Adrenaline Mob, the new band featuring ex-Dream Theater drummer Mike Portony, Symphony X vocalist Russell Allen, and Stuck Mojo/Fozzy guitarist Rich Ward, are now streaming their debut EP in full (below). And, as we have suspected since the project was announced in June, it’s lame.

I mean, I’m sure it will have its defenders, but I’d also wager that those defenders all have beer guts, and reside either in New Jersey or on Long Island. Because that’s how this music sounds; like it was made by a dude who was prom king back in ’86 and basically hasn’t been able to see his own penis since. It’s like one of these demos people send us where the band clearly had no higher aspiration than to be the next Black Label Society, and yet, they have failed miserably.

Feel free to check it out for yourself, though. I hope you have a super-awesome good time!

-AR

Last week the once-mighty, now-getting-to-be-pretty-sad Mike Portnoy announced the formation of a new band, Adrenaline Mob, with Symphony X singer Russell Allen, Stuck Mojo guitarist (and first ever MetalSucks interview subject) Rich Ward, and some dudes I’ve never heard of before. Our own Anso DF called the project “iffy,” cringing at Allen’s description of the band as “almost like Rob Zombie meets Black Label Society meets Disturbed, with Dio singing.” And Anso so eloquently put it, “When old guys aim for ‘edgy’ and ‘modern,’ it sets off alarm bells, right?”

Well, as it turns out, Anso had good reason to be concerned. The band released some samples of the music they’re working on, and, yeah, I officially don’t care, and eagerly await Vince returning so I never have to pretend to care about this group again.

I also think someone should sit down and play some Rob Zombie, Black Label Society, and Disturbed for Russell Allen. Not because those artists are great or anything, but because he has to running around and telling people that that’s what Adrenaline Mob sounds like. It’s basically the equivalent of me luring in potential readers by telling them that MetalSucks is a folk music blog. It just has no basis in reality whatsoever.

Here are the samples, so you can make up your mind:

P.S. That play on The Godfather logo was silly back when Lacuna Coil did it, but at least they’re Italian, so it kinda made sense. It seems like it’s just being used here because the band has the word “mob” in their moniker.

-AR

When I heard about the Dream Theater-shaped hole in the life of drummer Mike Portnoy back in September, I wanted to pitch him on my long-gestating idea to form a killer Jellyfish cover band. I bet he’d be into it cuz of his Jellyfish super-fandom (he has cited 1993′s Spilt Milk as a top ten favorite album); and he’s a pro at pulling together all-star jams, like his awesomely fun tributes to The Who, The Beatles, and Led Zeppelin with guys like Paul Gilbert, Jason McMaster, and Dave LaRue; and lastly, The Ghosts At Number One (that’s my vote for our band name) could serve as a totally non-cynical tribute to another hardcore Jellyfish fan, the late Dimebag Darrell Abbott. And what better way to hip headbangers to irresistible non-metal jams? How could Mike say no to that? Can I call him Mike?

But, shit, while I was dicking around, gobbling drugs, and failing to corner, pressure, and/or threaten Portnoy about the Jellyfish idea, he teamed with qualified musicians he knows who actually, like, realize their ideas. Even if those ideas aren’t so great. Symphony X singer Russell Allen talks about Adrenaline Mob, one of Portnoy’s new bands:

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The most interesting headline to come across my RSS reader this morning was this one from SMNnews.com: “Fozzy Song ‘Martyr No More’ Streaming.” Fozzy is still around? Fozzy of wrestler Chris Jericho fame? No shit.

A side project for Stuck Mojo guitarist Rich Ward at best and a musical outlet for Jericho at worst, apparently Fozzy have a new album coming out called Chasing the Grail. I’m not sure I’d ever listened to a Fozzy song before today, but you know what? “Martyr No More” ain’t bad at all for what it is. Rich Ward is a great songwriter and a surprisingly tasty guitar player, and though his sound hasn’t changed much, or really at all in 20 years, you have to give the guy credit for being several years ahead of the rap-metal curve (for better or worse). Take latter-day Stuck Mojo and remove some of the cringe-worthy rapping (not for nothin’ I’ve actually dug some of Mojo’s later material) and you’ve got Fozzy, which is actually kind of an upgrade. If you can just ignore all the auto-tune on Jericho’s voice, you’ve actually got a pretty decent song here. Certainly not gonna reinvent the wheel, but a good song.

-VN