Long-time readers of MetalSucks are fully aware of my lifelong obsession with Mötley Crüe. Okay, it was more like a two-year love affair, at least until I discovered Terry Glaze-fronted Pantera, Metallica, and the English Dogs.

I have ruined any chances of running for public office by openly displaying my dress-up capabilities as both Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx on this wonderful publication. I have reviewed the band’s concerts here, as well as their books (and books, and books).

My pathetic one-sided man crush was shattered on December 8, 1984, when lead singer Vince Neil vehicularly manslaughtered 24-year-old Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley, while driving his Pantera to a liquor store in Redondo Beach, California, to pick up some booze. Interestingly enough, that was the same exact moment the band’s music began to completely suck. Hard.

That brings us to modern day Mötley Crüe and their upcoming co-headlining summer tour with metal stalwarts Poison **hack** and glam rock pioneers the New York Dolls. According to Blabbermouth, Crüe bassist and de facto leader Nikki Sixx claims that the band’s fans “demanded” that they take Poison out on the road. MetalSucks co-head honcho Axl Rosenberg, of course, is much wiser than Sixx gives him credit.

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When Oxbow first released its debut album Fuckfest back in 1990, most of you were listening to Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer (Lord knows I sure was!). So it’s almost forgivable nearly 20 years later if you still haven’t heard this cathartic, manic, and, yes, bluesy noise rock record. Thankfully, the dudes at Hydra Head Records will give us all a chance to redeem ourselves when they rerelease this filthy beast on September 15. I got my first crack at Fuckfest this morning, and it’s even better than I had expected, from the twisted classic rock of “30 Miles” to the sprawling cacophonous discord of “Hunger”.

Oxbow doesn’t seem to like updating its official website very much, but fortunately the band has a more active Twitter account packed with rumors (what’s this about a tour with Shrinebuiler and Dillinger Escape Plan?), new album updates, and UK dates for November. West Coasters may want to get themselves over to San Francisco this month, where the band will play two shows (August 20 at The Eagle; August 31 at The Victoria Theater).

-GS

[Gary Suarez sings songs for the French. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]