MetalSucks

We loved the last tour blog that Bison B.C.’s Dan And did for us so much, we’re only all-too-happy to present another! Below, please enjoy part 2; you can read part 1 here.

Sep 28 ‘09 (Albuquerque NM @ Launch Pad)

The first thing that struck me about this venue was the framed posters that line the walls… Melvins, High on Fire, Fu Manchu… some killer bands have been through here over the years. I was also struck by how nice and clean Albuquerque seemed. I would later find out that the town is ranked in the top five for violent crimes in the US. Okay then, never mind.

Played with a rad band called Roñoso. Weirdest guitar tone ever but it totally worked in their crust-saw sound. Kylesa sounds fucking huge tonight. Their (hilarious) sound guy Dave is working the system like it owes him money… and it probably does.

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Elise over at Reign in Blonde found this fan-filmed footage of Weezer doing what is actually, as she notes, a pretty decent cover of Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” Which isn’t entirely shocking, given that Weezer mastermind Rivers Cuomo is a known metalhead; of course, he’s also a self-professed Limp Bizkit fan, so I guess we should just thank our lucky stars he’s not running around covering “Eat You Alive” or whatever.

Actually, scratch that. Weezer covering Limp Bizkit might be hilarious, in that ironic emo hipster douchebag kind of way. Especially if they incorporated the rapping.

-AR

Here’s Fred Durst back in July, shortly after he married Esther Nazarov (whomever the fuck she is):

“I love being married and I am the luckiest man alive to be so in love. It took me 38 years and was absolutely worth the wait. Every path has led me here. I’m hers, she’s mine, forever.”

And here’s Freddy yesterday:

“For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support.”

By the way, he made that little announcement over Twitter. Classy.

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Pure comedic gold. The pacing is a bit off and the video way long (it could’ve been just as funny at half the length), but the guy’s heart is completely, 100% in the right place. Also, the faux-NY accent is a bit bizarre… but whatevs. Anything that makes fun of Fred Durst is aight in our book.

-VN

[Thanks: Jeffrey Grasske]

I love YouTube vocal covers. LOVE THEM! There’s something about teenagers bearing their souls (awfully) for all the world to see that just hits me in that special place.

So today we take a look at the very best YouTube has to offer of Limp Bizkit vocal covers. Let’s go!

The best part of this one is definitely this dude’s atrocious facial hair styling, but almost as astounding is how accurately he imitates Fred Durst’s whiny interpretation of this George Michael classic:

After the jump… more Limp Bizkit vocal covers. Click! You know you wanna. The best is yet to come.

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This is a story about a band I don’t care about getting involved in some drama with a band I haven’t cared about in at least fifteen years. But it’s still kinda amusing, so I’m posting it.

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I started learning to play guitar when I was eleven. That was also the year I had my first guitar recital (which I realized even then wasn’t cool, but what was I gonna do, tell my parents to take the lessons I’d asked for and blow ‘em out their collective ass?). I probably sounded like I was playing with broken fingers, but everyone applauded when I was done because, well, I was eleven years old and it was my first time playing in front of people and that’s what you do when an eleven year old kid is showing some effort.

But why the fuck anyone would applaud for this is just way, way beyond me.

Actually, I think he’d sound better if someone broke his fingers. Certainly couldn’t hurt.

-AR

Thanks to twisted_freak for the tip.

Thanks to MS Maniac Aaron M. for pointing out the hilariousness that is ensuing over at Ross Robinson’s Twitter account re: the new Korn record. Yeah, Robinson is producing the new Korn record — somehow I missed that too.

I have somewhat of a difficult relationship with Ross Robinson. On one hand he produced one of the bestest albums ever in the form of At the Drive-In’s Relationship of Command, and he also produced landmark albums by Glassjaw and Slipknot. On the other hand he produced way more albums that are just all sorts of terrible — records by Limp Bizkit (this in and of itself is a crime worthy of corporal punishment), Korn, Cold, Soulfly, Machine Head’s cringe-worthy rap-metal phase, and Vanille Ice’s nu-metal “comeback” record. As a producer who was definitely pigeonholed into a genre (rightly or wrongly), unsurprisingly Robinson hasn’t had a whole lot of work lately.

But he sure got a nice money gig for the new Korn joint. And he’s all sorts of excited about it! Here we go:

Korn, Day one: pikt out drums/cartage broke wheel of my 24 trk tape mchn/fairchild on cymb/made catbox/knee wnt out of socket-kicks ass12:01 AM Aug 6th

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MetalSucks Maniac Matt Fields sent us the below video with this simple message:

“I really do not see what credential this man has to criticize Limp Bizkit.”

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As ’90s nu-metal nostalgia reaches its peak (I FUCKING CALLED IT!), the parade of cash-grab nu-metal reunions continues. Joining the ranks of Limp Bizkit, E-Town Concrete, Crazytown, Snot, Cold, Slaves on Dope, and other terrible ear-raping bands I’m surely forgetting, TuneLab.com is reporting that Adema are reuniting and releasing a new DVD. Adema was never really known for much other from a) sucking, b) lead singer Marky Chavez being the half-brother of Korn’s Jonathan Davis. A guy I know once referred to Adema as “Pop-Korn” in casual conversation, and that’s pretty much the most hilarious / accurate thing that could ever be uttered about the band. Not to imply that Korn are genre-bending revolutionaries or anything… but, ya know.

Here’s Adema’s music video for “The Way You Like It” in case you need to be reminded of just how awful they were. I’d completely forgotten about this song… for the better.

At least American Head Charge just called it quits.

-VN

Uncle Vinnie is back; under a moon-lit sky at Saturday night’s Tool show in New Jersey, Axl and I had “a moment” and kissed and made up.

Seriously though, folks, I was just on vacation at the MetalSucks Mansion Kentucky Korner. Did some of you ninnies actually believe I quit?

Wouldn’t be surprising given all the feuding that’s gone down in metal this summer already, though, and we haven’t even reported on the tummy-tickling beef between Machine Head and Limp Bizkit.

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You know what? I owe Fred Durst an apology. No, seriously. I just read his latest interview with Rolling Stone, and now I know the truth: Freddy isn’t a total douche chill. His music has just been misinterpreted all these years, co-opted by “bullies and assholes.” All he ever wanted was to make sensitive, romantic music for sensitive, romantic people. Like his heroes in The Cure.

How did it ever come to this? Let’s investigate. After the jump, check out some choice quotes from the interview, contrasted with some of Mr. Durst’s lyrics in bold.

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[From Delfi.lv, via MS Maniac Phillip W.G.]

Vince is in Kentucky scouting land for a SECOND MetalSucks Mansion and against the advice of Gary Suarez and my own instincts, I’m off to see Terminator Salvation. We shan’t be posting Monday ’cause it’s Memorial Day, but we’ll be back Tuesday. In the meantime, here’s some shit that happened this week:

• We did a video interview with IWRESTLEDABEARONCE! We also spoke with The Haunted’s Peter Dolving, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle, and Unholy.
• We stole Daath’s Eyal Levi away from Headbanger’s Blog.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima graced us with another totally excellent studio blog.
• Corey Mitchell says this is the best album of the year so far.
• Fuckface Durst finally went too far.

As Baz would say, “I’ll be Bach.”

-AR

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

To review: last year Wes Borland joined Marilyn Manson. This seemed a little odd because while Manson and Borland both like to play dress-up, Manson is a known Limp Bizkit hater – a fact which Manson explained away at the time by claiming that Borland “used to be in a really terrible band that he left because he felt that it was a destructive force in art.”

Of course, this little marriage didn’t last very long because Borland went running back to Bizkit, thus making Manson look like a fool or, at best, pretty naieve.

So, of course, Manson being the God of Shit Talkers, he has now lashed out at Borland in Kerrang:

“We almost made the mistake of having Wes play guitar but he re-joined Limp Bizkit,” Manson explains. “That move forever eradicated my feelings on his choices in life as an artist.”

When asked why he thinks Borland went back to his old band, Manson said: “That is what I find myself asking when I urinate sometimes. He said he would never go back. If the reason is money, then I’d rather roll up a 5 note and shove it up my urethra. I’d rather set my dick on fire than join something that I hated.”

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Scars on Broadway didn’t work out. I’m still not entirely sure why. There seems to be some consesus that their album sucked, but I didn’t think so at all (and neither did my colleague Sammy O’Hagar, who reviewed the record). In any case, it’s a moot point, because at the end of the day, all any of us really want is for System of a Down to get back together already.

And I suspect no one wants that more than drummer John Dolmayan, who apparently auditioned to be the new drummer for Smashing Pumpkins. Because there’s really only two possible reasons he might have done this:

1. He’s bored.
2. He’s broke.

For the sake of humor, let’s assume Dolmayan is broke.

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Fuck me naked with a spoon.

Last night we got what looked like a mass e-mail from someone claiming to be Wes Borland, announcing that he was, once again, out of Limp Bizkit. Upset that Fred Durst has apparently committed to direct another movie in August instead of touring North America with Bizkit, sissy cry baby face Borland complained in the e-mail that “Fred has once again proven that he does not view Limp Bizkit as a legitimate artistic endeavor but, rather, as a commodity… I will spend my summer touring with Marilyn Manson instead.”

We dismissed this e-mail as a terrible April Fool’s joke, as I’m assuming any other media outlets that received it have as well, as it I’ve yet to see it reported anywhere. And I wouldn’t have thought twice about it… if not for this series of tweets from one Mr. Frederick Durst:

wes couldn’t hang… out with the old, in with the new. 8:10 PM yesterday from TwitterBerry

new guitarist is da bomb! 9:29 PM yesterday from TwitterBerry

ever wonder what break stuff sounds like with an awesome shred solo? 10:26 PM yesterday from TwitterBerry

let the countdown to egstinction [sic] begin! 11:05 PM yesterday from TwitterBerry

1st rehearsal over… time to go home n rust in peace 1:19 AM today from TwitterBerry

Well, Durst’s horrific spelling aside, I was now more than a little nervous about all the classic Megadeth references and talk of “shred solos.” Since we get a press release every time the Japanese go ape shit because Marty Friedman farted or whatever, I shot his publicist an e-mail basically asking if she knew what the hell was going on. I honestly thought I’d get an e-mail back telling me she had no idea what the crap Durst was talking about and my pot-addled brain was reading way too much into the mindless ramblings of the mentally deficient.

But here is the absolutely horrifying response I got instead:

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My prediction of the apocalypse has come true and Metal Inquisition’s Sergeant D has gotten his wish; Crazytown are back together, with a new album reportedly due this year.

Well, it’s been nice knowing you all; sure was fun while it lasted. Excuse while I go cower in the cave beneath the MS Mansion. I think there’s some monkey poo that needs cleaning up down there or something.

-VN

Faith No Mania continues!

Following the news that the legendary Faith No More are, in fact, reuniting, it has just been announced that they will headline the opening night of this year’s Download Festival in the UK. Slipknot and Def Leppard will headline the following nights.

Oddly enough, the FNM-inspired nu-metal acts that Mike Patton has repeatedly professed hatred for, Korn and Limp Bizkit, will play earlier that same day.

Will Patton make fun of Fred Durst from the stage? Will Nikki Sixx throw a fit that Motley Crue’s umpteenth tour isn’t nearly as newsworthy? Can FNM’s performance even possibly live up to expectations? I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.

On a side note: I know some non-European readers have been freaking out because the band allegedly has no plans to tour the rest of the world right now. All I can say is: chill. We have it from a good source that this reunion is going to last quite awhile. Just be patient.

-AR