The Bloody Tour of Horror rocks on! City after city fall in flaming ruin as GWAR marches on, our zombie horde growing in power and fury with each passing day. But even as we slay on a global scale I, Oderus Urungus, make the time to answer your idiotic questions, whether they be of cosmic import or complete crap-ola, and always with the typically evasive and insulting aplomb you have come to expect from me. Remember, Bloody Pit of Horror is out Nov. 9, and every album sold is another hit off the old glass dick for Uncle Odie… yes, that’s right, it actually states in my contract that I get paid in crack. And speaking of crack, we will be doing another Crack-a-Thon next year! Check gwar.tv for all kinds of shit. Now — on to your entreaties, human filth!
If you choke a smurf what color does it turn? I would find out myself but for the life of me I can’t find one of the little blue bastards. — Big P
Well, that depends on what kind of Smurf you are talking about. If you are talking about those little dwarf-like animated shit-fucks, I am sorry to tell you that they are indeed just that — animated. They don’t exist, so you can’t strangle them. You’d have more success strangling your own penis, if you possess one, or can get someone to lend you theirs.
If, however, indeed, you are talking about that peculiar species of human that serves as the collector for blister packs of cough medicine that the local “Papa Smurf” uses to cook into crystal meth, I can assure you, from personal experience, that they go just as blue as any other human.
Click to read more…