MetalSucks

I haven’t been able to shake this cold, and so I’ve actually been playing a lot of on-line Scrabble with a friend this week (because I’m just that cool). It would be really hard to play Scrabble at a metal show, though, not least of all because so many metal d00dz can’t spell.

When we weren’t beating this whole Uno debacle to death like it had just heckled us, here’s what was happening in the world of metal:

• We streamed Mutiny Within’s self-titled debut album, and premiered a track by Dallas Coyle’s new project, Genetic.
• God Forbid’s Doc Coyle defended mainstream metal, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa discussed the cliffside cave list on L O S T, and, yeah, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable and Daath’s Eyal Levi each weighed-in on a certain incident involving a certain card game.
• Each of the MetalSucks writers endorsed a finalist for the Scion No Label Needed Contest.
• We checked out new albums by The Breathing Process, Hayaino Daisuki, and Bane and Rhinoceros.
• We debated the morality of a label head posting a link to an album leak.
• We are woman, hear us roar.
• We looked at Mike Patton’s penis, and are now increasingly happy our shrink is coming back from vacation next week.
• Our homeboy Corey Mitchell is co-authoring Phil Anselmo’s autobiography!

Okay. Back to Scrabble! See ya Monday. Stay warm.

-AR

I’m not generally one to say negative things about other bands and the choices they make (publicly, at least), but I feel that this really deserves some attention. I can only hope that young metal musicians who read this site can learn from someone else’s mistakes and hopefully one day make the metal world a little less embarrassing to be a part of.

A harsh reality of being in a band, or making music, is that some people won’t like it. ESPECIALLY in the heavy metal world, where people are almost unreasonably opinionated. What other type of music has the kind of audience who heckle a band they don’t like at a show, or argue for days in the comments section of an internet blog about why a certain band sucks? Once you put your music out there to be heard, you are, without a doubt, going to get some negative feedback. The way you handle it, however, is going to determine what kind of longevity your band will ultimately have.

I’m not a fighter at all, so I can’t really speak from experience on when violence is justified, but I know that a relatively meaningless heckling incident is not it. If you consider yourself a professional, you should act like one and think about how your actions affect the outside world’s perception of you and your band. I can think of one particular show as a perfect example of how to and how not to handle yourself in a situation like this.

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I guess yesterday’s story about Rose Funeral beating up on some concertgoers for playing Uno during a recent set in Tulsa has caused a stir – because people are still e-mailing us about it. Here are some tidbits from those e-mails, both directly and indirectly related to the incident:

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NOTE: Devin Shidaker is no longer in Rose Funeral, even though for some reason he’s still listed as a member on the band’s MySpace page. Our apologies for including his name when we initially ran this story.

UPDATE: A source very close to the band tells us that this entire story is true. So that sucks. Original story follows…

Alright. So we’ve been getting e-mails about this since Thursday, and Vince and I struggled with whether or not to run anything about it because, well, the internet can be a terrible place full of nonsense, and we have no way to verify whether or not this event ever actually occurred. But now we’ve gotten so many e-mails about it, it seems like we have to say something.

Still, two disclaimers before we move forward:

1. This should be treated as an unsubstantiated rumor until further notice. Like I said, we’re currently unable to verify if there’s any truth to this story or not.
2. We’re not making any judgments, positive or negative, about Rose Funeral’s music. Whether or not we or anybody else thinks they’re a good band or not is the very definition of “beside the point” in this instance. The point is whether or not one or more members of the band did something really heinous.

And with that being said, here’s the story, as described to us via various e-mails from people who claim to have been present when this all went down…

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After a brutal and packed weekend of Municipal Waste, Brutal Truth, Gwar, and partying, I headed to the Trocadero in Philadelphia a little late to catch half of the Vader show, unfortunately missing the first three bands [Vince caught openers The Amenta and Augury earlier on the tour. -Ed.].

Deathcore kids Rose Funeral played to a small but excited crowd. Decrepit Birth totally ripped through an amazing set, pulling classic moves like singer Bill Robinson jumping completely over the crowd right into our favorite metal head, Grim Kim Kelly. As Vader took the stage, the sea of long hairs started moving and continued to headbang through Vader’s last show in America until the Spring, when they’ll return to Philadelphia to kick off another nationwide tour. There were many thanks given out from the Vader men and as the night ended, I was thankful that I could finally go and get some sleep for the first time in days.

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Absolute garbage. It’s taken me a little while to absorb what Rose Funeral’s sophomore effort, The Resting Sonata, has to offer to anyone with a mature vocabulary of metal, and, unfortunately, the answer is resounding: Not a lot. Though I’m aware that I can sometimes hold bands to a pathetically low-standard as long as they are representative of a sub-genre, play tight and have a lot of heart, Rose Funeral is a grand example of a band that is upsettingly unoriginal and, to be honest, creatively flawed.

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We are incredibly bummed to announce that the inaugural run of the MetalSucks-sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour — which was due to start this week and featured The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral — has been canceled. The official explanation we’ve been given is “due to a handful of personal and other issues.”

So, um, this sucks. No ill will towards Metal Blade or any of the fine bands on the tour, as I’m sure whatever reasons got in the way of this tour happening were good ones. But this still blows.

Ah well. Next time. Sorry.

The MetalSucks sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour, featuring the cream of the crop of Metal Blade Records’ young and upcoming bands, hits the road next week for its inaugural 14-date run. The tour features The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral. Are you guys fuckin’ excited for this yet? We’re bummed the tour isn’t coming to NYC, but we’ll have to live vicariously through you guys. Full tour dates are posted after the fold.

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Lucky for you, more dates have been added to this Spring’s Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour, sponsored by MetalSucks, featuring The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral. In case you’re a fool and still don’t know about these bands, read Axl’s recent pieces about them, linked above.

MetalSucks.net presents Metal Blade’s Fresh Meat Tour w/ THE ABSENCE, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral:
06/19 Richland, NJ Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY Valentines
06/22 Niagra Falls, ON The 4555
06/23 Toronto, ON Sneaky Dee’s 19+
06/24 Brampton, ON Spot One
06/25 Sarnia, ON The Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 LaPorte, IN The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI Fischer Hall
06/29 Chicago, IL Mojoes Rock House
07/01 Des Moines, IA Vaudeville Mews no Rose Funeral
07/02 St. Louis, MO Rockstar Nightclub no Rose Funeral
07/03 Tulsa, OK The Pinkeye no Rose Funeral
07/06 McAllen, TX Smokin Aces no Rose Funeral

I don’t think there’s anything I could say about Epicurean that would be more elegant than what Kevin Stewart-Panko wrote in the June ‘08 issue of Decibel when reviewing the band’s latest album, A Consequence of Design. So I’m just gonna reprint a portion of that review here:

“While every step Epicurean take is drenched in copious melody, it would appear they’re having a hard time deciding whether they want to be Emperor, Dream Theater, Shadows Fall, Children of Bodom or Kalmah. Not that this is a bad thing—or necessarily confusing—as Epicurean’s synthesis is feted by [John] Laramy’s chameleonic vocals, excellent all-around guitar work and keys that artfully balance skill and widdle, with the result being a heck of a lot more interesting than if they just picked one of those individual outfits to emulate. Their synthesis is made all the more potent by their intelligent use of melodies usually heard in Swedish or Norwegian bands, which drape this album in hooks that are as dark and melancholic as they are life-affirming and triumphant; check out ‘The Author and the Architect’ and ‘Illusion.’ But given that they hail from Minnesota—which, according to census figures, might as well be called Little Scandinavia—we shouldn’t be all that surprised.”

Below, check out a fan made video for “The Author and the Architect;” then check out our interview with Epicurean vocalist John Laramy.

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

The MetalSucks-sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat tour featuring The Absence, the Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral now has an official tour flyer. So take this shit and plaster it up on your bathroom stalls, MySpace pages, or wherever. Because this is not a tour to miss!

In case you missed the announcement, all of the bands on this bill fuckin’ destroy. Check out Axl’s pieces on The Absence and The Destro from last week.

-VN

Here’s what I wrote about The Destro back in August, in a piece cleverly entitled “The Destro are Fuckin’ Metal”:

“How fuckin’ metal? So fuckin’ metal that in bar fights they can only bitch slap their opponents, because hitting them with a closed fist is the legal equivalent of beating someone with an aluminum baseball bat. So fuckin’ metal that they piss hot molten lead and shit lug nuts. So fuckin’ metal that the first thing they do every morning is lather themselves in WD-40. So fuckin’ metal that if they go out in the rain, they rust. So fuckin’ metal that if they go to the beach, they can’t go into the ocean because they’ll sink right to the bottom. So fuckin’ metal that Unearth frontman Trevor Phipps signed them to his Ironclad label after he discovered them during a mining expedition. So fuckin’ metal that they readily loses electrons to form positive ions, and if you put them in a room with a non-metal band, they’d form an ionic bond.”

Still apples, dude. Still applies.

Here’s their video for “Beast Burden.”

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

Are you guys seriously not excited about the MetalSucks sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat tour? If that’s the case, then I’m fairly sure it’s just because you’re not down with The Absence, and by “down with,” I mean “have heard at least one of their songs.” ‘Cause if you’ve ever heard a song by The Absence, then you’d know that, in the words of MetalSucks reader attackmole, the band is “tiiiiiiiiiiight.”

So below is the video for the title track from their Erik Rutan-produced 2005 Metal Blade debut, From Your Grave. Produced by the legendary Erik Rutan, it is one of the best European melodic death metal albums I’ve ever heard by a band not actually from Europe. ‘Cause this band is actually from Florida, where they recorded this album with producer Erik Rutan. Also, did I mention it was produced by ERIK FUCKING RUTAN?

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

We didn’t lead you astray with the MetalSucks co-sponsored Paganfest, and we certainly wouldn’t dare do so with any other tour we put our name on. We are extremely proud to announce that MetalSucks will be sponsoring this Spring’s ‘Metal Blade Fresh Meat’ tour, featuring Metal Blade young guns The Absence, Ironclad Recordings’ The Destro, as well as Epicurean and Rose Funeral! Get pumped. And get ready to get sick of hearing us talk about this tour.

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace