Let’s rant about the Revolver’s Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock list some more. God knows they deserve the attention.

The biggest issue at hand seems to be whether or not it’s sexist. It is. As a female and as a metal fan, I do, in fact, find it sexist. Look at the name. Referring to women as “chicks” on a nationally recognized and widely read magazine is sexist. It demeans women. I might be overreacting, I might be overly politically correct, but if you’re going to insist that it’s a celebration of talent, then why is it portraying women as objects right off the bat? I do give you points on being honest, though, Revolver. You could’ve gone with full denial and named it “The Most Talented Chicks in Hard Rock.”

My biggest problem with this issue is that it really has nothing to do with the music. Yes, the women who pose do it by choice, and hope that after all the gawking some reader might actually listen to their music, but ultimately, those readers probably won’t. Why? Because the magazine features bands and musicians who already have a fan base and a clear, set audience. People who know them will still buy their records, but I highly doubt some guy will be like, “Hey, that Amy Lee is quite the looker. I should probably check out her stuff.”

Click to read more…

Yes, we know we didn’t get to make our big announcement this week. Don’t worry — we’re just ironing out a few final details. It’s still happening. And we’re confident we’ll get to tell you next week.

In the meantime, here’s how we occupied ourselves these past five days:

• We debuted new music by Ghost Brigade.
• We spoke to Chris Reifert from Autopsy and producer Jay Ruston.
• We checked out the latest releases from Harm’s Way and Skin Like Iron.
• Vince went several rounds with Century Media over their decision to drop out of Spotify.
• We made fun of Dream Theater’s use of clip art on their new album cover.
• Sammy O’Hagar, Satan Rosenbloom, and Grim Kim counted down their favorite releases of the year thus far.
• Sergeant D. searched for the best neo-nu-metal band.
• We asked what you think of Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.
• We continued to celebrate 31 Days of Faith No More.
• ‘Merica.

-AR

The Revolver Golden Gods Awards will air on VH1 later this month (or something… I know we got a press release but I was too lazy to read it), and it will be interesting to see that, because I was there, but I didn’t actually see very much of the show. I saw the schmuck from Asking Alexandria drop his mic two seconds into “Youth Gone Wild,” and I saw some of Avenged Sevenfold’s performances with Duff McKagan and Vinnie Paul, and I saw enough of Chris Jericho performing “For Whom the Bell Tolls” to consider throwing myself over the balcony and ending the awards in spectacular fashion (sometimes, sacrifices must be made for the greater good). But by and large I was too busy snorting coke in the bathroom with a girl who fucking swore to me that it wasn’t a herpes sore that lying bitch! to be bothered.

So one thing I had absolutely no idea even transpired was the below montage paying tribute to the five guys who died in the past year that are relevant to the readers of Revolver, which is to say, not Phil Vane or Frankie Sparcello.

But I shouldn’t be a jerk about it, it’s really a very touching video.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

So Revolver is getting ready to unveil their annual “The Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue, only I guess it’s “The Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock” now, ’cause, uh, use your imagination. But this year’s cover girl isn’t Cristina Scabbia or Maria Brink or Marta or Grace Perry or whomever is playing keyboards for Winds of Plague this week or one of those chicks from Eyes Set to Kill or any of the other obvious choices.

Nope, it’s Taylor Momsen, seventeen year old lead vocalist for The Pretty Reckless. She’s also been in some movies, like, uh, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Spy Kids 2. Here’s the cover photo, without all the writing n’ stuff on it, courtesy this porny celebrity gossip site:

I’d never heard The Pretty Reckless before, so I decided to check out some of their music in order to figure out if I needed to feel guilty about this just because it meant I was getting turned on by a teenage girl dressed like a prostitute in the window of Amersterdam’s Red Light District, or because her music sucks, too.

And it turns out her music sucks, too.

Click to read more…

Congrats to kickoutthejamsman and The Overmatt, winners of the super awesome White Wizzard jeanjacket prize pack! The winning entries:

• kickoutthejamsman: “And the party for MetalSucks bloggers went pretty much as expected.”
• The Overmatt: “The Cazares family reunion always features the annual jam session.”

This week we’re giving away three copies of Revolver Magazine’s latest Tattoo Issue which features stories on the inked skin of Slayer, Ozzy, Henry Rollins, Slipknot, Guns N’ Roses and more in addition to Revolver’s usual music coverage. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo [sent in by Voltron Futura]. Make sure to include your email address in the email field, or write it into the comment if you’re using Facebook Connect to access our site.

There’s a NSFW image after the jump. You’ve been warned.

Angela Gossow in the 2006 edition of Revolver’s “Hottest Chicks in Metal”

I love masturbating as much as the next guy who spends most of his day at the computer, but there’s no getting around the fact that Revolver’s annual “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue – and now, apparently, accompanying calendar – is completely ridiculous. It has nothing to do with music, and there’s no equivalent issue for “Hottest Dudes in Metal,” because, well, metal is mostly a sausage fest and I imagine that a “Hottest Dudes” issue wouldn’t sell very well.

Now Arch Enemy’s Angela Gossow – who has been featured in past “Hottest Chicks” issues – has spoken out against the concept… as if you needed another reason to love her. From a recent interview with KNAC:

Click to read more…

In case you missed the memo, Revolver Magazine has switched things up a little bit. They’re now publishing only 6 issue per year instead of 12, but each issue is thicker, better, and comes with extra goodies. The very first issue in the new format has a lengthy look back on Pantera’s classic Vulgar Display of Power, including interviews with all the living band members and others close to the inner circle of the band members. It also comes with a nifty swag package that includes a mock ticket, flyer and tour laminate.

Naturally I’m mentioning this for a reason… we’ve got three copies to give away this week! But first let’s announce the winner from our last funny photo caption contest of 2009, in which one lucky chap wins everything that Ferret Records released all year:

• Pete: “Even in his youth, Matt Pike refused to wear a shirt to any event, including Christmas Dinner.”

Well played, sir! About those Revolver Pantera issue copies… just come up with a zinger to the below photo and they shall be yours. Remember to use a real email address instead of Facebook Connect so we can contact the winners (you may have to log out of Facebook).

Congrats to “wiffle bat” and “soup”, the two proud owners of the brand new Revocation CD Existence is Futile. Their winning captions for the photo at right submitted in last week’s funny photo caption contest:

• wiffle bat: “pardon me while i pass the brains of my bass player.”
• soup: “…one more push for the new Cradle of Filth album.”

This week we’ve got 5 copies of Revolver Magazine’s special all-Slayer edition, which hits newsstands this week: “This unmissable special issue takes you in-depth through the band’s hellacious history, including exclusive new interviews with every group member, an oral history going behind the scenes of their biggest albums and mammoth tours, a vintage Clash of the Titans roundtable interview… and a look inside the artwork of Slayer’s “unholy trinity”—Reign in Blood, South of Heaven, and Seasons in the Abyss—with illustrator Larry Carroll, and guitarist Kerry King reveals some of his favorite shit. On top of this, the issue contains never-before-seen photos and a selection of Slayer-inspired tattoos from their most diehard fans!”

Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, courtesy of Shelby Cobras of Illogical Contraption.

So it turns out I completely misunderstood Revolver editor-in-cheif Tom Beaujour’s comments yesterday with regards to the conflict with Isis.

Tom was not responding to Aaron Turner’s complaints or the complaints of the blogosphere, but was, in fact, responding to questions posed to him directly by Metal Insider‘s Dan Rodriguez.

My apologies to all involved for the misunderstanding.

-AR

And the winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest is…

Jesse: “Axl Rose caught the first flight to Sydney once he heard about their snowy wonderland-like climate. He was a little disappointed to see that, contrary to popular belief, Australia hasn’t seen a flake of snow since the ice age. He was however very excited to discover that Sydney is the home of the world’s only palm reading kangaroo. The kangaroo was overheard saying “Months from now, a picture of us will appear on Metalsucks.net’s funny photo caption contest. It will be there that a bunch of people will make remarks about you trying to replace Slash, and it will never be funny.””

For his troubles, Jesse will receive a vinyl and CD copy of The Haunted’s latest opus, Versus. This week we’ve got a 2009 official Revolver Magazine t-shirt to give away. Take a look — these things are fuckin’ cool looking and ordinarily cost 20 bucks. Just come up with the funniest caption to the below photo, and one is yours in the size of your choice – you can surely outdo the lame caption already on the image.

Think Satan rests his horns in the holy land? Think again. Revolver Magazine Executive Editor Brandon Geist recently returned from a 2-week jaunt to Israel, and though he experienced a shooting (almost), a militant-started forest fire and an Israeli metal concert, he lived to the tell the tale. Read all about it on the Revolver Blog.

-VN

At the beginning of April, just as genre-bending metal masters The Red Chord were kicking off a tour with Converge, Genghis Tron, Baroness and Coliseum, we were given the opportunity to e-mail bassist Greg Weeks some questions. Of course, we jumped at the chance.

And then we never heard back.

At the time, we assumed that Greg had decided our questions were just too stupid to answer (and who could blame the dude?); in fact, there was another culprit at fault for Greg’s delayed response.

After the jump, find out why it took Greg so long to get back to us, and read his thoughts on such incredibly relevant political topics as why no producer will work with the band more than once, touring with Disturbed, and the current state of large beards in metal. For, surely, this interview proves our journalistic integrity.

Click to read more…

Last week we got a whole lot of racist but mostly un-funny entries for the Funny Photo Caption contest, in which we asked you guys to come up with a funny caption for the photo at right. I suppose we had it coming. Congratulations to the winner Dahnyull, who because of the following entry wins a limited edition colored vinyl of Protest the Hero’s Fortress:

“No matter how metal you think you are, there will always be someone there to remind everyone that you’re just some guy making a funny face.”

This week we have a very special prize; three lucky winners will receive a copy of Revolver Magazine‘s recently released all-Tool issue. Yup, an entire magazine devoted exclusively to the best band on the planet! All you have to do to win is come up with a funny caption for the below photo and post it in the comments. We’ll chose the winner next week and notify them by email. Good luck!

The “Anono-Critic” over at Idolator did a nice writeup about the history, life and times of metal-mag Revolver. It’s a pretty good look at a magazine we all read, and this kind of a meta-commentary is a welcome specialty of Idolator’s. And of course the all-important last sentence:

In a back-of book review of a pre-Christmas Ozzy Osbourne/Rob Zombie show at Madison Square Garden, contributing writer Kory Grow uses the Yiddish term “yenta” to describe some of the individuals waiting in line to see Cirque de Soleil in the adjoining theater. YB salutes the copyeditor who allowed said term to reach the eyes of a readership almost certain to be unacquainted with it.

How many MetalSucks readers know the meaning of “yenta” (no googling!)? We’re welling to bet the percentage is higher than that of Revolver’s readership!

-VN