Let’s rant about the Revolver’s Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock list some more. God knows they deserve the attention.

The biggest issue at hand seems to be whether or not it’s sexist. It is. As a female and as a metal fan, I do, in fact, find it sexist. Look at the name. Referring to women as “chicks” on a nationally recognized and widely read magazine is sexist. It demeans women. I might be overreacting, I might be overly politically correct, but if you’re going to insist that it’s a celebration of talent, then why is it portraying women as objects right off the bat? I do give you points on being honest, though, Revolver. You could’ve gone with full denial and named it “The Most Talented Chicks in Hard Rock.”

My biggest problem with this issue is that it really has nothing to do with the music. Yes, the women who pose do it by choice, and hope that after all the gawking some reader might actually listen to their music, but ultimately, those readers probably won’t. Why? Because the magazine features bands and musicians who already have a fan base and a clear, set audience. People who know them will still buy their records, but I highly doubt some guy will be like, “Hey, that Amy Lee is quite the looker. I should probably check out her stuff.”

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You’d think with all the shit talking and back tracking Nikki Sixx has been doing about this whole Motley Crue/Poison tour, putting him in a room with Bret Michaels to do some terrible morning television (because Motley Crue and Poison fans are now so old that the media outlet they are most likely to get their rock news from is a morning show) would an awful idea. And by “awful,” I mean for those poor bastards. You’d think it would be a great idea for us drama enthusiasts.

But no. Sixx and Michaels have been making the morning show rounds, and not only do they appear to be getting along, but they are about as exciting a comedy team as Death and Taxes. I mean, holy shit, are these interviews boring. The only thing even remotely interesting about them is the fact that Michaels is now more media-savvy than Sixx. Sixx’s exploits with Kat Von D. have kept him in the tabloids, but Rock of Love, Celebrity Apprentice, the Tony Awards, Miley Cyrus, and a giant middle finger to the desires of The Almighty have made Michaels famous in a much bigger way — a “Sheesh even my grandmother knows who Bret Michaels is” kinda way — and he’s gotten good at giving these very bland talk show interviews.

ANYWAY, if you do wanna watch these, here’s the video I prefer, if for no other reason than because I thought the lady was saying “Yep, that’s my sexual future” at the beginning, and I was like, “Whuh-huh?” (she’s actually saying “my six year old’s future”). But Metal Insider, who first brought these interviews to my attention, have another one, too.

-AR

Billboard ran a story on Wednesday that seemed to credit Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee as stating that “the film adaptation of the Crue’s 2002 memoir The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band … is now on track with Rob Zombie as it’s director. [sic]” It’s odd that this tasty bit of breaking news appeared outside of quotes while every other semi-coherent Lee mumbling was firmly attributed to the Methods of Mayhem frontman (if not represented by accurately punctuated copy). It’s extra odd because Rob Zombie would be such an odd match for The Dirt, unless there’s a new script that includes murderous hillbillies or dick-biting ghouls. And it’s super-mega-odd cuz according to Zombie, it’s untrue. He said as much Thursday on his Twitter:

Why does everyone keep asking if I am directing The Dirt? I am not. I am directing The Lords of Salem. Recording a CD after that.

Why does everyone keep asking Zombie that? Well, I am half-retarded on drugs and even I can answer that one: This rumor has Nikki Sixx’s gooey fingerprints all over it. It sounds dramatic to suggest that Sixx is launching an underhanded public campaign to railroad Zombie into helming this doomed flick, but if you think so that means you’ve forgotten that Sixx views himself as a string-pulling maestro who can bend anyone to his will. And hey I’d suffer from the same delusion if I successfully banged Kat Von D for like months. So, the lesson here is Kat Von D call me and all will see who the real puppetmaster is here.

–ADF

Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem is slated to begin shooting this Spring. Motley Crue joins Poison and The New York Dolls on tour kicking off June 7 in Dallas. Full dates here.

It goes without saying that an attractive women at a metal show is about as common as a MetalSucks reader who’s seen a vagina somewhere other than the internet. That’s why things like Revolver‘s “12 Hottest Chicks In Metal” calendar are little more than a cheap lie: a more honest title would be “Complete List of Hot Chicks in Metal.”

With such a shortage of ass, metal hotties are in high demand, and men are forced to make tough choices — and what tougher choice is there to make than the classic game of FUCK, MARRY, OR KILL? If you aren’t familiar, FMK is a game in which you are given a list of three names and must choose which one you would fuck, marry and kill. I figured it would be good practice for readers to choose which metal hotties they would eff, marry and kill — check out the menu after the break!

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So Nikki Sixx has had his girlfriend, the insanely irritating Kat Von D., tattoo Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars onto his knee. Apparently he chose the knee to taunt Mick, who cannot, in fact, bend his own knee anymore.

I assume Nikki chose Mick and not one of his other bandmates because Mick has never challenged him or do anything to threaten his time in the spotlight. In any case, look for Tommy and Vince to get tats of one another and not Nikki in retaliation.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

If you’re not familiar with Continuum’s 33 1/3 book series, you should be. Each entry is written by a different music critic and/or journalist, and each one is devoted to the study of a single, seminal album. There’s a wide range of types of music covered by the series – everything from the Beastie Boys to The Velvet Underground – but metal hass, up ’til now, been criminally unrepresented. There are entries for albums by Guns N’ Roses and Nine Inch Nails, but those aren’t metal bands in the strictest sense and, obviously, both groups have been wholly accepted by the mainstream; there was a book covering Sabbath’s Master of Reality recently, but, weird though it may be, at this point Sabbath are pretty much as accepted and unrebellious a metal band as we’re likely to get.

So D.X. Ferris’ recently release tome on Slayer’s Reign in Blood is the series’ first honest to God (or honest to Satan?) book covering a metal album. And it’s an AWESOME read – fascinating, intelligent, informative and insightful, you’re likely to blow through it record time, and then feel depressed as you realize you’ve reached the last page. Ferris not only takes a critical look at the album, making astute observations and pointing out little musical nooks and crannies you might have never noticed even after your gazillionth spin of the classic record, but he also managed to interview everyone and anyone who was involved with the album – from the band members themselves to producer Rick Rubin to engineer Andy Wallace to cover artist Larry Carroll and a few hundred other people I’m forgetting about – as well as loads and loads of musicians and artists who are fans of the album (Henry Rollins, Tori Amos, Gary Holt, and Paul Romano among them).

After I wrote this blog about Slayer and their continuing relevance in the metal world back in June, Ferris actually e-mailed me basically just to say “thanks” for the shout-out to his book. I asked him if I could shoot him some interview questions, and luckily for us, he agreed. After the jump, read what Ferris had to say about the process of putting the book together, things he learned about both Slayer and Reign in Blood while working on the book, and the state of Slayer today.

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Against my better judgement, I’ve been watching L.A. Ink these past few weeks because someone tipped me off that Dimebag’s “widow,” Rita Haney, Sebastian Bach, and Scott Ian would all be getting tats on the show. And while I appreciate the work Kat Von D does* and the opportunity to hear more Dime tidbits from Haney (cheesy though it is, I loved hearing that the first thing he asked her every morning is “What did you dream?”), I’m having a hard time getting around the fact that Kat is, for lack of a more polite term, an idiot – I mean, if anyone ever asks me to “hang ten on the couch,” I’d have no choice but to kick them in the shin.

What do you fine folks think?

Rita Haney Gets a Dimebag Tat
[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/DDtanNo_JH8" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Baz Gets an Angel Down Tat
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/ia3t98FX2pA" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Scott Ian gets an AC/DC Tat
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/eBQv61EWuvI" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

*Although I still think Paul Booth’s shit looks cooler – it’s more bad assed, and more three dimensional.