I don’t know why anyone would trust anything Metallica has to say these days. Every time they have a new album coming out, they start talking smack on their last album, which is doubly offensive. “St. Anger is gonna blow Load out of the water!” “Okay we know St. Anger sucked, but seriously, Death Magnetic is gonna be amazing!!!” All they’re really doing is just continuously spitting in the faces of fans who actually take them at their word.

But in a new interview with Rolling Stone, Lars Ulrich really does go one step too far: He says that Lulu, the band’s upcoming collaboration with Lou Reed, “makes… And Justice for All sound like the first Ramones album.”

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Loutallica, left to right: Rob Trujillo, Lars Ulrich, James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Lou Reed

I said I was over it with this Metallicrap when we first heard a thirty second sample of “The View,” the first single off their upcoming collaboration with Lou Reed, Lulu; I’m still over with it this Metallicrap. I have finally come to a good place in my life, a place where I realize that the only thing which will ever remind me of why I used to so worship Metallica is listening to the old Metallica albums that made me fall in love with them back in the day. They are not ever going to release something new and good again.

But let’s face it, MetalSucks ain’t a news site, exactly, but it is a site that discusses the news, and the fact that the full song has now been released is news, so, y’know, I’m posting it. I really have nothing to say about it, other than the fact that the song shares a title with a television show in which four old ladies and one obligatory young woman sit around and talk about nothing of interest seems totally appropriate. Also, I think Whoopi Goldberg and Lars Ulrich have both shtupped Frank Langella, so there’s that.

ANYWAY, the full song is after the jump if you wanna hear it. Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros.

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A thirty second sample of “The View,” one of the songs on Metallica and Lou Reed’s upcoming Lulu, is now available for streaming (below). And while it is, of course, horribly unfair to judge an album based on thirty seconds, I am now fully prepared to say that this record is going to suck.

The short description of the sample would be this: horrible, generic Metallica riff that sounds like any number of the horrible, generic riffs the band has made their name playing for the past fifteen years or so; Lou Reed doing spoken word poetry; Hetfield in full-on “Yea-AH!” Elvis mode singing; jaded blogger going back to sleep.

I don’t know if I’m even gonna have the energy to listen to this entire record. Life is too short for me to keep putting up with this crap just because Metallica were my favorite band twenty fucking years ago. Maybe their intentions are pure, but it doesn’t matter; clearly, we just have different visions for what we want out of the band. So let’s just call it “irreconcilable differences,” agree to share custody of Slayer, and finalize the divorce, alright?

Metallica/Lou Reed – “The View” (30 Second Sample)

Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros.

-AR

[via Amazon... thanks to everyone who e-mailed this to us this morning.]

Loutallica, or whatever the heck they’re calling the Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration, have unveiled the album art for their forthcoming release, Lulu. And based on the e-mails we’ve been getting from you peeps, you all think it’s terrible.

Truth is, I don’t really think it’s that bad. It’s obviously a little heavy handed with regards to the album’s lyrical themes, but it’s not as though the covers of Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets were so subtle or anything.  It looks like something that would have come out on Sub Pop in the 90s is all. I mean, if I saw it on a display at the Virgin Megastore (R.I.P.) circa ’96, I probably would have thought “Hm, wonder what that is?”, and then never bothered to find out.

But I think the sooner everyone gets it into their heads that this album is most likely not going to sound very metal, the less disappointed they will be with the final result. By which I mean, we should all feel disappointed because it sucks in general, not because it’s not metal.

Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros. My kidding aside… wouldn’t it be awesome if it were good? It would be so awesome.

-AR

Metallica and Lou Reed have announced a November 1 release date for their collaborative album, which we now know to be titled Lulu. The album was apparently inspired by Marjorie Henderson Buell’s 1930s comic strip, Little Lulu, as well as the animated television series and films that the strip inspi–

Oh, wait. That’s not right at all. Here’s what actually inspired the album, according to a statement on the collaboration’s official website:

Click to read more…

via Badass

Reading the comments under our announcement of The Metal Suckfest has been a lot of fun — mostly because the predictions regarding which other bands will be on the bill have been so very, very wrong. Hopefully we’ll get to announce a few more bands next week, but in the meantime, you cats need to try harder and be a little more imaginative when speculating.

And while you do that, here’s how we kept ourselves amused this week:

• We debuted new music by Today is the Day, Monstro, and, thanks to our friends at Decibel, Skeletonwitch.
• We also debuted a new video by Venia.
• Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable and Borknagar’s Jens Ryland both weighed in on the Century Media/Spotify drama.
• We spoke to Chimaira’s Mark Hunter, Dead Letter Circus’ Kim Benzie, Trapped Under Ice’s Justice Tripp, and three of the dudes from Fleshgod Apocalypse.
• We checked out the latest release from Wizard Smoke.
• We examined the evolution of deathcore.
• We felt bad for the sixteen year old who just got fired from Design the Skyline.
• We got excited about the Black Sabbath reunion, until we found out that it’s not confirmed yet.
• We carefully examined the first promo photo of Metallica with Lou Reed.
• We continued to count down  31 Days of Faith No More.

Until next week… eat your vegetables, stay in school, don’t drink and drive.

-AR

The official website for the upcoming Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration has launched, although right now there is absolutely nothing of interest there save for this picture of the old bass player for Suicidal Tendencies and four terminal cancer patients.

Still, I thought you might wanna know that the project is moving forward; presumably the next step is either to release some actual music, or a photo of Trujillo with a bunch of burn victims.

-AR

Best commercial ever?

ANYWAY, here’s how we filled our time this week:

• We mourned the loss of Anal Cunt’s Seth Putnam and Sirius XM Liquid Metal’s Mario Comesanas.
• We debuted new music by Intensus and, thanks to Decibel, Wormrot, too!
• Revocation’s Dave Davidson walked us through his live rig, and we spoke to Paul Ryan from Origin and Tommy “Two-Tone” Blankenship from My Morning Jacket.
• We checked out the latest release from Gigan.
• I told you which metal albums of 2011 have been my favorites thus far.
• We tried to figure out why people like August Burns Red.
• We discussed the new Machine Head single, “Locust.”
• We gave you The 16 Cardinal Rules for Running a Metal Record Label in 2011.
• We wondered who is dumber — Korn fans or Silent Hill fans?
• We pondered the upcoming Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration.

Next week is a big one — we’re debuting new tracks from two of our most favoritest bands, a video from one of our childhood heroes, reviewing a very, very, VERY highly anticipated new record (Hint: We definitely discussed it this week!), and we’ll have some other surprises in store for you, too. See ya then!

-AR

Sorry to post at such an odd hour, but this is such a bizarre story, and the number of e-mails that are flooding my inbox are so great, that I just had to get this story up now.

Remember back in February, when Kirk Hammett said that Metallica were working on a “secret recording project?” Well, in case the headline didn’t give it away, that secret recording project is an album with Lou Reed.

Yes, that Lou Reed.

No, I am not making this up. Here’s a photo from the band’s official website:

After the jump, read the band’s full statement on the matter. Following that are all my thoughts on this project.

Click to read more…

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

For no particular reason whatsoever other than we thought it would be fun, this week we asked our writers:

IF YOU COULD HAVE BEEN PRESENT FOR THE CREATION OF ANY SINGLE METAL ALBUM, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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