Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

Say what you will about Cradle of Filth — and I’m sure there will be plenty in the comments below — but they’re responsible for one of the greatest t-shirts of all time. You know the one: topless nun fingering herself on front, massive all-caps “JESUS IS A CUNT” unmistakably stamped on the back. I have fond memories of goth kids shuffling around the mall in the mid-’90s wearing that thing, about to get thrown out by security, and thinking, “Hmmm… not quite as thought-provoking as my ‘9 out of 10 kids prefer crayons to guns’ Pearl Jam shirt, but intriguing nonetheless!”

The accompanying record, of course, was The Principle of Evil Made Flesh, and this month it’s a Decibel Hall of Fame inductee. Other than seeing them live at Download four years ago and laughing for like an hour straight, I don’t have anything productive to add about this band. So, I’ll leave you with not only some outtake action, courtesy of scribe Chris Dick, but a trivia question that will not result in you winning a shirt or subscription: What current Decibel writer is a former member of Cradle of Filth?

And here’s your bonus footage:

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As a man, I’m painfully aware that at any metal show the chances of me being squeezed between two sweaty fat dudes in the front row for 90 minutes is infinitely higher than me being near anything that remotely resembles a female. I say “resembles” because I still remember the time my buddy wrestled a “dude” to the floor of the Commodore Ballroom after they both caught either end of Jimmy Bower’s drumstick. The look on his face when he heard obscenities yelled at him in a screeched, soprano voice ranks pretty highly among my favorite concert memories.

This time the venue was familiar, the metal crowd certainly was not. Oh sure, I already expected the Cradle of Filth fans who can count more zippers, buckles and chains on their outfits than times they’ve heard their parents say they’re proud of them, but beyond platform soles and midnight blue dreadlocks there were many perfectly normal and some perfectly curvy women in attendance. Now, I’ve never really believed that Dani Filth could be a sex symbol for anyone old enough to buy beer, but I guess being the front man of a popular metal band can make even a hideous midget significantly more fuckable. Then again, the gals probably just came out to hear the music.

Oh yeah, you probably want to hear about the music.

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