SEND EMAIL TO
NEWS [AT]
METALSUCKS
[DOT] NET
Alas, this has already been taken down, but here’s a screen cap if you wanna check it out. Note Mr. Hetfield’s occupation as listed below:
Pretty brilliant, right? I can’t believe Wikipedia changed it!
-AR
[via The Metal of Honor]
Earlier this week, Metallica performed a previously unreleased song from the Death Magnetic sessions, “Hate Train,” as part of their four-night thirtieth anniversary celebration at the Fillmore in San Francisco, and then e-mailed their fan club a rough mix of that song; now they’ve done the same for another tune that didn’t make the Death cut, this one called “Just a Bullet Away.” And, holy shit, they are making this too easy. Why don’t they just call a song “Everyone Hate Us Now?”
ANYWAY, I actually think this song is… not terrible. Don’t get me wrong, it has serious problems — namely, James Hetfield’s ongoing obsession with being the worst vocalist in the world, the incredibly crappy chorus, the bloated running time, and the lyric “suck, suck ’til it’s dry” — but the main riff is actually pretty catchy, and doesn’t immediately call to mind any other Metallica riffs. I even kinda like the slow, Gothenburg-y section. So congratulations to Metallica, it looks like another slightly-above-mediocre song was written and recorded for Death Magnetic. I wonder why this one didn’t make the cut?
By the way, if you haven’t been paying attention, ‘Tallica have been having all sorts of special guests at these shows, ranging from Jason Newsted (I can’t believe he had time to fit it into his busy schedule!) to John Bush to Scott Ian to Marianne Faithful to… Lou Reed. Yes, they performed songs from Lulu. I’m too lazy/don’t care enough to write about all that shit, but Metal Insider has plenty of coverage if you’re interested.
-AR
After it was announced that director visionary director Darren Aronofsky would be helming a music video for Loutallica’s completely unlistenable piece of shit “The View,” I was optimistic that Aronofsky would come up with something that would be superior to the song itself. I don’t think I was alone in harboring this hope. I haven’t loved all of Aronofsky’s films — The Fountain and Black Swan were both pretty lousy, and, no, I don’t give two fucks how many awards the latter film won — but the guy’s work is usually, at the very least, thought-provoking. He has a unique point of view, and, really, what more can you ask for from an artist? Some people will inevitably love or hate the creator’s work, so, really, the creator’s responsibility is to be, for lack of a better term, interesting. It is, ultimately, the bare minimum we should require of artists, and the single thing so many of them completely fail to do. But whatever you want to say about Aronofsky, you can’t deny that the guy has a vision; he’s got heart, he’s got soul.
That’s why his video for “The View” is such a goddamn bummer. ‘Cause it’s really just a performance video. Is it slightly prettier than most performance videos? Sure. Aronofsky’s regular cinematographer, Matthew Libatique — who has been one of the director’s regular collaborators way back since π — is no slouch. But most of the imagery isn’t really that original or stimulating. Really, the “homemade,” handheld nature of it — that kind of “indie” quality — isn’t that far off from, say, a commercial for Levi’s jeans. Y’know, like this one:
Banner Designed by Cysquatch
Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (not really at all) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.
Inspired by the ongoing disaster that is Lou Reed & Metallica’s Lulu, this week we asked our writers:
WHAT WAS THE WORST METAL ALBUM OF 2011?
The MS staff’s answers after the jump!
Maybe we shoulda called it MetaSucks?
ANYWAY, here’s some shit we did this week:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I haven’t gotten blackout drunk in a week.
-AR
Lulu was originally announced as a “secret recording project,” and I thought that the use of the phrase “recording project” meant that we would never, ever have to hear this shit live.” Unfortunately, I was incorrect, ’cause Loutallica performed the song “Iced Honey” on the BBC’s Later… With Jools Holland last night. So if you’ve been dying for someone to combine the unadulterated awfulness of Lulu with the embarrassing sloppiness of modern Metallica live, well, boy oh boy do we have a treat for you!
The band also covered The Velvet Underground’s “White Light/White Heat.” I haven’t actually watched this clip because I’d like to preserve my untainted memory of the song, but you’re free to check it out after the jump.
Vince and I are both massive fans of Oscar nominated director Darren Aronofsky (although we differed in opinion on Black Swan, but whatever). And even if you’re not a fan of his films, there’s no denying that he is a unique and powerful voice in modern cinema. In other words: I get why some people may not like his work, but I can’t understand how anyone could not respect his work.
Of course, my stance that you must at least give Aronofsky his due is probably gonna change real soon, ’cause guess what? According to the Associated Press, he’s directing a video for “Iced Honey,” one of the many terrible songs from Lou Reed and Metallica’s Lulu.
We don’t really have any other info right now, other than the fact that Aronofsky will be utilizing his long-time cinematographer, Matthew Libatique, who has been one of his key collaborators since π (Libatique also shot the Iron Man movies and Spike Lee’s Inside Man, in case you’re curious). And while normally I’d be inclined to say that Aronofsky’s video will probably be the most interesting thing to come out of this whole Lulu debacle, I was also optimistic once that Lou Reed might be able to whip Metallica into shape, and we all know how that turned out.
But the video probably won’t have any monkeys in it, so. Y’know. It’s got that going for it.
Commiserate with me in the comments section.
-AR
Thanks to our friend, the mighty Josh Eldrige, for bringing this to our attention via his Twitter account!
Is Lulu just the world’s greatest troll? Even if it wasn’t, if I were a member of Loutallica, I’d probably start telling people that it is. It would really be the only logical explanation for anyone thinking that crap was listenable.
And the below video suggests that at least one member of Metallica really might have intended it as a troll. I’m not entirely clear on how recent the clip of James Hetfield fucking with a security guard was filmed. But it just may be Hetfield’s best work this century.
In other Metallica news, Rob Trujillo — who, as everyone knows, is the real big man calling the shots behind-the-scenes in Metallica — recently told GulfNews.com that “the writing process for the new Metallica album has begun,” according to NME. Reading from a memo sent to him by Lars Ulrich’s assistant, the bassist announced that “We’ve been in the studio with Rick Rubin, working on a couple of things, and we’re going to be recording during the most of next year.” I can’t remember the last time Metallica spent less than two years in the studio, so I’m think we should have a fresh new disappointment to make fun of sometime around 2013/2014.
-AR
Thanks to Csantos and J.A.M. for the tips!
No I’m totally kidding. I don’t even know if there is gonna be any touring or live performances in support of Lulu; at this point, I think it’s safe to assume there will not be, since the amount of security guards it would take to protect the musicians from the “fans” would probably be greater than the number of people who would actually pay to see Loutallica perform that crap. (Although if they included free rotten eggs to throw at the band with every ticket purchase, I would happily shell out some cash to attend.)
And even if there was a tour, Danko Jones most certainly would not be the opener — ’cause over the weekend, the singer/guitarist took to his Twitter account and likened Lulu to some of cinema’s great financial and creative disasters, including Ishtar, Waterworld, and Battlefield Earth. And, oh yeah, then he tweeted the below:
I know we’re already beating this Lulu thing to death, but, I mean, c’mon — it is just SO AMAZING that Metallica have somehow figured out a way to disappoint the fans yet AGAIN, and have possibly even outdone the debacle that was St. Anger. Seriously, this thing is so hilariously awful somewhere in the world right now, Axel Rudi Pell and the dudes from Morbid Angel are on their knees, thanking the good Lord for finally taking the heat off of them.
And now comes the silver lining of Lulu — namely, the parodies and memes. NPR helpfully points the way towards those which have already been released. First up are some fake pre-production demos by a YouTube user named gr8080. gr8080′s version of “Little Dog” was made utilizing nothing more than a knowledge of the song title and running time (for maximum troll power!), and it’s hilarious (I especially appreciate all the howling. Except that gr8080 had no way of knowing that he (I think it’s a he) was creating something that was actually far more melodic than the actual “Little Dog,” which, like all of Lulu, is just a total fucking mess. “Little Dog” also happens to be one of the most boring songs on Lulu, so gr8080 has Loutallica beat in the energy department, too.
I’m also very fond of gr8080′s version of “Brandenburg Gate,” which melds lots of silly German stuff together (Kraftwerk-style avant-electronica, the entire language, etc.) in the name of comedy gold:
The headline says it all. You can stream Lulu, Metallica’s new collaboration with Lou Reed, right now, right here.
Give it a listen, then come back here for what will surely be the most fun debate of the year: Is Lulu terrible, or really, really terrible?
The MetalSucks staff will weigh in with its thoughts before the album’s official release on November 1. Until then, you have the floor, dear readers.
Loutallica, left to right: Rob Trujillo, Lars Ulrich, James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Lou Reed
I said I was over it with this Metallicrap when we first heard a thirty second sample of “The View,” the first single off their upcoming collaboration with Lou Reed, Lulu; I’m still over with it this Metallicrap. I have finally come to a good place in my life, a place where I realize that the only thing which will ever remind me of why I used to so worship Metallica is listening to the old Metallica albums that made me fall in love with them back in the day. They are not ever going to release something new and good again.
But let’s face it, MetalSucks ain’t a news site, exactly, but it is a site that discusses the news, and the fact that the full song has now been released is news, so, y’know, I’m posting it. I really have nothing to say about it, other than the fact that the song shares a title with a television show in which four old ladies and one obligatory young woman sit around and talk about nothing of interest seems totally appropriate. Also, I think Whoopi Goldberg and Lars Ulrich have both shtupped Frank Langella, so there’s that.
ANYWAY, the full song is after the jump if you wanna hear it. Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros.
Loutallica, or whatever the heck they’re calling the Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration, have unveiled the album art for their forthcoming release, Lulu. And based on the e-mails we’ve been getting from you peeps, you all think it’s terrible.
Truth is, I don’t really think it’s that bad. It’s obviously a little heavy handed with regards to the album’s lyrical themes, but it’s not as though the covers of Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets were so subtle or anything. It looks like something that would have come out on Sub Pop in the 90s is all. I mean, if I saw it on a display at the Virgin Megastore (R.I.P.) circa ’96, I probably would have thought “Hm, wonder what that is?”, and then never bothered to find out.
But I think the sooner everyone gets it into their heads that this album is most likely not going to sound very metal, the less disappointed they will be with the final result. By which I mean, we should all feel disappointed because it sucks in general, not because it’s not metal.
Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros. My kidding aside… wouldn’t it be awesome if it were good? It would be so awesome.
-AR
