Monday, October 24th, 2011 at 4:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
According to The Hollywood Reporter, two dudes named Billy McCarthy and James Stonich, who were members of a Chicago band called Kid Rocker, are now suing Poison, Capital Records and EMI Music – because they claim that C.C. DeVille tried out for their band in 1984, heard a bunch of their demos, and then stole those songs, which include the Poison hits ”Talk Dirty To Me,” “I Won’t Forget You,” “Fallen Angel” and “Ride the Wind.” THR reports that “The plaintiffs are demanding disgorgement of all profits from the songs in question, statutory damages for willful infringement, and an injunction that prevents Poison and [Bret] Michaels from performing this allegedly stolen material.”
Oh my fuck, you guys, IT IS 71 DEGREES OUTSIDE. I was gonna stay home and watch Vanilla Ice’s underrated cinemetallic classic, Cool as Ice, but instead I am getting stoned and going for a long, long walk in the sun. Quickly, before I ditch you losers to actually enjoy life, here’s what we did this week:
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
Kid Rock (his real name is fucking “Bob”) is, once again, the center of controversy — but not, as per usual, because he fucked some famous ho-bag in a public toilet, or got into a cat fight with said ho-bag’s ex, or because his music sucks. No no no: rather, the cause of Rock’s latest brouhaha is that while he is scheduled to the receive the NAACP’s Great Expectations Award on May 1, he often has a Confederate flag on-stage during his performances (pics above and here). Says Noisecreep:
“Adolph Mongo, who heads Detroiters For Progress and is a local NAACP member, told the Detroit News that the singer’s use of the flag is ‘a slap in the face of anyone who fought for civil rights in this country.’
“However, other members of the organization praised Kid Rock’s dedication to his hometown of Detroit Rock City, and defended his claim to the Great Expectations award. ‘Kid Rock has consistently lifted up the Great Expectations of many persons… concerning the future of the city,’ said Donnell R. White, interim executive director of the NAACP’s Detroit branch.”
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010 at 2:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
Pizza pizza.
The best description of Domino’s pizza I’ve ever heard came from our friend Jason, who said, “It doesn’t taste like pizza, it tastes like an English muffin with tomato sauce.” And I’ve only eaten at a Little Caesar’s once that I can recall, but my impression of it was more or less the same as my impression of Domino’s (or Pizza Hut, for that matter). Maybe I’m spoiled because we have a lot of good pizza here in New York, but I’ve never been able to understand why anyone would prefer to have McPizza over any number of other Italian dining options.
But I gather (he said with his nose held high in the air) that these places are very popular within the white trash populace — a.k.a., Kid Rock’s bread n’ butter. So when I read the following on MediaPost.com (by way of Metal Insider), I thought, “Gee, that is a brilliant fucking idea.”
So, the regular season is a quarter of the way through and we can separate the good from the not so good. I’ve compiled a quick list of suggestions for certain teams (Bills, Lions, Panthers and ’9ers) to claw their way back to the top. Where muscles and tattoos used to intimidate the enemy, today’s athletes are on ‘roids and look like human coloring books. Here are some ideas that are outside of the box.
Suggestion 1:Have your entire defensive line eat a bunch of Mexican food for breakfast and chase it with a ton of castor oil.
As they shit themselves and vomit all over their opponents’ front line, the distraction, if not the smell alone, will clear a direct path to the QB. I’m not sure how many times this’ll work, seeing as if a human vomits and has diarrhea for the length of a football game they’ll be dead, but it might get at least one slash in the win column.
A quick example: There was a young lady who won the Boston Marathon while having her “lady event” and also pooping. Was she a great runner or did no one want to come close to her? It’s a sports mystery.
Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 at 3:00pm by Sergeant D
Unless you count current metalcore bands with a wiggerish slant (Emmure, Winds of Plague, Acacia Strain, etc.), the genre of nu-metal is all but dead. Once a nearly-unstoppable juggernaut of Kikwear pants, eyebrow piercings, and chinstrap beards, today it is but a dessicated husk, barely clinging to life. At its peak, nu-metal filled the airwaves coast-to-coast, but these days you’re most likely to hear it on a beat up boombox in the corner of a windowless basement printshop or third-rate auto parts store on the outskirts of town.
While the tastes of fickle music consumers may have changed, nu-metal has never sounded better. Many kids these days are too young to have experienced this unique genre the first time around, so I figured I would share some of nu-metal’s best artists that fly a little under the radar of current tastemakers — I’ll skip the big names that we all know (Korn, Kid Rock, Bizkit) and focus on the unsung heroes. And mark my words, you’ll see indie rockers ironically listening to hed(pe) within the next few years!
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
There are now six songs* available online from Slash’s Slash, his forthcoming sort-of-but-not-really solo debut (as though Slash’s Snakepit wasn’t a solo band) that I care far too much about. If you include bonus tracks, that’s actually more than a full third of the album; if you don’t include bonus track, it’s (obviously) even more.
So I now feel pretty confident in saying this album won’t be horrible, even if it’s obviously never going to live up to GN’R, and features appearances by Kid Rock, Fergie, and the girl from Maroon 5.
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
So the Australian branch of iTunes has apparently uploaded thirty-second clips of all the songs from Slash’s forthcoming, self-titled solo album, and, of course, someone has uploaded all of those clips to YouTube. Gotta love the internet! So I thought we’d play one of our favorite games here at MetalSucks. It’s called “Let’s make premature judgments based on not very much actual music at all.” Listen to the clips in the video below, and then get my thoughts after the jump.
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
The Starbucks Incident
Yes, I am going to continue to bitch about Slash. I understand that Slash is not Jimi Hendrix but this might be the single biggest betrayal to my formative years since Metallica released everything they’ve released from Load on, and I need to mourn.
So. Some lady says that the following singers are all on Slash’s new solo album, How Could Taking My Cues from Carlos Santana Possibly Go Wrong? I have added my own thoughts because that’s what we do around here. Click to read more…
Friday, October 2nd, 2009 at 12:00pm by D.X. Ferris
In honor of Alaskan metalcore band 36 Crazyfists’ new DVD, Under a Northern Sky (in stores October 27), a list of 35 other famous, metal, heavy, and/or crazy fists:
I just got a press release that Kid Rock’s boyfriend, Uncle Kracker, has a new album coming out in the fall. To which I can only say: shouldn’t this douche bag be getting raped in prison right about now?
That’s not a judgement on Kracker’s music. I mean, his music sucks, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying that I quite literally thought the dude was going to jail.
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009 at 4:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
Let me begin this post by saying I am not against our armed forces. If you still hold the “You can’t be against the war but for the troops” mentality, this article is not for you. In fact, this website is not for you. Intelligent thought clearly isn’t for you, either. Fuck off.
One of Vince and mine’s closest, oldest friends enlisted on September 12, 2001. Literally. He saw the terrorist attacks and he signed up to go fight bad guys. The military was supposed to pay for his college in return, which was a bonus – mostly, he wanted to be patriotic and do the right thing. Cut ahead to 2007, and the guy’s term of service has been involuntarily extended so many times he’s doing anything he can just to get kicked out; when he finally succeeds, barely avoiding a court martial, the military, needless to say, refuses to pay for his school or his medical care, and he comes home with PTSD. The last time I saw him – which, unfortunately, was about a year ago – he was on meds for his PTSD, but it was powerful he was constantly rocking back and forth in his seat as a side effect. This is a dude I’ve known since I was six years old.
I mention all of this so you’ll know why the following makes me so fucking angry.
Every time I’ve gone to the movies for the past – Christ, it must be the past year, at least – I’ve been forced to sit through one of two “rock videos” that are, in fact, recruitment ads propaganda for the National Guard. One of them is a song by 3 Doors Down, and the other, “Warrior,” is a track by everyone’s least favorite rich kid turned red neck, Kid Rock. Our buddy Anso at Hipsters Out of Metal! just brought it to my attention that the Kid Rock video is on YouTube now, I decided to post it and then, naturally, rant.
Here’s the video. Some random thoughts after the jump.
Readers of this site with a fine attention to detail know that I’m actually not a lifelong New Yorker; during those fuzzy, booze and weed-drenched years known as “college” I moved out to the wilds of Detroit, Michigan. Well, Ann Arbor… but everyone who lives within 100 miles of the place (hello, Kid Rock!) says they’re from Detroit, so fuck it. I did spend plenty of time in the city proper though and actually grew to quite like Detroit in all its abandoned glory. But among the city’s least endearing aspects was its penchant for terrible, terrible music (see above), and at the absolute bottom of the already-despicable totem pole of shit bands were the putrid shitstains known as Insane Clown Posse. People in Detroit fucking LOVE this band unconditionally. People with otherwise perfectly respectable, nay, GOOD taste in music pledge allegiance to the Juggalo nation and wear the hatchet around their neck.
Let’s take a look into the heart of the Juggalo, shall we?
Thursday, January 15th, 2009 at 11:08am by Axl Rosenberg
When it was announced last month that Killswitch Engage would be on Disturbed’s fourth Music as a Weapon tour, we were flooded with so many irate e-mails from readers you’d have thought that Howard Jones had just been caught raping hundreds of metal fans’ mothers; KSE fans just couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the concept of the American New Wavers acting as support for one of the most love ‘em or loathe ‘em nu metal acts on the planet. We didn’t report on the development at the time, though. Frankly, I figured it was just one of those things; sometimes awesome bands tour with crappy ones. You can’t please all the people all the time.
But now that Chimaira and Lacuna Coil have joined the tour, I gotta ask: what the frick?
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, have you guys read the liner notes for this fucking thing? “Produced by Axl Rose and Caram Costanzo. Mixed by Andy Wallace, Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose. Final Mixing: Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose.” “Additional production and preproduction by Roy Thomas Baker.” “Additional Production: Sean Beaven.” “Additional and/or initial Engineering.” Those are just the whole album credits. Each song gets its own “initial production” credit, too, and, in one instance, an “initial arrangement by” shout out. The phrase “reamped, edited and engineered” appears at least twice. Fourteen recording studios are listed, spread out over four cities on two continents. There’s no fewer than five guitarists (six if you count Rose himself), two keyboard players (three if you count Rose), two drummers, and two composer/orchestrators cited (The fact that only one bass player, Tommy Stinson consistently plays on the album seems like something of a marvel… oh, wait, that Chris Pitman dude everyone calls “Mother Goose” for some reason plays bass on “If the World.” Nevvvvvvermind.). Donatella Versace, Kid Rock, Lars Ulrich, and Mickey Rourke are all thanked, alongside guys with names like “Mookie” and “Worm.” THERE’S A CREDIT FOR “LOGIC.”I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS. IS THERE A COMPUTER PROGRAM CALLED “LOGIC” OR ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY BEING CREDITED WITH SUPPLYING SOME LOGIC????????
I’m not making this shit up. I couldn’t make this shit up. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during the recording of Chinese Democracy! It must have made the production of Apocalypse Now seem like a long weekend on Fire Island.
But here’s the thing: as incredibly, insanely, undeniably fascinating as all that shit is, it really has nothing to with any critical analysis of the album.
All is not lost in the world of metal; in fact, this past week brought some nice surprises, along with the usual mish-mash of shitty radio rock bands. Last week’s sales numbers, with our usual sardonic commentary, after the jump. (Hint: look at the tags below, and click “read more” if any of those bands interest you!).
Lord knows we are completely sick of talking about Metallica here at the MS Mansion despite the fact that a Metallica post is automatically good for 50-100 comments and we love watching you all duke it out. But damn, the fact that Metallica’s Death Magnetic sits atop the Soundscan charts for the 3rd week in a row, having moved over 130,000 units this week and 500,000 units in its abridged first week (due to a Friday release date), is certainly worth breaking our self-imposed Metallica hiatus for. In other weeks this year 131,000 wouldn’t be enough to tally a #1, but that’s part of the game; this week’s #2 Demi Lovato (who???) shifted only 88,000 copies. And any way you slice it, 131,000 is a damn respectable number.
Apparently Metallica is still relevant. And apparently nearly 1 million people think Death Magnetic is good enough to pay for it. Shitty mixing job be damned.
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 11:49am by Vince Neilstein
It seemed as if Slipknot was destined for their first-ever #1 album on the U.S. Soundscan charts. Not so, thanks to hip-hop artist The Game, whose new release LAX sold 238,285 copies, a whopping 13 more than the 238,272 units shifted of Slipknot’s All Hope is Gone — still an extremely respectable and awesome number. And yes, these numbers include full albums purchased digitally.
It was a big week for Roadrunner all around; Dragonforce’s Ultra Beatdown debuted at #19 with 23,977 copies sold. We hope the RR braintrust throw a kegger for all the fine folks working over there; and we hope we’re invited!
Elsewhere, radio mainstays Kid Rock, Staind and Disturbed unsurprisingly continued to sell a lot of records in Middle America.
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 11:12am by Axl Rosenberg
Back when the video for “One” came out, it seemed like Metallica had an understanding – and fear – of the horrors of war. That clip might’ve been heavy-handed, but it felt like a legitimate political statement, as well a visual expression of the song.
The band’s new video for “The Dick that Never Came,” on the other hand, just feels exploitative – like one of those propaganda videos Kid Rock is currently starring in for the National Guard.
So here’s the Metallica video… as a bonus, check out the recockulous Kid Rock/National Guard appeal to white trash who see some connection between NASCAR and Iraq after the jump.
Happy July 4th, everyone. Axl and I are closing down the MetalSucks Mansion a day early to get off of this swampy, hot, over-crowded island…. so this is it for us until next Monday. Enjoy your time-off; for our international readers, well… revel in the fact that you get *way* more days off than we lame Americans do throughout the whole year! Anyway, here’s what happened this week:
Motley Crue and Shinedown had big sales debuts, while Disturbed and Kid Rock kept it going strong.
