No, seriously — COREY AND ANSO FUCKING KILLED IT THIS WEEK while we were at the Golden Gods, didn’t they? I’m still catching up, but I’ve been getting a serious boner from reading all the shit I didn’t write this week. Some of my favorite pieces that neither Vince nor myself had anything to do with:

• Phil Anselmo’s thoughts on weed, and, oh yeah, Corey’s update on the progress of Mr. Anselmo’s book.
• This awesome interview with Hate Eternal’s Erik Rutan. (Okay this one I actually had a little to do with, but Anso did the heavy lifting.)
• Mike IX Williams from EyeHateGod/Arson Anthem/Drip/Crawlspace/Outlaw Order’s thoughts on being underground and unsigned.
• Anso’s mourning for the loss of Nevermore.
• Corey’s analysis of the Columbine massacre on its twelfth anniversary.
• Anso’s assertion that Nicko McBrain wants to fuck Lady Gaga.
• Corey’s wrangling of about a million cool metal folk to give their thoughts on weed, too.
• Anso’s decisions to let his hatred for Kiss flow.
• Corey’s coverage of K.K. Downing’s retirement from Judas Priest.
• Anso’s coverage of Dream Theater’s ongoing search for a new drummer.

Unfortunately for all of you, Vince and I are now back full-time, and you’ll be stuck with us all next week. See ya then.

-AR

Yep, 4/20 gets a real downer with the rather unexpected news that Judas Priest founding member, guitarist K.K. Downing, has quit the band.

“It is with regret that Judas Priest announce that K.K. Downing has formally retired from the band and will therefore not be joining them on their forthcoming Epitath Tour.” – Official Judas Priest press release 4/20/11.

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I’m at the point where I pretty much prefer animated movies to live-action ones. I passed up some big deal, hotshot movie that came out recently, whose name I don’t even remember, to see Rango. I’m usually a pretty good judge, too, because I knew Rango was going to be awesome ,and it was. It looks absolutely amazing, and if you’re a nerd for animation detail, the gross, crusty animals will thrill you. Not to mention the classic movie references from Chinatown to Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. It’s also damn violent for a “kids movie.” And well, I’m a movie nerd with a deep love for filmic violence. My dad didn’t have any sons, ok? He raised me to love his Fab Four; Arnold, Bruce, Sylvester, and Jean-Claude. And Dolph, on days he felt generous.

This might be odd, but I always liked to think about what various characters’ personalities would be like. Down to their music and movie taste. I especially try to pick out the metalheads, because I want to find my animated brothers and sisters in arms. It was while musing on the subject on Twitter that I found out the talented Ms. Elise over at Reign in Blonde kind of does the same thing. Apparently, all my acquaintances are online these days. She actually compiled a list of the most metal Disney characters, and with her help, I’ve expanded the list. Here are the Ten Most Likely Metalheads in Animated Movies (excluding anime and other international releases, as the author has not done enough research on the subject.)

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Ah, Valentine’s Day. Reviled by most, enjoyed by the smug, and shrugged off by the belligerently ambivalent. But while most of us couldn’t care less about this specific day in February, it’s still an annoyance that comes around every year. Kind of like the common cold.

Now, most places will have shitloads of “quirky” recommendations you can do with your special someone, even if you’re of the metalhead persuasion. You can hold sweaty hands in the privacy of your parents’ basement, pour each other some classy Motorhead wine, and share a blood pudding in the dreamy light of those church candles. It’s all very nice and sweet to be… nice and sweet.

But you know what’s better? DOING IT. With a killer soundtrack. So on this very special day, I’ve made you all a romantically inappropriate mix tape.

Picking “mood” songs is a little too obvious for my taste. I mean yeah, Faith No More’s “Stripsearch” (Actually, that might be more of a stripping song than a sexing one, but ,hmm, “Evidence” maybe? Heh, “Be Aggressive” might work for some. Either way, Patton’s voice = nudity.) and NIN’s “Closer” are both appropriate (for very different reasons), but that’s no fun. Go forth and find that special someone willing to get, get naked to these select songs. There’s a little something for everyone. St. Valentine would’ve wanted it that way.

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With an exception, my 2010 best albums could’ve been predicted months in advance. To me, last year was all about reliable, established bands and their awesome but journalistically unsexy jams. But elsewhere than my best-loved albums, 2010 had a few saucy surprises up its tattered sleeve. For one, it was shocking to find that the best melody record of the year was made by a fake band for a suckass movie; nope, did not expect to love that shit. Also, I didn’t remotely foresee announcements of Judass Priest’s final tour (bummer), Adrian Smith’s pairing with members of Sikth (wtf/awesome), the Mike Portnoy saga (over it), or the slight return of Coroner (full bonerz). Again and again, I was surprised!

But in a couple cases, my mere surprise was no longer adequate; I was forced to upgrade to astonishment. Example? Okay here’s one: It turns out that I really like Silent Civilian’s Ghost Stories, a surprisingly unshitty 2010 metalcore outing led by the surprisingly huge-gutted Jonny Santos of Spineshank. I mean, it’s metalcore that isn’t total garbage! Wild, huh?

But that shit was nothing compared to the brain-blasting shock that awaited me the late December evening that I first laid ears on Flotsam And Jetsam’s The Cold. Goddamn! Those guys haven’t made a listenable jam since the Troy Gregory-heavy 1990 gem When The Storm Comes Down and that was um two decades ago. So my low expectations were primed to be vaulted over by a good Flots album. Well, forget “good;” The Cold is awesome — like, freaking Nevermore awesome! By the second song (below), my bowtie was spinning so hard that it detached itself and beheaded my best geraniums.

-ADF

Order Flotsam And Jetsam’s The Cold here and then glue your socks on. Safety first.

So last month Judas Priest announced a farewell tour, and everyone assumed that the band were going to subsequently break-up, ’cause the word “farewell” means good-bye, so, y’know.

Apparently that’s not the case, though — Priest are just going all Beatles n’ shit. From guitarist Glenn Tipton’s official website:

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Admit it: this picture makes you SO FUCKING HAPPY.

Recently, my friend sent me a YouTube link to a Bee Gees cover group. Excuse me, tribute band. That is the proper way of addressing them, as Mark Wahlberg taught us in Rock Star. I don’t like the Bee Gees. I don’t like disco. Disco is kind of terrible. Disco blows dogs for quarters. Disco is never amazing, especially not when KISS attempt it. To say I was a little confused would be an understatement. But my friends aren’t totally clueless to what I listen to, so I gave it a shot. It turned out it was a heavy metal Bee Gees tribute band. Okay, it was a little bit awesome. Weirdly enough, it worked. I only like thin-voiced men screeching when accompanied by equally high-pitched guitars, and that’s basically what heavy metal “Stayin’ Alive,” was. I turned it off about halfway through because, well, I still have my limits, but it kind of makes you stop and go, “Huh!” Metal just makes everything sound better.

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Before we begin today’s edition of “Cinemetal Round-up,” I’d like to address a comment left by the reader who calls himself “GoingDeaf?” after the last round-up:

“I find it hard to believe that these are the BEST new videos you have at your disposal. I’m all for shitting on bad bands with bad videos, but there HAS to be something of value for you to mix in from time to time for this column. It’s more fun to be a curmudgeon, sure, but balance can be good as well.”

GoingDeaf?, I gotta tell you, if I only posted these when there was “something of value to mix in,” I’d only post two or three of these a year. I post the videos I’m sent via press releases, or see on other metal sites. I’m not sitting on good videos just for the sake of being a curmudgeon; good videos do get made, but they’re very, very few and far between. So, uh, y’know, feel free to just not read these columns. Sorry, bud.

And with that out of the way, let’s watch the crap currently passing for metal videos.

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It seems like the number of “Why did you ban me from commenting?!?” e-mails from readers has increased as of late, and the gist of those e-mails is often “Whassa matter, can’t take it when someone tells you you suck?” or whatever. And we’ve never banned anyone for disagreeing with us. We don’t give a shit if you disagree with us. We don’t agree with one another half the time — that’s part of the fun of MetalSucks.

Here’s what really happens: you use a word which is on our “no-no” list, and it gets stuck in our spam filter. Some of these words we actively do not allow on MetalSucks (e.g., slurs against minorities), and some of them just get stuck because so many actual spammers use them (e.g., “rape”). We try to be diligent about checking the spam filters and making sure none of you are getting caught in there, but sometimes we miss a few. And sometimes we ultimately don’t allow the comment onto the site (e.g., “I hate this album, this band is fucking gay” will never survive). But even then, we don’t BAN people from commenting. I think I can count on one hand the number of people we’ve banned in four years, and most of them were spammers and/or former Megadeth guitarists. So if your comment isn’t going through, consider first if you used a word we don’t allow, and if you didn’t, just shoot us a POLITE e-mail and we’ll investigage the problem ASAP. M’kay?

And on that note, here’s what we did this week:

• Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum gave us our latest Legacy Tour diary, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable worked out his black metal daddy issues, and The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks offered to write a song for any sports team that’s not from New York.
• We spoke to After the Burial’s Trent Hafdahl and American Hardcore author Steven Blush.
• We got the skinny from Darkest Hour’s Ryan Parrish about why DH and Veil of Maya got kicked off their own tour bus, and asked Jucifer’s Amber Valentine about Sean Yseult’s claim to being the only woman in metal during her tenure in White Zombie.
• We checked out the latest release from The Unraveling.
• Sergeant D. schooled us in uber-kvlt metalcore bands.
• We contemplated the worst metal albums of 2010 and the best metal songs of 2010.
• We mourned on the six year anniversary of Dimebag’s murder.
• We celebrated Ozzy Osbourne’s terrific taste in modern metal (he put Korn above Firewind).
• We had mixed feelings about the retirement of Judas Priest.
• We got excited that At the Gates are playing more shows in 2011.

Alrighty then. Next week is our last week of regular posting before we shut down for the holidays. You know what that means – YEAR END LISTS! Get ready to argue like your entire sense of self-worth depended on everyone agreeing with you all the time with no exceptions ever.

-AR

Well here’s some surprising news to start your morning: Metal Underground is reporting that Judas Priest will do one last tour, and then retire as a band.

I kind of don’t believe it, because we hear artists announce their retirement all the time, and then it doesn’t stick, either ’cause they get bored or greedy or whatever (see: Ozzy). And yet, some part of me hopes it’s true. Even if their last couple of albums have been a little lackluster, Priest live shows are still all kinds of awesome, and the band has never done anything to embarrass themselves. It would be nice to see a revered act like JP quit while they’re ahead for a change.

I don’t really know what else to say about such bittersweet news… Weigh in with your thoughts below.

-AR

The below advertisement is for software I’ve never heard of, Guitar Rig 2 (although I don’t claim to be an expert in music software). I stumbled across it quite by accident while YouTube surfing, and apparently it’s at least four years old, which makes the fact that I’ve never seen it before all the more surprising. In any case, it’s best that I don’t tell you much about it, lest I spoil the fun — so just watch.

This is so much better than that cell phone ad with Rob Halford, or that beer ad with Motorhead, or pretty much any metal-themed ad I’ve seen this year that isn’t this one. As my man Vince likes to say, A+++++++, would do business with again.

-AR

For my opening salvo, I suppose I should mention that it has been a long break between blogs. I’ve been meaning to get back to it, but this summer has been a very busy one filled with the musical composition of the new God Forbid album as well as a new project I’ve been working on, in addition to the daily pursuit of living life and getting by. I hope to contribute more frequently in the near future.

If you’ve followed my articles in the past, you may notice that I often address music history, and pertaining to this site, heavy music specifically. I have a great respect for artistic pioneers and the roots of where the most admirable and brilliant music stems from. I was the type of kid who would read liner notes and interviews by my favorite bands to find out who influenced them. I would always want to climb that musical family tree to see where it lead.

In my process of discovery, there was a common thread that jumped out at me that has been consistent through metal and rock history.  There seemed to be an intercontinental ping-pong match between the USA and Europe in terms of trailblazing the cutting edge of whatever musical genre was the dominant force of the time. This goes way back before metal existed — and yet, it has helped shape the musical landscape that exists today. The torch keeps being symbolically passed from one shore to the other.

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Excuse me. Glenn actually waited outside. ‘Cause he was a married man. And we all know that married men never go to prostitutes. Yep. I believe that.

This all according to Dave Mustaine in the below vintage video interview, for which Mustaine was clearly 100% sober. Some things never change, y’know?

My personal favorite part is when he reveals that he likes girls with hard butts. Dave Mustaine is an ass man! Would’ve figured him for a boob guy myself. You live, you learn.

-AR

Thanks to Ranpal Chana for the tip.

You think you have a monopoly on using metal to promote a Japanese car, Scion? No way! Now Honda is using Judas Priest’s “The Hellion” in a commercial for the 2011 model of the Odyssey. Between this and that cell phone commercial Rob Halford was in this summer, at least we know that The Metal God can afford a hot meal this month. I know a lot of you were worried about that.

The funniest part of this commercial — besides the minivan quickly turning into a panther, in case there was any doubt about the message the advertisers were trying to send — is that, near the end, there’s a video showing on the in-car television, and while it’s clearly meant to be a metal dude in the video, it’s not actually Halford or any other member of Priest. I guess there’s a limit to Honda’s licensing budget or something.

-AR

Thanks to William Corella Corella for the tip!

So back in July, Iron Maiden released a video for the title track from their latest opus, The Final Frontier, and while the space opera-themed clip looked pretty cool, some dolt decided to include the sound of all the laser guns n’ shit while the song was playing.

Now Rob Halford has released a similar video for the title track from his new album, Made of Metal, and the bad news is, it looks way cheaper and cheesier than Maiden’s clip. The good news is, you can actually, y’know, hear the fucking song. Not that that’s half the point of a music video or anything.

Halford’s Halford IV — Made of Metal is out now.

-AR

So Rob Halford has a new solo album, Halford IV – Made 0f Metal, coming out September 28, and our number one homies at Metal Injection are streaming an exclusive track, “Undisputed.” Check it out here.

I’m gonna keep this one short n’ sweet, ’cause, really, what is there to say about a Halford track? The dude never sold out, never made a trendy record or attempted to “modernize” his sound… he’s made good, old fashioned HEAVY FUCKING METAL for four decades now, and I suspect he’ll keep going ’til he dies, or his vocal chords burn out… whichever comes first. So go listen to the song, then come back here and let us know what you think.

Halford will be blowing Ozzy Osbourne off the stage throughout November and December; Metal Injection also has tour dates for you.

-AR

Holy shit, where was this chick when Halford left Priest? I’m pretty certain that if the band had heard her, they would have been all, “‘Ripper’ who?”

Now, I know that if you’re an aspiring vocalist, you probably just heard this and went, “Oh, shit, I will never be as good as this girl. I’m just gonna quit.” But, really, you should look to her as an inspiration, not a deterrent. Because she didn’t get where she is today on raw talent alone; the video above is the result of lots and lots of practice and hard work. To wit:

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

There weren’t any real hot button topics this week, so we decided to just play a fun game that used to keep Vince and Axl occupied for many a lunch period when they were kids:

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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Thanks to the magic of my DVR, I don’t really watch commercials anymore — but as I was fast forwarding between breaks on The Daily Show yesterday, I thought I saw Rob Halford. And then my mind went, “Are you stupid? No way you just saw Halford. In what context would he be on a commercial?” But then another part of my brain was like, “You write a metal blog for a living, dummy, and you need shit to write about. Go back and make sure.” So I went back.

And guess what?

It is Halford!

Unfortunately, every other part of the commerical sucks. But that just means you can stop watching after the first five seconds.

-AR

My top 5 artists/rock bands constantly change but right now I’d have to say these are them!

# 5 – Robin Trower

One of the greats!

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