Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at 4:30pm by Doc Coyle
I am going to assume that a decent portion of the followers of this site are themselves musicians with bands of their own. That is generally how it goes with metal. There are seamless lines blurred between the “fans” and the “bands” because, like myself, many metal patrons represent both categories. Without this large sector of musician fans, technically proficient bands that cater directly to this base (like Dream Theater, Meshuggah, and Necrophagiast) would be much less successful. So to those musicians, I would like to use this blog to shine a light on one of the harsh truths in all music and entertainment that many musicians choose to ignore -
Image matters a lot in this industry. In fact, it’s probably just as important as the music. Click to read more…
Monday, March 15th, 2010 at 11:00am by Axl Rosenberg
I wish I could find video of this somewhere, but I seem to recall a red carpet interview with Robert Downey, Jr. at last week’s Oscars, where the interviewer told him there was a rumor that Ozzy Osbourne wanted Downey to play him in a movie. The reviewer asked if Downey would ever consider such a role; Downey deferred to his wife, producer Susan Downey, who replied “It all depends on the script,” which is Hollywood-speak for “It all depends on how much money they offer us.”
At the time this all struck me as “What if?” talk – but now Metal Underground is reporting a rumor that Ozzy is “in talks with several studios” about turning his recent (and, much to my disbelief, apparently quite good) autobiography, I Am Ozzy, into a feature film.
Thursday’s big announcement of Aerosmith’s reconciliation (and tour!) kinda ensured that I’d spend all afternoon hiding a conspicuous boner. Even so, it was nice to exhale after months spent watching helplessly as Steven Tyler threatened to diva his way out of earth’s last rock ‘n roll band and into the world of tragically misguided solo careers. But perhaps Tyler’s new representation successfully conveyed to him the probable result of such a move: Either he could bank on big tours as Aerosmith frontman with, say, Motley Crue, or risk co-headlining casinos with Vince Neil. Scary! Tyler’s personal “brand” goes unmentioned in the band’s, uh, statement, so the Tyler/Neil Sadness + Shame Tour might happen someday for all we know. For now, Tyler and the ancient men of Aerosmith are now girding up their loins for a few more awesome gigs. And I say, Hell yes. Hell yes, I say.
My slavish hanging on the balls of Aerosmith is embarrassing, but I can’t help it that my ears are gay. Also, I follow an example set by James Malone of Arsis, whose love of silly bands is expressed without hesitation. It’s shameful to forever drag the poor guy down with me whenever I feel insecure about my, uh, proclivities, and shit, actually, the whole point of mentioning Aerosmith was to hurry along* my drooling praise of the new fucking Arsis record, Starve For The Devil, which is a pure white beam of awesomeness. So it’s all connected, friends. Plus, Malone and Tyler each have some totally understandable rehab time in their recent past. Actually, if some jerk writer wanted to recklessly jump to pat conclusions, he’d assert that S4tD seems to reflect a victory in Malone’s personal battles; it’s still Arsis, but bigger, better, and way more fun! To get the idea, imagine 2008’s We Are The Nightmare but expand it sonically and rhythmically tenfold in every direction. Then imagine snappy lyrics, riffs that aren’t so needlessly busy, and grooves that jam. Then imagine your last $15 angrily demanding to be spent on a crisp new copy of Starve For The Devil.
- ADF
*That is, I wanted to be brief about Arsis to allow for about three hours of Aerosmith karaoke tonight.
Friday, February 19th, 2010 at 11:32am by Axl Rosenberg
When I sat down to watch “Tattoos and Tequila,” the new video for the title track from Vince Neil’s forthcoming solo album, I was expecting something terrible. But I gotta hand it Vince Neil – he always finds creative ways to reach new platitudes of suck. This video is ridiculous, which is fine, but you really, really need to listen to the lyrics to get the full “What the fuck?”ness of it all.
Jeff Blando (from Slaughter) does an okay job with the generic, wah-heavy guitar solo, but really, the only cool thing about this is his awesome drummer, Zoltan Chaney (no, not that douche bag). I’m obligated to tell you that the album will be out in May, but you’ve probably already forgotten what you’re reading about right now.
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 11:30am by Corey Mitchell
I really wanted to like this book. I really did.
As an old school Hanoi Rocks fan, I assumed this would be an eye-opening tell-all by the man behind the band that spawned sleaze rock which was later ripped off by Guns N’ Roses and lesser lights such as L.A. Guns and Faster Pussycat. Instead, it’s just a big ol’ mess of discombobulated anecdotes that do not enlighten the uninitiated, enthrall those already on board the Hanoi train, nor excite undiscerning lovers of rock ‘n roll.
Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 12:41pm by Axl Rosenberg
One of New Year’s resolutions, next to start exercising (actually doing that one) and get Sacha the Death Metal Puppy a trainer so he stops terrorizing the Mansion (don’t seem to be actually doing that one), was not to write about the new Godsuck album. For all of you who seem to enjoy making fun of Limp Bizkit and Korn as much as we do, there’s all a contingent of you who want us to spend more time writing about good bands and less time smack talkin’ the bad, so I thought I’d give that a shot; also, I don’t mind making sacrifices for you, our loyal readers, but I really can’t see myself laying on my death bed thinking “Man, I wish I’d heard the new Godsuck song in 2010 at least once.”
But now there’s this rumor that Godsuck’s new single, “Cryin’ Like a Bitch,” is actually about Nikki Sixx. So of course, I had to investigate.
Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
So this couple was caught fucking at a Motley Crue concert in Winnipeg last week, and were promptly ejected from the concert. There was video of the incident, which has now been taken off of YouTube, I guess because it’s “obscene” or whatever. But I’m not sure what the big deal is. Motley Crue songs are pretty much all about fucking, even when they’re technically not (“Dr. Feelgood,” etc.), so I’d imagine there’s one drunk couple gettin’ it on at pretty much EVERY Motley Crue concert. In fact, here are ten things I’d find more surprising to see at a Crue show:
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 1:25pm by Corey Mitchell
My never-ending pursuit of rock star book excellence continues. This week it’s Saul Hudson of Guns N’ Roses fame with his 2007 autobiographySlash, co-authored by Anthony Bozza, and it is the epitome of a killer rock star autobiography.
I had serious doubts about whether or not I was going to like this book. First off, I have no love for Guns N’ Roses beyond Appetite for Destruction. I was one of the band’s biggest fans behind the strength of their Live ?!*@ Like a Suicide EP and AFD. Once Lies came out though, I was done. Couldn’t stand it (the non-Suicide tracks, that is) or them. So that was strike one.
Strike two came in the form of co-author Anthony Bozza, who also performed the same chores on Tommy Lee’s horrendous autobiography Tommyland (read my review here). What a terrible book that was; I lay much of the blame on Bozza’s shoulders.
Obviously, I was skeptical about reading Slash.
I’m happy to report that my skepticism was unfounded. Slash kicks ass!
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 5:00pm by Justin Foley
The Austerity Program play this Sunday January 31, in Brooklyn at Public Assembly (70 N 6th St) with White Suns, Immanent Voiceless, Daniel Malinsky. You should go, goddammit!!!
I did not get into metal until relatively late in life. My teenage years were spent buying everything that came out on Touch & Go and Amphetamine Reptile. I’d see long-haired wasteoids hanging out in suburban playgrounds and think “Look at those chumps who’ve got it so bad for Reign in Blood while I know that Atomizer is really where it’s at. (Actually, I still pretty much feel this way.) At that point, MetalSucks was not a website, it was a personal belief.
Still, I was not unaware of what the metal kids were up to, even around fourth grade. A few of them that I invited to my birthday that year party chipped in and bought “Shout at the Devil;” since I only had about twelve records at that point, I figured that I’d listen to the record once a day because what else are you going to do? And it kind of freaked my parents out, and that was cool. And it had a pentagram on the cover which I spent a lot of time trying not to look at because I was worried something might happen to me.
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 10:27am by Corey Mitchell
Time for another look at an existing rock biography that may have escaped your literary radar. Last time, I reviewed Mötley Crüe’s Nikki Sixx’s excellent paean to self-pity and self-destruction, The Heroin Diaries. This time around, it’s his band mate, drug buddy, and human puppet toy, Tommy Lee’s 2004 autobiography Tommyland.
First off, Tommy Lee is a dick.
Or, rather, I should say; first off, Tommy Lee’s dick shoots off the festivities.
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 at 3:30pm by Corey Mitchell
I write books and also for MetalSucks so it’s about time I reviewed some metal books. I’ll start with a few rock autobiographies that have been out for awhile. First up is Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe and his needle gazing memoir The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star.
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 at 1:00pm by Vince Neilstein
Them Crooked Vultures debuted in the Top 20… how ’bout that. Not surprising given the cast of characters, I suppose. MetalSucks guest blogger Devin mothafuckin’ Townsend debuted in the Top 200, while a few other metal releases maintained. It’s all holiday shlock and best-of compilations from hereon out.
[UPDATE: Devin will be calling in to the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 8pm EST! Make sure you tune in; get details here.]
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Dane Cook, a comedian so devastatingly untalented that he makes terminal cancer look funny by comparison, is collaborating with Tommy Lee, the modern era’s single best argument for using a condom. The two have recorded a track for a new Cook album (I didn’t know there was an old Cook album, but only because I don’t hate myself), and Cook describes the song as “a little bit in the Jack Johnson vein, a little bit funky, a little jazzy.”
Of course, both Nostradamus and the Mayans predicted such a team-up when they foretold of the apocalypse, and I’d heard that the twist to the upcoming end-of-the-world thriller 2012 was that all the destruction is caused by a Cook-Lee song that’s a little bit in the Jack Johnson vein.
But I thought we had more time. I thought we had more time, damn it!
I won’t be able to do any more posting today. I have to go say farewell to my loved ones, and hopefully get laid one last time, before our world is destroyed forever. Damn you, Cook and Lee! GOD DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 5:03pm by Axl Rosenberg
Remember when I posted Enuff Z’Nuff’s awesomely terrible video for “Fly High Michelle” back in September? Well, in case you don’t or just need to re-live the glory, here’s the clip again:
Amazing, right? I mean “amazing” in the sense that “Holy poop I cannot believe anyone ever thought that this was an okay idea,” not in the “GOJIRA LIVE!!!” sense.
ANYWAY, I mention it because Bring Back Glam reports that fans – assuming this band still has any – can now “purchase a royalty earning share… of either ‘Baby Loves You’ [another Enuff Z'Nuff song] or ‘Fly High Michelle.’”
Some time in 1993 Axl dubbed me a tape; on one side was Living Colour’s Stain, and on the other side Vince Neil’s first solo record Exposed. My life was changed forever. While my namesake hasn’t managed to hold onto much any credibility in the years since, Exposed still holds up thanks in no small part to the guitar wizardry of the indomitable Steve “Jew from the Bronx changed my name to be a rockstar” Stevens.
While I’m not sure who’s even in Neil’s solo band at the moment (Keri Kelli?) I’m certain it isn’t Stevens, making this record circumspect from the getgo. Not that there aren’t other good guitar players out there but let’s face it, Neil’s a complete hack who definitely needs song written for him ala Ozzy, nahmean? So let’s (as in me and Axl) just agree to be cautiously optimistic about this one.
Here’s Neil w/ Stevens performing “Look In Her Eyes” in Chicago in 1993.
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 12:00pm by Vince Neilstein
Industry guru Bob Lefsetz, in one of his typically off-topic rants — in this case, a lengthy story about getting his ass checked for colon cancer (yes, really) — managed to sneak in this gem of insight about Tommy Lee:
And then they’re running late [at the doctor's office]. Which gives me enough time to read “Fortune” and find out that Tommy Lee is letting the public record his album. Enough with the gimmicks Tommy, NO ONE WANTS YOUR ALBUM! Yup, he records drums and vocals, you create the music and he owns it. Huh? Why does everybody keep paying attention to Mr. Lee. He’s a DRUMMER! He should be thankful that people still want to see him in Motley Crue.
I mean, right? Can we all please get a big, rousing “WHAT THE FUCK???” for Tommy Lee? Why do we even waste our breath talking about the guy? Let’s all collectively agree to stop buying into Tommy’s shenanigans and just ignore the damn guy.
But then again… the new American populace Methods of Mayhem is probably gonna give us tons of material here. Nevermind.
Friday, October 9th, 2009 at 3:12pm by Axl Rosenberg
He would have been 69 years old today.
I did an informal poll on Twitter to find good metal covers of Beatles songs, and while a number of people made creative suggestions and a lot of people were all into Beatallica n’ shit, the general consensus seemed to be that Motley Crue’s version of “Helter Skelter” still reigns supreme. So without further adieu…
Feel free to discuss your own favorite metal versions of songs originally by The Beatles below.
Monday, September 21st, 2009 at 12:30pm by Vince Neilstein
Some things never change, like Vince Neil getting winded and letting the audience the sing all the words, or Tommy Lee sounding like a complete idiot every time he opens his mouth. But some things do change, and this era of Motley Crue absolutely smokes the modern incarnation in the live setting. Tommy Lee is in top shape rockin’ the double bass behind the kit, Mick Mars can actually move, Nikki Sixx somehow manages to run around in high heels (credit where it’s due!) and my namesake surprisingly doesn’t sound half-bad when he is singing. I would’ve loved to have been 18 in 1983 and seen Motley Crue in their prime. Thanks to MetalSucks Maniac Shane Gillis for sending in this gem.
