HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008 at 5:12pm by Gary Suarez
I’ve taken on the thankless assignment of the noise rock beat for Metalsucks and I couldn’t be happier to share my undying love for this savage and atonal subgenre with all you closeted Disturbed fans. From vile legends like Big Black and Helmet to beady-eyed upstarts Pissed Jeans and The Austerity Program, I’m your man; shabbily attired, inconveniently hirsute and altogether uncouth. (I briefly considered taking on a Hebraic pseudonym, as is customary here, but opted against it despite my own Word Jumble of a heritage. For the record, it would have been Moishe Milquetoast.)
Let this first installment of Scraping Genius Off The Wheel (get the reference, win a freaking door prize) serve to remind you all that while the inglorious glory days of Amphetamine Reptile and Touch & Go lie behind us, we socially awkward and hideously acned admirers of this type of music still have plenty to get excited and inappropriately erect over.
