I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Clown from Slipknot puts into making sense in interviews.

We begin today with Barn Burner’s new NSFW video, for the song “Scum of the Earth.” Barn Burner played at our CMJ showcase a couple of weeks ago and they absolutely SLAYED — in fact, it was my first time seeing them live, and they were so good that I am now a 100% bigger Barn Burner fan than I already was. And I think this is video is pretty good… not, like, the greatest thing ever made or whatever, but it’s fun and it conveys the energy of the song. Unfortunately, some people are really offended by it, apparently because they are strongly opposed to the way that condiments were haphazardly utilized in order to film the video. I mean, there are  starving children in Africa who, like, don’t even have any maple syrup or ketchup or mustard, and guitarist/vocalist K. Keaglesmith just let some girl pour it all over him? What a wasteful dick!

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Photo by Clay Patrick McBride

Sebastian Bach’s new record is surprising and unsurprising. That is, no one who has witnessed the former Skid Row singer’s recent playdates with members of Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides could be shocked by Kicking And Screaming‘s slick, modern vibe. Plus, a clue was provided by each of Bach’s personnel moves, be it a 21-year old guitar prodigy, or a producer of tight radio rockers (Shinedown, Saliva) and lovable old guys (Iommi, David Lee Roth). And duh it’s 2011: For mainstream rock, the choice is big production or small potential. And there is nothing small about Sebastian Bach.

Anyway, those were my thoughts during the opening notes of Kicking And Screaming. But the album’s surprise element mounted with each song: He pulled it off! Yes, Bach is great at bright, pop-punkish hard rock throughout the totally lovable Kicking. Eventually it dawned on me that Bach might’ve been supplementing — not discarding — his OG fans via cavorting with scenebros, dissing of today’s Skid Row, and tabloid-friendly barroom antics. Via producer, boy wonder axeman, and his own snarling edge, his aim was a collection of jamz for both sensibilities and their overlap. Via classic Bach thrust and charm, Kicking is a Skid Row fan’s newest friend.

Last week, I spoke with Baz about Kicking And Screaming‘s creative team, singing high, being high, Steven Adler, John 5, Phil Varone, and tons more in an epic MetalSucks interview that crescendos from chill (excited new album chatter) to silly (an impromptu stoner giggle party) to rampage (invective against the Skid Row he never bargained for). Read and laugh!

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Sebastian Bach has announced a September 27 release date for his new album, Kicking & Screaming. The press release makes no mention of any collaborations with Jamey Jasta or John 5, which would have been the reasons to at least be curious about this record, especially after the awfulness that Bach’s last outing, Angel Down. So… oh well.

But the press release did include a link to the below promo photo, by Gabriel Goldberg, and it might be the most inadvertently hilarious promo photo ever for a professional musician of whom you’ve actually heard. I can’t believe that anyone, let alone what was probably a team of people, thought it was a good idea to release a photo where Baz looks like he’s just about to start weeping. Because nothing screams “ROCK!” like a depressed blonde man with too much make-up on.

Vince is away on vacation, so there won’t be any of his patented photo caption contests for awhile. But if anyone can come up with a caption for this that actually makes me laugh, I will send them a goody bag of assorted whatever-the-fuck we have lying around.

So have at it…

-AR

I don’t have a whole ton to say about either of these line-up comings and goings, but I do have a little to say, so I’ll just say that:

• I.C.S. Vortex has re-joined Borknagar. That honestly doesn’t mean much to me because I never listened to much Borknagar. Not ’cause they’re bad, but just because I can’t say “Borknagar” without laughing. It sounds like a tr00 Norwegians euphemism for sex. “Dude, did you borknagar Bodil last night?” But I assume this is good news because Vortex was in Arcturus, and because Dimmu Borgir got a serious case of the sucks after they sacked him, which could be just a coincidence but then Arcturus. Anyways, Vortex says he’s “chuffed” to be back in the band, which means oh my god this dude is just an expert in silly words.
• Rob Zombie has hired Ginger Fish as his new drummer, which means his four-piece band now contains two former employees of Marilyn Manson. (The other being John 5, duh.) There are obviously some similarities in Zombie and Manson’s music, and they’re both technically “shock rockers,” and they were both cool in 1998, so I guess this makes sense. Mr. Fish did not mention whether or not he was chuffed to be in the band, but we hear that he did borknagar his brains out in celebration of the news, so I think we can safely assume there’s some chuffage going on.

-AR

With the occasional exception, guitar solo albums are basically ear porn. I mean, a feature film depends on things like narrative coherence and visual aesthetics, but porn consists merely of all-star fuck machines slamming junk. So the comparison to guitar mega-wankery is obvious: To dispense with the frills (lyrics, vocals) and just get to the acrobatics magnifies one aspect of music to veiny, cartoonish proportions. Shit, have you ever made it to the end of a guitar album? Have you ever sat down with some popcorn and enjoyed 50 straight minutes of dimly-lit shag videos? For non-weirdos, each answer probably is a firm no.

That’s why it’s so fucknuts when a shred album works. But it has happened. Cuz to some guitar records, there’s a message despite the absence of a vocalist; others succeed by sheer momentum and irresistible, awe-striking displays of skill; and at least one guitar instrumental album is a staggering work of narrative art every bit as epic as the greatest conventional rock record. Great guitar albums are hard to find; according to our own analogy above, the creation of one is as unlikely as an Oscar win for All Tit-Fucking Vol. 8. But defying the odds and deserving a spot in every music library are the following awesome axgasms:

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Rob Zombie’s Hellbilly Deluxe 2 just came out in February, but daddy needs a new cowboy hat, so Roadrunner is doing a super-duper-special edition re-release of the album on September 28. It’s not even an eight month turnaround; I don’t know if that’s a record or it just feels even faster than usual.

As is pretty much standard with these re-releases, there will be new songs included; not standard, though, is that those new songs will be interspersed throughout the old ones — as opposed to just putting them all after whatever the last song used to be, or on their own disc, or whatever — which makes HB2 George Lucas Style almost a new album, creatively if not actually. By which I mean, I’ve met bands that are ridiculously perfectionistic when it comes to figuring out their sequencing — sequencing means something, and a lot of thought goes into the flow of the record. Adding new material will, presumably, alter that flow in some regard.

Either that, or I just spent more time thinking about the sequencing of Hellbilly Deluxe 2 than Rob Zombie did.

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I really loved The Devil’s Rejects, but at this point, I’m willing to accept that it was a fluke, and that Rob Zombie is not a very talented film director. House of 1,000 Corpses was fun, but I haven’t felt the need to re-watch it since I saw it in theaters, and while I thought that Zombie’s Halloween was the worst thing ever, that’s only because I had not yet seen his Halloween II, which really might be the worst thing ever. And some people said that his straight-to-DVD animated flick, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, was pretty good, but I turned it off after about fifteen minutes. I think if I was thirteen I would have thought it was the tits, but I’m not so I didn’t.

It’s gotten to the point where the best thing about any Zombie flick is the inevitable shot of some part of Sheri Moon Zombie’s naked anatomy. Because Rob Zombie has a hot wife, and he wants you to know that he has a hot wife. Also, because a quick look at Sheri’s resumé tells me that she’s only ever worked on two projects that her husband wasn’t directly involved in: a Tobe Hooper movie I’ve never even heard of (Holy shit, did Tobe Hooper wipe out or what?), and appearing as a Nurse on an episode of Californication (a not very good show which is apparently written by metal fans who probably knew who Sheri was).

So now Zombie has released a new video for the song “Mars Needs Women,” a song which just SCREAMS for a naked chick painted red, and where the fuck is Sheri? NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Sheesh. I’m glad Rob’s band is basically a supergroup now, but you think I wanna look at Joey Jordison’s mask instead of your wife’s hot bod? Puh-leeze. Get it together, Rob!!!

-AR

[via Noisecreep]

There are two reasons that a John 5 interview could last for days. The first is that in just more than a decade, he’s already played guitar for David Lee Roth, Rob Halford, Marilyn Manson, and now Rob Zombie, none of whom are uninteresting conversation topics. And if that got old, he could discuss what it’s like contributing songs to Filter, Garbage, Avril Lavigne, Meat Loaf, Paul Stanley, Lynyrd Skynrd, and the friggin’ Scorpions. If he still has a voice, you could next ask him about his somewhat accidental/totally awesome solo career.

The second reason is that John 5 (né John Lowery) is a total music guy. And it’s totally effortless to talk music with total music guys. You could bump into him before a show and end up blowing off the headliner just to continue a breathless discussion of Van Halen at the bar next door. I can also imagine the results if I stopped at the guitar shop on my lunch hour to find John 5 lounging against an amp: We’d innocently start comparing Rob Zombie’s band to Ozzy’s and before you know it, it’d be sundown and I would be sneaking back into the office through a window. A bus ride to the beach would be disastrous ‘cause we’d undoubtedly miss our stop by miles while merrily disputing the merits of KISS. And so on.

Sadly for me but mercifully our transcribers, my talk with John 5 last week lasted but twenty minutes. He used the word “love” a lot to genially discuss his past and present collaborators, his fifth solo album The Art of Malice (get it May 11), this year’s Mayhem tour, and the Ozzy situation last summer. After that, we just talked about Van Halen a bunch – and might’ve gone on all day. But apparently he has things to do. About a million things.

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Poor Joey Jordison must get bored when he’s not busy with Slipknot; besides Corey Taylor and Clown, he’s easily the most visible member of the band, even when they’re on hiatus (as they are right now). This is extra-amazing when you consider the fact that, unlike Taylor or Clown, he doesn’t really have a side-project: the one he started, Murderdolls, released one album in 2002, did a whole bunch of touring behind it, and then promptly broke-up. (MD vocalist Wednesday 13 recently hinted at a possible Murderdolls reunion, but that doesn’t actually seem to be happening.) But Jordison constantly manages to stay in the spotlight, be it through producing gigs (3 Inches of Blood’s Fire Up the Blades) or, more often, guest spots with other well-known bands: he recorded some drums for Otep’s House of Secrets (as though Otep didn’t sound enough like Slipknot already), toured with Ministry, and did a few tour dates with Satyricon before a couple of their members got arrested on a kiddie-sex charge and that trek was canceled.

And now it’s been announced that Jordison will spend the spring and summer playing for Rob Zombie.

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Of all the track debuts that floated into my inbox yesterday I was definitely NOT expecting the one by Rob Zombie / ex-Marilyn Manson guitarist John 5 to impress in any way, shape or form. But leave it up to MS Master Josh Kidd to insist we listen to John 5′s new track “The Nightmare Unravels,” from his forthcoming solo album The Art of Malice, which you can stream below [thanks: Bmouth].

Turns out the dude can absolutely rip on the guitar — I literally had no idea. I assumed that because he’s spent the better part of his career playing simple riffs in goth and sleaze rock bands that that’s all he was capable of; shame on me. “The Nightmare Unravels” is a shred-sterpiece that’s something I’d expect to hear on the new Levi / Werstler album or anything else on the Magna Carta roster. I feel like an even bigger douche because apparently John 5 played with David Lee Roth, so dude’s obviously got chops.

I guess now would be a good time for me to go and catch up on John 5′s FOUR previous solo albums before the new one comes out this Spring.

-VN

Like watch the Rob Zombie-directed episode of CSI: Miami so that I could make fun of it today. But I got distracted by the pile of new shit that arrived at the Mansion steps yesterday, and spent my evening listening to new music – in other words, I actually did something worthwhile.

Luckily CBS is streaming the episode, so I can watch it at my convenience and make fun of it later! Three cheers for technology! And Kubrick thought we’d have commercial space travel by now. What a dope!

The episode isn’t embeddable but you can get to it by clicking on the below screen shot of John 5 in a comedia dell’arte mask. Yep, Zombie’s band is apparently in the episode, playing one of his new songs. And you thought he was directing a CSI episode for the artistic challenge.

Meanwhile, Metal Insider tells me that last night’s episode of Law & Order was a ripped-from-the-headlines story a Juggalo killing his family; the real-life Juggalos apparently have their panties in a twist about it. You can read more about the episode at MI… there doesn’t seem to be a full stream available at NBC as of yet.

-AR

Not that the video for “Sick Bubblegum,” the new Rob Zombie song, is startlingly original or great or anything. Y’know, Sherri Moon Zombie is in it. So that’s a real plot twist.

But I actually kinda like the song. It’s a Rob Zombie song. Write a catchy riff that doesn’t sound that different from your other catchy riffs, stick in an anthemic chorus, and repeat for four to five minutes. It’s not rocket science. But I’ll take this over most of the young pop metal bands making waves right now. And if doing this affords John 5 the opportunity to make another solo album, well, all the better.

“Sick Bubblegum” will be on the very poorly titled Hellbilly Deluxe 2, which is out February 2 on Roadrunner’s Redneck Division Loud & Proud imprint.

-AR

Just about a year ago I took it upon myself to offer Ozzy Osbourne five tips to record a good album again. And my very first tip?

FIRE ZAKK WYLDE. I’ve made this suggestion before, and I know it’s a controversial one; Zakk is, undeniably, the best guitar player Ozzy has worked with since Randy Rhodes’ untimely passing. And at his best, Zakk is a brilliant, brilliant guitar player. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, Zakk seems to have decided that he needs to release every semi-coherent riff that pops into his beer-soaked brain. If Zakk can’t or isn’t willing to work his ass off like he was 19 again, step up to the plate, and knock one out of the park, it’s time to explore other options. Ozzy could comb the known world looking for the next Zakk Wylde – lest we forget, Zakk was just some unknown teenager when Ozzy originally discovered him – or, if that’s too risky, I’m sure there’s only about 18 trillion famous axe masters (How about Jerry Cantrell? Pepper Keenan? Ozzy’s already got one former member of Faith No More in his ranks – maybe he can steal Jim Martin away from his pumpkin farm? I know Ozzy almost hired Buckethead a few years back) who would be willing to give the job their best shot.

And, hey, lookit that! Ozzy has revealed to Classic Rock magazine that he is, indeed, parting ways with Wylde.

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More than a year ago, I wondered aloud: “Say, what the fuck did ever ever happen to Chuck Mosley?” It had been so long since anyone heard from the former Faith No More singer that I even misspelled the dude’s name, and not a single one of you left a snarky comment correcting me.

Well, now it seems that Mosley has a solo album, Will Rap Over Hard Rock for Food, coming out August 11, presumably being released to capitalize on all the ink the reunited, Mosley-less FNM are getting. And while I appreciate Mosley having a sense of humor about his lack of success in da biz in the years since he split from FNM, I’m not sure that advertising yourself as rap-rock in 2009 is the smartest way to go if the acquisition of sustenance is your goal. Unless you’re hoping people will throw eggs at you, and that you can then proceed to lick the yolk from your clothes.

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Sebastian Bach sent out this tweet a little earlier today:

working on full demo cd to send to @john5guitarist 2 c where we’re @, then write more tunes till we r ready to enter studio 4 new CD! #fb21 minutes ago from txt

Alright, so Baz’s new record will have John 5 playing songs written by Jamey Jasta? Is it possible Sebastian is working on the single fucking weirdest metal record ever made?

-AR

What the fucking fuck are these fucking Behind the Player DVDs? It seems like Blabbermouth posts a new story about them every hour on the hour. As far as I can tell, they’re just the same bullshit instructional videos that musicians have been releasing for years and that .001% of the population actually buys. Marketing-wise, I can’t tell if it’s a good idea or a terrible idea to launch the series by releasing new DVDs with Duff McKagan, Munky, Fieldy, John 5, Paul Gray, Blasko, Tommy Clufetos, Shannon Larkin, Mike Inez, Ringo Starr, Max Weinberg, The Captain and Tennille, Vanilla Ice, Tupac Shakur, Frankenstein’s Monster, Elliot Gould, Murderface, Bob Loblaw, Dick Cavett, Joey Fatone, and Rerun from Good Times all at once. But it’s happening.

In any case, we haven’t received a single press release about these DVDs here at the MetalSucks Mansion. So whomever is sending out said press releases obviously isn’t cool.

-AR

MTV.com published an interview with Richard Patrick this morning in which the Filter main-man only-man revealed more details about the upcoming fourth Filter record, Anthems for the Damned, tentatively scheduled for release in late March. Tracking was completed in about two weeks with producer Josh Abraham (Slayer, Velvet Revolver) manning the boards.

Business first; Patrick says Army of Anyone (his project with the DeLeo brothers of STP who put out a record last year) is “now on hiatus,” and that he’d love to “do more records with them in the future.” Patrick said it was playing old Filter material during live sets with Army of Anyone that convinced him that the band had to be resurrected:

“But this is not a comeback. Filter’s my legacy. It’s just like Al Jourgensen with Ministry. This is something I took very seriously, something I quit Nine Inch Nails to do, and it has allowed me so much freedom as an artist. I would never turn my back on the thing that has always been the #1 thing in my life. And the core fans that I have, they’re expecting a great record. I knew I’d have to return with the goods, and I’m absolutely convinced that that’s what I have with this record.”

Patrick has recruited an all-star cast of collaborators for this effort; Josh “I’ve played drums on every record ever” Freese, former Marilyn Manson / Rob Zombie guitarist John 5 (who co-wrote two of the album’s tracks), and… ex-Limp Bizkit/ current Black Light Burns guitarist Wes Borland???? Given, Borland was always the most intruiging member of Limp Bizkit, but what??? Maybe it was a political move to solidy Filter’s burgeoning market in Jakarta.

-VN