Adrenaline Mob, the new band featuring ex-Dream Theater drummer Mike Portony, Symphony X vocalist Russell Allen, and Stuck Mojo/Fozzy guitarist Rich Ward, are now streaming their debut EP in full (below). And, as we have suspected since the project was announced in June, it’s lame.

I mean, I’m sure it will have its defenders, but I’d also wager that those defenders all have beer guts, and reside either in New Jersey or on Long Island. Because that’s how this music sounds; like it was made by a dude who was prom king back in ’86 and basically hasn’t been able to see his own penis since. It’s like one of these demos people send us where the band clearly had no higher aspiration than to be the next Black Label Society, and yet, they have failed miserably.

Feel free to check it out for yourself, though. I hope you have a super-awesome good time!

-AR

When I heard about the Dream Theater-shaped hole in the life of drummer Mike Portnoy back in September, I wanted to pitch him on my long-gestating idea to form a killer Jellyfish cover band. I bet he’d be into it cuz of his Jellyfish super-fandom (he has cited 1993′s Spilt Milk as a top ten favorite album); and he’s a pro at pulling together all-star jams, like his awesomely fun tributes to The Who, The Beatles, and Led Zeppelin with guys like Paul Gilbert, Jason McMaster, and Dave LaRue; and lastly, The Ghosts At Number One (that’s my vote for our band name) could serve as a totally non-cynical tribute to another hardcore Jellyfish fan, the late Dimebag Darrell Abbott. And what better way to hip headbangers to irresistible non-metal jams? How could Mike say no to that? Can I call him Mike?

But, shit, while I was dicking around, gobbling drugs, and failing to corner, pressure, and/or threaten Portnoy about the Jellyfish idea, he teamed with qualified musicians he knows who actually, like, realize their ideas. Even if those ideas aren’t so great. Symphony X singer Russell Allen talks about Adrenaline Mob, one of Portnoy’s new bands:

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Ayreon mastermind Arjen Anthony Lucassen is always keeping busy, and 2010 is no exception: Next week InsideOut will release Victims of the Modern Age, the second album from his Star One project. Featuring vocals by Russell Allen (Symphony X), Damian Wilson (Headspace, Threshold), Floor Jansen (ReVamp, ex-After Forever), and Dan Swanö (ex-Bloodbath, Nightingale, Edge of Sanity) and lyrics based on a series of classic, post-apocalyptic sci-fi films and television series — including A Clockwork Orange, Blade Runner, and Firefly — Victims of the Modern Age is a must-have for fans of edgy-yet-melodic metal. MetalSucks is proud to debut the track “24 Hours,” which you can stream below. Once you hear how awesome it is, pre-order Victims of the Modern Age here.

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And after the jump, read my exclusive chat with Lucassen about the differences between Star One and all his other various projects, how he goes about collaborating with these legendary singers, Star One’s lyrical content, and what he has in store for fans after Star One…

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Will Vince murder me if I compare Star One, the new project from multi-instrumentalist and Ayreon mastermind Arjen Lucassen, to Dream Theater? ‘Cause I can’t really think of a more apt comparison. Classically infectious main riff? Check. Vocals sure to elicit homophobic epithets? Check. Super proggy guitar solo interspersed with an equally proggy synth solo played in a keyboard tone that is awesome even as it somehow conveys years of chronic masturbation in the face of a complete inability to lose one’s virginity? Check. Dorkiness out the wazoo? My fellow Firefly nerds (I still have just enough dignity left not to refer to myself as a “browncoat”) will recognize the title of Star One’s new song, “Earth That Was,” as a reference to Joss Whedon’s cult show. So, yeah, big 10-4 on that last one.

But as is the case with Dream Theater, I kid because I love. I mean, this shit really is as geeky as geeky gets, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s also really fun. In other words: Maybe a more apt comparison than Dream Theater would just be Ayreon.

“Earth That Was” is streaming at Noisecreep. It features vocals by Russell Allen (Symphony X), Damian Wilson (Headspace, Threshold), Floor Jansen (ReVamp, ex-After Forever), and Dan Swano (duh), in case my witticisms didn’t already have you foaming at the mouth. And it comes off of Star One’s new album, Victims of the Modern Age, which is out October 26th via InsideOut Music.

-AR