Do you like burgers? Do you like bowling? Do you love The Ultimate Warrior and have a strong desire to listen to loud, obnoxious death grind and kill every fucking thing in your fucking way? Well then you’ll love the MetalSucks co-sponsoried Burgers & Bowling tour! It’s being headlined by The Red Chord, who are one of our most favoritest bands in modern metal, and My Children My Bride, Those Who Lie Beneath, and Chelsea Grin are on all on the bill, just to sweeten the deal. Plus, if you don’t go, we’re sending The Ultimate Warrior to your house to fuck your mom and put you in traction. Just throwing that out there. Y’know. No pressure.

Complete list of dates after the jump. These shows are gonna be INSANE.

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As a co-sponsor of the 2009 run of the Thrash & Burn Tour, MetalSucks is pleased to announce the full, confirmed lineup of bands for this year’s trek. The tour will run through the U.S. from July 24th through August 30th, 2009, and will be headlined by MetalSucks-faves Devildriver. Support will come from Emmure, Despised Icon, My Children My Bride, Veil of Maya, For The Fallen Dreams, Oceano, Periphery and Red River Revival [UPDATE: Red River Revival will not be on the tour. -Ed.]

While we at MetalSucks can’t say we vouch for every single one of those bands, we appreciate the “something for everyone” angle of this year’s tour, and there’s absolutely no denying it; that is an amazing lineup, and if you aren’t interested in at least a few of those bands we highly suggest you stop drinking that Haterade pronto. We’ll be there for sure. We’ll have tour announcements for you leading up to and through the duration of the tour, including tour dates and cities very soon. As soon as we know, so will you!

See you this summer.