You would have to be on dope to like Slaves on Dope. I mean, the band has a song called “No More Faith,” for fuck’s sake. NO MORE FUCKING FAITH. Jim Martin should bend them over and grow pumpkins out of their ass for that shit.

Anyways, this band is reuniting. I never knew they broke-up, to be honest; I just thought they were sucked into the same black hole of once-popular shit bands that a lot their peers did (see: Primer whatever the fuck they were called, E-Town Concrete, etc.). But in case you’re not familiar with their particular brand of awfulness, here they are, looking like Crazy Town and sounding like diarrhea.

-AR

With seemingly every band in the world reuniting right now, it seemed like it was only a matter of time ’til the members of Faith No More decided to tour again. Frankly, there’s just too high a possibility of making a lot of money not to do a reunion tour. I know that’s crass, but we’re all big boys and girls here at MetalSucks so let’s just be real and admit that “We thought playing together again would be fun” is not the driving reason behind most of these reunions.

But I digress.

SO. Kerrang! is reporting this rumor that FNM are, indeed, now getting back together in ’09, and that venues have even been put on hold, etc. Bassist/guy-who-gets-asked-about-being-in-FNM-more-than-anyone-else-who-isn’t Mike Patton, Billy Gould, has been tacitly denying the reunion, but in a manner which I personally find about as convincing as Pamela Anderson’s breasts.

Click to read more…

Just ask ex-Faith No More guitarist Jim Martin. Our pal Nick over at The Deciblog reminded us of a hilarious fact we had forgotten about; Jim Martin is now a champion pumpkin farmer. Reports The Deciblog:

The results from yesterday’s Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off in Half Moon Bay, California are in: Oregon farmer Thad Starr shattered the previous contest record with a 1524 lb pumpkin. Since the first place winner gets $6 per pound, Starr walked away from the event with $9144… Jim Martin, formerly of Faith No More, must be totally jealous: the highest he’s placed in the annual contest was 4th in ‘03 with a 1064 lb pumpkin. Not that he’s throwing in the towel on his alternative career anytime soon; Martin hit the leader board again this year for the “Biggest from a San Mateo County Farm Bureau Member” for his 977 lb behemoth. The pumpkin will be on view this weekend (Oct. 13 + 14) at the Half Moon Bay Art & Pumpkin Festival.

It’s good to hear that at least one former rock star hasn’t moved into producing and recording shitty bands or otherwise making a fool of himself. Seriously. Pumpkin farming is so metal.

-VN