MetalSucks

And on that note, I’m done for the day. See ya tomorrow.

-AR

Yeah, tomorrow is Halloween. And sure, you’re all excited to dress up as that dude from Watchmen or a slutty nurse/secretary/schoolgirl/turd and probably not thinking about Christmas just yet. Since it’s less than two months away, I can’t think of a more miserable way to honor/desecrate Jesus’ birthday than with some good ol’ fashioned holiday music performed by Judas Priest’s Rob Halford. That’s right: ROB HALFORD HAS A FUCKING CHRISTMAS ALBUM OUT. Here’s the single “Christmas Comes For Everyone”:

God, this is awful. If you’re a masochist, then go ahead and download the single for free at Halford’s website.

I’m buying this album for all of my MetalSucks colleagues for Hannukah, because I hate them.

-GS

[Gary Suarez is baking you a fruitcake. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

As Vince already mentioned, we spent Friday night at the annual San Gennaro festival in Little Italy. Prior to that, though, we had warm-up drinks at Arrow Bar, where our bro-bro Bram Teitelman from Metal Insider was spinnin’. The last song he played before we headed out for Little Italy was “Painkiller,” which, needless to say, got stuck in my head for the rest of the night, and part of the next morning. It wasn’t even the whole song – it was just the chorus. It was like Halford was trying to drill his way out of my brain. Every time there was a lull in the conversation, I found myself almost involuntarily adopting that eunuch voice, screeching the chorus aloud. I’m sure I annoyed the ever-lovin’ shit outta everyone around me.

But there are way worse songs to have stuck in your head.

-AR

I imagine that when the members of, say, Daath get together for rehearsal, no one expects to be paid for said rehearsal. They’re all dudes who are friends – some of them even grew up together, if I’m not mistaken – and it’s not like they’re making squillions of dollars playing metal. Rehearsal, then, has to be viewed as an investment – get better as a band, put on a good show for the crowd, and, knock on wood, your band will get bigger and the money will come.

I also imagine it’s different being in someone’s solo band. If your boss is Ozzy Osbourne or Axl Rose or Dave Mustaine or Trent Reznor, there’s going to be a lot of money involved, and your creative input is going to be somewhat limited (I imagine). I know for a fact that the members of nu-GN’R are paid an annual retainer, just in case they’re needed; I assume members of certain other solo bands are given a similar (if perhaps less lucrative) deal. And actors definitely get paid to rehearse; granted, the rehearsal rate is less than the performance rate, but the unions insist that if you want an actor there for rehearsals, he or she must be compensated.

Now. Sebastian Bach’s record sales obviously are not what they used to be. But the guy still opens for arena bands, routinely plays large festivals, and, by his own admission, gets paid very large sums of money to appear on crappy reality shows. Doing something like, say, paying for his band’s member’s gas so they can get to rehearsal seems reasonable, especially when you’re talking about dudes like Metal Mike Chlasciak, who, even if he’s not exactly Zakk Wylde, has played with dudes like Halford, and is definitely a “known entity.”

Well, Baz disagrees. He’s looking for a new guitarist and a new bassist, and, more specifically, he’s looking for someone to do it for bubcus. Check out this statement from the Old Dude Gone Wild:

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Steve Stamopoulos sent us this video of Rob Halford performing the Judas Priest classic “Delivering the Goods” with Skid Row on MTV. I remember watching this when it first aired, on whatever MTV’s equivalent of TRL was back in the day. The show was hosted by future ex-The Panic Channel vocalist, Steve Isaacs, who was maybe the last (only) cool VJ in the channel’s history.

There’s a studio version of this on the Skids’ most forgettable covers EP, B-Side Ourselves. It’s fun to watch this video, though, ’cause a) the song rocks and b) Halford is dressed like trailer trash.

-AR

Swine flu got you down? Don’t get too scared, it was always part of the plan. Here’s a headline you should be much more concerned about: “ROB HALFORD UNVEILS NEW LINE OF SUPER CRAPPY T-SHIRTS“. WTF?? As if that isn’t horrifying enough in and of itself, the shirts look like they were designed by people with down syndrome that just couldn’t quite make the cut over at Affliction (as though Affliction Clothing isn’t bad enough). Jesus. If you want to get massively bummed out, head over to Halford’s new t-shirt line website, “Metal God Apparel” and grab yourself a sweet tee for a cool $54.99. Cheap!!

I see tons of douchebags trolling around Los Angeles in shitty shirts that look dangerously similar to these. It’s pretty sad. It’s a pandemic for sure. And there’s not really much we can do at this point. It seems even the Boston Red Sox have been struck with this “affliction” (pictured right). I hate all of you.

-MC

[Read more from Mike Conte at http://www.whiplashwhiplashwhiplash.com/]

Less than a year ago Judas Priest were threatening to pull an Iron Maiden and play their most recent, snooze-inducing album, Nostradamus, live in its entirety; either the band’s handlers told them that was really, really shitty idea, or the band just realized that they like making money, because now they’ve announced that they’ll “celebrate the 30th anniversary” of their classic release British Steel by playing it live from start to finish on their summer headlining tour.

Of course, no one seems to have told them that they’ll actually be celebrating the 29th anniversary of the release of British Steel, which came out in the Spring of 1980. But, hey, they’re old and my dad can’t remember what year it is either, so I sympathize.

ANYWAY, British Steel isn’t my favorite Priest record, but it’s obviously a damn fine one and Halford and company can still bring it live. So this should be a good time.

Here’s Priest performing “Living After Midnight” live in 1982. Announced tour dates thus far are after the jump; support will come from Whitesnake, which means I might actually be able to talk my woman into coming with. Rad.

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MetalSucks Maniac Matt Fields sent us the below clip this morning, bringing up all sorts of repressed demons I’d been trying to forget for years. I can’t say I’m at all surprised that Tommy Lee agreed to play with these douche chills – after all, Lee is an even bigger whore than Pamela Anderson – but I gotta ask: Why, Halford, why?!?!

-AR

Female-fronted Judas priest cover band? Sure, why the hell not.

I’m sure there are some really juicy Priest / Halford puns to be made here but I’m lazy / tired / drained to think of any right now. Have at it in the comments. Best one wins a kiss from Axl.

-VN

[Thanks: Rui]

Even now that Slayer are Grammy winners, I don’t think any metalhead really gives a flying fuck about the Grammys. But, what the fuck – here are this year’s nominees for “Best Metal Performance”:

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Thanks to those who entered our “Into the Pit” Fight contest; you guys have endured some seriously brutal and gruesome moshpit stories at the behest of 250 pound men (250 was always the number you gave, for whatever reason)! Three runners up receive the following prize package, and our grand prize winner gets all of the below + an autographed Hellbrawl poster:

* Into the Pit DVD
* autographed War of Words DVD
* Metal God Essentials Vol. 1 CD
* Fight War of Words Film T shirt

The winning entries, along with their battle-tested stories, are posted after the jump. Trust me, if you’ve ever been in a moshpit, you’ll really want to read these! I’ll give you a teaser – “Ass-to-Neck Whiplash.”

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The biggest metal tour of 2008 rolled through San Antonio at the Verizon Wireless this past Sunday with Testament, Motorhead, Heaven and Hell, and Judas Priest in tow. It was Heavy Metal Parking Lot come to life, only with several more “special” parking spaces for the decidedly older crowd.

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Got an awesome moshpit injury story?? Now’s your chance to profit from the excruciating pain you no doubt suffered at the hands of some giant fat dude throwing his weight around. In place of the Funny Photo Caption Contest this week (winners for last week’s will be announced soon, fret not), we’ve teamed up with Metal God Entertainment to offer you several incredible prize packages featuring the one, the only, the Metal God himself; Rob Halford, and his one-time band Fight.

Simply submit your injury story below — with a photo, if you happen to have one — and we’ll pick the winners next week!

The first 150 entries get a Fight sampler CD in the mail for free!

3 runner up winners will get:

• Into the Pit DVD
• autographed War of Words DVD
• Metal God Essentials Vol. 1 CD
• Fight War of Words Film T shirt

Grand prize winner will get all the above along with an autographed Hellbrawl poster.

Please note this contest is open to U.S. residents only. Simply submit your story by filling out the form after the jump.

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In 2004, the Painkiller-era Judas Priest line-up reunited and blew Black Sabbath off the stage at Ozzfest, so I supposed it’s only fair that in 2008, Sabbath should return the favor on the Metal Masters tour.

Of course, swapping out Ozzy Osbourne for Ronnie James Dio didn’t hurt.

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I will never forget the time Vince and I went to see Maiden and they played the entire A Matter of Life and Death album from front to back. Not in “I’ll never forget the first time I touched a girl’s titty” kinda way; more in a “I’ll never forget the time I went to Mexico, drank the water, and got Montezuma’s Revenge” kinda way. Literally the only good part of the entire night was when the band played “2 Minutes to Midnight” for the encore; for those six glorious minutes, we actually got our money’s worth.

So maybe Judas Priest had already announced plans to play their latest album, Nostradamus, from start to finish in a series of “special” shows, but I hadn’t heard of any such gigs until I saw this JAM! Music interview with Rob Halford posted on Blabbermouth:

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I hereby promise this will be the last of an unprecedented run of three posts about Yngwie Malmsteen within the past week; but unscrupulously ousted ex-Iced Earth singer Tim “Ripper” Owens has been tapped to front the band of the fur-coat-wearing, orchestra-conducting King of shred, Yngwie himself. After being ditched by Iced Earth late in 2007 in favor of original singer Matt Barlow at a point when the band seemed poised for a great comeback run, Owens was left down and out. Keep in mind this is the same dude who recorded and toured with his favorite metal band of all time, only to have his life bastardized and turned into a really shitty movie — AND be fired when that lead singer, some dude named Rob Halford, wanted to come back to his old band too. So needless to say, the dude deserved a break.

And he’s gotten it. While a gig with Yngwie may not be as cool as the Anthrax gig Axl suggested, it’s certainly something. No word yet on whether fur coats will become part of Owens’ repertoire.

-VN