MetalSucks

You know when you know you’ve got too many greatest hits albums? When more than one of them are called Greatest Hits.

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MS Maniac Brutal Jay tipped us off to the existence of the hilarious Halloween “Metal Mayhem Child Costume” now available at Walmart. My immediate instinct was to be a hater and harp on the co-option of metal culture by a huge conglomerate who obviously cares solely about how much money this product bring in, but then I realized that, for a young kid who’s into metal, this costume is ten times cooler than your average superhero/devil/zombie/vampire whatever costume.

Although, I think if it were me, I’d definitely opt for the Mick Mars edition.

-VN

This live footage of Morgan Rose filling in for the injured Tommy Lee on drums with Motley Crue this past weekend is really entertaining. I mean, you get to see Vince Neil, who still can’t remember all the words to his own songs / gets winded after about two lines, and that in itself is always funny. And you get to see Mick Mars, who despite his status as the walking dead can still wail out those solos pretty well. But best of all, you get to see Morgan Rose, one of the greatest drummers on the planet in terms of pure, raw talent, rock through a set of songs he hadn’t heard in years for which he had zero time to prepare.

It seems that Tommy Lee burned his hand and couldn’t play. There’s video floating around of Tommy coming out on stage at this show and explaining the situation to the audience; as usual, he sounds like a total idiot. So the band flew out Sevendust’s Morgan Rose from Atlanta last minute, day of the fucking show, to fill in on drums. I know what you’re thinking… Motley songs ain’t too complicated drum-wise and they just play all the hits anyway. VRONG. This is the Dr. Feelgood tour in which the band plays the entire album start to finish, deep cuts and all, plus the usual smattering of greatest hits. Rose comes out and fucking nails it all. I love how in these clips you can see Nikki Sixx communicating with Rose about when the changes happen in the song, or when to end, or when to begin. THAT is fucking pure musicianship that can’t be taught. You either have it or you don’t. And Rose most certainly has it.

Check out “Same ol’ Situation” below and “Dr. Feelgood” after the jump.

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So Nikki Sixx has had his girlfriend, the insanely irritating Kat Von D., tattoo Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars onto his knee. Apparently he chose the knee to taunt Mick, who cannot, in fact, bend his own knee anymore.

I assume Nikki chose Mick and not one of his other bandmates because Mick has never challenged him or do anything to threaten his time in the spotlight. In any case, look for Tommy and Vince to get tats of one another and not Nikki in retaliation.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

No booze at a Motley fucking Crue show? Jesus fucking Christ. That must be like having sex with a condom made of nails.

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Eventually, someone is going to adapt Motley Crue’s The Dirt (which I’m still fairly certain is the best book ever written in any language ever) into a movie. There’s too many greenbacks at stake for the project just to sit on the shelf forever.

But I’ve read screenwriter Rich Wilkes’ adaptation of the infamous tome (written by Neil Strauss under the guise of being written by the band members themselves), and it wasn’t going to make a good movie. In fact, I can guarantee you it was going to make a horrible, horrible movie. Wilkes is the writer of such gems as The Jerky Boys movie and xXx, so that news really shouldn’t shock anyone*; in fact, I have to guess that Wilkes got the job ’cause he wrote Airheads, which is probably the last Hollywood movie about metal that is only a semi-embarrassment to the film industry**. Still, Wilkes’ script was all set to go before cameras under the guidance of Borat director/Seinfeld executive producer Larry Charles, who is really way, way, way too talented for this lousy script. At various times, Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Knoxville were rumored to be in talks to play Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx, respectively, and Christopher Walken and Val Kilmer were alleged to have filled the roles of Ozzy Osbourne and David Lee Roth.

In other words, this thing really had about as much chance of being good as Lars Ulrich does of growing to be six five four feet tall.

So lucky for us all that the project, at least as we’ve known it, seems to be in jeopardy.

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Here are the song titles for Motley Crue’s new album, Saints of Los Angeles:

01. Mother Fucker Of the Year
02. Down At The Whiskey
03. Saints of Los Angeles
04. Face Down In The Dirt
05. What’s It Gonna Take
06. Chicks = Trouble
07. White Trash Circus
08. The Animal In Me
09. Welcome To The Machine
10. This Ain’t A Love Song
11. Just Another Psycho

Well, in the words of Balki Bartokomou, “paint me green and call me Gumby,” because I don’t even have to make fun of this shit. Those song titles are already a total joke.

Aw, shucks, let’s give it a shot anyway.

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So Blabbermouth reports that Motley Crue will make a “colossal announcement” in LA on April 15. As far this band is concerned, only two things could qualify as a “colossal announcement” as this point:

1. All four band members will commit suicide on live t.v.
2. The long awaited boxing match between Vince Neil and Axl Rose is finally happening.

More than likely, though, the band is just announcing another tour on which Vince Neil will be fat and winded, Tommy Lee will act like a moron, Nikki Sixx will discover the hard way that there are still STDs he hasn’t yet contracted, and Mick Mars will be unable to move.

-AR

Buried in a montage of video interviews conducted by OnTrackMagazine at the Winter NAMM show in Anaheim, CA this past January was in interesting bit with King’s X vocalist/bassist Doug Pinnick. King’s X are one of my favorite bands of all time, and Pinnick — though I haven’t met him (yet!) — seems like one of the most down-to-earth dudes there is. Some interesting tidbits from the interview:

On the illusions and expectations fans have of King’s X being rockstars: “I live from month to month, like everyone else.”

On his time in California during NAMM: “Me and Mick Mars are gonna start writing some tunes together. I’m gonna be hangin’ with him for four or five days… Mick called up and said ‘Come on out, man! Come and write some tunes with me! Let’s do a little writing collaboration and sell tunes to other bands and stuff.’ So I said, why not? Make a little extra money and keep going.”

Anything Pinnick puts his name on I’m willing to check out, and I’m curious what Mick Mars’ writing style is like sans-Nikki. How’s that for a collabo to look forward to in 2008?

-VN