Alright, so I don’t know if anyone remembers this — hell, I didn’t remember it until I did search of the MS archives — but more than three years ago, Korn “guitarist” Munky announced the formation of Fear and the Nervous System, a new supergroup featuring Bad4Good‘s Brooks Wackerman and, INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTINGLY, Faith No More’s Billy Gould.

So. I’ve actually been listening to a LOT of Faith No More for the past week. I couldn’t figure out the origin of the sudden, uncontrollable urge to just put my FNM on “shuffle” and revel in its genius, until I realized it’s almost the one year anniversary of last summer’s glorious FNM reunion shows in Brooklyn. My brain is funny like that; it always recalls anniversaries, even if I’m not consciously aware of them.

And now Fear and the Nervous System have actually released a song, “Choking Victim.” And it’s fucking terrible. So my week has now been like the equivalent of Billy Gould taking me to a secluded private getaway for a long, romantic weekend, and then, right be fore we leave, spitting in my eye, grabbing me, shoved my nose directly into his ass, and farted.

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Tales of Korn guitarist James “Munky” Schaffer are well-documented, like the time he got pummeled by a member of Droid, and now his wasted exploits are available for all the world to hear courtesy of the Noisecreep CreepShow. Host Jon Wiederhorn greets Munky on the phone at the very top of the broadcast, and the Korn guitarist is completely wasted lying poolside at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas (’cause that’s where the cool kids hang out at 11:30am). Munky is next-level drunk and pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth is gold; I don’t want to ruin it for you, but a choice nugget includes him pining for Head to come back to the band.

-VN

Last night, Vince and I attended a listening party for Korn’s latest earth-shattering masterpiece, Korn III: Remember Who You Are. “But Axl,” you ask, “if you and Vince hate Korn so much, why did you go?” Well, three reasons:

1. We were told there’d be free drinks.
2. We thought it would be really funny.
3. We were told there’d be free drinks.

And there were free drinks! Unfortunately, there wasn’t much humor to be had.

ANYWAY, as part of the presentation, three-fifths of the band got up – Fieldy and whomever is playing the second guitar with the group these days were absent – and said a few words, none of which made any impression on me. Then they played the album. Herewith, my thoughts on said album, track-by-track.

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What the fucking fuck are these fucking Behind the Player DVDs? It seems like Blabbermouth posts a new story about them every hour on the hour. As far as I can tell, they’re just the same bullshit instructional videos that musicians have been releasing for years and that .001% of the population actually buys. Marketing-wise, I can’t tell if it’s a good idea or a terrible idea to launch the series by releasing new DVDs with Duff McKagan, Munky, Fieldy, John 5, Paul Gray, Blasko, Tommy Clufetos, Shannon Larkin, Mike Inez, Ringo Starr, Max Weinberg, The Captain and Tennille, Vanilla Ice, Tupac Shakur, Frankenstein’s Monster, Elliot Gould, Murderface, Bob Loblaw, Dick Cavett, Joey Fatone, and Rerun from Good Times all at once. But it’s happening.

In any case, we haven’t received a single press release about these DVDs here at the MetalSucks Mansion. So whomever is sending out said press releases obviously isn’t cool.

-AR

A whole bunch of you tried to win a free copy of Slipknot’s Iowa by identifying last week’s logo, but literally only one of you got it right (the band is called Gorevent, by the way). So Mr. Nathan Rich, congrats. Your CD is in the mail.

This week we’re giving away a copy of the eponymous debut from Droid. In case you don’t know Droid, they’re the band Korn guitarist Munky signed to his Emotional Syphon label… and then one of the band’s members put him down like he was Glen Danzig. Very nice.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select the winner from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her name one week from today.

Now get crackin’ everyone…

-AR

-AR

When Munky bailed on Korn mid-tour earlier this year, we said what most people were already thinking: the dude is done with the band. But at least one reader, the eloquently named “DISTURBED4LIFE,” disagreed, throwing it in our face that Munky had, indeed, re-joined the band later in the tour:

“hes still in the band.. next time get your info right.”

So, yes, I suppose that Munky is still technically in Korn. But Jonathan Davis is doing a solo tour this summer and Munky has announced the formation of a new supergroup, Fear and the Nervous System, so you tell me if these guys still like one another.

ANYWAY, Munky’s new band will feature the guitar player pairing no one was waiting for in Munky and Wes Borland*, and will also include Bad Religion’s Brooks Wackerman on the drums and, on the bass… BILLY FUCKING GOULD.

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HOLY SHIT. Munky has just left Korn mid-tour due to “personal and family reasons.” That’s right: Korn’s current European jaunt will now feature a whopping two original members.

I mean, I suppose that Munky might return to the band, the same way that it seems the door is perpetually open for David Silvera to return someday – but really, who the fuck are we kidding? Silvera’s been away for well over a year and missed an entire album (two if you count the incredibly misguided Unplugged), and I wouldn’t be surprised if Munky is done for good, too – especially in light of the fact that he’s rumored to be recording a solo album.

I guess the real question now is, will the band be able to maintain any of its fan base with just its singer and bassist present? I mean, none of these dudes are exactly top-notch musicians, and their replacements are all generally better players than they are. At the same time, Davis doesn’t have the mystique of an Axl Rose or the reputation for being a creative mastermind like Dave Mustaine or Erik Rutan or Tim Roth, so I can’t see people caring now that the band is a borderline solo-act (sorry if I’m downplaying Fieldy’s contributions – assuming he makes a contribution).

The good news for Korn fans is that the faster this act falls apart, the sooner the inevitable overblown Motley Crue-style reunion tour will take place.

-AR

So apparently Korn’s Munky got his ass handed to him by one of the members of Droid. I’d find this pretty hilarious in and of itself, but adding greatly to my enjoyment of this news is that fact that Droid are signed to Munky’s own record label, Emotional Syphon Recordings (which is almost as stupid a name as “Munky”… almost). Sheesh. Talk about not being appreciative.

Needless to say, this means Droid are gonna lose their current support slot for Korn. Some radio station apparently had a photo of Munky lying on the ground post-fight, but it’s gone now. If anyone knows where to find the photo, let us know. In the meantime, I’m gonna go e-mail Munky Glen Danzig’s digits; I’m sure they have lots to talk about.

-AR