MetalSucks

Congrats to all five winners of last week’s funny photo caption contest. The first three winners listed below will all receive the Heavy Metal Killers vinyl and scarf courtesy of Earache Records, while the last two will receive just a scarf. The winners:

• Zel: “Stacy Wylde, sister to Zakk Wylde, practices the family tradition of putting one’s foot in one’s mouth.”
• Alkahest: “Former Attack Attack! singer’s new glam project seems to be coming along quite nicely.”
• James: “In a failed comeback bid, Marilyn Manson desperately tries to be shocking once again.”
• Jason Crispen: “the origin of swine flu”
• better than ezra: “Having arrived too late for the buffet, ziltoids mom was forced to eat her own foot.”

This week we’re giving away another 10-pack of assorted CDs from Prosthetic Records. Prosthetic has one of the most solid artist rosters in all of metal, so no matter what you get there are bound to be at least a few that you like (I promise it won’t be 10 copies of All That Remains). Come up with a funny caption to the below photo [sent in by "GoatRidersHorde"], and 10 CDs shall be yours.

All three winners to last week’s funny photo caption contest win a CD copy of The Fall of Troy’s In The Unlikely Event. Last week’s comments were actually quite funny for a change… it was hard to choose just three. The winning entries:

• kayn83: “evidently this black metal fan is not tr00 with the white frosting in all”
• Paul Quinn: “Cool. I always wanted a birthday cake with the Legion of Doom on it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT A RUSH!”
• skoal: “they don’t make power ranger cakes in Norway”

This week we’re giving away one 10-pack of assorted CDs from Prosthetic Records. Prosthetic has one of the most solid artist rosters in all of metal, so no matter what you get there are bound to be at least a few that you like (I promise it won’t be 10 copies of All That Remains). Come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and 10 CDs shall be yours.

If I were a betting man and I wagered on the chances of any given band signed to any metal label in 2009 actually being good, I’d definitely put my money down on Prosthetic or Sumerian Records. Both labels are completely killing right now. Where Sumerian certainly wins in “scene points” and innovation stylistically speaking, Prosthetic takes a decidedly more varied but no less awesome route; all bands on Prosthetic sound completely different from one another (hello Kylesa, Gojira, Animals as Leaders, Grief of War, etc etc etc ad infinitum) but they’re all superb. Furthermore, their bands have little if anything to do with what’s hot in today’s metal scene — they just are what they are, and they’re damn good at it.

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Shortly after their new-asshole-rippingly good set at the 2nd stage of day two at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival last month, I caught up with Unholy, the latest in the continuing stream of unbelievable bands to release records that have “Prosthetic Records” stamped onto them. Seeing them perform live just an hour or two prior was actually my introduction to the band aside from a brief pre-show MySpace listen, but it proved to be all the introduction I needed. Guitarist/band-mastermind Jonathan Dennison (right) and vocalist Billy Price (center) spoke about how their deal with Prosthetic came about, what it’s like to be a new band that doesn’t necessarily fit into a specific trendy “scene,” their musical influences, life on the road, and the misery of unavoidable day jobs. Our quick chat, after I say “jump.”

Jump.

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Can Prosthetic Records do any wrong? The record label that brought us top-notch records from Gojira, Byzantine and Beneath the Massacre in ‘08 is off to a fucking stellar start in ‘09, having already delivered with records from Scale the Summit, Animals as Leaders and Kylesa. It’s only May, but you can add another record to that hit list, Unholy’s New Life Behind Closed Eyes, which is currently streaming in its entirety over at Lambgoat.

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When we introduced you to Sikth, you thanked us. When we introduced you to Textures, you thanked us again.

So, when we say you absolutely need to hear something… you fucking need to hear it. And why not: it’s free!

LISTEN TO ANIMALS AS LEADERS!!!

The fine folks at the unfuckwithable metal label Prosthetic Records have hooked us up with a free track for you from the brand new Animals as Leaders album, out next Tuesday. This is intricate instru-metal of the highest caliber for the kind of metal fan who’s more concerned with musicianship, arrangement and composition than with “being fucking br00tal dudez!!” (though it certainly is heavy). It’s the brainchild of guitar wunkerkind Tosin Abasi, who is pretty much the Trent Reznor of this micro-genre of metal in that the band is basically just his project. Stream and download below. Enjoy.

Animals as Leaders – “Tempting Time”

-VN

Mostly this week I just watched the Puppy Cam. But when I could pry myself away for a few moments, this is what I focused on:

• Proto-jazz-metallers Intronaut released an artsy new video, as did Protest the Hero and Dir En Grey.
• We interviewed Brother Von Doom.
• Ozzy may be pretty good at shilling for Samsung phones these days, but we still like him better the old way.
• Arsis did some member-swapping. Yes, again.
• We reviewed new releases from The Faceless, The Bronx, and a bunch of awesome bands on Prosthetic Records.
• We contemplated the prospect of new releases by Carcass, Napalm Death and Down.

Party it up, it’s the weekend. See you next Tuesday Monday.

It’s should be no secret that this year has been jam packed with great extreme metal records, but what has really stood out for me in my recent listening is that for one reason or another the stars have aligned over the label Prosthetic Records. 2008 has seen their output of three new releases from recently signed, young bands. Besides having a label in common and touring together, all three of them have put out highly accomplished albums which we can only hope they’ll build a career on.

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