I was a teenager when singer Bruce Dickinson departed Iron Maiden. It was 1993 and years away from the internet, soon to be our tool for crawling up the asses of any celebrity, even a metal musician. So at the time, I was left to make sense of his resignation using only his words and those of his former bandmates, i.e. official sources.

So I could only speculate about the real story: To me, the culprits were probably burn-out (due to Maiden’s relentless schedule) and bassist Steve Harris’ tight control of Maiden’s creativity. I also suspected that Harris harbored a belief that his Maiden could prosper regardless of personnel; after all, he and manager Rod Smallwood had unflinchingly replaced guitarist Dennis Stratton, singer Paul Di’Anno, drummer Clive Burr, and then-guitarist Adrian Smith just in the band’s first decade as recording artists. My friends called this ‘Arrygance.

But what I didn’t know until now was that Bruce Dickinson had gone slightly, charmingly bonkers. Click to read more…

Round Two of Heavy Metal Blunders brings us, who else? Vince Neil! Yes, the official MS Mansion punching monkey got shipped off to the can last week. At this point, I don’t really care. But I did get a chuckle out of his girlfriend, Alicia Jacobs, who was concerned for her bank account, err… boyfriend. Jacobs claimed Neil was “not eating much other than peanut butter, Doritos and stuff like that. He had a baloney sandwich one day. It’s not optimal conditions.” I wonder what Razzle thinks about dem apples?

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Paul Di’Anno — the former Iron Maiden singer who once compared Steve Harris to Adolf Hitler — just keeps getting smarter and smarter.

His latest staggering act of genius? He claimed benefits of £45,000 — close to $72,000 — after allegedly suffering nerve damage in his back, which was said to have prevented him from working between 2002 and 2008. Fair enough, except that investigators received an anonymous tip (Harris taking revenge, perhaps?) that Di’Anno had, in fact, been performing during that time period. So these investigators, y’know, investigated, and found online videos of him not just singing, but apparently jumping and running around on stage — things he couldn’t do if his back was really in such terrible shape.

But here’s the kicker: THE VIDEOS WERE POSTED ON DI’ANNO’S OWN WEBSITE AND YOUTUBE PAGE.

What.

A fucking.

Moron.

Di’Anno has apparently admitted to screwing taxpayers out of that money, and a judge has told him to expect prison time when he’s sentenced on March 11. I have no idea what the penalty is for insurance fraud in the U.K., but I’m hoping it’s steep. Because this twit has no one to blame for himself. Fuck Iron Maiden; he should just join The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight and get it over with.

-AR

[via The Daily Mail]

Invisible Oranges reminds us that yesterday marked the thirtieth anniversary of the release of Iron Maiden’s sophomore album (and final release with vocalist Paul Di’Anno), Killers.

When reached for comment, Killers told MetalSucks, “Holy shit, dude, I can’t believe I’m thirty. Where did my twenties go? There’s so much I wanted to do that I didn’t get to… I think I’m having a quarter-life crisis.” We tried to reassure Killers that its thirties would be better than its twenties, as it became more self-confident and aware of its abilities and its place in the world, but all it said in reply was, “Easy for you to say, dude, you’re not another year closer to death!”

Geez. For an album with a dude getting butchered on the cover, Killers sure is a whiny pussy.

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“I used to be the singer for Iron Maiden!”

I’ll keep this brief, because it’s the very definition of “self-explanatory.” I mean, it might be one of those “I’m  [insert minority here] so I’m allowed to use the word ‘[insert slanderous term here]‘” things, but my gut tells me it’s really just one of those “I’m not very smart things.”

So. Paul Di’Anno, 2009:

“But you need to take drugs when you’re with Iron Maiden because they’re so fucking boring.”

And Paul Di’Anno, 2010:

“Anyone who slags off on Maiden, I’ll punch them out.”

In conclusion, I very much look forward to watching Paul Di’Anno punch himself out.

-AR

Even if Iron Maiden were always pretty polished, there’s no denying that there was a punk influence on their work with Paul Di’Anno, and that said punk influence carried over to their earliest releases with Bruce Dickinson. A lot of the band’s most famous songs from those barely-separate eras — “Running Free,” “Wratchild,” “Number of the Beast,” “Run to the Hills,” “Flight of Icarus,” etc. — are under five minutes long. There was a lean and mean quality to those songs that the band gradually ditched. In fact, you can trace this progression pretty easily:

• Iron Maiden — Only three songs over five minutes, only one over seven minutes, total run time is 40:39.
• Killers — Only two songs over five minutes, only one over six minutes, total run time is 41:18.
• The Number of the Beast — Only three songs over five minutes, two of which are six minutes plus, one of which is seven minutes plus. Total run time is 40:22.
• Piece of Mind — Four songs over five minutes, two of which are over six, one of which is over seven. Total run time is 45:50.
• Powerslave — Four songs over five minutes, including “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” which is more than thirteen minutes long. Total run time is 50:57.

Then the band got somewhat carried away with Somewhere in Time, which only has one song under five minutes and a total running time of 51:24, and then they reigned things in a little for Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (total run time: 43:50), No Prayer for the Dying (44:25), and Fear of the Dark (58:29). Then they made two albums I like to pretend never happened, and then Bruce Dickinson returned to the band, and, frankly, everything kinda fell to shit:

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Full disclosure: Bob Cock has only listened to The Final Frontier once in its entirety. He also got it just a couple days ago and still has a few other things he’s working on, but this isn’t about excuses.

Let’s face it, though: once a band has become an institution like the almighty Iron Maiden, it’s not so much about the new albums as it is about the band’s legacy. Whether it’s classics (see: Powerslave, Fear of the Dark, Killers, Piece of Mind, etc.), the venerable band’s more recent “comeback” catalog (Brave New World, Dance Of Death, A Matter of Life and Death), the swing and misses (anything – aside from a few songs – with Blaze Bayley), or the underrated (Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son, Iron Maiden), you know you’re going to buy it.

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Hey, remember last year when original Iron Maiden singer Paul Di’Anno called that band “boring” and compared Steve Harris to Hitler? Well in case ya don’t, here’s video of the incident:

So given his feelings on Maiden, you’d assume the singer has no real interest in playing any Maiden material or in any way acknowledging that part of his career, right?

So why the fuck is he doing a “special set” of songs from the first two Maiden albums, Iron Maiden and Killers, at the Hard Rock Hell IV festival in the UK this December?

Oh, yeah. ‘Cause without Iron Maiden, no one would give two shits about this guy. I mean, I’ve never seen Di’Anno live, but if I were him, I’d EXCLUSIVELY play songs from those two albums. And if I ever paid to see him and he didn’t do a whole shit ton of material from those records, I’d probably rush the stage and cock slap him.

What a massive, massive tool.

Interestingly enough, Blaze Bayley, another former Maiden vocalist not worth caring about, will be playing the same festival. Unfortunately, that poor dude didn’t even have Di’Anno’s good fortune to have appeared on any Maiden albums anyone actually listens to.

-AR

From the “I swear to God I’m not bitter” files: former Iron Maiden singer Paul Di’Anno apparently went off during a Q&A in Argentina last month, comparing Steve Harris to Adolf Hitler for his (allegedly) tyrannical grip over the band, which Di’Anno also called “boring.”

First of all, there’s a lot of things you can call Maiden, but “boring” is not one of them. You’ll only find Maiden boring if you hate having fun. Or happen to have your panties in a twist because you’re not in the band anymore. And being in the band is the only worthwhile thing you ever did with your life. And it was decades ago. And you’re nowhere near death. And people won’t stop asking you about it.

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