MetalSucks is oh-so-very happy to be teaming up with RED Distribution to bring you, our most beloved readers, the MetalSucks Fan Pack, which will be available exclusively at all FYE stores starting this Tuesday, April 12. Not only does this limited edition box full o’ metal come with a CD featuring twenty brootal tunes by twenty brootal bands (including Kvelertak, Trap Them, Believer, Napalm Death, TesseracT, Thomas Giles, Deicide and a bunch more) but it also comes with that HOLY SHIT THAT IS SO KILLER t-shirt you see above, which was designed by our friend Rodney Githens from Vertebrae 33 (you might also recognize his work from this sexy t-shirt and this Louvre-worthy poster that he did for us).

How much would you expect to pay for this incredible package? Twenty bucks? Fifteen bucks? Try $9.99. That’s right, gang — twenty songs from twenty bands and that guaranteed-to-get-you-laid t-shirt for under ten bucks.

But wait! There’s more! If you act now and head over to the official MetalSucks Fan Pack web page, you can get a coupon for 30%, which brings the price down to a mere seven dollars. Holy crap, that’s a metsieh if ever there was one.

So go here to get a complete track list of all the bands on the comp, and to use the nifty store-finder to locate the f.y.e. nearest to you. And, oh yeah, you can also enter to win this custom guitar:

So, yeah, that’s pretty fuckin’ bad-assed.

-Axl & Vince

You know we’re huge Kvelertak fans here at MetalSucks. So I was stoked to interview their vocalist, Erlend Hjelvik, yesterday. And one of the cooler things to come out of that chat was the news that Hjelvik now has a second band — Djevel. (The name is Norwegian for — you guessed it — “Devil.”)

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I was minding my own business Wednesday night just jeering Carmelo Anthony and cheering Danilo Gallinari, when a friend’s friend whammied my world via donation of one single (!) blast of her super-weed. I knew the ganj was trouble cuz I immediately I began to hack, seize at my own chest, and think “Aw shit. So long, brain.” The remainder of the night was spent in a state of utter cluelessness, all half-formed sentences and puzzled looks. Confusion reigned. Like, I spent like two full minutes trying to fast-forward a regular broadcast of Breaking Bad. It was ugly.

I was pretty out of it, and though I’ve rallied this morning, I still feel pretty out of it. But not in the no-basic-comprehension-skills/can’t-work-a-TV-remote way. More in the sense that, duhhh, I didn’t even know Glassjaw had an EP out since January (thanks, commenters on Axl’s sexy response to Noiseceep’s best songs of 2011 so far thing). I also just discovered that Ghost’s Opus Eponymous is, like, bonerus colossus (thanks, publicity studs/foxes at Metal Blade) and that the Chicago jam “Feelin’ Stronger Every Day” totally jamz like W’OMG (thanks, mutinous car stereo).

Anyway, I’m not so humbled by my ignorance as to come down off my high horse. Maybe I’ll ask my high horse to dismount its high horse, but anyway as I thought of my favorite 2011 jamz so far, it occurred to me that I only overlooked the abovementioned awesome stuff cuz other awesome stuff has been occupying me — mostly the sleeper classic of 2011, Kampfar’s Mare (above). Nobody seems to be talking about this soon-to-be topper of many year-end lists, and that fills me with both elitist rage and writerly self-recrimination. So here, let’s fix this by all cranking the self-titled kick-off jam from Mare (below), which can be yours on Tuesday. Next, we’ll all talk about it and hype it up a ton, like we’ve done for the other awesome, deserving, all genre-fan-inclusive K-name band from Norway. This way, we all rock and feel super-smart! Win-win!

Kampfar’s masterful Mare is out Tuesday on Napalm Records. Get it or be ignorant.

[Read my recaps of Day One and Day Two. -Ed.]

The always-wise Antonin Skullia Esq. said to me on Friday that there’s no such thing as a “first annual,” just a “first ever.” Indeed. So please don’t think I’m gloating when I say that the first ever MetalSucks SXSW event South by South Death was a big success and surely worthy of creating a “second annual.” Meek is Murder, Wormrot, Red Fang, Havok and Kvelertak teamed up for for an excellent day of headbanging, beer-swilling, and sweaty, dirty metal in the cramped punk-rock confines of Headhunters.

And for the night-cap, the definitive most metal of non-metal bands: Chrome-E-Oh. Ohhhhh ohhh!

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[Read my Day One recap here. -Ed.]

If Kvelertak aren’t rich men by the time they release their next album they’ll have seriously blown it. Based solely on the power of their incredible live performances at SXSW, the first of which took place Thursday afternoon inside Emo’s at the annual MS-sponsored Full Metal Texas event, these six Norwegians had major U.S. record labels drooling, kissing the ground they walk on, drinking their piss, shoveling poop down their own throats and throwing gobs of money at them. Expect a major bidding war to erupt over Kvelertak; it’ll be interesting to see where their next album lands. But the truth is, it’s all deserved; Kvelertak RIPPED. Video after the jump!

Day 2 of SXSW also featured the live debut of T.R.A.M., an improvizational jazz/metal supergroup featuring Animals as Leaders’ Tosin Abasi and Javier Reyes, Suicidal Tendencies drummer Eric Moore, and former Mars Volta saxophone player Adrian Terrazas at the WSOU showcase (along with Ultrageist and Meek is Murder). We also caught performances by Goes Cube, Yob and The Red Chord at Full Metal Texas.

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I was not aware of the existence of Singlish until just now, when I watched the below video interview that Invisible Oranges‘ Cosmo Lee conducted recently with Wormrot — but I’m not at all surprised that it exists. Are the band’s lyrics in Singlish? I’ve honestly never really paid attention to what front man Arif was screeching, and, kind of unbelievably, I can’t seem to find any of the band’s lyrics online. One way or the other, though, this is pretty interesting stuff.

While we’re on the topic of Wormrot: if you’re at SXSW this week don’t forget that they’re playing MetalSucks’ ABSOLUTELY FREE South by Southdeath party at Headhunters, at 720 Red River, from 2-6pm this Friday, March 18th. Kvelertak, Havok, Red Fang, and Meek is Murder are also on the bill, and Full Blown Chaos’ Ray Mazzola is MCing. It’s gonna be a killer time so be there. And bring some weed for Vince — he does so much for you!

Wormort’s new album, Dirge, will be out May 3 on Earache. I’ve heard it. It will not disappoint you.

-AR

After seeing that Red Fang are streaming a new song, “Dirt Wizard,” over at AP, I Googled the phrase “dirt wizard” to see if it has any special meaning of which I was unaware. But Google assumed I meant “dirty wizard,” which, according to the Urban Dictionary, is actually a sexual act I personally have yet to try:

“When one waves their dick around while saying ‘abracadabra’ and then cums on the girl’s face.”

It can also mean a dude with long, greasy hair. Red Fang probably meant that. That would make more sense for a metal band.

ANYWAY, the song rocks, and you should check it out. It comes off of Red Fang’s new album, Murder the Mountains, which Relapse will release on April 12.

And don’t forget that Red Fang are playing at our absolutey FREE SXSW party, South by Southdeath, from 2-6pm this Friday, March 18th at Headhunters, 720 Red River Street. Kvelertak, Wormrot, and Meek is Murder are also on the bill, and Full Blown Chaos’ Ray Mazzola is MCing. There are probably other SXSW  shows you could go do at this same time, but only if you’re lame. You’re not lame, are you?

-AR

Havok, the neo-thrash band that makes all other neo-thrash bands look bad, have a new album coming out on Candlelight on March 29. It’s called Time is Up. Yes, it’s terrific — if you dug Havok’s 2009 debut, Burn, you will dig this, and if you didn’t hear Burn, you should hear this, and if you didn’t like Burn, go jump in a fire.

I mention this because Metal Injection have a behind-the-scenes video of Havok in the studio making Time is Up. And you should watch it! Here, I’ll make it easy for you:

If you’re going to SXSW next week, don’t forget that Havok are playing MetalSucks’ ABSOLUTELY FREE South by Southdeath party at Headhunters, at 720 Red River, from 2-6pm on Friday, March 18th. Kvelertak, Red Fang, Wormrot, and Meek is Murder are also on the bill, and Full Blown Chaos’ Ray Mazzola, a.k.a. “One of the Funniest Motherfuckers in Metal,” is MCing. Be there.

-AR

Sure, it’s been a shitty week for Kvelertak and their stateside fans: We reported Saturday that the Norwegian scream-rockers got separated from vital travel documents right before departure for their first-ever US tour dates (including the MetalSucks co-presented SXSW super-jam). That bums me out cuz duh those fuckerz jam (which is good for concertgoers), but moreso because I was pumped for the band’s imminent chance to, like, collect on their roaring buzz here (which is good for them). Okay sorry about that mixed metaphor. But the point is that if I were a member of Kvelertak (please can I be a member of Kvelertak?), I’d want to further enable American rockers to pony up some cash for the record that about a billion of us have possessed/loved for months ahead of its proper US release. All is not lost cuz a bonus track-laden US version of Kvelertak still drops Tuesday, but I can’t help but lament the fact that a string of ballsack-singeing live sets would’ve cranked open a lot more wallets a lot wider. And deservedly so.

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It seems unlikely, improbable, almost impossible… but it’s true; Kvelertak’s U.S. visas and passports were all stolen while the band was on their way to the airport in Norway to begin their U.S. tour. The band posted as much on Twitter last night, and my initial reaction was one of complete disbelief; did they just lose their travel documents and not want to own up to it? forget them at home? not get them in time to begin with? But MetalSucks has verified with officials in the band’s camp that the news is indeed true and not just some cruel practical joke or cover-up.

How this most unfortunate turn of events will affect the band’s U.S. tour is uncertain at this point; at the very least they’ll miss their Scion Rock Fest appearance (today) and the first few dates of their tour with Zoroaster. Our sources tell us that the band is looking into having their travel documents replaced, but that’ll have to wait until at least Monday when the appropriate Norwegian offices open for business. Kvelertak’s appearance at the MetalSucks / Narm / Roxwel.com South by South Death show at SXSW on March 18th with Havok, Red Fang, Wormrot and Meek is Murder is certainly in jeopardy, but we’re trying to be optimistic by hoping that two full weeks will be enough time to sort these issues out. As soon as we have more news, so will you.

Major bummer for us, but most of all a major bummer for the band. I can only imagine the range of emotions they’re all feeling right now. We hope you sort it out, dudes.

-VN

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Reviled by most, enjoyed by the smug, and shrugged off by the belligerently ambivalent. But while most of us couldn’t care less about this specific day in February, it’s still an annoyance that comes around every year. Kind of like the common cold.

Now, most places will have shitloads of “quirky” recommendations you can do with your special someone, even if you’re of the metalhead persuasion. You can hold sweaty hands in the privacy of your parents’ basement, pour each other some classy Motorhead wine, and share a blood pudding in the dreamy light of those church candles. It’s all very nice and sweet to be… nice and sweet.

But you know what’s better? DOING IT. With a killer soundtrack. So on this very special day, I’ve made you all a romantically inappropriate mix tape.

Picking “mood” songs is a little too obvious for my taste. I mean yeah, Faith No More’s “Stripsearch” (Actually, that might be more of a stripping song than a sexing one, but ,hmm, “Evidence” maybe? Heh, “Be Aggressive” might work for some. Either way, Patton’s voice = nudity.) and NIN’s “Closer” are both appropriate (for very different reasons), but that’s no fun. Go forth and find that special someone willing to get, get naked to these select songs. There’s a little something for everyone. St. Valentine would’ve wanted it that way.

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Kvelertak’s self-titled debut was my favorite album of 2010, but it never actually came out in North America. I was lucky enough to get a promo copy from the fine European publicist for the band’s label, Indie Recordings, but other fans from this side of the pond were most likely reduced to illegally downloading the album, or, worse, not getting to hear it at all. Which is a real tragedy, ’cause it KILLS, and ’cause the band deserves your money.

Well, good news: The End is releasing the album in North America on March 15, with SIX bonus tracks to sweeten the deal: live recordings of the songs “Fossegrim,” “Sjøhyenar (Havets Herrer),” “Blodtørst,” and “Mjød” from some BBC Sessions last year, plus demo versions of “Ordsmedar av Rang” and “Utrydd Dei Svake.”

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I have been to practically every South by Southwest Music Festival (SXSW) since the second one way back in the ’80s. I love the atmosphere of the conference, from its much smaller and humbler days back then, to its over-blown monstrous corporate whoredom current-filled state. But as I have noted here in the past, SXSW has almost always been severely lacking in official heavy metal-friendly sanctioned showcases. If you ever wanted to get your real metal fix at SXSW, you usually had to depend on the non-sanctioned day parties that are thrown around town concurrently with the festival.

Not this year!

I can honestly say that the organizers of SXSW have finally woken up to the beast that is heavy metal and have gone out of their way to cater to our needs. Kudos! Huzzahs! and Hurrahs! to them.

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We survived the first week of 2011! WHOO-HOO! Only another forty-nine left ’til our next vacation.

Here’s how we rang in the new year:

• The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks tried to earn his contractually-due incentives.
• We spoke to The Funeral Pyre’s John Strachan.
• We showed mortiferous scorn towards the latest release from Mortiferous Scorn.
• We contemplated the not-so-gentle art of the elephants marching riff.
• We celebrated the soundtrack for Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
• We kvelertranslated Kvelertak’s lyrics.
• We couldn’t believe that Kevin Stewart-Panko is defending Cryptopsy’s The Unspoken King now.
• We watched an Asian girl in her bra and panties rub her vagina against a guitar.
• We learned to stop worrying about SARS and start loving horse meat.
• We did not jizz all over Painted in Exile.

The site will be down for a few hours tonight while we make a few upgrades… yep, MetalSucks just keeps getting better and betterer!

Then next week brings an excellent full-album stream and not one, not two, but THREE song debuts, including a brand new track from one of the most legendary death metal bands of all time. Get excited.

-AR

If, like me, you’ve been listening to Kvelertak’s Kvelertak all these many months since its release with abso-fuckin’-lutely no clue what vocalist Erlend Hjelvik was screaming, you may find this interesting: a YouTube (l)user has translated the Norwegian lyrics for the single “Mjød” into English. I double checked the translation with Google Translate, and, at least according to that site, the translation is more or less correct.

So what, pray tell, does Hjelvik have on his mind? Apparently partying and Norse mythology. Which is more or less what you’d expect, I guess.

Here’s the translation, according to whomever the hell this guy is… I’m leaving all the typos and shitty formatting in tact because I’m not about to make editing the writing of YouTubers my job:

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After posting our own year-end lists for 2010, we asked you, oh ye MetalSucks faithful, to tell us what you thought the best metal album of the year was. And while Ihsahn’s After didn’t win by a landslide the way Mastodon’s Crack the Skye did last year, it did, ultimately, get the greatest number of “yays,” beating Kvelertak’s self-titled album by a mere three votes.

We’d like to congratulate MetalSucks readers for once again demonstrating excellent taste. Now we can all stop arguing about what sucked so bad about 2010, and start arguing about what’s going to suck so bad in 2011!

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

This week’s question was once again suggested by “Hipsters Out of Metal!” columnist Anso DF, and even though the Grammy nominations were actually announced last week, it still seemed like a fun debate to have. So:

WHAT ARE YOUR NOMINATIONS FOR BEST METAL GRAMMY?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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Earlier this year I called Kvelertak’s self-titled release “the feel good hit of the summer,” and gave it four out of five horns up; it deserved at least one half of a horn more. I am struck again and again and again but what a FUN album this is. It has been my pre-game soundtrack of choice since I first heard it in May, and I often find myself smiling while listening to it. And you know how much I hate fucking smiling.

But I can’t help it — this one just makes me wanna party party party. And I guess Chase Macabre at Crustcake agrees, ’cause last week he posted a beautiful ode to this album as a cure for the wintertime blues:

“Feeling seasonal depression yet? Has the sun setting at 4PM these days put you in an abysmal depression you can’t shake? Do you just hate the way your family starts playing Christmas music 24/7 before Thanksgiving day is even complete? Then I may have a blaze of sunshine in the northern sky for you, let Kvelertak be your medicine.”

Chase is dead-on; in fact, I’ve been using this “medicine” recently for this very reason. The sun could die tomorrow and I’d probably still be pretty happy so long as there was Kvelertak cranking.

Read the rest of the Crustcake piece here. And, for real, friends — if you’re not listening to Kvelertak, you must hate your life.

-AR

Yesterday Sergeant D. made a joke about MetalSucks being 25% owned by Epitaph Records. I don’t know why we always foolishly assume that people will understand jokes like that, but they often don’t. And so we saw some comments where people were confused, and we got some e-mails from readers, and even a few from industry types who thought we had sold part of MetalSucks. So it may or may not please you to know that MetalSucks is still 100% owned by Vince and myself. And in the future, if you see something on here that seems kinda weird and ridiculous — e.g., that we’re not partially owned by a record label, or Gary Suarez taking all the credit for a band’s success, or whatever — please just take a moment to ask yourself, “Hey, could these dudes be kidding around?” ‘Cause, y’know. We’re very rarely serious. Except about Valtrex. We’re deadly serious about that.

Speaking of herpes, we’re shutting down early today to go enjoy the long Labor Day weekend. We’ll be closed Monday, but we’ll resume our usual suckiness on Tuesday. We have a whole heap of more premieres, cool contests, and interviews, and all manners of sarcastic assholism, so don’t drink so much this weekend that you forget about us, okay? And in the meantime, here’s a run-down of some fun we had this week:

• We debuted a new song by Daath, and a new song by Black Anvil, and a new video by Insidious Disease.
• Cooking Contaminated is back, y’all! Now with 100% more Rosetta.
• We spoke to Slayer’s Dave Lombardo, Saviours’ Scott Batiste, and everyone in Eyes Set to Kill.
• We checked out new releases by Stargazer, and Turbid North and Otargos.
• They say there are no atheists in the foxholes, but there is Nergal.
• Speaking of religion, this nice lady reverend thinks churchgoers could learn from metal.
• We pondered the meaning of Iron Maiden breaking their sales record.
• Dave Mustaine announced a Big Four U.S. tour from the stage.
• Even though, in the words of Anso, metalheads are “supposed to intimidate and discomfit the squares,” we think the death metal cat burglar went a little too far.
• We saw Kvelertak’s kvelertaks.

Now…TO THE BAR!

-AR

The headline pretty much says it all. At the conclusion of their reason stint playing support for Converge’s European tour, our favorite emerging Norwegian band of 2010 decided to have a little fun and run out on stage naked. They didn’t put a sock over their junk the way, for example, Corey Taylor did when he pulled a similar stunt during a Slipknot tour with Chimaira six or seven years ago, either; the members of Kvelertak let their kvelertaks fly.

But the best part might be the look on Jacob Bannon’s face. Priceless.

Skip to roughly the :36 mark to see more Kvelertak than you ever hoped you might.

And here’s the angle from back stage:

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