…and no MetalSucks reader ever got an erection again.

It just thirteen months ago that Lita Ford loved ex-Nitro vocalist Jim “The Best A Man Can Get” Gillette so much that she was doing endless amounts of tweeting about how hot he was in the sack.

But while recently promoting her new album, She Don’t Look a Day Over Menopause, Ford revealed that she and Gillette are “going through a divorce right now, and it’s a really ugly divorce.” Say it ain’t so! If there’s no hope for the Lita and the guy she once said “literally fucks me right through the bed,” then it really is true what they say, and romance is dead.

I’m sad so sad, you guys. I might be too depressed to finish out the day. I think I have to go to my room and eat chocolates and watch Sex and the City. Anyone feel like making me an appletini?

Lita and Jim, this one’s for you…

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Oh man this is so great I don’t even know where to start!!

MS Maniac and self-appointed Minister of Hair Steve Stamopoulos emailed us over the weekend with some amazing news; after a search that lasted months (years?) he’d finally found live footage of Nitro on YouTube, the veritable video holy grail of ’80s hair metal excess. Jon Becker’s Jim Gillette tribute scream and the third Vinnie Vincent Invasion album excepted, I can’t think of anything else this exciting ever to come through our inboxes; the MS Mansion Monkeys are going completely apeshit (will they shut up already???) for chrissakes.

The background vocals are hilariously and obviously tracked (no mics???), but that’s pure, unadulterated Jim Glilette up front… and yeah, dude backs up that glass-shattering shtick, wouldn’t ya say? Sadly Michael Angelo isn’t rockin’ his double-neck (or, gasp! — quad-neck) in this one, but we’re sure it’s backstage somewhere. No matter, as he makes up for it with some ridiculously over-the-top shred and his so-stupid-it’s-awesome “over under” technique which is about as useful as a breakdown in a Bury Your Dead song. And possibly most hysterically of all… no one is there to see them.

One more vid of awesomeness/hilarity after the jump…

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1. Endure a political lecture from Blackie Lawless.
2. Take an I.Q. exam designed by Korn fans.
3. Pose for a Paul Stanley-painted portrait of my taint for his next exhibit.
4. Try to teach my dog to play The Binary Code’s “Suspension of Disbelief” on the ukulele.
5. Watch Lita Ford and Jim Gillette fuck, then Tweet about it.
6. Help produce British Steel Drums: The World’s Most Irritating Tribute to Judas Priest.
7. Let Marilyn Manson spit in my mouth.
8. Let the dude from Weedeater clean his gun while it’s aimed directly at my face.
9. Tie Billy Milano to my penis and toss him over the side of a roof.
10. Pretend to be a solicitor, call the Dio residence, and ask if Ronnie is available.

So stop e-mailing us about it.

-AR

Before I begin telling you this story, I need to give you some background.

Lita Ford is married to Jim Gillette, a.k.a. “that dude from Nitro who could supposedly break glass with his vocals.”

Lita used to look like this:

And Jim used to look like this:

And now they look like this:

With me so far? M’kay, good.

So. Recently this married couple decided to make love (burrr… even writing that phrase ironically gives me douche chills). That’s fine. That’s their right. I hope all married couples enjoy sex well into old age.

But I also hope most of them don’t tweet vivid descriptions of what ensued, as Lita Ford apparently did. Read her tweets after the jump, courtesy Sleaze Roxx:

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Our friend and 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far contributor Carlos Ramirez of Noisecreep has compiled yet another useless list so you all can argue, flame, and make snap-judgments on each others’ lifestyles and values (aka another day in the MetalSucks Haterade Mafia) based on musical tastes. Today’s list du-jour harks back to a time when high-pitched singers were all the rage and picks the best of that era. Though the list doesn’t actually bother to classify the top ten high-pitched singers of all-time in order, the fact that OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE _____ ISN’T ON THIS LIST should be plenty for ya’ll to get all hot and bothered about. If you ask us, Nitro’s Jim Gillette’s inclusion on this list is all that matters.

-VN

By popular demand — inspired by the one, the only, Jon Becker — our MetalSucks tribute to ex-Nitro singer Jim Gillette, he of the wine-glass shattering vocal high notes. We’ve trawled the bowels of YouTube to come up with the best home-filmed Jim Gillette imitations out there and we’ve compiled them into one handy-dandy post. What follows is Exhibit A in Internet awesomeness.

First, the original, Jim Gillette. After the jump… his devotees.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/bH5gmbugmxM" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

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