MetalSucks

Extreme experimental metallers Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza posted a new song called “Yippiekayay Motherfucker” on their MySpace page back in October, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. The Danza have a full new record on the way later this year via Guy Kozowyk’s Black Market Activities label titled Danza III: The Series Of Unfortunate Events, and while we haven’t heard anything from that album just yet (unless the aforementioned Bruce Willis-inspired track will make it onto the record) we do have something to tide you over in the meantime. Here’s a statement from frontman Jessie Freeland:

Soooo, basically we were just getting bored and wanted to post a song. We can’t post any of the new stuff at this time so we decided, what the hell, let’s do a cover. The first thing that jumped into our heads was ‘Teen Spirit.’ There’s nothing special about the song to us – we basically just wanted to see if we could pull it off. So, with a little help from Jack Daniels we got it done and here it is.

It’s a pretty straight cover of a song we all grew up on, but that makes it no less awesome; as one might expect, Freeland absolutely lets loose during the choruses, screaming his guts out on Kurt Cobain’s famous lyrics. Stream and download the track below.

[this promotion has ended]

-VN

The Starbucks Incident

Yes, I am going to continue to bitch about Slash. I understand that Slash is not Jimi Hendrix but this might be the single biggest betrayal to my formative years since Metallica released everything they’ve released from Load on, and I need to mourn.

So. Some lady says that the following singers are all on Slash’s new solo album, How Could Taking My Cues from Carlos Santana Possibly Go Wrong? I have added my own thoughts because that’s what we do around here. Click to read more…

I imagine that being the child of a celebrity is difficult under any circumstances, and I’m not sure that, had he lived, there’s much Kurt Cobain would have been able to do for Frances Bean, his poorly-named daughter with Courtney Love. The guy was obviously pretty nutty himself so it’s not like we can sit here and say “Well, everything would have been fine if Kurt had lived.”

That being said, leaving poor Frances Bean alone in the sole custody of Courtney has to be tantamount to child neglect.

So. Both Courtney and Frances have left Twitter. That’s sad only because Courtney’s tweets are so consistently fucknuts that the world is now deprived of one of the 21st century’s great free entertainments. (I didn’t even know that Frances was on Twitter.) But then again, the reason for their decision to halt all tweeting is pretty hilarious.

Click to read more…

I haven’t done a blog in a while because the last blog I did really got me thinking about the mentality of people in the metal scene. Most particularly, the mentality of shit talking. We’re all guilty of it. I admitted to shit talking Bring Me The Horizon in magazines over in Europe when I was in God Forbid. I never heard them at that point. But now, I dig them and I feel pretty stupid for slagging them.

In my last blog I mentioned my excitement for the band Eryn Non Dae and how I was going to “borrow” some of their ideas for my new project. First of all, my last blog was PACKED with information about band business, touring and juicy tidbits of amazing knowledge :) But, the funny thing about the last blog was this guy ‘Jamie.’ Out of a five hundred word blog, he took the phrase “borrow ideas” and accused me and God Forbid of riding the coat tails of other popular bands. Killswitch was his biggest gripe. Then it was Opeth.

He claimed Gone Forever (2004) was a Killswitch rip and Earthsblood (2009) was an Opeth rip. This type of thing usually doesn’t bother me. In this instance I was fucking bothered. Jamie and I entered into a written brawl about the history of God Forbid and the intentions of our song writing for the last ten fucking years. Why would I waste my time to defend myself from this sort of claim?

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So as it turns out, Courtney Love is – no shock here – a fucking liar. Despite her protests to the contrary, not only did only did Love sign off on the use of a Kurt Cobain avatar in Guitar Hero 5, but she cashed the nice, fat check she was given for the use of said avatar. Nice.

The Great Kat was/is (does anyone still care about her?) more coherent than Ms. Love, but no less aggressively nuts. I was never a fan, but for those of you who were/are, I have but one question: why?

-AR

Thanks to Shane Gillis for the video.

We’ve all been cringing at Courtney Love’s latest desecration of her dead husband for a quick buck. Thankfully, the Hole frontwoman and executor of Kurt Cobain’s estate isn’t standing in the way of an absolutely awesome reissue of Bleach, Nirvana’s classic grunge/sludge debut. First released twenty years ago on Sub Pop, the album has been remastered for the label under the direction of bassist Krist Novoselic and original producer Jack Endino.

Click to read more…

Even if Kurt Cobain didn’t mind being used as an avatar in Guitar Hero 5, I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t want to be used to sing Bon Jovi or Bush – even if it’s only virtual. Isn’t Bon Jovi exactly the kind of band that went against everything Cobain stood for? And Bush… that’s exactly the kind of god-awful shit-fuck wanna-be grunge band that Cobain accidentally inspired, and I’m sure either hated (if he was aware of them before his death) or would have hated (if he wasn’t aware of them before his death).

I’m not even that big a Cobain fan – but you just know that he’d be pissed at Courtney for letting them do this. What a crock.

-AR

[via Topless Robot]

If you’re famous, one of the biggest problems with being dead is that you lose all control over how your “estate” (read: family that needs money) uses abuses your legacy. Case in point: Kurt Cobain is apparently going to be in Guitar Hero 5.

Now, I’m not one of these people who has a problem with Guitar Hero or rhythm games in general – I find them entertaining, and I’m not an alarmist who thinks they mean kids are gonna stop learning to play real instruments.

But I feel like Cobain is definitely the kind of stick-up-his-ass dude who would have a problem with Guitar Hero. Still, Francis Bean gotta eat Courtney Love gotta shoot up, so there’s Kurt in all his pixelated glory.

I’m shocked that Dimebag hasn’t been included in a rhythm game yet. I’d wager that his estate is working on that right about now.

-AR

When I first heard that Courtney Love was going to release her long-delayed solo record under the Hole name, I considered it “a huge fuck you to co-founder Eric Erlandson.” Though the argument has been made that the influence and involvement of Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan may have had more to do with the band’s successes than the work of its official membership, I wondered how it was even permissible for her to utilize the name. Surely there had to be legal hurdles to be dealt with that couldn’t be dismissed without consent from former members. (I mean, Axl Rose effectively destroyed Guns N’ Roses by compelling his bandmates to relinquish all rights to the name.) So I’ve been waiting for Erlandson or someone from Hole’s management to comment on Love’s unilateral decision to shamelessly cash-in on the Hole brand. Well, at last, he has:

Furthermore, guitarist Erlandson insists a contract Love signed with him in 2002 bans her from using the name Hole for any future ventures, unless he’s involved. He tells Spin magazine, “We have a contract. She signed a contract with me when we decided to break up the band, which was like 2002 or something, so I really don’t have comment on it except that I know my part in that band. The way I look at it, there is no Hole without me. To put it blunt. Just on a business level… Somebody told me (about Love’s plans) and it just sounds like something… it just sounds like the usual. I love her a lot and I wish her the best, and I’m open to discussions regarding the real Hole, and if she has a solo album together, I think that’s great. I think she should finish it and put it out and do that.”

Of course, Love has responded to this seemingly sound logic with her usual grace, tact, and impeccable grammar… via Twitter.
Click to read more…

The Huffington Post is reporting that Courtney Love and The Wrestler star Mickey Rourke are secretly dating. I find that kinda funny, given that The Wrestler features a line about what a pussy Kurt Cobain was, and Rourke is a known accomplice of Axl Rose, who famously feuded with Love and Cobain back in the day.

But there’s nothing funny about the way Courtney Love’s face looks.

Click to read more…

I saw a pretty fantastic new movie last night called The Wrestler. It was directed by Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain) and stars Mickey Rourke as an over the hill, down on his luck pro-wrestler looking to make amends with his estranged daughter (Marilyn Manson fucker Evan Rachel Wood) and kindle a romance with an over the hill, down on her luck stripper (Marisa Tomei).

ANWAY, the reason I mention it is this: there’s a great scene where Rourke and Tomei are in a bar, and Ratt’s “Round and Round” comes on the jukebox. This inspires a conversation about the two characters’ mutual love of 80’s hair metal and leads to Rourke uttering the line of dialog which serves as this article’s headline – a line of dialog which I found insanely funny and which, to my pleasant surprise, a few thousand other people did, too.

So with all due respect to “that pussy Cobain,” here Ratt performing “Round and Round” in 1984, when they were at the height of their powers. If this don’t start your week right, nuthin’ will.

The Wrestler will be in theaters in the U.S. on December 19. I highly recommend it.

-AR

I remember exactly where I was the very first time I heard Nirvana. I’m sorry to say, I’m not one of those super cool people who already knew the band from Bleach – no, the first Nirvana song I ever heard, like 99% of the rest of the world, was “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” And it was, of all places, in PE class.

See, the American Heart Association or whatever the fuck they’re called was doing some stupid program to encourage jumping rope as a means of getting exercise and increasing cardiovascular health. My school, very much to the chagrin of the student body, decided to participate in said program, and so we ended up being split into groups, and each group had to choreograph some lame routine involving jumping rope in formation and a piece of music.

I don’t remember what song my group chose for our surely awful routine; I don’t remember what song any of the other groups chose for their routines, either, save for that one group that chose – you guessed it – “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

Click to read more…

According to her latest blog post, Courtney Love has attempted to call the IRS to clear up some ID theft and credit card fraud incidents:

whats your best suggestion for clearing up old id theft but MASSIVE old id theft open corps you knew nothing about bogus tax stuff- mine e3as to directkly c all the irs wgh ignored me til my audit THEN they started listening…..now she wants me to back up EVERYTHING ican back up most of it witha document- i feel as tho my karma is good emnough that i wont get burned sonc eim not the one that did the plethora of oh every whiote collar crime you can think of from morgtage fraud to notary fraud to a MASS id fraud abnd 20 some corps oppened on my name, i just found 18 amex histories in the history amex szent me NONE reflected ( wel;l 4) in my legit ss but theres a fake ss number they used too

I can just picture the poor IRS pencil-pushers when Courtney calls up; “Hey, Joe, it’s Ms. Love, AGAIN.” Joe: “Uh, tell her I’m busy and I’ll call her back.” (snickers).

But I mean really, didn’t she steal her own identity years ago with all that plastic surgery? –OR– Serves her right for stealing Kurt Cobain’s identity for profit. <zing!>

-VN