Last year As I Lay Dying guitarist Nick Hipa mentioned to Axl that, like the editors of MetalSucks, he is a huge fan of the show L O S T (cue dying giraffe noise).With the final season of one of television’s great serialized mysteries debuting tonight on ABC, Axl and Vince thought, “Hey, why not ask Nick to do a series of columns about the show’s final episodes?” Luckily, Nick agreed! And so, without further adieu…

Hello fans of extreme metal music. My written word appears before you for one sole purpose: to share information, ideas, insight, and theories on ABC’s mind-melting TV show, LOST. In many circles, LOST is regarded as the Master of Puppets of prime-time television; hence, it is worth discussing on a metal blog.

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Well well well, Rob over at Metal Injection made a very interesting discovery over the weekend:

“I was stumbling through the city this weekend, and while in midtown I looked up and saw a ginormous DETHKLOK ad right in the middle of the city. It was so brutal, I had to stop and take a photo and be mistaken for a tourist [Said tourist photo to your right - Ed.]. Then, I turned on [adult swim] earlier and they were advertising that the show returns next Sunday, May 18th! Fuck. Yes!”

These will be the first new episodes of 2008. Think about that: there haven’t been new episodes of Metalocalypse in almost six months. Who the fuck do Tommy Blacha and Brendon Small think they are, the showrunners for fuckin’ Lost or something?

Oh, well. Look at this way: unlike Lost, when Metalocalypse returns, at least there’ll be some payoff.

-AR

So who’s excited about the return of Lost tonight? The show has sure had its peaks and valleys, but it ended on a good note last May, and besides, with the ongoing writers’ strike, what the fuck else are you gonna watch?

Will we ever find out what the smoke monster is? Will the origins of that four toed statue be revealed? What the hell do those numbers mean? Can Hurley complete a sentence without saying “dude?” Does Desmond have to call everyone “brother” every time he opens his fucking mouth? Will Jack and Kate ever stop whining and just fuck already? Hopefully we’ll get some answers tonight; in the meantime, here’s some Lost clips edited together to a soundtrack of Bruce Dickinson’s “Tears of the Dragon.” Enjoy.

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-AR

Baroness have certainly been one of the most buzzed about bands in the metal underground of 2007 (and we think deservedly so). Their new video for “Wanderlust” — their first ever music video — has imagery that feels like out-takes from LOST. Baroness and LOST, now there’s a match made in heaven. Is anyone else as excited for LOST Season 4 as I am? Flash forwards, dude, flash forwards!

Also be sure to visit WoozyFly.com today for a stream of the full Baroness concert taped December 1 at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom. The stream will be up starting today (Dec. 10) for only 48 hours.

-VN

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