I had completely forgotten about Vince’s love of Bob Ross until his post yesterday. It would have been awesome if Bob had done an all-metal edition of his show, in which he discussed the joy of Ed Repka and Paul Romano. Learning about your craft is so metal! Thanks for reminding me, Vince, about what an inspiration Bob should be to us all.

Here’s some other things we did this week:

• We spoke to Anthrax’s Joey Belladonna, the legendary Wino, Harvey Milk’s Creston Spiers, and Cruel Hand’s Chris Linkovich.
• Vince, Axl and Gary discussed their favorite albums of 2010 so far.
• We’re giving away a free mp3 of Fistula’s “Ohio Death Toll Rising.”
• We checked out new releases by Kvereltak, Misery Index, Watain, and Parkway Drive.
• Anso reviewed the Big Four Live from Sofia, Bulgaria movie theater satellite thingy.
• Vince did a really a good job of impersonating Axl.
• Vince also discovered two new Sumeriancore bands that stink, and one that doesn’t.
• He also wondered: What is it with drummers wearing basketball jerseys?
• Guess what Serj Tankian thinks borders are?
• DEVIN TOWNSEND HEADLINE TOUR! DEVIN TOWNSEND HEADLINE TOUR!!!

A week from today, Vince and I see Faith No More in Brooklyn. So expect lots and lot of pointless pondering about FNM next week, ’cause that’s pretty much all I’m gonna be able to think about.

-AR

The title track of Misery Index’s 2008 album Traitors was perhaps the first truly great anti-Bush song. Granted, it certainly wasn’t the first anti-Bush song (hell, Al Jourgensen decided to wrap up Ministry‘s career with a trilogy of albums dedicated to them), but most of the others felt like empty sloganeering even if their heart was in it. But something about “Traitors” hit home particularly hard, perhaps because instead of aiming white-hot rage at Bush’s lies and hypocrisies and his party’s Eisenhower-era morality, there was a weariness with it, a genuine disdain for decades of Neocon rule and the culture of “real America” that surfaced in its wake (bassist/vocalist Jason Netherton barking the final lyrics “and not through them defined by fucking flags on SUVs and Super Bowl half times” before chanting “traitors” for the remainder of the song). Instead of capturing the anger in the heat of the moment, in 2 ½ minutes, the band dig into the Earth to the root of their disgust through an incendiary metallic hardcore song. So, fittingly, Traitors was released a little more than a month before Bush was out of office for good. In theory, it was too little, too late. In fact, now that Bush has been gone for about a year and a half (and, sorry Keith Olbermann, but we don’t need any more anti-Bush songs), the song still has a feeling of relevance, like all good protest songs do from Dylan to Bad Religion.

The rest of that album, while by no means bad, was missing something that Misery Index’s best work — Retaliate and the brilliant EP Dissent – had in spades. The band’s staying power has been attributed to its balance of death metal brutality and hardcore looseness, literally metalcore or deathcore before either of them became dirty words. Traitors was too surgically precise for its own good; a friend of mine described it as “being a little too death metal than I’m used to them being.” And while they’re no stranger to death metal — the band, after all, were an offshoot of Dying Fetus, one of the best death metal bands there are and ever will be and don‘t you fucking forget it — when they veer too far into one direction instead of straddling the middle ground of several, they lose some of their punch. Which is what makes their latest full length — the fucking great Heirs to Thievery – so wonderful. The band are back to groove-inflected deathgrind, sounding loose and spontaneous while simultaneously precise and well-rehearsed. Though an excellent new album is always occasion to declare it “the best thing the band has ever done,” Heirs to Thievery, with the passing of time, could very well be that.

Click to read more…

The prize for last week’s photo caption contest was a copy of At the Gates’ The Flames of the End 3x DVD set, a must have for any AtG fan. The winning caption for the photo at right is:

• Coop: “Winds of Plague keyboard tryouts.”

Ba-zing! This week we’re giving away two copies of Misery Index‘s latest death metal banger Heirs to Thievery (listen here). To win, just post a funny caption to the giggle-inducing photo below which continues on with our recent theme. (Remember, if you’re using FB Connect to login, include an email address with your comment so we can contact the winner). Go!

I really only know Johnny Orlando, Jr., because of the work he’s done with Metal Injection, but plenty of people have told me I’m an idiot for not paying closer attention to him. And based on the below video, in which Johnny Orlando , Jr., Jr. asks members of Fear Factory, Misery Index, Revocation and Carnifex that all-important question: “Where do babies come from?”

Kudos to Burton C. Bell for trying to give the kid an honest answer, although Gene Hoglan’s response is clearly the best. Reader Xavier Luxenburg suggests that the absence of a certain guitar player is “confirmation” of his baby eating, but I think that dude actually likes ‘em a little younger than this kid.

-AR

Thanks to everyone who sent this in.

Cam Argon, a.k.a. “Big Chocolate,” is nineteen years old, and meanwhile, he’s the vocalist for at least three different projects, he’s a DJ, he’s in college getting his degree, and, oh yeah, now he’s directed the new Annotations of an Autopsy video, for the song “Bone Crown.” I mean, Vince and I have both been keeping really busy lately, working ridiculously long hours on a lot of projects both related to MetalSucks and not really related to MetalSucks, and this kid makes us look lazy. Cut it out with the being so productive, Cam! Slack off, watch some internet porn, take a nap for no good reason. Sheesh!

Don’t forget that AOAA are part of the <shameless plug>MetalSucks-sponsored Facemelter Tour with Dying Fetus, Arsis, Misery Index, and Conducting from the Grave. Get dates here. </shamelessplug>

-AR

I’m in the process of falling in love with Heirs to Thievery – and I think we all know that the courtship is the most exciting part of any relationship. I can’t decide which song is my favorite – I have it narrowed down to either the fifth track, “The Spectator,” or pretty much anything that comes after it – and it probably has some flaws, but I can’t really see them right now. Am I still gonna wanna hit that in six months? Only time will tell, but right now, I’m seriously considering calling Vince to be a witness and running down to city hall.

So the album comes out this Tuesday on Relapse, but you can fall in love with it right now – Heirs to Thievery is streaming right here. Don’t let your other albums see you headbanging to it or they might get jealous.

And, of course, don’t forget that Misery Index are part of the MetalSucks-presented Facemelter Tour 2010 with Dying Fetus, Arsis, Annotations of an Autopsy and Conducting from the Grave. The trek kicked off last night in Baltimore – was anyone there? Did Misery Index play much of the new album? Drop us a line and let us know how it was if you went. And the rest of you can get the ongoing dates here.

-AR

The MetalSucks-sponsored “Facemelter Tour 2010″ is sure to be the most bone-breakingly, ass-rippingly, and, yeah, face-meltingly br00tal tour of the season. Dying Fetus. Holy shit, do those dudes crush live. Arsis? Misery Index? If you ever wanna have childen, I hope you’ve donated sperm recently, because those bands are gonna crush your balls into dust. Sadly, I’ve never seen Annotation of an Autopsy or Conducting from the Grave live before, but given their excellence in the field of “FUCK YOU GGGRRRRR!!!” and brain-melting, it’s hard for me to imagine they’ll do anything but crack skulls and break necks.

And the tour kicks off tonight in Baltimore! Only pansies are gonna miss this thing… and you’re not a pansy, are you? So get dates here, and then get your ass out to a show. It will rule your world.

-AR

We’ve already heard a bootleg live recording of the title track from Misery Index’s new album, Heirs to Thievery; now the actual studio recording is streaming on the band’s MySpace page. And – no shocks here – it’s a scorcher. Alongside “Carrion Call,” the other new song from the album the band has released (and which has an opening riff that increasingly kind of reminds me of The Red Chord’s “Lay the Trap” – anyone else get that feeling?), it’s starting to become pretty clear that Misery Index have done it again. If this don’t scratch Vince’s DM itch, ain’t nuthin’ gunna.

Heirs to Thievery comes out via Relapse on May 11. And don’t forget that the band are on the MetalSucks-sponsored Facemelter Tour with Dying Fetus, Arsis, Annotations of an Autopsy and Conducting from the Grave. Get dates here.

-AR

I haven’t listened to the promo Relapse sent us of Heirs to Thievery, the new Misery Index album, because it has beeps over the music every thirty seconds or so, and, well, brutal death grind, lacking in melody though it may be, was not meant to be constantly interrupted by beeping. I’m really excited to hear this album, but when I do finally hear it, I want it to hear it properly.

So “Carrion Call,” the new studio recording the band has posted on their MySpace page, is our first real taste of Heirs (We’ve also heard a bootleg live recording of the title track). But it’s a good taste! Tastes like Misery Index. Mmm… Misery Indexxxxxxxx [slobbers].

Heirs to Thievery comes out, beep-free, on May 11. And don’t forget that the band are on the MetalSucks-sponsored Facemelter Tour with Dying Fetus, Arsis, Annotations of an Autopsy and Conducting from the Grave. Get dates here.

-AR

At MetalSucks we love tours that mix the old and the new (see also: The Tyrants of Evil Tour we sponsored which featured Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis and Mutiny Within), which is why we jumped at the chance to sponsor this Spring’s Facemelter tour, guarantee to melt faces with death metal spanning two decades. Tours like this offer the older bands a chance to reach younger fans, younger bands a chance to win over hardened OG heshers and you, the fans, a chance to learn about new music you’re pre-disposed to enjoy. Everyone wins!

Though Dying Fetus are the only true old schoolers on this tour — and by the way have you seen Dying Fetus live lately?? holy fuck, they alone will make this tour live up to its name — Misery Index and Arsis both have a bit of an old-school vibe despite their music’s firm roots in the present. And for the kids we’ve got Annotations of an Autopsy and Conducting From the Grave, two excellent new school death metal-inspired bands we’ve yet to see live.

Definitely one of the most exciting touring lineups of the Spring. Full list of confirmed tour dates after the jump, with more to be added soon.

Click to read more…

I know the name wouldn’t be very metal, but I’m increasingly convinced that Misery Index should change their name to “Happy Index,” ’cause they make me so happy. And you so happy. I mean, right now, I’m cranking this new MI song, “Heirs to Thievery,” that our bro-bros at Metal Injection snagged on film, and there are birds chirpin’ outside my window! They’re all “YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! MISERY INDEX FUCKING R00LZ MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!” And the birds are right. Misery Index fucking r00lz.

“Heirs to Thievery” will presumably be on Misery Index’s new album, which should be out later this year on Relapse. While you’re waiting, Metal Injection has more footage of the band crushin’ it at this show, as well as some cool footage of Swarm of the Lotus. Check it out here.

-AR

Mr. Awesome! Here’s his winning entry:

I deserve to win the tickets because the first time I had sex, Magrudergrind was playing in the background and I lasted for the full length of one of their songs.

For actually managing to make me laugh, Mr. Awesome wins a pair of tickets to tomorrow’s Misery Index/Magrudergrind/Mutant Supremacy show at Union Pool in Brooklyn. Congrats, Mr. Awesome… and have an awesome time (see what I did there?)!

-AR

It was just about a month ago that I told you how excited I am for Misery Index’s tour with Magrudergrind; well, the trek is now underway, and they’re hitting the insanely intimate Union Pool in Brooklyn this Saturday night. I always have a good time at Union Pool – why just this past Friday night I watched Unsane and Made Out of Babies destroy there (Gary Suarez’s review coming later today!). So if you live in the area and have never seen a show there, well, here’s your chance – and for a gig that promises to sort the pussies from the dicks. (Brooklyn’s own Mutant Supremacy is also on the bill; I don’t really know them, but the stuff on their MySpace page is cool.)

And I have a pair of tickets away! All you have to do to win ‘em is tell me in the comments section below why you should win ‘em. And please remember to register for the comments section with a valid e-mail address, as the winner will be contacted by e-mail on Friday morning. We’ll also announce the winner publicly at that time, so that everyone else can cry.

And if you don’t live in the New York area, get other dates for the tour after the jump!

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I wouldn’t exactly expect Misery Index and Magrudergrind to tour together – MI is a straight-up, no bullshit death metal band, and Magrudergrind, well, isn’t. I don’t see the two bands as having much in common besides that facts that both their monikers start with a letter “m,” and they both rip off faces, eat those faces, shit out those faces, reattach those faces, and repeat.

But, hey, that’s good enough for me! Lambgoat says the two bands will be hitting the road together starting in February. A simple, two-band bill, where the bands don’t sound at all alike and are both awesome? What’s not to love?

Get a complete list of dates after the jump…

Click to read more…

Hey, lookee! Another Video Tour Blog from Misery Index! If you haven’t been watching these, you’re missing out; they’re way more interesting and funny than your usual get drunk / puke video blogs (though there’s plenty of that too. catch up: Parts 1 through 3). In this episode, we see what happens when drunken metal musicians try to throw rocks at empty beer bottles, more bird-watching with Jason Netherton, and a ton of live footage of Misery Index playing massive European Summer festivals.

[This exclusive has now ended.]

Wanna know what’s worse than cops that have decided to ruin your day? Customs officials that have decided to make an example out of you.

Click to read more…

If you haven’t been following our series of exclusive tour diaries by Misery Index, you’re missing out (check out Part 1 and Part 2). Put together by the band themselves, they’re insightful and hilarious looks into the band’s behind-the-scenes lives (and not just in the usual get-wasted-and-barf-all-over-each-other way). The third and final installment, below, covers their journey through the European festival circuit. Hopefully we’ll be able to get more of these from Misery Index in the future — thanks guys! Catch ‘em on tour for the rest of August throughout Europe.

[This exclusive has now ended.]

Alright, people. I feel like fucking death. I just wanna go lie down and hopefully never wake up. Let’s get this over with:

• We finally finished the goddamn motherfucking list with “Albums We Wish Had Made It” entries from my man Vince (Soilwork’s Natural Born Chaos) and my girl Amy Sciarretto (DEP’s not-really-eligible Calculating Infinity).
• We got another exclusive world tour video tour diary from Misery Index. We also spoke with Johnny Kelly of Type O Negative and Seventh Void and got our bro-bros at Thrash Hits to do a video interview with Trigger the Bloodshed for us. Thanks, dudes.
• We lost IQ points just watching this video interview with the singer of Attack! Attack!
• We have it on good authority that there’s gonna be an Acid Bath reunion.
• Dallas Coyle is now answering your questions.
• So is Gwar’s Oderus Urungus.

We’ll be at Summer Slaughter on Sunday. If any of you spot us and want to buy us a drink, please, for the love of all things holy, don’t.

-AR

Maryland death-thrashers Misery Index (whose excellent 2008 album Traitors our own Axl Rosenberg gave a four-out-of-five-horns rating and our own David Bee Roth ranked his #8 album of 2008) are currently touring the world, and they’ve been so kind as to produce an exclusive 3-part video blog series for MetalSucks documenting their lives on the road and the crazy shenanigans that ensue. Part 1 took a look at the band’s road experiences and bird-watching hobby on their European tour, while Part 2 goes behind the scenes of their Japanese tour; automated toilets, Japanese beer, bullet trains, the band’s visit to a temple in Kyoto, and a funny little Japanese chick in a Burzum t-shirt. You know, the usual. Part 3 is coming soon!

-VN

[This exclusive has now ended.]

When the lads of Maryland death-thrashers Misery Index (whose excellent 2008 album Traitors our own Axl Rosenberg gave a four-out-of-five-horns rating and our own David Bee Roth ranked his #8 album of 2008) approached us about doing a video blog series for their current world tour, we were a bit skeptical; lots of bands pitch us all like, “hey doodz we’ll do a tour blog it’ll be awesome booze bitches drugs metal rawwwr yeaahhhh!” and then never deliver. But Misery Index have delivered in spades with Part 1 of the 3 Part series, a hilarious look into the band’s life on the European leg of their tour including band introductions, backstage shenanigans, live footage, and, um… bird-watching. The best is when bassist/vocalist Jason Netherton convinces a bunch of dudes in European metal bands — unaware of the awesomeness that is our site — to say “Metal Sucks!!!” to the camera. Stay tuned for Part 2: Japan, coming soon to a douchie metal site near you.

-VN

[This exclusive has now ended.]