There are a lot of places I want to see in the world, and quite a few cities I want to visit in the States. I want to go to Austin, Seattle, and up until last week, Chicago was on that list, too. As luck would have it, a dear friend of mine recently moved to Chicago, so my best friend and I took it upon ourselves to descend on her and her boyfriend for the week.

I loved it. I love Chicago. I love being in any town that has coffee shops rather than nine Starbucks on every street corner, and Chicago gave me a glorious coffee shop with an ‘80s theme; there was a DeLorean parked in the shop, along with posters of Ghostbusters, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and various other kitschy things like a wall of old lunchboxes. But there was no Ninja Turtles one, and that was my choice of lunch transport in first grade. But I let it slide.

Beyond all that though, Chicago is home to a very special place. A place with unmatched burgers. A place that celebrates heavy metal. A place known as Kuma’s Corner.

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When I think of metal and food, I usually think of microwavable burritos, overpriced festival vendors, and terrible, life threatening, ass ripping diarrhea.

Luckily for all of us, that will now change.

See, I’ve never been to The Windy City, but now I have reason to go: Chicago restaurant Kuma’s Corner, which features burgers and sandwiches named after every band from Sabbath to Metallica to Slayer to Maiden to Pig Destroyer to Lair of the Minotaur to Mayhem to Mastodon, whose honorary burger, pictured left, comes topped in BBQ Sauce, cheddar cheese, bacon, and frizzled onions.

Fuck. Now I’m hungry.

-AR

[thanks: Thomas C. Willis]