In case ya didn’t hear, Jonah Hex shit the bed at the box office this weekend, getting trounced by the third film in a kiddie franchise, the fifth film in a different kiddie franchise, a movie based on a thirty year old television series, and a movie with Lars Ulrich in it. I’m sure the Mastodon dudes are humbled to know that the Metallicats can still school them.
ANYWAY, a friend of mine actually did see the movie and gave me a little report. He asked that I not use his name, since he wants to be spared the embarrassment of admitting that he actually paid to see this drek. So I’m not going to tell you his name. It does not rhyme with Rank Friley.
Thursday, June 17th, 2010 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
So we had a lot of fun laughing about that Big Four photo yesterday, and then last night on the Metal Injection Livecast (download it here), we had a good chuckle over this second picture, in which Dave Mustaine makes his feelings about James Hetfield perfectly clear:
But I guess some clever publicist or manager was on-hand for this shoot, and saw this picture being taken and was all, “Fuck, this could be a real problem, we better make sure that we get another one where it doesn’t look like these two hate each other.” And that publicist or manager was correct. If Mustaine can play nice with Kerry King, he should be able to suck it up and play nice with Hetfield, too. (And let’s not forget that Scott Ian is no Mustaine fan, either.)
Thus, we also get this picture, which is better insofar as Hetfield is not standing so far away from the rest of the group, but is not better insofar as it is still hilariously awkward:
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
Tonight is the first of the European Big Four shows, and sixteen of the seventeen musicians that now comprise those bands all gathered in one room and put their differences aside long enough to snap this picture (click on it to make it enlarge… heh heh, he said “enlarge”):
Should we over-analyze the reasons why certain people are standing near one another, or far apart, or how they’re standing? Well, this is MetalSucks, ain’t it?
Last month is was announced that Marilyn Manson and the young girl who lets him sodomize her, Evan Rachel Wood, would be co-starring in a retro slasher flick called Splatter Sisters, but other than it having some kind of road movie element, we actually weren’t told very much about the project. Now MTV has spoken to director Adam Bhala Lough, and gotten some details:
“It’s about two 18 year old beautiful drifter girls who go on a murderous rampage across California, killing scores of teenage boys. And they’re under mind control by the leader of this death metal band, this underground death metal band,” [Lough] said.
The death metal band leader in question is Lars, which is Manson’s role. He’s not just a rocker though. Lars also knows how to swing a sword! “There is a lot of samurai shit in [the movie] too because Lars is a samurai,” Lough said. “There is a lot of decapitation, a lot of arms getting chopped off, blood gushing, but in the beautiful way of a Japanese samurai film.”
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 at 11:00am by Axl Rosenberg
I’ve always wanted to ask Brian “Head” Welch if the Jesus tattoo on his hand has been a success as a masturbation deterrent, ’cause I feel like if I really, really wanted to jerk-off, no picture of a deity could ever really stop me. To that same end, I’ve never been sure if having an “X” tattooed on my hand would prevent me from having a drink or smoking weed or putting any number of other substances into my body. But I’ve never gone to rehab, so maybe I just don’t understand the power symbols can have when helping one fight his inner demons.
So. James Hetfield’s struggles with addiction have been about as well documented as any rock star’s struggles with addiction; in Some Kind of Monster, you can watch the guy morph from a grumpy, introverted, inarticulate alcoholic to a talkative, bespeckled and frosted, touchy-feely whimp right before your very eyes. (That’s not a criticism of his sobriety, by the way; his music lost its appeal for me long before he went to rehab, so I’m not someone that believes we’re just a few beers away from Master of Puppets Part II. And I actually appreciate that Hetfield seems to have become a more self-aware and articulate man since he stopped drinking.) But according to Double Cross Webzine, in latest issue of Metallica’s fan club magazine, So What!, Hetfield identifies himself as “a reborn straight edge,” and even got a new “X” tattoo on his hand to prove it.
Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 at 9:30am by Axl Rosenberg
This clip, from the forthcoming Judd Apatow-produced comedy Get Him to the Greek, isn’t all that funny. I’m hoping that’s just because Lars Ulrich is in it, and everything Lars touches these days turns to whatthefuck. Because it would be really neat if this movie was actually funny. It’s a de facto sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall (like Marshall, it was directed by Nicholas Stoller, and Russell Brand plays the same character he did in Marshall - although Jonah Hill, who was also in that movie, does not), and I enjoyed Sarah Marshall. I also really like Jonah Hill; the more shlubby, Jew-y, nerdy-looking movie stars we have, the easier it is for me to get laid. (Although nothing will ever get you into a woman’s pants faster than whispering “I run a metal blog” in her ear.) And I forgive Russell Brand for looking like a fucking alien. YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ALIEN, RUSSELL BRAND. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?!?!?
In any case, the movie can’t be any worse than The Darwin Awards, Ulrich’s last bid to win an Oscar. I already like that Greek takes place in a world where he’s not with Connie Nielsen, because in that world, she’s available. And if she’ll date a midget like Ulrich, then, y’know, we all have a shot. Or she really likes money. But it’s definitely one of the two.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD, RUSSELL BRAND?!?!?
Get Him to the Greek comes out June 4. I’ve put the full trailer after the jump in case you wanna know what the other 89 minutes of this movie are about.
Thursday, May 13th, 2010 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
I don’t watch Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC program on a regular basis the way I once did; if I was still a frequent viewer, though, I might have seen this little bit about the RNC’s decision to hold their 2012 National Convention in Tampa, and Maddow’s subsequent discussion of death metal. Instead, I only came across the clip ’cause reader Nikhil Krishnaswamy sent it to us. Thanks, Nikhil!
Maddow seems to be implying that death metallers from around the area are gonna make life a living hell for the Republicans, but I think that’s overly optimistic. There’s obviously a political component to death metal (I mean burning a fucking inverted cross into your noggin is a political statement as much as it’s an act of shock theater), but I don’t exactly see the members of Deicide and Obituary holding a protest rally outside the convention anytime soon, do you?
Meanwhile, it’s interesting to note that this isn’t Maddow’s first dalliance with metal. For one thing, there’s this:
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010 at 10:00am by Axl Rosenberg
So we had a lot of fun hanging out Nevermore’s Jeff Loomis last night – definitely a very laid back and humble dude, considering that he could probably kill us all with his guitar playing. Attendees included MetalSucks’ own Anton OyVey and Antonin Skullia, Esq., as well as Empyreon drummer Frank Godla (who, despite one of my poorly phrased tweets, has not replaced Van Williams in Nevermore.). When we weren’t passing my iPhone around, enjoying the entries for the Nevermore/MetalSucks “Create Your Own Conspiracy” contest (it ends Friday and there is definitely a front runner already – so enter now if you’re gonna!!!), it should surprise no one to learn that significant portion of the evening was devoted to music dorkery; so while I can’t remember exactly how it came up, at some point Mr. Loomis recommended we all check out MasterTracks18, a YouTube user who has uploaded literally hundreds of individual tracks from various well-known songs spanning different genres – metal and hard rock being primary amongst them.
Of course, it’s all pretty fascinating; you could lose hours of your day listening to all of these. I’ve only listened to a handful myself so far, and I already feel like I’m about to lose hours of my day listening to these. I’m sure all you instrument nerds can are gonna love really getting into the nitty gritty of the various tracks, but even if you’re not an instrument nerd… it’s just a really, really awesome look behind the curtain, so to speak.
You can check them all out at MasterTracks18′s YouTube page, which now, for legal reasons, is segueing to page for MasterTracks19. But in the meantime, here are just a few of my favorites…
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Is it possible that Lars Ulrich is such a douche chill that he won’t even put on his own socks? I mean, we know that the midget is a drummer with absolutely no relationship to his own feet (rimshot!), but I assumed he would, at the very least, have some desire to give the appearance of being above the age of three. But not so, says Contact Music:
The US heavy metal drummer is so demanding, he even likes to have a member of road crew put his socks on for him, according to the band’s singer, James Hetfield.
Speaking no Norwegian TV, James – who is joined in the band by Lars, bassist Rob Trujilo and guitarist Kirk Hamett – said: “For high maintenance and demanding it’s a tie for first place between Lars and Kirk.
“They need what they need, ‘Oh – my shoelaces are the wrong colour’, or, you know. It’s different, we all operate differently.
“I feel better when people are away from me and I can get into my own space; then Lars – he likes people plugging in his earphones, putting his socks on, all of this stuff.”
Do people really compare Reb Beach’s guitar playing to that of Kirk Hammett a lot? I’ve never heard that fucking comparison in my life. I think you know how many hours of my life I’ve wasted sitting around stoned and contemplating metal to a ridiculous degree, and never in any of the many, many conversations I’ve had with friends about the guitar playing of Kirk Hammett or Reb Beach has the other musician’s name come up. I’m not even sure what the comparison would be, other than they’re both shredders. They play completely different styles of metal, and I don’t recall Beach ever being as fond of the wah pedal as Hammett.
My point being, I have no idea why Classic Rock Revisited asked Reb Beach to compare his playing to Hammett’s, but they did. And Reb Beach, as it turns out, is no Kirk Hammett fan. A transcript of Beach’s answer, courtesy the fine folks at Blabbermouth, follows:
Friday, March 12th, 2010 at 12:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Metallica played a show in Bogota, Colombia, on Wednesday night, and I guess everyone in the crowd was all hopped up on some fine Colombian cocaine, because the place went apeshit. There was a riot; three people were stabbed; a police officer was seriously injured; and at least 160 people were arrested.
There’s no word yet on whether or not there’s any truth to the rumors that the riots started after the 30,000 fans in attendance were all forced to listen to the band play post-Justice era material, but there is video of the ensuing chaos:
So it’s good to know that Lars has been trading industry secrets with his pal Axl Rose.
Thursday, December 10th, 2009 at 10:47am by Axl Rosenberg
The good thing about being Rolling Stone is that even though you haven’t been relevant in twenty years, there’s some prestige attached to your name, so you can get famous people whose publicists don’t know any better to do shit for you. The glorified glossy toilet paper’s latest coup is getting a bunch of celebs to list their favorite albums and songs of the decade.
I imagine this will cause a million times more arguing than the lists published by any magazine or website staff, because if frail egos collapse under the weight of differing opinions from writers and other “experts,” than I can only imagine how people will react to finding out that Kirk Hammett likes Sinéad O’Connor more than Meshuggah.
Check out some of the lists from Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, and Tom Morello after the jump.
2009 is an awesome year to be Robb Flynn or anyone in Machine Head. Your band’s been touring non-stop for two and a half years on the well-deserved critical and commercial success of The Blackening, all without doing a single U.S. headline run. You’ve opened arenas for Metallica, huge theaters for Megadeth and Slayer, played on one of the biggest U.S. touring festivals, and quite literally traversed the world several times over. Not bad… not bad at all.
At the start of their U.S. tour with Megadeth, Machine Head’s publicist contacted us about interviewing Robb. The guy’s a character, The Blackening was fantastic, and it’d been almost a year and a half since we last spoke with anyone in the band (guitarist Phil Demmel on the 2008 Rockstar Mayhem Tour), so we figured we may as well. Crazy as it is that the Machine Head machine is still heading on an album released in 2007… it’s true, and they’re not even slowing down.
After the jump, read my full chat with Robb. We spent a whole lot of time talking about things other than Machine Head; the business-like nature of touring with Megadeth (as of interview time, he hadn’t once seen Mustaine in person on the entire tour!), the down-to-earth nature of hanging out with his heroes in Metallica, mentoring the young lads of Suicide Silence, and the always entertaining subject of the constant feuding between Slayer, Metallica and Megadeth. We also chatted about Machine Head’s constant touring — a dream come true for Robb — and about what the future might hold for the band, including their next album (writing has begun). And wouldn’t you know it, Robb reads MetalSucks!
Friday, November 20th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
From a Rhythm magazine interview with Dave Lombardo that I saw on Blabbermouth:
Rhythm: Playing with METALLICA at Download in 2004 must have been quite an experience.
Lombardo: “Yeah. Show ‘em how it’s done! No disrespect to Lars [Ulrich], because Lars is great and he’s a very nice guy, but he needs to spend a week at my house and we need to sit down and play. I could show him — ‘No, Lars, like this!’… ‘Let’s chill, let’s relax, have some coffee and let’s play!’ Hahahahaha!”
If you’ve ever seen/heard this show, then you’re already aware that Lombardo ain’t dicking around – he and Joey Jordison both made Metallica sound at least 95% better (alas, Hetfield still insists on using those honky-tonk “wom-ahn” vocals he’s become so fond of). Check it out:
And while we’re on the topic, here’s Jordison playing with the band:
Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 12:01pm by Axl Rosenberg
I’m not convinced that any live DVD filmed after about 1992-ish will be particularly flattering to Metallica, but maybe I’m wrong. I haven’t seen them on the Death Magnetic tour – I haven’t seen them since 2006, actually – so maybe they’re killing it out there. Maybe James’ voice is 100% and Lars Ulrich took drum lessons. I dunno.
I guess I’ll find out November 23, when the band releases Francais Pour Une Nuit, a DVD documenting a French concert from this past July. But here’s the kicker: the DVD will only be available in retail stores in… France. Everyone else will have to order it from the band’s website. So, uh, yeah. Not sure what the benefits of doing that are – more profit into the band’s pocket, less shared with retailers, I guess – but there you have it.
You can watch a trailer for the DVD here (it’s not embeddable because Metallica don’t love their fans anymore). After the jump, get details of the various editions of the DVD, plus the complete track list.
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
I actually think that Metallica’s Live Metallica website is a cool idea. Even if James’ voice sounds like shit and I’m pretty sure Lars is literally confused about what those sticks some roadie just shoved into his hand are for, a high-quality recording of a show you recently attended is both a cooler and cheaper souvenir than, say, and $400,000 t-shirt (or whatever arena rawk bands charge for merch these days). And I fully support their recent decision to allow single-song downloads. Yes, it’s kind of ironic given the Napster mishegoss, but, y’know, whatever. Metallica aren’t the titans of metal that they once were, but every now and then they do something right.
Now Metal Insider tells us that they’ve launched an iPhone app version of the site, called – duh – Live Metallica:
Friday, September 25th, 2009 at 12:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
If I had a biological clock, I’d worry that’s it’s ticking. Because this is my second story about little kids today.
Reign in Blonde has made the awesome discovery of Jonah Rocks, who is a) the only four year old I’ve ever seen that can play the drums, and b) the only four year old I’m aware of that already has a stage name. He also seems to have an endorsement deal with Vic Firth. Holy poop.
For reasons that are totally beyond me, the videos of this lil’ tyke rockin’ out are not embeddable, but if you go here, you can watch Jonah play “Harvester of Sorrow” with more skill and passion than Lars Ulrich has displayed in years.
After the jump are some more links to Jonah playing. Some of these videos were made when he was only three years old!!!
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
The always-brilliant Rob Pasbani of Metal Injection was going through his usual daily routine – wake up late, wander over to computer, get high, play on computer, remain in boxers, fail to bathe… y’know, the life of your average blogger – when he made an amazing discovery: Google’s suggestions for popular searches related to metal are actually pretty dead-on. To wit, this non-altered, completely, 100% real screenshot:
AMAZING, right? Now if only iTunes and Netflix could actually make some decent recommendations based on my previous purchases and rentals.
Head over to Metal Injection for more incredible screenshots of metal-related Google search suggestions.
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 12:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
If any two of the big four bands tour together, I think it’d be a pretty sweet show. Any three? Fucking amazing. But all four? That would have to be some kind of miracle, right? I mean, half these dudes hate each other. King and Mustaine practically make their living talking shit about Metallica – and one another, for that matter. So it’ll never happen, right?
Well, King now tells Metal Hammer otherwise. Sort of.
Now the nausea’s
In my guts
And I’m wrestling with doubt
The kind you get when your heroes
Sell you out
And as I watch the drawbridge come down
There’s mass extinction
On my mind
Human cruelty stains my thoughts jet black
I’ve got this feeling
Like things have gone too far and now we can’t get back
Here’s more fun shit that happened in the world of metal this week:
Vince gets back from vacation tonight right around the time Repulsion take the stage, and then tomorrow, hopefully, Craig’s List will lead us to some Tool tickets. See ya Monday!
