Just so you know, when Vince and I cuddle, he’s usually the big spoon.

Here’s what happened in MetalSucks Land this week:

• Misery Index’s Jason Netherton joined us for the latest edition of Cooking Contaminated.
• Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable wondered if corporate-sponsored metal shows are killing the live concert market.
• We chatted with Soilwork’s Peter Wichers, Mantric’s Ole Halvard Sveen, and Black Army Jacket’s Carlos Ramirez.
• We checked out new releases by Norma Jean and Lightning Swords of Death.
• We celebrated the excellent year currently being enjoyed by Metal Blade Records.
• Korn played to the largest audience they deserve. (That would be an audience of zero.)
• New BOO means debates by you.
• Poison the Well poisoned our week.
• We were on the Metal Injection Livecast!
• Booty shake.

Next week is hair metal week! We’ll still be reporting on regular metal, too, so don’t freak out too hard. See ya Monday.

-AR

Thanks: YouTube user / MS Maniac artlimbman

So let me see if I have this straight: Korn paid what I assume was a large sum of money to have a big crop circle made so that they could play a ninety minute concert to no fans whatsoever so that they could make a video of said fanless gig and release it on the internet for free. Wow. That’s kind of amazing. It’s an almost complete waste of resources, AND a terrific promotional tool. And I mean both of those statements sincerely.

Of course people are gonna talk about this. But it is, in pretty much every way imaginable, an insanely poor use of time and effort. I mean, I didn’t even watch the entire thing – I looked at about a minute of them playing the opening track, and then I skipped ahead to see if maybe they let some fans come by later, and then I stopped again when I saw a pretty sunset and thought “Wow, that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in a Korn video,” and then I fast forwarded again, and now I’m writing this.

And this must have cost a fortune, right? I’d be really curious to know if it any way translates to increased album or ticket sales for Korn. Seriously. I wanna know if this incredibly bizarre and effort-filled PR stunt paid off.

-AR

There’s still no official release date for Gold Cobra, the most heavily anticipated recording in the history of music and sure to be the highest selling release of all time — or, at least, since Chinese Democracy. (I’ve heard that executives throughout the industry feel confident that Cobra will single-handedly revive CD sales. “There’s nothing out there right now with this kind of scope,” an unpaid intern who just started in the Interscope mailroom, and thinks he has a really bright future with the label, told me.) And while the anticipation is killing me, at least I know when I can run to Walmart and get my hands on the new Linkin Park album: the band has announced a September 14 release date for their latest offering, A Thousand Suns. It was produced by Rick Rubin, the man who made Metallica totally cool and relevant again.

Click to read more…

Tales of Korn guitarist James “Munky” Schaffer are well-documented, like the time he got pummeled by a member of Droid, and now his wasted exploits are available for all the world to hear courtesy of the Noisecreep CreepShow. Host Jon Wiederhorn greets Munky on the phone at the very top of the broadcast, and the Korn guitarist is completely wasted lying poolside at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas (’cause that’s where the cool kids hang out at 11:30am). Munky is next-level drunk and pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth is gold; I don’t want to ruin it for you, but a choice nugget includes him pining for Head to come back to the band.

-VN

Kirk Windstein is a poet. Of this, there can be no doubt. Since Kingdom of Sorrow took over our site on Tuesday, Vince and I have decided we really, really wanna take a trip to New Orleans and just go eat with the dude (well, probably get high and then go eat with the dude). But secretly, I have aspirations of someday being able to pay the man to teach my children how to speak good. I can dream, can’t I?

Here’s some other shit that went down in the Mansion this week:

• We debuted a clip from The Haunted’s new DVD, Road Kill.
• We also debuted new music by Early Graves.
• We spoke to Stephen Carpenter from Deftones.
• Ken Sorceron from Abigail Williams doesn’t wanna talk shit about Winds of Plague, so instead he just left a comment on our site saying “it its embarrassing to once again see our name next to theirs on another metal news site.” Way to not talk shit, Kenny!
• We checked out a new release by Black Pyramid.
• Sergeant D taught us about the history of metalcore and screamo.
• We engaged in debate about the new Maiden song, the new Maiden setlist, and the old Maiden album art.
• The new Methods of Mayhem song is the worst thing ever.
• Rose Funoral finally spoke out about the Uno Incident.
• Vince thinks the BP oil spill is Korny.

Next week will bring some more streams, interviews with Max Cavalera and Bobby Blotzer, and more self-righteous rage over fairly trivial topics. ‘Til then…

-AR

Time for another angry eco rant.

We just got a press release from Roadrunner Records announcing that Korn have boycotted BP oil products and will not be filling their touring vehicles with BP gasoline during their Summer tours. Awww… that cute. I could rant about how it really doesn’t matter which oil company they boycott, because this disaster could’ve been caused by any of them — and I could rant about how they’ll still be polluting the environment with their tour regardless of where they fill up — but that much should be obvious.

Instead, I’m going to rant about how this oil spill is all our fucking fault. ALL of us. Not BP, not the other big oil companies, not our government or Obama… but you, me, Axl, the Monkeys, Korn, your sister, your brother, your parents, and every fucking person on this planet. It’s our fault this happened.

Click to read more…

Because we’ve gotten a bunch of e-mails that are all like, “Why don’t you make fun of Korn’s ‘Oildale’ video?!?”

And we aim to please (well, not really, but I think I’m supposed to say that). But the thing is, there isn’t actually much to make fun of. Sure, the song is lousy, but we’ve said that already. And the video is pretty dumb, with lots of lowest common denominator “symbolism” that I guess is supposed to be “profound” (the kid is riding his bike, being chased by a big scary dog, approaching a dead end clearly marked by a sign that reads “Dead End,” just in case you don’t understand), but…

Oh, wait. I guess I did just kinda make fun of it. Okay. Well, hope that at least sorta-kinda made some of you happy.

Meanwhile, much to my amazement and amusement, some of you are still arguing about my Korn III listening party report. It’s enough to make me wanna review Gold Cobra!

-AR

I’ve always wanted to ask Brian “Head” Welch if the Jesus tattoo on his hand has been a success as a masturbation deterrent, ’cause I feel like if I really, really wanted to jerk-off, no picture of a deity could ever really stop me. To that same end, I’ve never been sure if having an “X” tattooed on my hand would prevent me from having a drink or smoking weed or putting any number of other substances into my body. But I’ve never gone to rehab, so maybe I just don’t understand the power symbols can have when helping one fight his inner demons.

So. James Hetfield’s struggles with addiction have been about as well documented as any rock star’s struggles with addiction; in Some Kind of Monster, you can watch the guy morph from a grumpy, introverted, inarticulate alcoholic to a talkative, bespeckled and frosted, touchy-feely whimp right before your very eyes. (That’s not a criticism of his sobriety, by the way; his music lost its appeal for me long before he went to rehab, so I’m not someone that believes we’re just a few beers away from Master of Puppets Part II. And I actually appreciate that Hetfield seems to have become a more self-aware and articulate man since he stopped drinking.) But according to Double Cross Webzine, in latest issue of Metallica’s fan club magazine, So What!, Hetfield identifies himself as “a reborn straight edge,” and even got a new “X” tattoo on his hand to prove it.

Click to read more…

Dio died. Isis broke-up. Bret Michaels is back in the hospital. And I just used Dio, Isis, and Bret Michaels in one thought-stream, which, I’m sure, offended somebody.

Luckily, we did manage to have some fun this week:

• Sick of it All’s Lou Koller is counting down his top ten hardcore albums, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa is counting down to the end of L O S T, Batillus’ Fade Kainer is counting down ’til the band can get the fuck outta the studio, Agenda of Swine’s Pete Benumb is counting down to MDF, and Cynic’s Paul Masvidal is counting down to achieving a higher level of being.
• We spoke to Steve Joh from Century Media, Tara Johnson from Disembodied, Emil Werstler from Daath and Levi/Werstler, and Travis Stever from Coheed & Cambria.
• We checked out the latest release from Rosetta.
• Sergeant D. has new slamz 4 u.
• The best music video ever of the week is by… Goldfrapp?
• There are plenty of things we’d rather do than listen to a new Attack Attack! song.
• Endorsement of the new Avenged Sevenfold single = flame war.
• You guys are still arguing about my Korn review. Seriously?
• I’m still upset about John Bush leaving Anthrax again. Seriously.
• We used to love Sweden, but we had to kill it.

And hopefully no one awesome will die or break-up next week.

-AR

1. Endure a political lecture from Blackie Lawless.
2. Take an I.Q. exam designed by Korn fans.
3. Pose for a Paul Stanley-painted portrait of my taint for his next exhibit.
4. Try to teach my dog to play The Binary Code’s “Suspension of Disbelief” on the ukulele.
5. Watch Lita Ford and Jim Gillette fuck, then Tweet about it.
6. Help produce British Steel Drums: The World’s Most Irritating Tribute to Judas Priest.
7. Let Marilyn Manson spit in my mouth.
8. Let the dude from Weedeater clean his gun while it’s aimed directly at my face.
9. Tie Billy Milano to my penis and toss him over the side of a roof.
10. Pretend to be a solicitor, call the Dio residence, and ask if Ronnie is available.

So stop e-mailing us about it.

-AR

Yep, we talked a lot of smack on Joey Belladonna this week, much to the chagrin of, well, an awful lot of you. I think we’re done for a little while… but I can’t make any promises. Our job at MetalSucks is to amuse ourselves first and foremost, and, well, we thought it was pretty damned funny. So ppppfffftttt.

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We debuted the title track from Nachtmystium’s new album, Addicts.
• Genetic’s Dallas Coyle called us “influential,” Disfear’s Tomas Lindberg shared some Maryland Deathfest memories, The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley unveiled his top four Taco Riffs, Cynic’s Paul Masvidal got burglarized, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa made some new revelations about L O S T, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle worried about turning into an old geezer, Daath’s Eyal Levi gave us a lesson in stage etiquette, and Batillus’ Geoff Summers gave us a new studio update.
• We spoke to The Melvins’ Buzz Osborne, Periphery’s Misha “Bulb” Mansoor, Testament’s Chuck Billy, and Sick of it All’s Lou Koller.
• We checked out new releases by Korn and Ufomammut and Year of No Light.
• Is Mastodon’s Brent Hinds a Mastodick?
• Sergeant D sez Cunthunt777 are your new favorite band.
• Don’t worry, baby, Dr. Danzig gonna cure what ails you.
• Hot chick loves Nergal, hates the Bible.
• Boy oh boy, do we love the new Limp Bizkit cover art!
• If you’re looking for new band members, don’t do this.

Alright. We’re gonna go get drunk and crank We’ve Come For You All in John Bush’s honor. Have a great weekend, everyone.

-AR

Earlier this week I posted a report/review from a listening party for Korn III: Remember Who You Are. And, no shock, a flame war broke out in the comments section, primarily amongst my fellow Korn haters, and Korn fans. At least two Korn fans were posting under multiple handles, attempting to appear to several different people, presumably to make it look like there was more support for Korn in our comments section – which is wholly ridiculous. Korn don’t need more support in our comments section; that’s giving our comments section (or, for that matter, my review) WAY too much credit, in terms of how it will have an effect on the success of this record.

I’m always completely baffled when people get SO UPSET over something I or any of the other writers here at MetalSucks say. Let me ask you this question – and I mean this sincerely: who gives a shit what we think? To paraphrase The Dude, these are just, like, our opinions, man. We pose no actual threat to anyone. We like to think that our support for a band can help them out, but we’re not unrealistic about the amount of sway we have over our readers. We can’t write something and make Korn disappear anymore that we can write something and make At All Cost the biggest band in the world; we just don’t have that power. I’ve always thought that if you could let the ramblings of one blogger make you feel so angry that you need to devote hours of your life to telling him what an idiot you think he is (or sending him death threats – which has happened to us), you must have serious ego problems – there must be some small part of you that thinks, “What if this band I love really DOES suck? What does that say about me?” And that’s really silly, ’cause – duh – it’s all subjective. My opinion of a band doesn’t say anything about you, even when I joke that it does; all it really says is something about, well, my opinion of the band.

So. Korn previewed a few tracks from this album on Sirius/XM’s “Octane” – namely “Pop a Pill,” “Let the Guilt Go,” and “The Past.” I’m posting a video of that preview below. Now you can all listen to the music and make up your own mind, at which point you should feel free to completely disregard my own opinion of the record. And I know that typing this is a complete waste of finger-muscle energy, but try to keep the discussion in the comments section civil for a change, okay? It’s only a metal blog, people. We’re not curing cancer here; that’s Glenn Danzig’s job.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Last night, Vince and I attended a listening party for Korn’s latest earth-shattering masterpiece, Korn III: Remember Who You Are. “But Axl,” you ask, “if you and Vince hate Korn so much, why did you go?” Well, three reasons:

1. We were told there’d be free drinks.
2. We thought it would be really funny.
3. We were told there’d be free drinks.

And there were free drinks! Unfortunately, there wasn’t much humor to be had.

ANYWAY, as part of the presentation, three-fifths of the band got up – Fieldy and whomever is playing the second guitar with the group these days were absent – and said a few words, none of which made any impression on me. Then they played the album. Herewith, my thoughts on said album, track-by-track.

Click to read more…

The new Korn song is called “Oildale.” Oildale is a real town in California. And it’s apparently not a very nice place, either – I think Urban Dictionary sums it up best when they say that Oildale is “a down ass town next to Bakersfield where them White Power Gangsters put in work.” The reliable experts at Wikipedia tell me Korn vocalist Jonathan “I’m Not the Star Wars Audio Book Dude” Davis was born in Bakersfield, so I guess he knows from where them White Power Gangsters put in work. (Wikipedia also tells me that Davis’ favorite band as a kid was Duran Duran, which explains a lot.) He also still knows from being a frowny teenager: “Why don’t you just leave me alone?!” he screams in the chorus. So, y’know. Thug life.

Korn debuted this new song during a recent performance in Alaska, so maybe there’s s’posed to be some kind of “oil” message in the lyrics, too. Maybe it’s the oil that wants to be left alone! That’d be deep, yo.

“Oildale” will presumably appear on Korn’s new album, Korn III - Remember When You Liked Korn? Yeah, Me Neither! It’s being released by Roadrunner, who, between Korn and Rob Zombie, seem headed down the E1 path of signing already-established artists – which isn’t the worst business plan in the world. And it’ll be fun to see who they sign next. Marilyn Manson needs a label, doesn’t he?

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

I’m always fascinated when dudes with genuine musical talented take gigs with bands that are far below their level. I mean, it makes perfect sense; band needs a fill-in member or hired gun and someone else in the band / their label / their management knows someone who knows someone who can learn the material fast and play it well. Dude takes the gig because it pays crazy loot. I guess mostly I’m just disappointed that someone with such obvious talent isn’t doing something that really puts their skills to full use. Last week I ended up drinking beers with the keyboard player for Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s live bands; dude’s all sorts of talented but instead is relegated to playing little pop ditties. I guess we all have bills to pay, right? And on the brightside, those endeavors can certainly fund more interesting ones later on.

This is all a very long-winded introduction to MS Maniac Mark Moritz-Rabson’s discovery that Korn’s current fill-in guitarist Shane Gibson turns out to be quite a musician. He certainly doesn’t make Korn’s shit-tastic music sound any better, but on his own he’s a talented player. His style really reminds me of Animals As Leaders’ Tosin Abasi.

-VN

When it comes to music (and other things really), I tend to play devil’s advocate. If everyone is shitting on a certain band, for some reason, I become more attracted to that band and seek them out. I don’t know what it is about my personality, but I think it stems from the same perspective that inspired me to write the antagonistic blog about rethrash. It may be a character flaw, but I’m sure it has something to do with a need to be an individual. From what I gather, this website is inhabited mainly by “true” metal heads. What I define as “true” are people whom are purists in the realm of metal and usually scoff at any band or trend that reeks of premeditated commercialism or an overt play for popularity, and who usually demand a certain level of musicianship and underground credibility. These fans usually hate every Metallica record after …And Justice For All, and for that matter always prefer any particular band’s older releases, which usually have a more raw and unrefined recording quality, as well as more abstract, less traditional song writing. For example, they will prefer Carcass’s Necrotiscim to Heartwork, or Morbid Angel’s Blessed Are The Sick to Domination. Oh yeah, and these guys gave up on In Flames and Soilwork years ago.

I have a good deal of that purism in my bones, but it always seemed short sighted and close minded. You have no idea how many arguments the Adler brothers from Lamb of God and I have gotten into over the merits of a particluar Metallica or Megadeth record. If you even bring up Disturbed or Limp Bizkit on MetalSucks, it is mocked and disregarded 100% of the time. I think metal heads often have a sheep mentality because of the fear of being viewed by their peers as less credible for liking bands that aren’t considered “true” or “real” enough. We all have guilty pleasures, but the real question is “Why should we feel guilty about something we enjoy?”

Click to read more…

UPDATE: HEY, LOOKIT THAT! Here’s the cover in all its glory. My stupid original story after the jump.

Click to read more…

So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

Click to read more…

A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR