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So Oceano recently held a contest to help promote their new album, Contagion, in which the winner got an iPad. And of all the things that Oceano have ever done to offend me — well, really just the one thing, which is make horrible, horrible music — it never even would have occurred to me that this contest prize might be questionable in and of itself.
Yet Shane Mehling at The Deciblog makes this very argument in a recent post:
I woke up this morning and had another visit from the Music Video Fairy! Isn’t that exciting? Let’s see what the bitch left me this time.
First up we have “Weaponized,” Oceano’s first video in support of their sophomore effort, Contagion. First of all, I should be honest and tell you that I watched this video with the sound off. The reasons being a) that I knew the music would be borderline unbearable and b) I can’t understand what the fuck the singer is yelling so the lyrics weren’t gonna help me figure out the “story” or “meaning” of the video anyway. What I failed to anticipate, however, was that I wouldn’t need to be able to understand the lyrics in order to comprehend the video; as they do with their music, Oceano have made a clip so lowest-common-denominator that any simpleton could follow it.
Seriously, if you haven’t read Vince’s epic story about how MetalSucks Maniac “whiskey” won last week’s last week’s photo caption contest, you need to go read it now. It’s pretty amazing. Whiskey’s mom even left a comment! We like to think of MetalSucks as something the whole fucking family can enjoy together, so that warmed the cockles of our collective heart.
Here’s some other fun stuff that happened this week:
Next week is CMJ here in New York! If you’re in the area and looking for some awesome metal, check out our handy guide to all the festivities — including not one but TWO showcases sponsored by MetalSucks. We’re not gonna lie — we are going to be very hungover and tired next week. But that just means we’ll be crankier than usual. We’ll still be here with lots of debuts, interviews, and other assorted nonsense. Bring your mom! It’ll be fun.
-AR
One of the fun things about being a cool blogger d00d is that sometimes bands and labels send you little promotional goodies along with your advance copies of albums. For example, this is the package that my advance copy of Slayer’s World Painted Blood came in:
So. Yesterday afternoon, Earache sent over my promo copy of Oceano’s latest, Contagion, and look what it came with:
As today would never have been possible without Oceano, it’s only right that we hear directly from the voice of that band, Adam Warren. Below, check out his comments on the response to Depths, the concept behind the upcoming Contagion album, and labeling his music “deathcore.”
There must be something in the water out there in Chicago, because they’re churning out ridiculously tight, brutal deathcore bands so fast it makes the American Apparel sweatshop look like it’s in slow motion. Fans of moshing are surely already familiar with Demolisher, Monsters, and Oceano, who are producing some of the best metalcore this side of VOD, Bloodlet or A Life Once Lost. The newest addition to the Chicago moshcore cartel is ROOKS, featuring ex-members of all three bands, and I think they’ll be the most palatable to MetalSucks readers.
To the MetalSucks Maniac known as “Sacajewea,” we would like to say the following: YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD. It’s incredible how retarded you are, you stupid fucking idiot mongoloid half-wit retard.
We send this message because in October of ’09, Sacajewea left a comment on the very first post we ever wrote, saying he was “Just here to dig up the past;” then he left another comment, just this past June, which read:
“I did it twice. Fuck I’m retarded. If anyone sees this please find me in a recent post and tell me how retarded I am.”
On December 26, 2006 — a date that will live in infamy — we did what professionals call a “soft launch” but we just call “the day we first posted on this blog.” Our slogan was “Smart About Metal,” a play on the slogan for Film Comment magazine.
We had these two stupid South Park caricatures that Axl made at his then-job when he was bored. (Axl forgot until just now that he had a really long goatee in ’06; Vince still had phantom Jew ‘fro, where some days he can feel it, man!) We only posted once or twice a day, throughout the week, pretty much when we had time/interest. We didn’t use tags. We often didn’t post graphics or videos. Our headlines weren’t capitalized. We interviewed members of Stuck Mojo and Twisted Sister, because that’s who we could get interviews with. Believe it or not, we tried to get an interview with God Forbid… and we failed.
Basically, we had no fucking idea what we were doing.
We can’t believe that this is our 10,000th post. We can’t believe we’re still doing this almost four years after we started. We can’t believe that so many of you are reading it. Seriously: WE WERE ONLY FUCKING KIDDING.
So…
Thanks to Kip (who has been here longer than anyone besides Vince and Axl!), Sammy, Gary, Anso, Satan (the MetalSucks contributor and the deity), Sergeant D., Bob, Leyla, Corey, Urbandale, Dave, Matt, Ferris, Dallas, Eyal, Sacha, Paul, Bulb, Arthur, Anton OyVey, Rich Hallford, David Bee Roth, Van Arseface, Mike Pattongill, Angela Gossowski, Joey V., and everyone else who has ever written for us… MetalSucks would not be where it is if not for all of you.
Thanks to everyone in the music industry who has helped us over the years, even as they must have been secretly hoping we would van flip.
And of course, thanks to all the MetalSucks Maniacs, Suckalos, annoying people who can’t use the “search” function, and dudes that have sent us death threats. We can’t tell you how grateful we are that you read our site. Thank you thank you thank you.
Now, with a complete lack of humility, Axl and Vince present their ten favorite MetalSucks posts of all time. Enjoy.
That’s right! One of MetalSucks’ most controversial voices — which is really saying something — is gonna be the DJ at tonight’s Heavy Metal Happy Hour at Arrow Bar (85 Avenue A). There are 2-for-1 drinks from 6:00PM until 9:00PM, so if you’ve ever wanted to get drunk and ask Gary “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS OR WHAT?!?!” in person, here’s your chance!
Now the week’s highlights:
As Eyal promised yesterday, next week will see the full-on return of “Jumping Darkness Parade.” Plus we’ll have more contest, more video and track debuts, more interviews, more everything. Be there or be ᄆ.
-AR
I’ve listened to “Precursor to Enslavement,” the new Oceano song, three times already. And by “listened,” I mean “I’ve hit ‘play’ and then at some point started to think about a variety of other topics, ranging from salad spinners to the line at the post office to whatever the fuck that grime under my toe nail is.”
I just can’t seem to stick with this song. I know you may think I’m high, but I’m not — that might actually help me pay attention. And I don’t have ADD, at least not that I know of. I just… keep… drifting off.
It’s not even like I’m bored by the music, so much as I think my brain just can’t maintain interest in a song that sounds like every other fucking deathcore song ever written by this or any other band. These might be the definition of “Triple A riffs.” I mean, they MIGHT be. I can’t say for sure, ’cause like I said, I’m having a really hard time paying attention.
Wait, fuck was I writing about again? Oh, yeah. Oceano have a new song.
Listen here if you want. It comes off the group’s latest, Craptagion, which Earache will release on November 9.
-AR
As one of the few MetalSucks writers willing to wax poetic on the merits of deathcore, I am often subjected to a litany of nasty, grammatically incorrect comments below my posts on such notable artists as Emmure and Suicide Silence. Several basement-dwelling, WiFi-leeching mouthbreathers regularly feel the need to slag the subgenre for perceived crimes against metal. Yet today, I empathize somewhat with these pimple-faced sex-starved haters, feeling especially vexed by a troubling turn of events in the community. Chelsea Grin vocalist Alex Koehler, having suffered a jaw fracture, has had to bow out of a planned Canadian tour with Blind Witness and Attila. Rather than cancel, the group has instead recruited Oceano vocalist Adam Warren to take on pig squealing duties for these dates (which you’ll find below).
And while this does sound like a unique and special opportunity for my neighbors to the north, it does raise an ugly nagging question that I pose to you, faithful reader: are deathcore vocalists interchangeable?
n
Feel free to elaborate in the comments section!
Congrats to MetalSucks Maniac Devin Garvin, who not only correctly identified last week’s logo as beloning to the band Gutted with Broken Glass, but, per my weekly instructions, included his mailing address with his entry, because he’s not a total ree-ree who either doesn’t know how to read, or who thinks that I can somehow intuit his address, or who thinks that I’ll e-mail him to get his address even though plenty of other entrants were smart enough to follow the rules and include their address with their entry. For getting the answer right AND not being an idiot, Devin wins any two CDs and/or DVDs from whatever the hell we have lying around the mansion this week. Devin, please check your e-mail for your list of choices!
This week we have a really, really awesome prize, courtesy the nice folks at Earache Records: a prize pack featuring every Earache artist currently on tour in North America! That’s includes a two CD import copy of Wormrot‘s Abuse, a copy of Order of Ennead‘s An Examination of Being WITH a t-shirt, a copy of Bonded by Blood‘s Exiled to Earth, a copy of Oceano‘s Depths, and a copy of And Hell Followed With‘s Proprioception. That’s a whole lotta free shit!
All you gots to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, ALL ENTRIES WITHOUT AN ADDRESS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select one winner and announce his or her name next week.
This week’s logo was suggested by reader Steve Wigmore…
-AR
Some things never change: The sky is blue, water is wet, and girls only like a band if they want to eff one or more members. I’m a realist: I know there’s probably nothing I can do to change that, but as a responsible adult, I feel like it’s my duty to speak out on this sad state of affairs, and say what nobody else will: LADIES, QUIT EFFING BAND DUDES!!!
Entry-levelers and haters will think this is sour grapes, but it’s not like that at all — as someone with some serious, wizard-level game, I had my “effing a ridiculous/shameful number of random young, stupid, hot girls” phase, but I am now using my powers for good. If I can save just one young girl from blowing some filthy loser, or one young man from making the biggest mistake of his life (joining a band), then all my hard work is worth it!
Just in case Ozzfest, Mayhem, Summer Slaughter, Thrash & Burn, The Cool Tour, Scream Like You Mean It, and, to a lesser extent, American Carnage weren’t enough to keep you occupied this summer (to say nothing of all the regular plain ol’ tours goin’ on), yet another big package/fest tour has been announced: the Over the Limit tour. (And, yes, I realize the above song is actually called “Push it to the Limit.” But any excuse to listen to that awesome, awesome piece of music will suffice.)
The line-up, my thoughts on that line-up, and dates are all after the jump.
Originally, I had planned on livetweeting this year’s New England Metal and Hardcore Festival for the purposes of turning my pithy comments into some sort of proper show report. Looking back on some of those 140-characters-or-less entries, I realized that there was really no need to do so. Instead, below you’ll find a selection of my most poignant tweets from the two day weekender. Enjoy!
DAY ONE
So nice of @metalsucks to have this limo waiting for me at Union Station. My driver Tito has already taken a shine to me. #nemhf 12:42 PM Apr 23rd
My limo driver Tito and I stopped at Uno’s for a quick bite. I wonder if Rose Funeral refuse to eat here on principle. #nemhf 12:52 PM Apr 23rd
It’s good to know that Mike White’s character in School of Rock has a real-life counterpart.
There’s this 29 year-old dude in Stuggart, Germany. His name is Thomas Gurrath, and when he’s not calling himself “The Bloodbeast” and doing vocals for a death metal band called Debauchery, he’s training to be a teacher. I don’t know exactly how old the kids he’d be teaching are, but the subject is “politics, history and ethics,” so I think we can safely assume that the kids are at least at an age where they’re thinking about what it might feel like to touch naughty parts.
ANYWAY, this dude has now been told by the “regional education authorities” that unless he quits the band, his days as a teacher are numbered.
(WARNING: There are some NSFW photos after the jump. It’s a naked chickc covered in Karo syrup. So now you know exactly what you’re getting into by clicking through.)
The musical fate of former Oceano guitarist Andrew Mikhail has at last been revealed! After parting ways with the Chicago-area deathcore noisemakers earlier this year, he’s gone on to sunnier climes with Miami’s metalcore maniacs Thick As Blood. He replaces second guitarist Leonardo “Lenny” Lombardo mere weeks before the band gear up for the North American “Wrath Of Sanity” tour opening for hardcore heavies Earth Crisis and First Blood. It’s a plum job for Mikhail, to say the least, and on behalf of our site I wish him all the best with the group.
If you’re unfamiliar with Thick As Blood, check out the video for “Raising Hell” from their 2009 Eulogy Recordings album Embrace below. Tour dates (including one at the New England Metal/Hardcore Festival) are down there too.
…..AS some of you may or may not have heard, Guitarist, Andrew has parted ways with Oceano. This decision was reached through personal as well as minor quarrels amongst the band. We wont go too much further into detail as it seemingly is not a band issue any longer.
If we’re to use MySpace blog comments as our guide, the fan reaction to last week’s news of Andrew Mikhail’s less-than-amicable departure from self-proclaimed deathcore beef-bringers Oceano was generally postive. In a post marked “Andrew Leaves Oceano” the band acknowledged their former guitarist’s public denouncement of the group before assuring fans that tour plans were not changing in spite of this. Scrolling down the page, however, it seems Mikhail wasn’t entirely happy with the comments being made. Using the presumably Outkast-referencing handle “andrew3000.” he replied directly to Oceano saying:
My car just got towed and I’m pissed. Really fucking pissed. One side effect of being a pantsless blogger is that sometimes you get a little comfortable and forget to do things like move your car when you’re supposed to (and I swear, I didn’t poke any smot today!). Before I go pay $185 to get my shitty fucking 1988 Honda Accord back, I’ll recap what happened this week on MetalSucks. Fuck the world.
Bye.
-VN
Guitarist Andrew Mikhail (who spoke with our own Oceano-loving fiend, Gary Suarez, back in October) has left Oceano. The guitarist revealed his departure in a series of Tweets, each more revealing than the last, starting 2 days ago:
“dawn of a new day” 6:52 PM Feb 1st from mobile web
decided it was time to get out of the water. 7:24 AM Feb 2nd from mobile web
for personal reasons, i left oceano yesterday. wanted to say thanks to everyone who has supported what i’ve done. see you soon, for sure. about 20 hours ago from web
The inevitable Lambgoat post followed as did a barrage of unusually non-offensive comments (one of which is my headline – thanks “the_smile_that_kills”!). The statement Mikhail released to Lambgoat is cryptic and doesn’t say much, but it seems — understandably so — that Mikhail was just tired of playing shitty deathcore.
We look forward to bashing Oceano’s forthcoming Zeuss-produced album when it comes out later this year. That sound you hear is Gary Suarez whimpering in the corner.
-VN
Thanks: Pete Arado.
So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?
Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.
Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.
Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.
And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.
So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”
Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.
And so, without further bullshit…
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