I guess it’s Axl-has-to-write-about-new-shit-that-neither-especially-excites-nor-bores-him-’cause-other-MetalSuckers-got-shit-to-do day, ’cause as with Amorphis, my feelings on Primordial on pretty indifferent, and as with Amorphis, I still feel obligated to tell you that the band has a new song even though there are other writers here at MS who are much more qualified than I to discuss the band’s work. But I’m a fucking professional, so I’ll power through.

So. The new Primordial track. It’s called “No Grave Deep Enough,” and it’s streaming here. And, um, yeah. I feel no hatred for this band so I don’t wanna slam ‘em, but I feel no love for them, either, so I can’t really sit here and get all super-bonery about it. It exists, and I hope it makes you happy, or, at least, inspires more passion in you than it does in me.

The track will appear on the new Primordial album, Redemption at the Puritan’s Hand, which comes out April 26 on Metal Blade.

-AR

Oh, hey, it’s St. Patty’s Day! Like so many holidays, it’s an excuse for people to get totally fucked up… as though anyone needed an excuse to get totally fucked up. Still, I hope everyone has fun today.

Man, it seems like there is a serious dearth Irish metal bands. There’s Thin Lizzy (if you consider them metal at all) and Primordial and Altar of Plagues and… that’s it. Even most of the famous celtic metal bands aren’t actually from Ireland. Bizarre. You’d think people who liked to drink and fight so much would make a lot of angry music, but I guess they’re too busy, uh, drinking and fighting.

Now, I’m not a Primordial fan, and I know there’s a new Altar of Plagues album coming out, but they haven’t officially released any new music yet, so we’re shit outta luck there. And I already used Thin Lizzy for this holiday back in 2009.

So I’m going with the Dropkick Murphys. Yeah, they’re not metal, and they’re not actually from Ireland, but they do rock, and I am reasonably certain that they could kick everyone in Primordial’s ass without breaking a sweat.

Now who’s got my Shamrock Shake?

-AR

P.S. If anyone knows of any other good Irish metal bands, by all means, please feel free to leave suggestions in the comments section.

It must be that time of year, because new metal is seemingly streaming from every orifice of the Internet. So much music, in fact, that it’s increasingly difficult to keep up with it all (first world problems, we know)… so I’ve decided to pool ‘em all together in one handy-dandy post.

Québécois avant-garde metallers Unexpect have a freakishly fervent cult following; within minutes of new song “Orange Vigilantes” going live on Unexpect’s website earlier this week we had a swarm of emails from excited readers. It’s been nearly five years since Unexpect’s last album In a Flesh Aquarium dropped on The End Records, so I can understand why folks are so excited. And then there’s that other thing: this band is awesome. They’re kind of like extreme metal’s answer to Mr. Bungle, but nerdier, or as reader Chris Dávila calls them, “crazy circus metal.” Look for a release date for Unexpect’s new still-untitled album to be announced soon.

The March 29th release of Surtur Rising draws ever closer, but you don’t have to wait any longer to hear another new song by Swedish viking cock-metallers Amon Amarth.

Click to read more…

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

So, yesterday on the Deciblog we posted a long-ass Justify Your Shitty Taste on “Guns N’ Roses”’ Chinese Democracy, which your fearless co-leader Axl Rosenberg boldly cosigned, followed by, frankly, a surprising amount of you guys (which is to say, more than one). I’m not trying to be a dick here. I mean, I can get behind about 25 percent of this mess (the ballads), but I have fairly shitty taste in rock music. As in, I still think Eight Arms to Hold You kicks ass. Whatever. It was just interesting surveying our entire staff of about 20 writers in an effort to get Chinese Democracy written up, and the only person that responded with a modicum of enthusiasm was Shawn Macomber. Fair enough. But then, cue a minor avalanche of vehement, assured hell yeahs. That’s probably the most satisfying thing about this series — watching that groundswell of minority voices band together for a day or two with a shared “fuck you, I told you it was good!”

Anyway, scrolling through the new issue’s reviews section, I don’t really see any future JYSTs. (Just wait ’til May’s The Haunted review, though.) April is more about giving credit to things that don’t hopelessly suck. Hence, we gave Jonah Hegg his second solo cover (order here). I don’t think the other four Amon Amarth dudes are sweating it; they get their chance to Vike out (ahem) in the table of contents and the actual story. Elsewhere, if you’re a J. Bennett fan, this is your issue — he goes head to head with Glen Benton (I’ll leave the obvious jokes to him), bros down in Alaska with Every Time I Die and files a long-overdue Hall of Fame on Mercyful Fate’s Melissa. If you’re a fan of any other writer on staff, well, they do stuff, too: features on Trap Them, Drugs of Faith, Primordial, Rotten Sound and Subrosa — the latter of which being almost as good as Veruca Salt in their prime.

-AB

You can buy the April 2011 issue of Decibel here, or just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss a review of a future “Justify Your Shitty Taste” entry.

Seems we had a bit of controversy with the photo for last week’s photo caption contest. The fellow who sent it in ripped it from his friend’s Facebook page, and said friend took offense to the portrayal of the photo’s subjects in a discriminatory manner. Said friend then proceeded to sick a lawyer on my ass who demanded I remove the photo, which I obviously did. But the show must go on, and we must select two folks to win a copy of Cough’s Ritual Abuse; surely the 143 of you who entered can recall some approximation of the photo’s content. Here are the winners:

• Peter Griffin: “Black meNtal!”
• (required): “These guys crank it to 47…chromosomes.”

This week we’re giving away a prize pack consisting of two Primordial releases: the All Empires Fall DVD and a CD reissue of their 2000 release Spirit the Earth Aflame. One runner-up will win a copy of just the CD. As per usual, alls ya gotta do to win is come up with the funniest caption to the below photo (sent in by reader Renato of his friend’s band’s final gig in Brazil) and remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect)!

Is it already that time of year? Holy shit, it is! The second annual run of the MetalSucks-sponsored Paganfest USA tour kicks off tomorrow in Toronto and runs through May 18th all over the U.S. and Canada! This is huge news for the following reasons:

1. You finally get to dust off that old viking helmet that’s been lying around since last year’s Paganfest.
2. You get to drink lots of beer, repeatedly pump your fist in the air and yell “hey!,” and generally act like an asshole at a concert without feeling bad about it.
3. You get to see this year’s lineup of ridiculously awesome pagan metal bands: Korpiklaani, Primordial, Moonsoorow, Blackguard and Swashbuckle.
4. Last year’s Paganfest was the most fun we had at a show all year; for serious!

We’ll be at the New York date on Monday, May 4th at Irving Plaza. Brownie points to anyone who dresses up in warpaint and loincloths. Bonus: after the jump, check out the chill-inducing Metal Injection-filmed live footage of Turisas performing “Rasputin” at last year’s Paganfest.

Click to read more…

We’re big fans of pagan metal here at the MS Mansion. BIG fans. Just last night Sammy O’Hagar waltzed in at about 5pm, still drunk and rowdy from the night before (!), dressed in a full get-up of warpaint and animal skins. Obviously there was no other choice at that point but to hand over control of the MS Mansion Mothership to the capable hands of the monkeys, so we put on Turisas’ The Varangian Way and started the party right back up again for the ol’ chap; the freight train kept rolling until at least 4am. Last thing I remember is Kip jumping on top of Axl’s desk and screaming something about “Battle!” and how we need to take vengeance against the other metal websites that constantly rip us off. As I type this, Sammy’s passed out in the bathtub clutching a bottle of Jim Beam while DBR and Satan Rosenbloom are snuggling in my bed; I had to sleep on the couch. Those fucking assholes.

Click to read more…

The second annual run of the MetalSucks-approved Paganfest USA tour — which one month ago announced it would include Primordial, Eluveitie, Moonsorrow and Blackguard (formerly Profugus Mortis) — has now announced the final lineup. Finnish folk-metallers Korpiklaani, whom to Kip W.’s dismay I once described as “Tetris metal,” will round out the bill along with New Jersey’s own Swashbuckle. If you can’t closely guess what a band called Swashbuckle might sound like, I suggest you get that eyepatch adjusted.

For more info check out the official Paganfest USA MySpace page. Dates are still TBA. Also check out the MySpace pages of Korpiklaani and Swashbuckle to dabble in the pagan/folk metal awesomeness.

-VN

I don’t know about you kids, but the inaugural run of Paganfest USA was the most fun I had at a show all year in 2008. Turisas, Ensiferum, Eluveitie and Tyr absolutely killed it, and the entire room was pumping their fists in the air to every song. And, oh yeah, we drank copious amounts of booze. My only regret: I didn’t wear a Viking costume.

Fortunately for me and my Viking gear, Paganfest USA will live on in 2009! Dates have yet to be announced, but the 2k9 incarnation will include Primordial, Eluveitie, Moonsorrow and Blackguard. See you there!

-VN