstract, and the dudes from Noisear.
• We enjoyed a series of exclusive tour blogs from both The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley and Woods of Ypres’ Shane Madden.
• We gushed over Anaal Nathrakh’s Passion.
• We wondered why elitists find some deathcore bands acceptable and others unacceptable.
• We declared metal the winner in the war on grunge.
• We expressed our enthusiasm for Victory Records’ latest sign, Design the Skyline.
• We gave you a detailed analysis of the lyrics for the new Limp Bizkit single.
• We declared drinking to be for pussies.

Next week crack the top ten of our ongoing guitarists list, and, at least to the best of my knowledge, do not aid any bands in playing a prank on the public. And hopefully no one else we liked better than Fred Durst dies.

-AR

Earlier this week, we revealed that Iwrestledabearonce are changing genres to black metal, and promised that we’d unveil their debut as a BM band this week. Well, here it is — and it’s good to see that the band’s new, grim image hasn’t dampened their sense of humor too much. The track is called “Karate Nipples,” and it’s the first song off their all-new, all-black metal release, Ruining it for Everybody, out Tuesday, July 26 on Century Media.

Well I mean come ON, you didn’t really think they were turning into a black metal band, did you?

No no no. This was just IWABO and MetalSucks being the merry pranksters we are! Ruining it for Everybody features no actual black metal. Sorry, Emperor fans.

What it does contain is eleven new schizophrenic, experimental, ADHD tracks that are sure to piss off the humorless, elitist tight asses of the world — in other words, just the kind of shit we’ve come to expect and love from IWABO. In fact, this album is like It’s All Happening on angel dust — everything about it is more “ier.” The grindy sections are even nastier than they were before, and the not-so-grindy sections (for lack of a better phrase) are even more danceable, super-catchy, and further steeped in electronica. In this regard, “Karate Nipples” is exemplary of the whole album — contrast the section starting around the :41 second mark, which I could seriously picture all the girls who hold Sarah Jessica Parker as their idol bopping up and down, with the section that immediately follows it, which is pretty much just a piece of broken glass jabbed right up your fucking urethra. The approach isn’t that different from Happening, but the extremity of the extremism sure is.

Like we said, Ruining it for Everybody — which is a great fucking title, given the band’s relationship with the haters – comes out July 26 on Century Media. Get stoked. The band will also be the reason to go to this summer’s All Stars Tour — get dates here.

-AR

The answers you guys have sent in for last week’s Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest have been hilarious, and not just because some of you thought the answer was Warg, War, or Swarm. Here are a few sample responses I’d like to share with you:

“Okay so this looks like IWABO. Alternative logo? Completely wrong answer? WTF?”
-Andrew Hardman

“Iwrestledabearonce went black metal? WTF.”
-Jonathan Voynar

“It’s I Wrestled a Bear Once’s new black metal logo.”
-Andrew Robbins

“BLACK METAL JUST GOT GAY.”
-Kuranes

Well, guess what? The answer WAS Iwrestledabearonce. And they are, in fact, a black metal band now.

Yep. IWABO are completely changing their sound.

Don’t believe me? Check out this new band pic by Jeremy Saffer:

Here’s a statement from guitarist Steven Bradley regarding the decision to abandon the band’s old sound:

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ROTFLOL at the name “AllStars Tour.” HAHAHAHAA hahahaha! I mean, wow. As Metal Insider‘s Zach Shaw states, “I’d look at this tour as more of a farm league tour. It’s not like the majority of the tour is ready to be called up to the majors just yet…” Baaahahaha

Whew. Anyway.

Exactly one band on this tour is worth seeing (After the Burial, who oughtta inspire immediate ball-hair growth amongst the audience’s 12-year old boys). In the contest of any ordinary tour I wouldn’t be that interested in Born of Osiris, but surrounded by such suckitude I guess I’ll give them a mulligan here for “bands worth seeing.” I know Axl would heartily endorse Iwrestledabearonce (me, not so much, but we can still be friends), so let’s just say that together Born of Osiris + IWABO = 1 band worth seeing. But the rest of this lineup? Holy dick on a cake, I wouldn’t piss on this lineup if it was on fire. On the bright side, at least they’re all in one place; none of these bands will be polluting otherwise solid lineups between the dates of July 22nd and August 22nd.

-VN

Below is fan-filmed footage of “The Next Visible Delicious,” a new song from the most critically-lauded band of their generation, Iwrestledabearonce. The A/V quality of the video is right in the pooper, but it sounds like something everyone but me will hate, despite the fact that if I told them it was new Genghis Tron, they’d get so excited as to break their necks trying to suck their own cocks.

IWABO’s new album should be out sometime this year on Century.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

This week’s query was suggested by reader Yevgeniy Reznichenko:

IS ELITISM IN METAL A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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After listening to Psycho’s female blowtorch, Penny Torture, and Ava Inferi’s haunting distaff elemental, Carmen Susana Simões, I realized it’s time we just chill and admit that women are all-around better at this metal-singing thing.

Is this mad exaggeration? It feels like that when I’m away from an MPEG player, but then I listen to those two radically different bands, to Psycho’s primal-scream old school death or Ava Inferi’s doomed-out, gothy whatsit, and it feels I’m not over-reaching, I’m underselling.

And it’s not just two superior releases (Ava Inferi’s Onyx and Psycho’s Pain Addict Pigs). It’s just become impossible to ignore the fact that females are not only doing equal or better work in the same genre jobs as male counterparts, they’re also making metal records that go places no male on Earth — none, nada, zip-ol-lina — could go. That 2011’s best metal so far — Subrosa’s No Help for the Mighty Ones — is an almost all-femme effort of relentless pan-genre awesomeness only adds arsenic and new lace to my argumentative cake.

All of which may have the reader thinking, “You do realize, you silly person, that you’ve just written off the work of one half the human race.”

To which I say, “Yeah, well, I guess I’m pimping a little irony here, since that’s business as usual with women and the metal press. But irony aside, please bear with me.”

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Photo by Jeremy Saffer

So despite the predictions of naysayers, Iwrestledabearonce are still going strong — in fact, they’re in the studio making a new album right now. They’re self-producing this time, with the help of Ryan Boesch, the dude who produced their last album, It’s All Happening (he’ll also mix this latest effort), and since they’re hitting the road with a bunch of bands I don’t care about in March, we can assume the record will be done by then.

And jjjjjussssstttt in case that news doesn’t really grind your gears, the band has also launched a Tumblr page where fans — or haters, as the case may be — can follow IWABO’s progress and even ask questions. Some deets thus far revealed: the album will probably have ten songs, they have “a fucking insane summer tour” lined up but it’s NOT Warped, and they’re recording a cover of a song that originally had “no screaming/heavy parts” until the band added “some crazy shit to it,” but said won’t appear on the record — “it’s for somethin [sic] else.”

So maybe now instead of sending me death threats for supporting these dudes (and lady), you can just go to said Tumblr page and ask them mean questions, like “Why did you make metal gay?”, “What’s it like to be so gay?”, and “Don’t you think I’m clever for calling you ‘gay’?”

More info on the new album as we get it…

-AR

So as you’re no doubt aware, Halloween is on Sunday, and as you’re hopefully aware, we’re holding a “Heavy Metal Halloween” contest with SPV. The deadline was announced as being on midnight on Halloween, the logic being that people would snap their photos before they went our partying; but Vince wisely pointed out that people might not get to upload those photos right away. So now we’re extending the deadline to midnight on November 1. Hope that helps! If you need a refresher on the rules, go here.

Here’s what else happened this week:

• We debuted a new music video by Nile.
• We also debuted new music by Havok, White Arms of Athena, and Shred Sean and Allan Tecchio.
• Daath’s Eyal Levi talked about trust issues while The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks talked about football.
• We spoke to J. Randall from Agoraphobic Nosebleed and our old pal Eyal from Daath.
• We checked out the latest release from Kylesa, and a new book by the Cro-Mags’ John Joseph.
• We went on a “Reader’s Choice” local scene binge.
• We prayed for the end of karate mosh pits.
• We watched Abigail Williams lob a dildo at Iwrestledabearonce.
• We defended Phil Labonte’s angelic singing voice.
• Sergeant D. taught you about bands you would have hated/ignored in ’95.

And that’s all she wrote this week. Don’t forget that our own Gary Suarez is playing in a Jesus Lizard cover band on Sunday night. Swing by if you can!

-AR

Worlds collided this past Friday in Austin, TX, as two distinctly different types of metal tours converged upon the famous Emo’s; Immolation, Vader, Abigail Williams and others at the indoor stage and the Iwrestledabearonce-headlined Ghostbustour on the bigger, outdoor stage. Since no genre is quite as petty and immature as metal when it comes to infighting and childish turf wars [ok, maybe hip-hop is worse], there was instant beef between the death metal kids and the swoopy-haired scene kids in a battle for the privilege of being the biggest losers, culminating with a giant dildo being lobbed on stage by one band during another’s set [video after the jump!!]

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