MetalSucks

I really like the Rockstar Mayhem Festival – it’s like someone went to Ozzfest and figured out a way to make it way better. Having two side-by-side second stages was a stroke of genius; there’s no downtime in-between bands, because one act can set up while another plays. The mainstage has been solid, too, although there’s always one co-headliner that’s totally missable – in other words, Disturbed and Marilyn Manson played those slots. But so have Slayer, Mastodon, and a bunch of other great bands, so there’s that.

Well, our pals at Metal Insider are reporting a few rumors as to whom might be on this year’s fest, and it looks as though the skipable band this year may very well be Korn.

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This new song from the Greatest Horror Director of All Time is actually called “What?” As in, “What? Is that Al Jourgensen singing?”

But, no, seriously. Is that Al Jourgensen singing? ‘Cause if it ain’t, he should sue.

Rob’s new offering, Hellbilly Deluxe 2: Noble Jackals, Penny Dreadfuls, and the Longest Fucking Title Ever Given to an Album Not Recorded by Fiona Apple, comes out November 17.

-AR

Thanks to Jonathon Edwards for the tip!

Was Rob Zombie never cool and I was just an idiot? Or am I right that he’s only recently become kind of a let down? I honestly can’t tell.

Anyways, even if we ignore the cheesiness of the fact that Zombie is obviously trying to cash-in on past glories by making a sequel album (Has there ever been a good “Part 2″ record? First person to say Operation: Mindcrime II gets a kick in the anus.), this cover art clearly comes from the Marilyn Manson school of “Have an intern whip something up on Photoshop.” Which is not only lame, but kinda weird: Zombie went to the prestigious art school Cooper Union.

You can do better than this, Rob. C’mon. Be cool again.

-AR

I didn’t think it was possible that Rob Zombie’s Halloween X II could be any worse than Rob Zombie’s Halloween IX I*, and yet there I was, sitting in the theater, wishing that someone had slipped cyanide into my slushie. That someone could (allegedly) so revere John Carpenter’s original classic and yet (seemingly) have no understanding whatsoever of what made that movie so fucking great is a kind of a head-scratcher to me; I mean, Zombie’s Halloween movies are really just unwatchable drek. The nicest thing I can think to say about Zombie’s film is that it moves at twenty-four frames per second, giving the illusion of motion. That’s about it.

Now Zombie has set his sights remaking on another horror classic: The Blob.

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First, let’s just talk about how we arrived at this place we currently find ourselves:

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The last time I wrote about Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (which is actually Halloween X, but hey, who’s counting?), it was to discuss an interview where Mr. Zombie talked about the film’s soundtrack; subsequently, the MetalSucks Maniac known as “Joshie” said he was curious to know how The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” would be used in the film.

Well, here’s your answer, via a “leaked” trailer that wasn’t really leaked at all but, rather, released by Zombie himself.

This is a way better trailer than the ones we’ve seen before (and I imagine it wasn’t “officially” released because it doesn’t feature John Carpenter’s iconic and highly marketable theme music – which I’ve heard is absent from the film as well), but I’m still convinced the movie isn’t gonna be any good. I guess we’ll find out when it opens a week from today.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

Even though I loathed Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween and am 99% sure that Halloween II is going to suck just as bad, I did find this interview that the artist formerly known as Robert Bartleh Cummings* just did with Mr. Beaks at Ain’t It Cool News to be kind of interesting. Especially this part, where he talks about the use of music of his latest cinematic opus:

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When he’s not fucking up Halloween, I’ve actually enjoyed some of Rob Zombie’s cinematic work in the past – particularly The Devil’s Rejects. And these 34 seconds of his new, R-rated cartoon, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, look potentially promising – although knowing that Paul Giamatti (as “Dr. Satan” – aka the main villain from House of 1,000 Corpses), Rosario Dawson, Danny Trejo, and comedian/metalhead Brian Posehn all contributed voice work definitely helps.

Less helpful is knowing that the film has been completed and sitting on a shelf for awhile now. That could mean the movie just isn’t that commercial, or it could mean the movie licks bear balls. I guess we’ll find out when Anchor Bay finally releases the movie on DVD next month.

Meanwhile, Shock ‘TIl You Drop is reporting that Zombie is now returning to his mysterious (and apparently dinosaur-free) Tyrannosaurus Rex project now that Halloween II is complete. More to follow…

-AR

Family might be forever, but luckily the movie is only ninety minutes.

Check out the latest trailer at after the jump, if you feel so inclined.

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…but I know some of you dug his Halloween re-make, and I know that curiosity will get the best of me and I’ll go see it opening weekend. Here’s a new, very brief featurette on the flick:

-AR

[via /Film]

…and any hope I had that this might be better than Rob Zombie’s Halloween just went right out the fucking window.

Michael Meyers doesn’t have mommy issues. He’s also not a hillbilly. Both of those traits describe Jason Voorhees just fine, but not Michael Meyers. Congratulations, Rob, you are now doing sub-Platinum Dunes work.

-AR

The rumors are true: Rob Zombie will write and direct a sequel to his Halloween remake, which will be titled H2, since moviegoers are now apparently too stupid for full titles. Trying to talk his way out of the fact that he once publicly swore he’d never make said sequel, Zombie explained “I was so burned out. [But] I took a long break, made a record and I got excited again.” In other words, somebody finally waved a big enough check in front of him to get him to return.

As you can see, there’s already a poster, but Zombie is going to have to rush into production after the New Year in order to make a title-appropriate release date. And, y’know, rushing usually equals quality… right?

-AR

Why would Rob Zombie direct Halloween 2?

I’m a fan of Zombie’s music (generally speaking). And he has written and directed three feature films now, and, honest to goodness, I’ve enjoyed two of them. House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects were like remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the mind-blowingly awesome original, not that piece of shit remake from earlier this decade) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (see last parenthetical), but the tones were backwards: TSM2 and Corpses are really campy and kitschy and over the top, and TSM and Rejects are more genuinely well-made and creepy movies. Corpses didn’t knock my socks off or anything, but I enjoyed it for what it was, and I legitimately think Rejects was just a really cool movie.

But fuck Zombie’s remake of Halloween.

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Not in the “OMG PM5K rulez!!!” kind of way; in fact, I don’t own and haven’t even heard any of their full albums. But in the “when the song comes on the radio I don’t change it, and I kind of enjoy it” type of way. In fact, just yesterday their early-oughts hit “Free” came on in my iTunes, and I quite enjoyed it. And their new track “Super Villain,” available on their MySpace page, is full of just the same kind of straight-ahead industrial rock goodness. Nothing new, high-brow or experimental here; it’s just fun. If you’re a Rob Zombie fan there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy these dudes, family relations aside.

The rap in the middle of the song is inexcusable. Inexcusable. But we’ll just have to excuse that for now. “Super Villain” comes from an in-the-works album with a release date and name TBA.

-VN

I re-watched the original Halloween last night with a friend who somehow had never seen it. Man, it just kicks so much shit out of the Rob Zombie version.

ANYWAY, I’m still kind of willing to give Zombie the benefit of the doubt, as far as being a writer/director is concerned, because I was so impressed with The Devil’s Rejects, which works better as an oddball character study (”Tutti Fucking Fruity!”) than as a Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off.

Above is the teaser poster for Zombie’s next cinematic opus, Tyrannosaurus Rex. Plot details for the film are being kept closely guarded, but as you can probably tell from the art, it has nothing to do with dinosaurs. It also looks like Zombie is back in his element here (e.g., pretending grindhouses aren’t a thing of the past), as opposed to trying (and failing) to improve upon what was already perfect.

Tyrannosaurus Rex hits theaters on August 28th, 2009. If that seems a long way off, don’t worry about trying to remember it… I’m sure Team Zombie will spend most of next summer reminding you.

-AR

[via /Film]

/Film reports that Rob Zombie has posted Dylan Thomas’ 1936 poem, “And Death Shall Have No Dominion,” on the blog for the new film he’s writing and directing,Tyrannosaurus Rex (it apparently has nothing to do with Dinosaurs). Even though I was a lit major in college, I have no desire whatsoever to analyze the poem and try to figure out its connection to the movie; I’ll leave that for the Rob Zombie-obsessed. As for whether or not this is the most pretentious act ever committed by a metal singer-turned-horror schlock director, I’ll leave up to you guys.

After the jump, read the poem in its entirety.

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MTV.com published an interview with Richard Patrick this morning in which the Filter main-man only-man revealed more details about the upcoming fourth Filter record, Anthems for the Damned, tentatively scheduled for release in late March. Tracking was completed in about two weeks with producer Josh Abraham (Slayer, Velvet Revolver) manning the boards.

Business first; Patrick says Army of Anyone (his project with the DeLeo brothers of STP who put out a record last year) is “now on hiatus,” and that he’d love to “do more records with them in the future.” Patrick said it was playing old Filter material during live sets with Army of Anyone that convinced him that the band had to be resurrected:

“But this is not a comeback. Filter’s my legacy. It’s just like Al Jourgensen with Ministry. This is something I took very seriously, something I quit Nine Inch Nails to do, and it has allowed me so much freedom as an artist. I would never turn my back on the thing that has always been the #1 thing in my life. And the core fans that I have, they’re expecting a great record. I knew I’d have to return with the goods, and I’m absolutely convinced that that’s what I have with this record.”

Patrick has recruited an all-star cast of collaborators for this effort; Josh “I’ve played drums on every record ever” Freese, former Marilyn Manson / Rob Zombie guitarist John 5 (who co-wrote two of the album’s tracks), and… ex-Limp Bizkit/ current Black Light Burns guitarist Wes Borland???? Given, Borland was always the most intruiging member of Limp Bizkit, but what??? Maybe it was a political move to solidy Filter’s burgeoning market in Jakarta.

-VN

I hate Halloween. I mean, I guess I don’t mind it in theory, but here in NYC, there’s this huge parade every year that makes it virtually impossible to cross Sixth Avenue all night, which is a real bitch, ’cause I live on one side of Sixth but work on the other – so, sooner or later, I’m gonna hafta try and find a way across. Basically, my evening turns into the most irritating game of Frogger, like, ever.

ANYWAY, here’s ten metal videos that, for whatever reason, strike me as Halloween appropriate. Enjoy.

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