MetalSucks

I love the end of the year. I mean, I hate the cold fucking weather, I hate the getting fucking dark outside early, I think the holidays are fucking retarded, New Year’s is a total fucking pain in the pass, and then starting in January no good movies come out for a least a month or two. So that all blows.

But the lists… Ah, the lists! So much arguing to be done over what is really just the opinion of one person or possibly a congregation of a few people! Behold as all the frail egos collapse under the need to have their opinion justified by someone they will never admit they perceive as “important” regardless of the fact that everyone eats and breathes and shits the same way! OH MY GOD, I HAVE SEEN THE MADNESS, AND THE MADNESS IS FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

So. We’re still more than a month away from publishing our own year-end lists here at MetalSucks, but by n0w all those big glossy analog blogs will have collected their staffs’ lists (’cause they gotta get that shit done way in advance, whereas us nerdonauts can procrastinate like we was gettin’ a one-time-only blow job from Bobbie Brown circa 1990), I know of at least one other blog with a looming deadline for all such lists, and now Metal Hammer has proclaimed that “Every day from now until Christmas, we will be revealing a different band/member of a band’s top albums of the year.”

You can see all the lists here. Musicians who have weighed in thus far include Lamb of God’s Chris Adler and Chimaira’s Mark Hunter. Hey, both those dudes were also cool enough to vote in our 21 albums poll! Awesome! So now you can go give Metal Hammer shit for a change.

-AR

I’ve been aware since the release of The Ashes of the Wake that Metallica’s Kirk Hammett is a Lamb of God fan – Kirk was spotted at that album’s release show at the Roseland Ballroom here in NYC – and I’ve wondered in the past if he wasn’t responsible for LoG suddenly becoming a go-to support act for Metallica.

And, hey, lookit: the above screenshot was taken from Chris Adler’s Facebook page, and reveals that Hammet and Adler are now working together on… something.

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So this is pretty ri-goddamn-diculous.

Reader Justin Omidian just brought to our attention that the Kittie song “My Plague,” from their most recent release, In the Black, is a blatant rip-off of Lamb of God’s “Laid to Rest.”

Seriously. As Vince noted, it’s totally egregious. I can’t believe Kittie ever thought they’d get away with this – in fact, I think the only reason it hasn’t made headlines ’til now is because no Lamb of God fans actually like Kittie.

Check it out. Here’s Kittie’s “My Plague”…

…and on the off-chance you’ve never heard it, here’s Lamb of God’s “Laid to Rest.”

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Pretty big week here at the MetalSucks Mansion. We laughed, we cried, we fired someone, we rocked out with our cocks out. Here’s a rundown of the highlights:

• We debuted a new song by The Devin Townsend Project, a new video by Skeletonwitch, a new song by Javelina, and the cover art for Sigh’s new album.
• Horse the Band’s Lord Gold blogged about Nawlins and cocaine, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle gave us an exclusive statement about that whole cup throwing incident, Dallas Coyle is giving away music for free, and Daath’s Eyal Levi talked about a run-in with the Polacks and drum triggers.
• We spoke to Dethklok’s Brendon Small, Converge’s Jacob Bannon, Gojira’s Joe Duplantier, and Liturgy’s Hunter Hunt-Hendrix.
• We checked out new releases from Baroness, The Red Chord, Skeletonwitch, Immortal, Vains of Jenna, Vampire Mooose, and Javelina. Also, some asshole really likes Oceano.
• We’re sponsoring the incredibly awesome Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 with Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis, and Mutiny Within!

Alright. I’m going to see Where the Wild Things Are now. I’m fairly certain that it is going to make me weep like Gary Suarez. See ya Monday.

-AR

When I last spoke with Gojira’s Joe Duplantier about a year ago, the tone of the conversation was overwhelmingly positive; The Way of All Flesh had just been released to critical acclaim, the band had just come over to the U.S. for their biggest tour here to date (supporting In Flames) and everything was hunky-dory in Gojiraland. Fast forward a year, and the conversation is markedly different. Things are still fantastic for the band; The Way of All Flesh continues to sell and to be loved and they’ve toured non-stop all over the world with the likes of Metallica, Slayer and Lamb of God — but all this work has left the band exhausted.

In my recent chat with Joe before their headline show in Brooklyn last month, he explained the double-edged sword of the band’s newfound success — seeing the world, playing to sold-out audiences and opening for childhood heroes Metallica, while at the same time facing the realities of the constant grind of the road, living without a home and the hardships that come with being in a bus with the same 3 other dudes year-round.

Read my full chat with Joe after the jump, and also be sure to check out Axl’s show writeup (summary: they were FUCKING AWESOME!)

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In 2009, my primary interest in Billy Milano is reading the new and creative ways the dudes at Metal Inquistion come up with to give him shit (read here and here for examples). Still, I recognize that once upon a time the dude made good music, and about a gajillion of you e-mailed us the link to this video of him performing S.O.D.’s “United Forces” with Lamb of God (and Doc Coyle!) at a recent Metallica concert. So, y’know, let’s call this one a reader request.

-AR

As you are probably aware, God Forbid guitarist Doc Coyle recently filled-in for Lamb of God’s Mark Morton while LoG played support for Metallica. A video of Doc getting hit in the head with a cup of liquid while performing on that has been the source of much internet banter as of late (see above). Doc has issued the following statement regarding the incident exclusively to MetalSucks.

“I’m sure many of you have seen the video of me getting pegged on stage while I was on Metallica tour filling in for Mark from Lamb of God. Although 95% of the comments were really supportive, I just wanted to clarify a few things about the incident. First off, it was a beer, not a water. A big ol’ tall boy plastic cup of beer, and whoever threw it must have been a quarterback because it was full and hit me square in the eye at full steam. It felt like I got sucker punched. I had a mark by my cheek bone and it was swollen all night. I surprised I didn’t have a black eye. The way it hit me is probably the reason why I reacted the way I did. I’m no tough guy, but I wasn’t really thinking. I just reacted. I really don’t know what I would’ve done if anyone would’ve have owned up to to throwing it, but I have no clue if I would’ve hit the person. I can say that I’m not violent at all, and don’t think violence is a productive way to solve problems. I’m glad nothing came of it, but obviously the person was pretty cowardly to throw it and not own up to it. Anyway, shit happens. I just think it’s kind of funny how it spread on the internet. Beer in the face and all, it was still more than an honor to play with Lamb of God and open for Metallica.”

Awhile back, there was a fan-filmed video of one of the dudes from Attack Attack! getting hit in the head with a cup of water (or, hopefully, something much ickier). And I found that video hilarious. The video is down now “due to a copyright claim” by the band’s label, Rise Records, but that’s bullshit. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of fan-filmed videos of Attack Attack! all over YouTube, all of which, theoretically, violate Rise’s copyright claim. This video was clearly taken down because it’s embarrassing to Attack Attack!

But I digress. I’m really just admitting that I found that video funny, because I’m a huge hypocrite.

See, I don’t find the below video of Doc Coyle getting hit with a cup of water while performing with Lamb of God funny because, well, a) I like God Forbid, b) I like Doc Coyle, and c) I like Lamb of God. So, yeah, I’m biased. If that’s shocking to you, you either don’t read MetalSucks very much, or are not very intelligent.

ANYWAY, one thing I do find funny about this video: Doc taking off his guitar and leaping down off the stage to confront his attacker. No, he doesn’t actually hurt anyone, but, man, I bet he put the fear of God (Forbid!) in whomever that dick wad was.

Skip to roughly 4:22 to see the whole thing go down. Hopefully whomever threw that cup woke up the next day to find that his testicles had, indeed, fallen off in the middle of the night. Assuming he had a pair to lose in the first place.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

Partway through Gojira’s set last night, my knees got wobbly. At first I thought it was just a natural reaction the awesomeness of the French metaller’s ball-rattling live show, but then I realized: “Nope, nope. I’m just really fucked up.” So fucked up that I turned down weed – and I never turn down weed. I went back to the Mansion at a fairly reasonable hour (whereas Vince and Kip were still out partyin’), but since I woke up this morning, I’ve still been feeling the effects of last night’s debauchery. My head fuckin’ hurts, dude.

So with all due respect to you, my loyal readers, who I love and who ensure that we continue to have the best job in the world: I did not want to start my day by calling you “nitwits.” But you’ve left me no choice.

We got a whole bunch of e-mails this morning from people who were concerned because Mark Morton didn’t play with Lamb of God at last night’s LoG/GWAR/JFAC show. There seems to be some serious concern from these fans that the lead guitarist has quit the band.

And that would suck… if it were true. But Morton’s absence from this tour was announced over a month ago. He’s at home with his woman and their new baby, being a dutiful daddy. God Forbid’s Doc Coyle is filling in for him. In fact, here’s a video of Doc playing with the band that Blabbermouth posted yesterday:

So, everyone should remain calm. Mark Morton is still very much a member of Lamb of God. I’m sure he’ll back for the band’s next tour.

More disconcerting: a number of you who wrote in didn’t know who Doc Coyle is. Seriously people: God Forbid. Listen to them. They’re awesome and it’s good for you.

-AR

This is my third Children of Bodom post in as many days. And while I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about Bodom’s new covers disc, Skeletons in the Closet, this commercial is pretty funny. It was directed by Doug Spangenberg, who you might know as the director of videos for artists such as Lamb of God and Job for a Cowboy. Definitely give this a look-see:

-AR

In case you didn’t hear, Patrick Swayze is dead. And while I’ve never seen Dirty Dancing (or Road House… that seems like it might be a major oversight on my part), I did enjoy the man’s work in Point Break (he really jumps from the plane, man!!!) and, more recently, Donnie Darko.

So. Elise at Reign in Blonde found this video of LOG doing a concert back in ‘08, around the time Swayze was initially diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what Randy says right around the 2:10 mark:

“This next song goes out to… our other special guest, who appeared backstage. Believe it or not, Mr. Patrick Swayze is in the house. Un-fucking-believable. Here we go Patrick, this is for you! NOW YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING TO DIE FOR!”

Well, I’m confused. Blythe’s tone sounds pretty sincere, but dedicating a song called “Now You’ve Got Something to Die For” to a dude who just found out he has cancer seems kind of, um, insensitive, for lack of a better word. Was Swayze really in attendance for this show? Is Blythe trying to do something cool, or is he being a dick? If Lamb of God cover “She’s Like the Wind” on their next album, I guess we’ll know the answer.

-AR

This morning, I received the following e-mail from reader Parker Werley:

“How does a band get to earn the proud badge of having -core in their genre?”

That’s a pretty simple question, but it’s also kind of thought provoking. So I thought maybe we could explore it here a little bit. Because, honestly, I’m not sure that I know what the answer is.

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So Vince and I were talking the other day about this question that both of us have wondered about from time to time, and since then I haven’t stopped thinking about it. So here it is: DO ANY OF YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT LYRICS IN METAL?

Is it just the sound of the voice and how it works with the sound of the music, or is it also what the vocalist is saying that matters to you? I’m going to take a guess and say that fans of hardcore and straight edge bands really do care about the lyrics because the bands are representing the ideals and beliefs of their respective communities. But what about in death metal, black metal, or any other genre of metal? When you listen to Necrophagist or Cannibal Corpse or Suicide Silence, can you comprehend what they’re singing about, and do you even care? Is it what they’re singing about, or is it more what it sounds like with the music, or both?

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Wanna know what’s worse than cops that have decided to ruin your day? Customs officials that have decided to make an example out of you.

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I love horror movies. Especially cheap-o horror movies. Sleepaway Camp is like my Citizen Kane; fuck, I even love Sleepaway Camp 2 & 3, where Bruce Springsteen’s kid sister, Pamela, played the killer.

So it says something that even I think that The Graves, a new horror film which will feature an appearance by Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe (here billed as “D. Randall Blythe”), looks like crap. I mean, I obviously really like all the cleavage at the start of the trailer, but otherwise, this looks just awful. Not funny-awful, like Sleepaway Camp, but awful-awful, like any Halloween movie that wasn’t directed by John Carpenter. In other words: VO work for Cradle of Filth is still the best thing Tony Todd has done in years.

Metal Insider – which is where I first saw this trailer – also has footage of an on-set interview with Blythe, where it’s revealed that he plays a deacon. Oh, the irony! I wonder if he eventually gets set on fire?

-AR

It’s no secret that pretty much every band in metal wants to open for Metallica, even if that band’s best days are behind them – and God Forbid are no exception. Since we consider GF like family around the mansion, seeing them fulfill one of their ambitions and get to open for ‘Tallica would be pretty swell.

For better or worse, for right now we’re going to have to settle for Doc Coyle opening for Metallica.

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This made me giggle. I love how spot on AndyRehfeldt and Hao Lam’s arrangement is, especially how well the drums sync up with the video. Someone needs to do one of these for a Slayer song.

-VN

Over at Invisible Oranges, Cosmo Lee has increasingly been writing about metal life in addition to his usual reviews. The topic du jour is what happens when you love a band, but hate other fans of said band. Mr. Lee writes:

Recently I was walking and passed by fans exiting a Lamb of God show: dozens of young men with Affliction t-shirts and no necks. I shuddered and thought, “Man, I’m glad I wasn’t there.” Which is unfortunate, as I actually like Lamb of God. Then I shuddered at another thought. As a fellow fan, am I really like them? Am I somehow at heart a neck-less, Affliction-wearing young man?

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A couple of weeks ago about 10,675 of you emailed us about the kinda-cool-but-not-really-all-that-exciting news that LoG and Gojira will be opening for Metallica on their fall U.S. tour; good for them and all, but tickets will cost a fortune and we’d much rather see each band in a smaller, more intimate setting. So of course now that there’s actually some legit, super-exciting news — that Gojira have scheduled a series of one-off headline gigs in between their shows with Metallica — the grand total of readers who have emailed us so far is…. zero. Seriously, fuck all of you. (update: ONE. Thank you once again to MetalSucks Maniac / our favorite metal Hasid, Josh Kidd!). Kids, Gojira’s NYC headline show earlier this year was easily the best show we’ve seen all year. Easily. “Holy” and “shit” don’t even begin to describe how we felt about the show.

Support on these dates, which start September 21st in Brooklyn, will come from Zoroaster (who are headlining the MetalSucks-sponsored North America is Doomed Tour this Summer) and motherfucking BURST! That’s right, motherfucking Burst, whom I’ve been imploring you all to check out for at least two years. All at the same tiny venue in Williamsburg where we saw Mastodon play Crack the Skye in its entirety; the place holds 300 people, 400 max.

Check out the full list of Gojira headline dates after the jump. If your city isn’t included, fret not — the press release we received says “more dates TBA.”

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Word on the street is that the new Shadows Fall album, Retribution, is one heavy motherfucker, and the first song released off the record, “King of Nothing,” would seem to confirm this. It’s already a shitton heavier than anything off of Threads of Life; this sounds like classic Shads, with enough of a musical progression to keep it interesting. If anyone still doubts that Bachand and Donais can bring the shred, this should shut ‘em up, and my neck already hurts from just one quick listen/headbanging session.

And, of course, having a guest spot by Randy Blythe doesn’t hurt.

Check out the song here. Retribution comes out September 15.

And just for shits n’ giggles, if you’re really bored at work, watch the mediocre Metallica video for the mediocre Metallica song of similar name after the jump.

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