MetalSucks

Every now and then, something happens to make me feel like there really is some justice in the world.

So while it looks Limp Bizkit are going right back to being the mega-stars they never deserved to be in the first place, at least Creed – possibly one of the most worthless musical acts, like, ever – aren’t doing so hot.

From a recent news report on the band’s recent concert in Birmingham, Alabama:

Click to read more…

Last week, fat drunk fuck/on-again-off-again Warrant “vocalist” Jani Lane was arrested on a DUI charge; now The Detroit News is reporting that he owes $121,024 (geez that’s a precise number) in federal income taxes.

(The article’s author, Robert Snell, even makes a joke about Warrant’s debut album was called Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich. Oh, Robert, you scamp!)

All I can really say to this is: seriously, dude? I know that times are tough all around and Warrant ain’t the megastars they used to be, but come ON. You live on a liquid diet. Where is all the money going? And don’t try to tell me that this didn’t help pay the bills at all:

Even if all Arby’s paid you for the use of your masterpiece was a lifetime supply of Bacon Cheddar RoastBurgers – which, by all appearances, may very well be the case – then you’d still be saving cash.

Man. Some people just don’t know when they have it good.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

I have a feeling it’s gonna be a slow day here at MetalSucks. I’m pretty hungover and I was maybe 1/16th as drunk last night as Vince was – the last time I saw him, standing upright was becoming a challenge.

So.

Bring Back Glam posted this amusing cover of the Bloodhound Gang’s “Dear Chasey Lane,” which swaps out the lyrics about the titular porn star in favor of an ode to Warrant’s on again/off again vocalist. Even if you hate hair metal, I think it’d be hard not to get a kick out of this.

-AR

Yes, you read that headline correctly: There will be a third season of Rock of Love, and it will star the Bon Jovi guitarist in place of the Poison vocalist.

I somehow find this news troubling; I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m almost certainly gonna watch, but I had no idea that Sambora was as big a scumbag as Michaels. Isn’t this really the kind of thing more fit for, I dunno, like a Vince Neil or a Kip Winger or at least a Jani Lane? I mean, wasn’t Sambora married to Heather Locklear not that long ago? Wasn’t he just shtupping Denise Richards like a year ago? Doesn’t he already get all the tabloid attention he can handle? Or has the weight of living in Jon Bon’s shadow all these years really just proven to be too much for him?

No word on when this car wreck will film/air, but here’s hoping it will be on VH1 in time for the TV doldrums of summer.

-AR

UPDATE: Idolator says that VH1 says that this isn’t true. So there’s still hope for Jani Lane after all!!!