Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

And now, it’s the time of the week you’ve all been waiting for: the three-hour window your folks are out of the house, allowing you to jack off comfortably Decibel’s monthly Guess Next Month’s Cover and Win a Decibot Shirt Contest! I’m going to predict this will be the first “FIRST” to get the answer right —provided, of course, that the band/musician/farm animal we’re spotlighting is in fact typed out below the “FIRST.” Unless the first person who sees this types in “System of a Down,” just to be a dick/radical. That said, it’s been a few years since System of a Down proper existed — although who hasn’t enjoyed the “Five Serj Tankian Solo Albums Nobody Cares About/Bassist ‘n’ Friend Randomly Beating the Shit Out of Brent Hinds Era” — so they could ostensibly be rocking spiked wristbands now.

But no, it’s not System of a Down. There’s your hint.

-AB

Decibel’s June 2011 issue, which features Ghost, Killing Joke, Mastodon, Hate Eternal, Gorguts, Protest the Hero, Born of Osiris, and Scale The Summit is available here, or make your mama proud and just get a full subscription.

I’m tired of posting the same old high-charting consistent sellers (heyo Disturbed, Linkin Suck, etc) and I’m sure you’re even more tired of reading about them, so this week I’d like to focus on the Top Hard Music Albums charts with a special emphasis on debuts. This week’s notable sales numbers with my own snarky comments (natch) after the flip.

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Believe it or not, folks still buy CDs. I know… I’m shocked too. But the weekly Soundscan numbers released by Neilsen actually do include digital downloads too. I know what you’re thinking… people still pay for music? I s’pose so. Here are the most recent week’s charting hard rock and metal releases, with my own snarky commentary, natch. Check those tags down yonder for a list of covered releases.

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Like Porcupine Tree’s clip for “Bonnie the Cat,” Serj Tankian’s new video, for the song “Left of Center,” is clearly inspired by Tool’s classic “Sober” video, and as was the case with said Porcupine Tree clip, I’m totally fine with that. ‘Cause the director (I’m not sure who that is, unfortunately) has put enough of his own spin on it for the video not to seem like a total rip-off, and ’cause, as regular readers know, I’m all for awesome animation in music videos.

Of course, this is Serj Tankian, so there’s a lot of not-at-all-thinly-veiled political imagery in the clip (e.g., an eyeball made from jewels, an over-stimulated, texting teenage gamer being swallowed whole by a snake made from the very technology he utilizes, etc.). But at least I can tell what the hell Serj is getting at, which is more than I can say for the lyrics to some System of a Down songs (What the fuck does leaving my keys on the table have to do with anything again?).

“Left of Center” comes off of Tankian’s latest solo offering, Imperfect Harmonies, which comes out September 21 on Serjical Strike/Reprise. If you haven’t already done so, you should check out Vince’s excellent interview with Serj here.

-AR

Here we had this entire week devoted to hair metal, and I feel like we only scratched the surface. Let’s do this again real soon, okay?

Here’s some of the fun we had this week, be it hair-metal related or not:

• Cynic’s Paul Masvidal taught us to be mind-less, Antagonist’s Carlos Garcia taught us about the song “Sasha Grey,” and Trap Them’s Ryan McKenney taught us more about corporate-sponsored live shows.
• Anso and Allyson from Bring Back Glam! counted down the Ten Best Must-Have Glam Metal Albums.
• We counted down the Top Ten Bands Most Often Miscategorized as Hair Metal.
• Vince spoke with Serj Tankian, Gary spoke with Frankie from Emmure, and Sergeant D. spoke with Samantha Maloney from Brother Clyde/Shift/Hole/Motley Crue/every band ever.
• We debuted a new track by The Binary Code!
• Leyla Ford counted down the ten worst and best hair metal band names.
• Sammy checked out the new release by Eibon.
• Dave Mustein checked out The Cool Tour.
• Someday, this little girl is going to make Sergeant D. very, very unhappy.
• I can’t tell the difference between all the members of Mushroomhead, can you?

I wanna especially thank Allyson from Bring Back Glam! for all her help this week — we love you, Allyson! Come back anytime.

Monday we return, but we’ll have a little less Aqua Net in our hair, a little less eyeliner on our lids, and a lot less skip in our step. See ya then.

-AR

Going into my chat with Serj Tankian I already had a high opinion of the man as a singer, a musician, and as a member of System of a Down, a band whose body of work I hold in high regard. But through the course of the interview, the picture of the man behind the music only became more clear: Tankian is a true artist, a man who considers himself extremely lucky to be able to do what he does for a living and, as such, feels continually inspired to constantly push himself and his art forward.

Our talk touched on obvious subjects such as Serj’s forthcoming new solo record Imperfect Harmonies and the differences between his solo projects and his work with System of a Down, but we also spent a lot of time talking about ways in which he’s constantly striving to push his art forward by trying new things: recording the new record with an orchestra and bringing its 25 extra musicians out on the road with him, what it means to him to let politics and music intermingle, and some non-traditional projects he’s working on such as his new poetry book, a musical that’s opening next year, a symphony he’s writing, a museum project he’s putting together and much much more.

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I had completely forgotten about Vince’s love of Bob Ross until his post yesterday. It would have been awesome if Bob had done an all-metal edition of his show, in which he discussed the joy of Ed Repka and Paul Romano. Learning about your craft is so metal! Thanks for reminding me, Vince, about what an inspiration Bob should be to us all.

Here’s some other things we did this week:

• We spoke to Anthrax’s Joey Belladonna, the legendary Wino, Harvey Milk’s Creston Spiers, and Cruel Hand’s Chris Linkovich.
• Vince, Axl and Gary discussed their favorite albums of 2010 so far.
• We’re giving away a free mp3 of Fistula’s “Ohio Death Toll Rising.”
• We checked out new releases by Kvereltak, Misery Index, Watain, and Parkway Drive.
• Anso reviewed the Big Four Live from Sofia, Bulgaria movie theater satellite thingy.
• Vince did a really a good job of impersonating Axl.
• Vince also discovered two new Sumeriancore bands that stink, and one that doesn’t.
• He also wondered: What is it with drummers wearing basketball jerseys?
• Guess what Serj Tankian thinks borders are?
• DEVIN TOWNSEND HEADLINE TOUR! DEVIN TOWNSEND HEADLINE TOUR!!!

A week from today, Vince and I see Faith No More in Brooklyn. So expect lots and lot of pointless pondering about FNM next week, ’cause that’s pretty much all I’m gonna be able to think about.

-AR

… well, if you know anything about Serj Tankian I’ll bet you can closely guess what Serj Tankian thinks of the random lines that separate our countries. But he tells you anyway in his brand new song “Borders Are,” for which the lyric video can be streamed below:

Is it coincidence that the last border to rise is the U.S. / Mexican border? I’m guessing this video was produced by someone at Serj’s label, but I wouldn’t put it past him to make a statement like that.

“Borders Are” comes from Serj’s new album Imperfect Harmonies, available September 7th via Warner Bros. Records. More info is available at Serj’s website. I guess it’s still gonna be a while until SOAD inevitably come back together to make new music, but I dug Serj’s last solo record and will certainly be giving this one a listen.

-VN

Back in January, System of a Down bassist Shavo Odajian caused quite a stir when he seemed to suggested that metal’s most famous Armenian American band was finally reuniting after a hiatus of what seemed like for-ever. Then, the next day, he basically sent out another tweet taking it back, and vocalist Serj Tankian finally stated that  ”we have not decided to do anything as of yet,” and that the band would continue their “indefinite hiatus.”

I was hoping that this was just Serj trying to throw fans off the scent – we’ve seen a lot of musicians deny reunion rumors right before the official announcement – but I guess not, ’cause Scars on Broadway, the SOAD side-project that only I liked, are getting back together for a show in May.

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It’s old news by now that a new GN’R song, “If the World,” makes its official debut (e.g., not the debut it made when it leaked earlier this year) over the closing credits of the new movie Body of Lies. It’s the second new song Guns have officially released this year, and the second new song the band has done virtually nothing to publicize. Rumors keep circulating that Chinese Democracy will finally come out in late November, but meanwhile it’s October 10 and the band hasn’t made a peep.

ANYWAY, considerably less publicized is the fact that after the GN’R tune concludes, a second song, “Bird’s Eye,” plays over the closing credits – and it’s collaboration between Mike Patton, Serj Tankian, and the film’s composer, Marc Streitenfeld.

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As an American, I expect to be lied to. Even if it’s a bad lie. Of course Sarah Palin can’t tell Fox News “I flubbed the Katie Couric interview because I’m a moron and I don’t know anything outside of the talking points I’ve been coached on.” It would just be too insulting to the literally dozens of people who actually think she’s an intelligent, well-qualified political candidate. So she has to say she flubbed the interview because she was “annoyed” that Couric wasn’t asking questions the American people care about (And by “American people,” Palin means… actually, I’m not sure who the fuck she means. Not me.). It’s bullshit – it’s not even good bullshit – but it’s what we do in life, whether it be for political or personal reasons. If you’re not going to a friend’s party, you tell your friend “Oh, my dick is caught in my zipper” or something other than “I have better things to do.”

Well, apparently, Daron Malakian didn’t get the memo, because a statement released to Blabbermouth yesterday by Scars on Broadway is either a) bullshit so bad it makes Palin look like master manipulator or b) a sign that Malakian literally just does not give two shits about his literally dozens of fans*.

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So while it was rumored for awhile that this year’s edition of Ozzfest would be a two day event – but it has now been announced that it’ll be just one single day, on Saturday, August 9, at at Pizza Hut Park* in Dallas, Texas. The line-up will be as follows:

Main Stage
OZZY OSBOURNE
METALLICA
SERJ TANKIAN
HELLYEAH
JONATHAN DAVIS
CAVALERA CONSPIRACY
SHADOWS FALL
APOCALYPTICA
IN THIS MOMENT
All-Star Tribute To “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott

Second Stage
SEVENDUST
DEVILDRIVER
KINGDOM OF SORROW
SOILENT GREEN
WITCHCRAFT
GOATWHORE

Texas (Third) Stage
THE SWORD
DROWNING POOL
RIGOR MORTIS

Actually, that is, by no means, a terrible line-up; if the stages are staggered at all (and I imagine they will be), it would be plenty easy to keep oneself occupied during sets from In This Moment, Jonathan Davis, and HellNo. And I guess it’s honorable of Metallica to let Ozzy play last, even though, at this point, a) they’re much bigger than Ozzy and b) Ozzy has to be in bed by 8 pm. I mean, if I was Ozzy, and I’d spent recent Ozzfests getting blown off the stage by the likes of Maiden and Priest, I certainly wouldn’t wanna follow Metallica. But, y’know, nice of Ulrich and Hetfield to step aside for one night and let the Ozzman cometh.

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A simple but effective video from the System Of a Down frontman, “Sky Is Over” comes from Serj Tankian’s Fall 2007 release Elect the Dead. The visual is simple but visually pleasing and effective, and as usual relates to to the political theme of the song. Seriously, someone listen to this guy, he’s smarter and more clever than any of the politicians we see on TV.

-VN

Serj Tankian seems to be a pretty popular guy around here but we haven’t discussed his politics yet, and frankly a conversation about Serj Tankian without mentioning politics is like a conversation about the artistic merits of porn without talking about fucking; utterly fruitless. In this clip, the System of a Down frontman shares his view on escapism in the form of antidepressants and politics.

Serj’s solo album Elect the Dead came out yesterday via Serjical Strike / Reprise.

-VN

Doubt that System of a Down frontman Serj Eddie Murphy Tankian is one of the most creative and forward-thinking minds in metal today? Look no further than this video of Serj interviewing himself… and producing, playing bass, engineering, A&Ring, record-exec-ing, and delivering pizza.

Serj’s new album Elect the Dead comes out October 23 on his own Serjical Strike label (through Warner Bros.).

-VN

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