I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve actually learned a lot from metal. For example, when I was a kid, I heard Axl Rose use the word “cunt” in the song “Bad Obsession” and subsequently asked my dad, “What’s a cunt?” To which he responded, “Your mother’s sister.” And I instantly knew exactly what a cunt was.

Metal continues to educate me every day, and this morning has been no different. Marduk have a new song, “Phosphorus Redeemer,” streaming on their MySpace page, and while I initially thought the title was just a nonsense combination of two words, it turns out that Marduk didn’t invent the phrase. Amazing!

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Following three very special U.S. appearances earlier this month in Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York (effectively breaking their streak of visa issues), Swedish black metal battalion MARDUK will return for a full North American headlining tour this November dubbed the U.S. Plague Tour 2009. The band will be joined by Nachtmystium, Mantic Ritual, Merrimack and Black Anvil (on select dates).

Having missed Marduk at the aforementioned New York show and having been subject to at least 2 Nachtmystium cancellations in the past year, we’re psyched to be a part of this tour. Our own Corey Mitchell gave Mantic Ritual’s latest a five-out-of-five horns review, and Black Anvil are quite the talk of the town at the moment — we’re new to Merrimack, but we’ll certainly give them a shot. What a solid lineup. Full list of tour dates after the jump.

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The first time I heard Tombs‘ Relapse Records debut Winterhours was on the New York subway with iPod earbuds, which are clearly not the ideal conditions for developing an accurate initial impression of a band. I wasn’t impressed and turned it off after a few songs, likely in favor of something more familiar such as The Jonas Brothers. Recently though, I’ve given the record some undivided attention at home, where the sound is hardly state-of-the-art but at least it isn’t subject to train noises and obnoxious interruptions by my fellow passengers. Much to my surprise and delight, I fucking love Winterhours.

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Anyone following this year’s MetalSucks co-sponsored, Mayhem-headlined Blackenedfest tour should already know that this tour has been plagued from the start. First was the Marduk no-show (reportedly due to visa problems) followed by the Boise cancelation, then a message posted on Cephalic Carnage’s MySpace page this Monday announcing the band had decided to drop off the tour in Denver without any further explanation. The latest wrinkle is an exclusive, in-depth, first-hand report from Metal Injection roving reporter Justina Villanueva, who had been out on the road covering the entire tour for Metal Injection.

Reports Justina in her tour diary at Metal Injection:

I had my only Almost Famous moment of this tour in Denver, Colorado. We were not exactly in a descending plane but it definitely felt like we were. I watched Blackened Fest collapse within a matter of several hours. It wasn’t a short run of a tour but it’s demise was very short notice to the people involved.

Just after Withered left the bus to start their set, Cartel (tour manager) came onto the Cephalic/Withered shared mobile home to announce, “Guys, tonight might be the last night of the tour.” He started inquiring about who were the unnecessary people on the tour so he could free up bunk space. This included Sid, Leonard’s (Cephalic vocalist) son, and Chuck, Nick’s (Cephalic’s bassist) brother. Because we were in Denver, Cephalic’s home, the question at hand was easy to seal away: two free bunks. But, two free bunks doesn’t solve the extra 6 people still on Marduk’s money-swallowing bus. At that point in the night I knew one bus would be sent home and maybe some crew (most likely me too). But, I didn’t expect the actual outcome: a Mayhem only tour.

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The MetalSucks co-sponsored Blackenedfest, featuring Mayhem, Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered is currently underway and, from what I hear, absolutely slaying. As per usual, Metal Injection has been on hand to capture some excellent video footage from the shows. Here’s Cephalic Carnage doing “Kill for Weed” on the tour’s stop at this past weekend’s Maryland Deathfest; you can check out more videos from the tour right here. And get the remaining tour dates after the jump!!!

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Metal Injection reports that Mayhem have arrived in the U.S. without incident, which means that BLACKENEDFEST, the grimmest tour of the Spring, is set to kick off tomorrow night in NYC as planned! Says Mayhem frontman Attila Csihar:

“We had no problems whatsoever with immigration, and now we are very excited to de-consecrate the USA again after a decade of decay since our last tour here! Prepare to prove the falseness of all religions and inventing the order of pure fucking chaos! There is NO god but MAYHEM!!”

The spikey-armband-studded lineup also features Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered. We suggest you view this handy Corpsepaint 101 primer before attending.

Full list of tour dates and links to buy tickets after the jump.

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The grimmest tour of the Spring gets underway in less than one month, so be sure to get on your game and get tickets for the MetalSucks co-sponsored BLACKENEDFEST now, before they sell out! The spikey-armband-studded lineup features Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered, and is headlined by none other than the Norwegian kings of grim, Mayhem! We suggest you view this handy Corpsepaint 101 primer before attending, but we can’t promise that this tour will be more metal than these guys.

Full list of tour dates and links to buy tickets after the jump.

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MetalSucks is pleased to announce our sponsorship on what is without a doubt the darkest, bleakest, blackest lineup hitting North America this Spring — BLACKENEDFEST! The lineup is headlined by none other than the kings of Norwegian black metal, suicide and murder — Mayhem — and features Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered in support. That’s a fucking br00tal lineup if you ask us. Tickets go on sale this Friday, February 13th — an appropriate date — so take a look at the full list of tour dates (with buy links) after the jump.*

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