Looks like the only Ratturday that’s gonna be celebrated any time soon is in my own living room; a monkey from the Axl Annex arrived at the Vince Division of the MS Mansion early this morning ooo-ooo-ing like a crazed chimpanzee, then proceeded to my computer and pointed my browser to Metal Sludge, where I read this:

A recent rumor has popped up about Robbie Crane no longer being in the band. We reached out to Robbie and asked point blank. His reply is below.
Sludge,

“As far as I’m concerned there is no Ratt to be “fired” from as Ratt is on an indefinite hiatus as we’ve finished the Infestation tour in Japan last week… Warren has dates with his and Dee Schnider’s Christmas band, Stephen has 4 to 6 months of solo dates, Carlos is working with Rudy and Vinny on an awesome new project and I’m touring with Lynch Mob over the next couple of months… Thanks for the concern…

Sludge out with your cock out! Robbie”

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The reason all the hair-metal autobiographies have been disappointing is because the best hair metal band, Motley Crue, did it first, and did a really killer job (treating it like an oral history told from lots of different  perspectives = master stroke), and so there was really no place to go but down. Bret Michaels’ autobiography never actually materialized, Slash’s was good but not great, Steven Adler’s sucked, I only know one person who read Bobby Blotzer’s,  and now all the Motley Crue guys are dipping back into that pool for a second or even third time, only without each other because after thirty fucking years they still haven’t figured out that the unit is stronger than each individual. At this point I think it would take everyone who ever worked on Chinese Democracy, including Axl Rose, all banding together to make a The Dirt-style Roshomon piece if anything is even gonna BEGIN to compete with The Crue’s initial tome.

Now glam’s ugly twin, thrash, has started to catch on that there’s an interest in these books. And they don’t seem to be following the same pattern as cock rock. Sure, Dave Mustaine went first, but no one seems to really believe a word of his book, and it’s certainly not a definitive snap-shot of the time and place the way The Dirt is for the Strip in the 80′s. And I obviously have a lot of faith in Phil Anselmo’s upcoming collaboration with MetalSucks’ own Corey Mitchell, but Pantera weren’t purely thrash, and weren’t around for the Big Four’s heyday.

So. Now Noise Creep says that Kirk Hammett is doing his autobiography. (The news actually originated in an interview with Ultimate-Guitar, but I can’t find it. If anybody does, drop me a line.) There’s no word on which lucky writer will score that coveted “with” credit, but here’s a choice quote from Kirk:

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Since it’s hair metal week here at MetalSucks, it seemed only appropriate to consider a glamtastic question. So we asked our writers:

WHICH HAIR METAL BAND FROM THE ’80s BEST STANDS THE TEST OF TIME IN 2010?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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We now rejoin Allyson B. Crawford (Bring Back Glam!) and Anso DF (MetalSucks) and their riveting analysis of Glam Metal’s Ten Best Must-Have Records.

Get caught up on yesterday’s action here.

***

7. TRASH - Alice Cooper

July 25, 1989 // Epic Records // p: Desmond Child

The hits: “Poison” “Bed of Nails” “House of Fire” “Only My Heart Talkin’”

The heart: “Hell Is Living Without You” “Spark In The Dark” “I’m Your Gun”

Anso: So by 1989′s Trash, Coop had been in a booze stupor for like seven straight albums. The good news was that his successful comeback tour inspired some check-writing at Epic Records. But that support came with strict control, or at least that’s what the presence of Bon Jovi/Kiss/Aerosmith/Ratt hit-maker Desmond Child implies. So Allyson, what’s your stance on Desmond Child?

Allyson: I got to interview Alice Cooper once. One of the highlights of my life, I swear. The man rules. He was all about sobriety when we spoke and I think that’s awesome. Now, Desmond Child. Oh my. I’ve written about him before on Bring Back Glam!. I suppose he is — no, he is a genius, but damn. Aerosmith is my favorite band of all time and Child sort of took away their grit. So that hurt. But for some people he really, really helped and that’s Alice Cooper. Alice needed a hit for a new generation and Trash came along at the right time, didn’t it? Oh and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to meet and interview Desmond Child, so there you go.

Anso: Hey, same here! His stuff is mega-cheesy, but so are delicious Cheetos. Plus, Detonator rules, so it’s easy to forgive misfires like “I Was Made For Lovin’ You.” Oh and of course I warmed to him after VH1 aired that hilarious footage of his collaboration with (and antagonism of) Vince Neil. You saw that right? “Hello-o! Successs!”

Allyson: Yeah, I’ve seen that. Oh, I’ve seen it.

Anso: Okay, Trash was buffed up by a full whack of celebrity guests: Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi, Kip Winger, Guy Mann-Dude, Steve Lukather, and 80% of Aerosmith. I suppose they helped pull chicks and young people to this old man record. Did these guys make Trash more attractive to you in any way?

Allyson: Because I’m a chick? Well, here’s the thing about me. I’ll agree there are some hot guys in rock, but that doesn’t mean much to me when it comes to music I like. If the song rocks, awesome. If not, okay. I like tons of music that is mocked — often right here on MetalSucks, ha! — and I always “go my own way if you will.” Trash is awesome to me because I love the songs. “Only My Heart Talkin’” is a great love song, a completely different type of power ballad. But, back to guests. I usually don’t care about guest stars on albums. I buy records because I want to hear the real band — not a slew of guests, you know?

Anso: Yeah. I’m not an Alice Cooper scholar, but I’ll wager that Trash is his sexiest record. It’s a bit uncomfortable to hear a 41-year old Coop describe passionate banging.

Allyson: As you know, my dear Anso, sexy is in the eyes of the beholder.

Anso: Hey, let’s talk about Trash‘s super-hit, “Poison.” Can you think of any single in history with such a memorably quirky riff? It’s awesome on its own and I love how they set it against different chords in the intro.

Allyson: So I’ve talked to Alice guitarist Keri Kelli a few times. Once I said I was frustrated trying to learn bass and guitar parts for some Alice songs. And Keri said something like, “Look, if you want to learn ‘Poison’ it’s just going to take awhile.” This frustrated me because I have little patience. I think I got off the phone with Keri, looked at the guitar and then sat down with a bag of chips or something. Anyway, yes, “Poison” is freaking epic. One of the best songs of the ’80s. Then again, Alice is a master. I love when the band performs “Poison” live. The crowd always goes batshit crazy.

Anso: What else makes you love this record?

Allyson: Hmm. It’s the sum of its parts I guess. I think all the songs fit well together, there’s not really a dud and the album helped push Alice to the top again. The cover photo is iconic. It was in magazines first and then Alice chose it as his cover — so I remember seeing the image of Alice everywhere as a kid. I had this instant connection to the record I suppose.

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You didn’t seriously think I’d let Hair Metal Week pass by without once again plugging Ratt’s tremendous comeback album Infestation, did you?

It’s really that good. Promise! Where so many hair bands — or, shit, bands of any era whose time in the sun has come and gone — try to recreate the past and end up instead with a dull approximation, Ratt have completely and 100% captured the sound that made them so great in the first place. The combination of Warren DeMartini’s endless supply of tasty riffs mixed with ex-Quiet Riot axe slinger Carlos Cavazo’s own songwriting abilities and delicious solos — channeled through the so-good-it-hurts production of Michael “Elvis” Baskette — makes for a winning formula that still has Infestation in constant rotation these many months after its release.

It’s a fantastic album you need to hear if you are or ever were a fan of even just one Ratt song. Stream the entire album here (in the widget farther down the page). Trust me on this one.

-VN

PS: Check out the interview Carlos Ramirez did for us with Ratt drummer Bobby Blotzer (he talks lots of smack!) and another interview Zena Metal did for us with Stephen Pearcy in which he seems tickled with the idea of Ratturday.

Can you imagine if everyone to whom we give endless amounts of shit followed Dino’s example? We’d have Rose Funoral cards and Tommy Lee faking his own death and Fred Durst pulling a Billy Madison and pics of Joey Belladonna with his twig and berries tucked back. That’s the kinda world I wanna live in. I believe we can make it happen if we try.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit we did this week:

• We did a second installment of Cooking Contaminated.
• We’re streaming new tracks by Son of Aurelius.
• Eyal gave us a Daath studio update.
• We spoke to Max Cavalera and Ratt’s Bobby Blotzer.
• We suckered Decibel‘s Andrew Bonazelli into writing about the Metal Mets for us.
• We checked out some new German cheese metal releases.
• We called out David Draiman.
• We watched some great music videos, some awful music videos, and some really awful music videos.
• We made fun of the most annoying little kid in the world.
• We were sorry about Abacabb breaking up, but really happy about BOOBS!!!

Speaking of Eyal and studio updates: on Sunday I’m flying down to Atlanta to visit Daath in the studio. If you never hear from me again, assume I’ve been lost amidst a cloud of ATL purp smoke and awesome metal. But what a way to go!!!

-AR

Bobby Blotzer’s life reads like something out of the mind of a Hollywood screenwriter. Raised in a blue collar neighborhood in Pittsburgh, PA, he achieved fame and fortune playing drums for Ratt in the mid-‘80s, only to find himself, and the kind of hard rock his band played, out of fashion throughout the ‘90s. During the time when boy bands and pop punk acts like Blink 182 and The Offspring ruled the Billboard charts, Blotzer figured out new ways to keep busy and make money. One of the things he did was start a small steam cleaning carpet business. Here was a guy who had headlined Madison Square Garden driving a van around Los Angeles and hustling Scotch Guard to housewives who might have had Out of the Cellar in their music collection. The music business can be cruel.

Despite the career turn of events, Blotzer pushed forward, and the musical climate finally was ready for Ratt’s brand of Sunset Strip kissed rock-n-roll. The band signed to Roadrunner Records in 2009 and recently released Infestation, one of the finest hard rock albums of the last few years – period. Even though Blotzer was busy writing and recording the record, he still found time to finish Tales of a Ratt, his newly released autobiography.

Anyone familiar with the drummer already knows that he’s never been one to hold back his feelings. If you’re looking for inside stories about Ratt and the golden age of the Sunset Strip, the book will not disappoint you. There is plenty of shit talking too. Don Dokken, Nikki Sixx, and Kevin DuBrow (the late lead singer of Quiet Riot) are among some of Blotzer’s targets. There are some grammar issues and spelling mistakes throughout the book, but that’s beside the point. The way I like to explain Tales of a Ratt to people is this: imagine sitting next to Bobby at the bar at The Rainbow, and he’s telling you stories without any kind of filter.

Metal Sucks spoke with Bobby a few days after he was arrested for DUI, though he didn’t mention it during the interview. As you’ll read below Blotzer seems a bit uneasy about the current state of Ratt. He complains about vocalist Stephen Pearcy and lead guitarist Warren DeMartini and their stubbornness. A few days after our interview, Ratt cancelled their European tour, saying that Pearcy needed to undergo hernia surgery. Hopefully Ratt can get everything worked out and get back out on the road, because Infestation is worth the hassle. Check out the interview below and make sure you also pick up Tales of a Ratt directly from Blotzer’s official website today.

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Well, then you could be like these guys:

… or you could be like these guys:

Or you could be like Deciblog scribe Chris Dick and pretend like the new Ratt album ain’t the shit. Your call!

-VN

There really aren’t any ’80s bands that are still making relevant music in 2010, and Ratt managed to do just that with Infestation… but I’ve waxed ecstatic about that album enough already. While other ’80s hair bands have been relegated to either the fair and festival circuit or nostalgia package tours, it’s fitting that Ratt commemorated their album release with a good old fashioned tour of sweaty clubs. And in Philadelphia on Saturday night — the ultimate Ratturday celebration — Ratt dazzled with a captivating performance that served to remind why this band is experiencing such an unlikely renaissance.

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April 20th was circled in my calendar well in advance, and not just because it’s holiday we at the MS Mansion take very seriously — April 20th marked the biggest release date of the year thus far for metal releases with new offerings from Periphery, Ratt, Sevendust, another greatest hits repacking from AC/DC, Circa Survive, Airbourne and more. Let’s see how those releases fared in their first week out, as well as how other metal and hard rock records are performing after the jump.

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Since Ratt’s awesome Infestation release party took place at The Key Club on Sunset Strip, the birthplace of hair rock, one could conclude that nostalgia was inevitable. And probably intentional. Even knowing that, it still was easy to get choked up at the sight of Ratt guitar stud Warren DeMartini partnering on a harmony solo with a tall, blond guy. That hasn’t happened since cordless phones were invented and late guitarist Robbin Crosby hadn’t yet been ravaged by hard drugs.

And even though Ratt’s setlist relied on early singles, the event was firmly rooted in the present (contrary to my pathetic wishes). For one thing, there were a ton of 4/20 revelers, and the hot rock chicks present eschewed the timeless appeal of a loose florescent tank top for complicated tattoos and blinding douchewear. But honors for loudest outfit go to the singer, as it should be, as Stephen Pearcy was rocking leather pants that I guess become jeans at the knees.

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I just wanna throw my two cents in…

True story: when I was a kid, I thought the lyrics to “Black No. 1″ were “You can’t go out ’cause your boobs are showing.” I was confused about what the song’s title meant, but otherwise, the words made perfect sense to me. Oh, misheard lyrics. You never cease to amuse.

Even if you weren’t a Type O Negative fan or a Carnivore fan, you have to admit that Peter Steele had one of the most distinctive voices in the history of metal. You never heard the guy and thought, “Gee, who is that?” And because my mother used to work with Josh Silver’s (now sadly also departed) dad, Type O Negative always felt, somehow, more tangible to me; Steele was iconic and often seemed larger than life, but I knew he wasn’t superhuman.That he passed away so young was a very unfortunate reminder that he wasn’t The Man of Steele. But he made his mark and left something to appreciated behind, and in the end, that’s all any of us can really ask for.

Here are some happier things that happened in the world of metal this week:

• We unveiled the line-up for Summer Slaughter 2010.
• We debuted a new video by Jungle Rot.
• We spoke to Kerry King and Dave Lombardo from Slayer, Chino Moreno from Deftones, and Stephen Pearcy from Ratt.
• Cynic’s Paul Masvidal contemplated depression, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa contemplated L O S T, and The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley contemplated the perfect Taco Riff.
• We checked out new releases by Levi/Werstler, Wormrot, and Bison B.C. and Sweet Apple.
• Ever dreamed of singing with Nevermore? We’re running pretty much the coolest contest in the history of ever.

Next week brings at least one and possibly two big surprises, plus, knock on a wood, the debut of a new column by a writer you will hate. See ya then.

-AR

Last week’s funny photo caption contest may’ve been a bit misleading. Turns out that our winner doesn’t actually win the Jesse James Dupree-signed chainsaw outright, but gets entered into a lotto (with winners from other sites) to win it. Still, not a bad deal for the cost of the 10 seconds it took you to think of and enter a comment. Here’s our selection:

• Loni: “Slayground.”

This week we’re giving away two prize packs, each featuring a signed CD and signed poster of Ratt’s deliciously tasty new record Infestation. Oh, what’s that, you haven’t listened to the best new hair metal album in a generation yet? Better do that right now while you still can for free before it comes out on 4/20. This prize is so cool I kinda wanna just select a bogus winner and keep one for myself… but I won’t. Just come up with a tummy-tickling caption to the below photo, and remember to use a real email address or include it in your comment if you’re logged in with Facebook.

Full disclosure: I’m a giant fucking Ratt nerd. In fact, it’s fair to say that if it weren’t for hearing their seminal hit “Round and Round” for the first time as a preteen, I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be a giant fucking metal nerd.

Something about Stephen Pearcy’s acidic voice and Warren DeMartini’s wailing guitar riffs compelled me to keep chasing the louder, faster, heavier dragon for all these years. But you never forget that first time, do you?

So when Vince offered me a chance to talk to Pearcy — who rejoined the band last year after a seven-year hiatus — about Ratt’s new album Infestation, I jumped at the chance. That excitement increased exponentially when I actually heard the record—a true throwback to melodic, ballsy hard rock with plenty of attitude and sexual innuendo.

Check out Infestation when it’s released on April 20 through Roadrunner Records. And be sure to worship every Ratturday.

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Some of the brutalest, trvest, kvltest metal dudes that I know are all in agreement: the new Ratt record is the fucking shit. I always get a bit of an odd look when I tell someone “You gotta check out the new Ratt record!” after being asked what new music I’ve been digging lately, but every single time I get an email or text a couple of days later saying, “Holy shit dude, you were right. This rocks!” And this is true all across the board, from dudes in brutal metal bands to casual fans who only know a couple of Ratt’s biggest hits. Because let’s face it, we all grew up on this shit and it’s in our blood. No one came out of the womb loving “true” black metal that was made by a one-man band in a cabin somewhere in the remote reaches of Norway and is only known about by you and your best buddy. It’s ok… let it go… it’s ok to enjoy this music! Your cred will not be damaged. Just the opposite, in fact; you’ll be the coolest and happiest motherfucker on your block.

I’ve extolled the virtues of Infestation plenty in this space, so this is my last ditch effort before April 20th’s official album release. Roadrunner Records is giving away the album’s opening track “Eat Me Up Alive” for free right here. The song is a helluva way to kick off a killer album and a helluva introduction to said album if you’ve been hesitant up until this point. If you don’t like it, I’ll give you your money back… promise.

-VN

You may not have been following the Jesse James-Sandra Bullock saga, so lemme tell ya, it’s like the Tiger Woods cheating scandal on meth. Not to slight Woods, but his Ambien sex with porn chicks/hot sluts thing seems quaint next to James’ carnival of grotesquerie, which allegedly includes sex with a wackjob who dabbles in Nazism and occasional dudebanging. I mean dang! That’s like a David Lynch thriller (lots of terrifying sex) to Tiger’s season premiere of Entourage (lots of douche sex). Plus, James’ wife Sandra Bullock is at the high point of her career after finally not being annoying as fuck in a movie and getting an Oscar for it; what a perfectly timed buzzkill. He probably should sugar her gas tank while he’s at it. Actually, I better shadow Bullock for a few weeks in case she gets horny for crazy revenge sex um drops her purse uh needs friendship and support in this tough time.

If this wild serial cheating/pseudo-sex addiction pattern holds, the next scandal is gonna be nutso. I wonder who’s next. Is it gonna turn out that Johnny Depp likes to put on a Smurf costume and rape mailboxes? Will we wake up one day to the internet splashed with explicit photos of Ronnie James Dio with Rhea Perlman? Are the members of Faith No More going to publicize that I’m responsible for the outbreak of shoe-fuckings that plagued their European tour? Is Ratt spelled with two Ts because those guys are likely to fuck your girl’s TTs, or if I may, her titties? What else is happening right under our noses?

One thing that’s no secret is that the new Ratt record is awesome. That last sentence is sub-Leno, sorry, but Infestation‘s awesomeness is a fact nonetheless: I just said so and MS mega-stud Vince Neilstein concurs again and again. And again. And one more time here. Oh and in the following text messages:

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So Rocklahoma, the once cock-rockalicious festival, may be a wash this year, but it seems that there’s already a new fest to grab ahold of the Aquanet and let us relive our youth gone wile: Rock N America, which take place from July 23 to July 25 in – get this – Oklahoma. Huh.

The line-up basically plays like a who’s who of who shoulda been playing Rocklahoma this year: Scorpions, Twisted Sister, Ratt, Warrant, Dokken, Great White, Enuff Z’Nuff, Bullet Boys, Faster Pussycat, and the Tracii Guns/Jizzy Pearl version of L.A. Guns are all the bill. More bands will be announced soon; in my imagination that will include whatever is passing for Skid Row these days, Vince Neil, Adler’s Appetite, Beautiful Creatures and/or Bang Tango, and the other version of L.A. Guns. But who knows.

It is worth noting that the fest will take place at the Zoo Amphitheatre, which a) has a smaller capacity than the giant open fields of Rocklahoma and b) isn’t just a cool name from some venue, but, rather, is called the “Zoo Amphitheatre” because it’s actually at the fucking zoo. So unless it’s always been Chip Z’Nuff’s dream to play for a crowd of zebras, this isn’t going to be quite the event that Rocklahoma was for these bands.

Still, you should visit the Rock N America website, even if you’re not really interested in attending the show, because, well, it’s like the shittiest website of 1994 and is consequently pretty hilarious.

-AR

[via Bring Back Glam]

These Queensryche “Cabaret” live shows sure do sound interesting but I’m not about to fly out west just to see Geoff Tate prancing around in a leotard. Maybe MS Super Stud Anso DF wants to go to the Palm Springs or San Diego date? Regardless, I can’t be bothered — Queensryche haven’t released anything good in many a year (I’d argue that 2003′s Tribe was a half-decent entry) and in the meantime we’ve got a ridiculously great new Ratt album to jam. It’s seriously all I want to listen to right now. I can’t help it — it’s so good!

One thing I keep forgetting while pumping my fist in the air to “Eat Me Up Alive” or the stupidly catchy “Lost Weekend” or “As Good As It Gets” is that Carlos Cavazo is in this band now. Allow me to repeat: Carlos Cavazo is now in Ratt. As if having Tasty Riff McTasterson himself, Warren DeMartini, weren’t enough, the Ratt pack now has two lead guitarists amongst its ranks. The results are an ’80s guitar nerd’s wet dream, and not in a “Steve Vai and Joe Satriani shredding on the same record over top of each other constantly!” kind of way… just tasty riff after tasty riff, juicy lick after finger-smacking, delicious, savory lick. Lately I’ve been playing the “Who’s playing this guitar solo?” game. It’s fun because DeMartini and Cavazo’s styles are similar enough (same tree, different branches) so that you can’t immediately tell who’s playing, but if you’re familiar with each axeman’s discography you can definitely zone in on certain stylistic subtleties and differences in the way the two string notes together.

Here’s a stream of Infestation album-opener “Eat Me Up Alive” which Axl posted a couple of weeks back but I’d like to post again because a) it rules, b) I’m fairly certain both DeMartini and Cavazo take solos in this song. (You may need to click the slider after hitting play to get it to work.). The whole album is this good… really, I swear. Infestation comes out officially on April 20th.

-VN

Ratt’s new album has gotten more than just the best of me; Axl agrees that Infestation is undeniable, and as for Anso DF, that dude came out of the womb with a premonition that in 2010 Ratt would release a fantastic comeback album. He’s been telling me this ever since he started writing for this here web rag!

The band just released a music video for the album’s lead single “Best of Me,” which our bro-bby Blotzers over at Noisecreep have premiered. Like Infestation as a whole, the video does a great job of bridging the old and the new. The concept is ’80s in feel, with two yunguns transported to a dream-like world of rock n’ roll, women and hard partying. Though the concept is an old one, like the songs on the album the execution and production techniques don’t make it feel dated. Says Bring Back Glam scribe Allyson B. Crawford:

The video also points to a bigger issue here: younger kids on the outside looking in, trying to be a part of the Ratt pack, and the overarching idea that infectious hooks can permeate all aspects of daily life.

Indeed… if you were too young to experience Ratt the first time now might be a good time to check ‘em out. Get into Infestation and go backwards from there.

-VN

It’s a little known fact that MetalSucks co-jefe Vince Neilstein (pictured here with partner Axl Rosenberg) is a power-mad tyrant who controls the MS writer corps with manipulation and implicit threats of violence. Yeah, he seems like a cool guy, really, but would you believe that he can intercept my brainwaves via mobile phone? Or that I’m certain he is responsible for the invisible helicopter that’s been following me since St. Patty’s? Oh, you think I’m crazy? And paranoid? So, okay, I see you’d have me believe it’s just coincidence that my favorite toothpaste went on sale the day after I bought a tube. Wake the fuck up, dude. It’s all Neilstein. He’s everywhere and nowhere, an evil puppet master always wanting more, more, MORE from the once-mighty writers whom he has enslaved. Cross him and pay the price.

Well, mind control must be draining Neilstein’s lifeforce lately because the usual neighborhood dogs haven’t accosted me and barked his commands since last month, when an unleashed great dane warned me to “rop riting arout rAerosmith ror relse.” No, now he’s keeping it simple, all casually mentioning The Apex Theory in MetalSucks last week as though he had no knowledge of my secret, shameful plans to revive print discussion of that very band on this very site. Sure, an unsuspecting reader will see his Apex piece as an innocent bit of pithy writing, oblivious to the coded messages within that order us MS underlings to forgo rest and hygiene to write endlessly about stuff like the impact of Steve Vai-era Whitesnake and The Top 10 Worst Metal Bands Whose Cumulative Age is 95. How can you all be so blind?

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