Seriously, can you think of anything more embarrassing and less cool than watching a well-known vocalist get up at a karaoke bar and, out of the literally thousands of available songs to perform, choose his own? Y’know, just in case everyone else in the joint wasn’t aware that it was him?

And wouldn’t it be even sadder if that idiot chose not only to perform his own song, but to perform his own song that was a hit, like, almost thirteen years ago? As if to say “No, really, I WAS A BIG DEAL ONCE!!!”

I mean, what kind of yutz would do such a thing?

From TMZ:

“Fred Durst partied like it was 1999 Monday night — reprising the classic Limp Bizkitsong “Nookie” at an L.A. bar … and it was all caught on tape!”

Facepalm.

The worst part is that in the video, Fred is rapping along not to a standard karaoke backing track — but to a friend beatboxing. In other words, they didn’t even have the song available for performance, but Durst insisted on doing it anyway.

Oh, Fred. I almost feel bad for you… almost.

Click the below screen cap to watch the oh-so-pathetic video.

-AR

[via The PRP]

UPDATED:

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Earlier this week, Fred Durst tweeted that there would be  “huge Limp Bizkit news” in December. Well, it’s December, and here’s the huge news: Metal Insider reports that during a recent interview on  Poolside with Dean Delray (whatever the hell that is), Durst revealed that the band is no longer with their longtime label –

“One of the things with Gold Cobra was that that was a record, for us, to do for ourselves, for the core fans, for some of the people that we know in the industry — its wasn’t our step forward to make a big pop, smash radio record; we just didn’t wanna make that record at that time… We have been working for awhile now to renavigate where we are going to take Limp Bizkit, and finally we have been able to get off our label and become independent.”

Click to read more…

OMG U GUISE, Fred Durst has promised that some “huge Limp Bizkit news” is going to be announced in December. (See above tweet for details.) I am, obvs, totes excited.

What do you think it could possibly be????????? Here are some thoughts I had:

Click to read more…

“The ’90s were a challenging decade for metal,” opens Loudwire writer Joe Robinson. You got that right! ’90s nostalgia hasn’t firmly set in for metal yet; Limp Bizkit’s new record tanked, less people are interested in Korn than ever, and some of the more credible ’90s acts from Europe never even stopped to take a drink of water. But that hasn’t stopped Loudwire from publishing a “Top 11 Metal Albums of the ’90s” list. For once, I think this topic is quite ripe for list-making given metal’s widespread unpopularity during the decade. Sure, decades themselves are artificial constructs with which musical trends don’t neatly align (hair metal was still huge in ’90 and ’91 and the true stuff was already filtering back in by the end), but they do provide convenient language for discourse, much like metal sub-genres aren’t always perfect but give us some kind of approximation of what a band sounds like.

Loudwire’s list is actually pretty solid; it’s hard to argue that any of these albums shouldn’t be included on a best-of-the-’90s metal list, and I love the inclusion of Alice in Chains and Tool. I could do without Korn’s debut, but I know it was important to a lot of people and it certainly left its mark on the metal landscape. I have a hard time believing Anthrax’s Persistence of Time would’ve appeared on this list had the band not just released a new album. The list completely omits European bands, and I think In Flames’ The Jester Race, Whoracle or Colony — any one of ‘em — deserve a nod for all the impact they had on metal to come. For that matter, how about At the Gates? Or Refused’s Shape of Punk to Come? And what ’90s metal list is complete without Nevermore or Iced Earth, two bands that essentially flied in the face of “cool” and held up giant middle fingers?

But whatevs… it’s a list, and therefore cannot be perfect. Go check it out here, then come back here with your arguin’ pants on and tell us what you think the comments.

-VN

Thanks: Andrew Robbins

Well, here’s two pieces of news I think you’ll find to be completely bizarre, albeit in very different ways –

Click to read more…

Because unlike Limp Bizkit, Korn keeps finding new and innovative ways to be completely unlistenable. A press release for the band’s nu-dubstep-metal album, The Path Of Banality, claims that “this is unlike any Korn record.  It’s even unlike any record released before.” And that’s not just hype. Korn have reinvented the art of being the worst band on the planet, and, thus, become relevant again. We can ignore Limp Bizkit, who are still using the same tricks they were over a decade ago, only with diminishing returns; but nearly twenty years into their career, Korn are as deplorable as they ever were, genuinely competing with younger acts like Skip the Foreplay for the honor of making music so awful it may actually inspire rioting by anyone with a first grade education and functioning ears.

Bravo, Korn. Bravo!

The Path of Tonedeafality comes out December 6 on Roadrunner. The band will follow it up with an entire dubstep tour, which, again, is a completely brilliant move on their part. You can get dates on some other website.

-AR

You guys have all seen Wet Hot American Summer, right? Well, remember this scene?

Okay, now read this.

Then close your eyes for a moment and imagine the scene above, only Sergeant D. is the popular girls (it won’t be hard), and Frankie Palmeri is the D&D dork (it won’t be hard).

Got that image in your mind’s eye?

Great. Now check this out:

Click to read more…

A bunch of big records came out last Tuesday: Suicide Silence, Fair to Midland, Sepultura and Decapitated. After the jump we’ll take a look at how those and a few recent releases sold over the past week.

But first, a follow-up on a question I asked in last week’s column: how do the numbers for Arch Enemy’s Khaos Legions stack up against their past releases? I don’t have week-by-week breakdowns for each album to compare to Khaos Legions‘ cumulative total of 13,944 after five weeks, but these total sales figures for Arch Enemy’s best-selling albums should provide some frame of reference:

Anthems of Rebellion: 74,712
Doomsday Machine: 108,036
Rise of the Tyrant: 55,812
Wages of Sin: 71,688

With Khaos Legions falling off the charts in week six, that means they sold less than 1,092 units last week, the minimum number required to crack the Top 100 Hard Music Chart. Based on that I’d say it’s going to be a tough climb for Gossow, the Amotts and co. to match their past success this time around.

ANYWAY, back to last week’s big releases:

Click to read more…

You will be happy to know that Limp Bizkit did not claim the #1 spot on the Top Hard Music charts again this week. That spot belongs to… Pop Evil. Who? Not Limp Bizkit, that’s who.

Aside from Unearth, there weren’t any notable debuts to chart last week. After the jump, a look at how the latest records from Black Dahlia Murder, In Flames, and many more fared on the marketplace of over-priced pieces of plastic and soon-to-be-obsolete digital files.

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Let’s give Axl Rosenberg a hearty golf clap for capably handling Neilstein Soundscam while I was away, shall we? But the party is over, so it’s back to the grind of boring albums selling soon-to-be insignificant pieces of plastic (and soon-to-be insignificant digital files once Spotify launches).

You should all be elated to learn that Limp Bizkit claimed the #1 spot on the Hard Music charts last week (#15 overall), so let’s all take a great big sigh of relief in knowing that good music reigns supreme.

I keed. Queensryche had a solid debut, while In Flames, Symphony X and The Black Dahlia Murder had decent second weeks despite large percentage drops. Check out the numbers for those and several others after the jump.

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Pretty slow week in metal releases, seeing just some new releases from Queensryche, the bass player from The Faceless, and also some band called Limp Bizkit. Details on this week’s latest metallic offerings after the jump!

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MetalSucks tipster extraordinaire Hetal Bhatt sent us the below video, and while it has nothing to do with metal, it did make me laugh, and I did forward it to friends. So, enjoy:

And on that note, here’s some stuff we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Chimaira, Cannabis Corpse, and S.O.S.
• We debuted a new music video from Sleeping Giant.
• We got new gear tips from Periphery’s Misha Mansoor and Revocation’s Dan Gargiulo, and we spoke to Michael Amott from Arch Enemy.
• We checked out the latest releases from Decapitated, The Black Dahlia Murder, Limp Bizkit, and Wormrot.
• We pondered a world in which concertgoers can’t film shows with their iPhones.
• We marveled that anyone finds Tosh.0 to be funny.
• We wondered which deathcore frontman has the best tattoos.
• We found the worst line-up for a festival ever.
• We chose our favorite extras from the new Annotations of an Autopsy video.
• We broke the bad news that vocalist Chris Clancy and keyboardist Drew Stavola are both out of Mutiny Within.

You’ve got one more week with me and me alone before Vince comes back. Deal with it, fuckers.

See ya Monday.

-AR

Twelve years ago, Limp Bizkit released Significant Other, and an ungodly amount of casual acquaintances and friends of friends told me that I had to check it out. But I saw the video for “Nookie” and immediately knew that, dear heavens no, I most certainly did not have to check it out. And it was bad enough that Limp Bizkit could actually be a make-it-or-break-it point in a friendship; I once knew a millionaire alcoholic who declared my clothes to be “welfare,” but loved Limp Bizkit so much he got a black eye in one of their pits, so I felt pretty confident that anyone who even liked Limp Bizkit was more worthless than the plaque I brushed off my teeth in the morning.

But for the next, oh, I dunno, five years or so — I knew the tide had turned circa Ozzfest ’03, when Lamb of God and Hatebreed were all the rage and Otep was the only nu-metal artist on the whole bill — anytime someone who didn’t really know me would find out that I listened to metal, they would inevitably bring up Limp Bizkit or Korn. Consequently, I beat a lot of people to death with a rusty lead pipe during those years, and am now forced to write under an alias so as to conceal my true identity from the authorities.

So I don’t know what it says about me that I don’t think Gold Cobra deserves an especially harsh beatdown for its sins.

Click to read more…

Reader John Schwarz alerted us to the existence of the Epicenter Festival, and if you told me that the show’s bookers designed it specifically to make sure that no one from MetalSucks attended, well, I’d believe it. Look at this shitfest:

There are a handful of insanely popular, maddeningly terrible modern rock acts not on the bill — Nickelback, Korn, Linkin Park, Godsmack, Creed, and Hinder all come to mind — which is too bad, because if they were playing this fest, we’d be like one major earthquake away from being done with some of the worst bands in the history of sound. The only good news about this thing’s existence is that it has made me aware of several awful bands I didn’t previously know, so that now if anyone is ever like “Hey, wanna check out Skillet?”, I can respond, “Couldn’t you just hammer a rusty nail into my penis instead?”

-AR

[via Badass]

So the three-day weekend kinda threw our schedule out of whack; you may have noticed that we still haven’t finished announcing the line-up for our Magical Mystery Tour, and we didn’t get to finish our list of The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists, either. Both of those blessed events will go down next week, though, when we’re back for a full five days! So get stoked.

In the meantime, let’s review all the fun we managed to pack into this week’s abbreviated set:

• We debuted new music from four bands signed to Black Market Activities — Ed Gein, Engineer, Fit For An Autopsy, and Khann — as well as new music from Bloodlights.
• We spoke to some guy named Devin Townsend.
• Woods of Ypres’ Shane Madden continued his exclusive tour blog for us.
• We checked out the latest release from Autopsy.
• We celebrated the amazing amazingness that is the album art for Opeth’s Heritage.
• We were not surprised to learn that Emmure’s Frankie Palmeri is completely lacking in originality.
• We wondered if metal is a movement of the youth, inapplicable in its rebellion and ferocity to us olds.
• We made the case for the movie Jennifer’s Body as an underrated cinemetal masterpiece.
• We actually had something nice to say about Limp Bizkit (sort of).
• We introduced you to the future of appliancecore.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. You will always be at the forefront of our thoughts, dreams, and prayers.

-AR

Metal Hammer and The PRP are both reporting that the below is the new album art for Limp Bizkit’s Gold Cobra, the comeback a recent New York Times poll tells us is anticipated by more people than any event save for Jesus’ rising. At first I thought it was a joke, but, no, it’s on Wikipedia now, too, so it must fo’ reals, as Fred Durst himself might say.

And, well… it’s certainly an improvement over the old album art. And is that a clever allusion to Macbeth I spy?

No, it’s probably just the Kardashian sisters. Common mistake.

So anyway. There. I said something nice about Limp Bizkit kind of! Feeling is healing, y’all.

Gold Cobra comes out June 28 on Interscope, which means I may actually have to do what I promised Vince I’d do like a million years ago and review it. FML.

-AR

“Ooh no!”

“Macho Man” Randy Savage has perished. My father and I were actually at his first wedding, which is to say, we were at Summer Slam ’91. Vince and I are so bummed right now… I don’t think I can even go outside. I need to curl up with YouTube and remember a time when the “Macho Man” really did seem invincible.

We’ll never forget you, Mr. Savage.

Maybe this will cheer you up?

• We lied and said that Iwrestledabearonce were becoming a black metal band. Then, depending on your perspective, we either made it better or made it worse by debuting a new track from the band.
• We also debuted a stretched-out version of Hammerfall’s “Hearts on Fire.”
• Our list of the The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists continued.
• We spoke to Max Cavalera from Cavalera Conspiracy and Soulfly, Dean Herrera and Henry Selva from The Human Abstract, and the dudes from Noisear.
• We enjoyed a series of exclusive tour blogs from both The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley and Woods of Ypres’ Shane Madden.
• We gushed over Anaal Nathrakh’s Passion.
• We wondered why elitists find some deathcore bands acceptable and others unacceptable.
• We declared metal the winner in the war on grunge.
• We expressed our enthusiasm for Victory Records’ latest sign, Design the Skyline.
• We gave you a detailed analysis of the lyrics for the new Limp Bizkit single.
• We declared drinking to be for pussies.

Next week crack the top ten of our ongoing guitarists list, and, at least to the best of my knowledge, do not aid any bands in playing a prank on the public. And hopefully no one else we liked better than Fred Durst dies.

-AR

I got home from last night’s ridiculously, ludicrously fun Dillinger Escape Plan’s show at The Music Hall of Williamsburg in the wee hours of this morning to find a new Limp Bizkit single, “Shotgun,” in my inbox. (The above cover art was apparently done by Wes Borland. Good to know he’s multi-talented.) And even though I was riding high on the buzz of DEP (and other things) and should have just gone to sleep, I decided, no, let me listen to this right now, and in doing so take my joy out back behind the barn and shoot it dead.

And shoot it dead I dead.

There’s a lot about this song that is just bad in a regular, fairly boring way — like the main riff, which is pretty standard 120 Minutes stuff.

But then there are parts of this song that are so phenomenally terrible as to be truly worthy of the name “Limp Bizkit.”

Click to read more…

From the Brisbane Times:

“A Sunshine Coast man was bashed to death, put in a shopping trolley and dumped in a creek following a drunken fight over music selection, a court has heard.

“The court was told Emmanuel McPherson, 48, objected when his flatmate, James Albert Madden, played a Limp Bizkit album on Mr McPherson’s stereo.

“A fight then broke out, in which Mr Madden allegedly beat Mr McPherson to death.”

Holy shit, dude. I agree that it’s obnoxious to make someone listen to music they don’t wanna listen to, and I agree that Limp Bizkit is pretty much the worst sound in the history of hearing, and I know we all do dumb shit when we’re fucked-up, but, whoa, too far, man! There’s lots of better ways to handle a situation like this. For example, you could, I dunno, start a blog to provide you with an outlet to vent your vitriol in a manner that will hurt people’s feelings but leave their bodies unharmed. (They can’t send you to jail for hurting people’s feelings, although they can threaten to sue you.) That’s just a random idea I came up with off the top of my head, too. There’s probably also other, simpler ways to calm yourself, like pop in a set of ear plugs, or, better yet, a valium.

-AR

Thanks to twisted-freak for tip!