So in case the animation style didn’t immediately tip you off, Metalocalypse co-creator Brendon Small directed the video for “Black Rain,” the new old Soundgarden song that was recorded during the Badmotorfinger sessions and has nothing to do with the painfully mediocre Ozzy album of the same title.

Thing is, the video features a cameo (actually multiple cameos) by Dethklok and Charles Foster Offdensen, that “band”‘s manager/lawyer/CFO. And while that’s a good way to lure in young ‘uns who maybe love Dethklok but don’t remember Soundgarden, it strikes me as being wildly out-of-place — I mean, I don’t think the Dethklok dudes would be Soundgarden fans. Even if they found the music br00tal enough (which I don’t think they would), I imagine that Chris Cornell’s consistently, uh, questionable artistic decisions would be enough to warrant extreme violence from Nathan Explosion and the gang.

Yep. I’m speculating on the feelings and aesthetic criticisms of a cartoon band. Just another day here at MetalSucks.

ANYWAY, potential character inconsistencies aside, this video is pretty cool. Check it out below, then let us know if you think Dethklok would dig Soundgarden or not in the comments section.

“Black Rain” will appear on Soundgarden’s new greatest hits collection, Telephantasm, which comes out September 28.

-AR

WARNING: Bobbi sent us a new portrait of herself to use this month, and while we’re very excited about the picture (in more ways than one), it is very much NSFW, so we’ve had to put it after the jump. Enjoy, you horn dogs.

Nathan Explosion, the always ironic, always self-parodying, and always cool animated front man of Dethklok, once resolved to make the most metal coffee the world would ever see. What would make it metal? By making it blacker than the blackest black, times infinity.

In the same way, I am looking to make porn metal by making it harder than the hardest hardcore, times infinity. Admittedly, it’s a much easier job than making coffee metal, since porn easily fits into one — or two, depending on the performer we’re talking about — of the holy triumvirate pantheon of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. (Though if you’re a Mormon, coffee would be a drug, and therefore metal. But being a Mormon would not be metal, so the two would cancel each other out. Therefore you’d have to do nasty, filthy porn like Belladonna to be metal. but I digress.)

In fact, AVN, the trade magazine of the porn industry, was eagerly anticipating the crossover of rock and porn for most of the ’90s, like a crazed Christian fundamentalist convinced that Jesus was due back any day now. This anticipation was replaced in the 2000s by the crossover of rap and porn that was going to happen any day, which, strangely enough, also did not happen. (My publicist is eagerly awaiting the inevitable madrigal/porn crossover that will happen this decade. Hey nonny nonny, indeed.)

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Remember the third season of Metalocalypse? ‘Cause I barely do. Not that I don’t love the show — it just feels like it aired so goddamn long ago. What happened? How many episodes were there? I remember they got longer, but… that’s about it. Sheesh.

Luckily, I can soon refresh my memory: Noisecreep tells me that the third season is coming to DVD and Blu-Ray — the latter being a first for the program — on November 2. In addition to looking purdier on Blu-Ray, that version of the disc will come with some extra extra features, including “Nathan Explosion reading from William Shakespeare’s Othello and five music videos that were featured on Dethklok’s last tour.” Holy shit, that sounds like fun. Do you think Nathan plays Iago? I would actually put on my Sunday best and go to a theater on Broadway and pay real money to see Nathan Explosion as Iago. [deep, growly Nathan Explosion voice] “I am, uh, not what I am.” I’m suddenly SO HAPPY I made the switch Blu-Ray (the dying format of physical media be damned!), I can’t even tell you.

And then hopefully at some point in the near future we’ll get more Metalocalypse episodes at a consistent enough rate that I won’t completely forget what happened.

-AR

Dethklok fans – here’s a fun lil’ press release we just received at the Mansion:

“Konami announced today that a video game based on the hit Adult Swim series Metalocalypse is currently in development for Xbox LIVE® Arcade for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and PlayStation®Network. Created by series co-creator Brendon Small and based on the top-rated Adult Swim animated series, the upcoming Metalocalypse: Dethgame will immerse players into the world of Dethklok, the world’s most brutal Norwegian heavy metal band.”

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