MetalSucks

Most of you probably don’t know that I used to work at Atlantic Records. Not back in the heyday of Atlantic metal but during the lifetime of this here metal blog, in fact. Any time I brought up some of the classic metal acts to grace the ranks of Atlantic’s roster — Testament, Skid Row, Saigon Kick, King’s X… P.O.D. [I KID!!] — I was met with blank stares by the label’s higher-ups. They’d rather bob their heads in forced unison to the brand new sappy crappy Staind single that sounds exactly like all the other sappy crappy Staind singles. Oh, the stories I have about those board meetings… for another day.

Don’t worry; I got out of dodge as soon as I could. All is good now that I work safely in the confines of the MS Mansion in pantsless bliss.

I didn’t work in the A&R department at Atlantic, but I sat in on enough meetings and watched enough happen to know that the reality of major label A&R men suggested in this spoof video is frighteningly accurate. Enjoy; and if you’re a budding musician with major label dreams, be frightened. Very frightened.

-VN

In case you live in an Internet-less black hole, there’s some big news going around today about Minnesota woman Jammie Thomas being found guilty of copyright infringement for sharing music via Kazaa; Thomas now has to pay $220,000 in damages to the record labels that sued her. Companies suing their customers… that strikes me as a GREAT way to drum up business in a failing industry. Great job, guys, this will surely help your public image.

Now, before I go on a rant, I would like to say this: I am not a record label hater. I fully understand the need for marketing dollars to help a band gain exposure, pay publicists, tour support, advances, yadda yadda yadda. I get it, and I am not of the “all record labels are evil” ilk.

However, those in the record industry (please note the distinction between record industry and music industry), and in particular the major labels, need to take a collective step back and realize the following:

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